Messed up

[Pirate]

I feel your pain but it sounds like you handled yourself, and the situation, well.
Turn your mind to something else and let the situation unfold, or fold up, in its own time.
Good luck, brother.

 

[Guillotine01a]

What do you think is her problem? Or whats going on in her mind?

 

[Pirate]

There is no way of knowing. She probably does't even know.
Trying to figure that out will eat you alive and will not help you deal with this. Turn your focus to something else.

 

[Batwoman]

No way to tell for sure, but the fact that she's still talking to you at all means that she is still interested in you. My guess is that she is scared to trust you and is still not certain what your intentions are. I am not sure there is a cure for that except time and continued apologies. It would be good if you guys could just do something together -- anything -- that isn't focused on this whole affair. Lunch or a coffee break, something not loaded with significance but that would give you a chance to have a bit of normalcy.

 

[Guillotine01a]

Bat Woman depending on her mood and answer over the next few days I am contemplating doing something. I was thinking of hitting up her older brother (he doesn't know about us...so thats the catch) and getting her address from him and then surprising her at her house with flowers and just saying I wanted to stop by and seeing if she wants to grab coffee. I would go to her sister but she would probably tell her, so would her friends. So her brther is my only option. I don't how he'll take us being together tho

 

[Batwoman]

You don't know her address and you've never been to her house? Her brother doesn't know about you? It sure does sound like she's been keeping you at arms length. Don't violate that space. Text her and ask her out for coffee -- let her pick a time, don't pressure her. If she doesn't respond to all these overtures, then I'm with Pirate -- turn your focus to something else. There are limits to what you can do.

 

[Pirate]

Bat Woman depending on her mood and answer over the next few days I am contemplating doing something. I was thinking of hitting up her older brother (he doesn't know about us...so thats the catch) and getting her address from him and then surprising her at her house with flowers and just saying I wanted to stop by and seeing if she wants to grab coffee. I would go to her sister but she would probably tell her, so would her friends. So her brther is my only option. I don't how he'll take us being together tho

I know that you mean well, but that will look too much like stalking. Give her room to breath and sort things out for herself. You cannot mae this happen all by yourself. She has to want it too.

 

[Guillotine01a]

Heres the thing. We've only gotten serious in the last two or three months and I've been invited to her house. Its just something occured where we weren't able to hang out for two months. Nothing to do with me and her relationship. But shes offered to pick e up to go to her house to have sex when her dad wasn't home and things like that and for me to come over after her dance recital. Honestly, the last time she talked about her brother and me was that he asked who i was and she said I was just a close friend cause her older brother has that type of protective relationship with her sister. Shes not really allowed to date. Her mom knows and is okay with it but her dad and brother don't. So thats why i never went to her house yet. We were planning on it this week cause her dads not home but this whole ordeal happened. So I'm guessing that whole going to her house situation is out of the question? I am by no means a stalker or anything like that. If she would of never spoken to me this would of been over due to my pride issue but that fact taht she wants it makes me want it too.

 

[Pirate]

Man, you have to ease up and throttle back a bit. Find something physical to do today: run a marathon, build a house for a poor neighbor, dig a pool, get yourself tired and clear your mind.

 

[Guillotine01a]

In no such way do I want to look like a stalker or creeper. haha just the thought of it freaks me out. I've seen too many of those dudes haha.

 

[Pirate]

Good man.
Now go get your shovel and dig that pool. Summer will be here soon and you want to be ready.

 

[Guillotine01a]

Well Pirate. I took your advice, unfortunately I already have a pool so I decided to just go to the gym for a little more then usual. Again last night she comes with the late night txts. Its like she doesn't know how to let go.

 

[Pirate]

Bummer. She may not know how to let go. Some people are like that. The trick is to make sure that you are not one of them.
How did you respond to that? How do you feel today?

 

[Guillotine01a]

Well she tells me that she just wanted to say that she misses me. All the time but more at night. I reply back with I miss you too. She gives me an unhappy face (Stupid) then I tell her that i recognize my mistakes and to see her happy and to make things right means a lot to me and to have a nice sleep (I'm not trying to talk this over again until she is ready to talk...usually its just me apologizing and her saying I don't know). All she replies back with this this: "......" Now tell me how in the hell am I suppose to figure out what that means? I just ignored and went to sleep. Today I feel like sh*t. yesterday felt great until the night then I was back into confusion mode.

 

[Pirate]

Well, it sounded pretty good until the "......" part.
I don't know what that means either.
How about responding with "I don't know what that means but I want us both to be happy again. What do you need?" ?
And then head back to the gym to get yourself good and tired.

 

[Guillotine01a]

Yeah thats what i was saying Pirate, I feel like I finally made some progress and then she hits me with that. Well my brother, I think its a little too late to respond now. Hence its already been more then 12 hours. I could say I fell asleep but she seems like shes most vulnerable at night.(That sounded weird but you get what I'm saying) Anyways my game plan is to wait for another barrage of late night txts tonight then ask her to hang out tomorrow and take her to dinner and talk it out face to face. If that doesn't work I'm going to tell her to move on with her life so i can with mine. Sounds good to you guys? Another thing. Single red rose or a dozen?

 

[Batwoman]

Maybe "....." meant "zzzzzzzz" or something?
Anyway, it sounds like you have a good plan, Guillotine.
One red rose, max. And only if you can hand it to her in person.

 

[Pirate]

I am a one rose man, myself. As perfect a bud as you can find.
Speak slowly and from your heart.
You are a good man and a good woman will see that.

 

[calixto]

Just stick with PE.

Make PE your new girlfriend. She will NEVER turn her back on you!

Best of luck brother.

 

[Pirate]

Just stick with PE.

Make PE your new girlfriend. She will NEVER turn her back on you!

Best of luck brother.

You, sir, are a true romantic.