Jump start a dead libido?

[pexw]

About a year ago I recognized that I had porn-induced ED. I had been with a number of women over the previous two years and was rarely able to get it up, and when I did it was with major difficulty. I stopped watching hardcore porn videos for the most part last february, and over the past months have slowly cycled off to where I am now recently without any kind of pornographic imagery at all. This has helped my ED big time, but it wasn't until recently that I tried to stop masturbating to see if I could reboot completely and get back to how things should be.

Since december, I have had streaks of 14 days and 11 days without any masturbation or erotic imagery. At the end of each period I binged on the hardcore porn that I used to watch. I am now on day 7 of my third streak, this time very serious and sure that I will not go back to hardcore porn in my life. During the first two streaks, I was so horny that my balls were aching all the time. I was waking up every morning with raging erections to the point where it felt like I might come just by touching it. However, for some reason during this 7 day streak my libido has been completely and utterly dead. My morning wood has been either very weak or non-existent. I feel so strange. I have been neither happy nor sad, feeling pretty much nothing at all mentally or physically. It's like I have no desire to do anything... I've never felt anything like this before. I'm usually a very intense and focused person. I went to the gym today to exercise and had no desire to do anything. I got through about 2 exercises before I felt utterly drained, showered and went home.

I started dating a girl around Thanksgiving. I'm crazy about this girl. She went out of the country for a month-long trip and just got back a few days ago. She wanted to have sex last night, since it was the first time I had seen her in over a month, but my penis didn't do ANYTHING at all. And this is the most attractive/smart girl I've ever met. I was able to give her a manual orgasm, though, so she wasn't too disappointed.

The question is: When can I expect my sex drive to pick back up again? Is there anything I can do to help? Would it be a mistake to get a few viagra to support me in the meantime? I'm even having trouble getting erect by myself. I looked at some porn earlier just to check if my member was still functional, and I had to look at some seriously hardcore stuff that I had no desire to see in order to get 90-95% erect. Luckily, the girl I've been dating woke up this morning with a cold, so she probably won't be wanting to see me again for at least a few days. Is there anything I can do in the meantime to jumpstart my dead libido? I'm absolutely crazy about this girl, I've never met anyone like her before, and I'm afraid if I can't get it up again then she may start to question my virility, and rightfully so.

By the way, I'm 23 years old. I eat healthy, get plenty of sleep, and work out 3-5 days every week.

Thanks for reading and any advice you can give is greatly appreciated.

 

[justadude]

The question is: When can I expect my sex drive to pick back up again? Is there anything I can do to help? Would it be a mistake to get a few viagra to support me in the meantime?

Yes there is something you can do to help. Firstly the big one, stop watching porn! You mind is conditioned to be aroused by porn and hardcore porn at that so anything less and your dick won't move. Also don't stop masturbating, i'd only do it 3 times a week but you need to start reconditioning your mind back to being turned on by dirty thoughts alone. So get some lube go to your room and start by picturing the things you'd like to do to this girl so much. This will mostly likely take some while for your mojo to get going and used to being reconditioned so to add do some edging with every session so bring yourself to the PONR 3-4 times before you ejaculate.

If your ever worried about getting it up, before you go to her place or vice versa, get back in your room, get the lube and baloon brining yourself just before the PONR as many times as you need and no happy ending. This should leave you in a histerical 'I need sex' state for a good 2hrs so by the time you see her you'd be thinking of is the quickest way to rip her clothes off and if a woman turns you on that much then she definaltey deserves some rough handling for punishment

Hope this helps

 

[pexw]

Thanks. This seems to make sense. I did do some edging last night and it seems to have helped maybe a bit. I still woke up this morning with zero morning wood, which is very out of the ordinary for me, though as I was falling asleep last night I had a decent erection, which is also out of the ordinary.

I have been sleeping A LOT lately. Like up to 10 hours a night for about two weeks. I'm thinking that this has been a large factor. I forced myself to wake up after about 7 hours this morning and I do feel much better.

 

[Pegasus]

Get a medical check hormone levels etc.

 

[pexw]

Get a medical check hormone levels etc.

Where do I go for that?

 

[Rockitman]

Go to your primary physician. A couple of questions, though: you've been sleeping more than usual, have a loss of libido and erection issues-have you experienced depression or excessive stress lately?

 

[pexw]

Go to your primary physician. A couple of questions, though: you've been sleeping more than usual, have a loss of libido and erection issues-have you experienced depression or excessive stress lately?

Thanks for the response.

Yes a bit of both. I'm a graduate student in an Ivy league school and I've been working on writing term papers. That's the stress part. The depression part is that it's gotten very cold here plus being a graduate student I have very few friends, so I've been going for days at a time with almost no conversation. I wouldn't say the depression is bad, I've definitely been more depressed before. In fact, I wouldn't really call it depression, it's more like a kind of empty nothingness that I haven't felt before. It's so strange. Even with the girl that I like, I haven't really felt anything for her since this started. I mean I know that I like her, I even admire her, but I don't really get the jittery feeling around her like I was getting before. When she was away for a month we emailed back and forth every few days and I would get nervous waiting for her response and very happy when her message finally showed up in my inbox.

I did feel a bit better today after sleeping a perfect 7 hours last night, so hopefully I will continue to improve.

 

[pexw]

just found this: HELP! I quit porn, but my potency, genital size, and libido are decreasing | Your Brain On Porn

 

[Pegasus]

Thanks for the response.

Yes a bit of both. I'm a graduate student in an Ivy league school and I've been working on writing term papers. That's the stress part. The depression part is that it's gotten very cold here plus being a graduate student I have very few friends, so I've been going for days at a time with almost no conversation. I wouldn't say the depression is bad, I've definitely been more depressed before. In fact, I wouldn't really call it depression, it's more like a kind of empty nothingness that I haven't felt before. It's so strange. Even with the girl that I like, I haven't really felt anything for her since this started. I mean I know that I like her, I even admire her, but I don't really get the jittery feeling around her like I was getting before. When she was away for a month we emailed back and forth every few days and I would get nervous waiting for her response and very happy when her message finally showed up in my inbox.

I did feel a bit better today after sleeping a perfect 7 hours last night, so hopefully I will continue to improve.

Bingo , you need a holiday and human contact, exercise,sunshine. still worth a checkup and blood test though.

 

[Rockitman]

A common malady for college students, particularly in the North at this time of year is what some call the "Daaaaark Ages..." you're right at the hump of your school year, pouring over term papers until you're bleary-eyed and June seems like light-years away. Also, it's cold, with seemingly endless days of gray skies. Add to that the possiblity of a little porn-withdrawl and you've got a rippin' case of the 'blahs' and even your gf may not be able to easily jump-start you out of. If possible, you need a little getaway, if your schedule permits. If not, try to do something different and spontaneous.

When I was in college, we once had a Hawaiian Luau in February, right after mid-term exams, just to take the edge off. It was funny, coming in from the snow, taking off heavy coats and sweatpants to reveal Hawaiian shirts and bermudas underneath, we did the whole think up Hawaiian-style, music, food, turned the thermostat to 85-the works (co-eds in bikinis didn't hurt either.) I know that sounds a little goofy, but ANYTHING to break the monotony is a welcome change and does wonders for the soul. Hey, you're a smart guy, an Ivy-leaguer no less, BE CREATIVE. If its something you can include your gal on, even better.

Speaking of which, let her know what's going on with you: talk through it with her, and if she's how you've described her, she can help you get through it. The fact that she has a bit of a cold right now may be a good opportunity for you to get back into the relationship as you knew it before she left, physically and otherwise: you can maintain contact with her and get comfortable again without the pressure of having to perform. When she feels better, slowly ease back into sex. Until then, it sounds like the edging worked for you, so go with it. And add some jelq's and kegels, if they aren't already a part of your routine.

A lot of guys on this forum look for some kind of dramatic technique or treatment: sex is only one facet of our total being that is dependent on the balance of our other facets, simply put, happy healthy people have happy healthy sex.

This is just a bump in the road: you're an intelligent grad-student at a prestigious school with a great girlfriend and a bright future: others should be so lucky.

You CAN get through this!​

 

[pexw]

Thanks for your thoughtful responses. After reading over other forums throughout the past few days, it seems that the problem I'm having is actually a fairly common thing for people who have decided to stop masturbating after years of heavy porn use.

The thing with the girl I'm seeing is that I haven't had sex with her yet. I'm not going to tell her about masturbation. I'm just going to tell her that I've been depressed because of the weather, sleeping too much and smoking too much pot, and as a result my sex drive has crashed and should be back with a vengeance within the next week or so. Hopefully she can be patient.

 

[drknoba]

Well sounds like you have porn induced ED like me.

Your brain has become desensitized to women in real life.

You need to reboot your brain to increase the sensitivity to women.

Porn is an addiction just like alcohol is. When an alcoholic gets drunk for the first time they only need a bit, then after years and years, they now need a bottle of vodka just to get drunk. This is the same with your penis. Your penis needs a major hit of dopamine to get an erection. Porn releases heaps more dopamine than a real women. So you need hardcore porn now to get hard not a women. I'm pretty sure that's the theory behind it.

Your Brain On Porn | Evolution has not prepared your brain for today's Internet porn. has all the information you need. I suggest doing a reboot like me if you want to recover.

Im currently doing a reboot and im at week 5 of no porn, no masturbation, no orgasm. And its working.

 

[pexw]

drknoba, I don't think you read my first post. I already said everything that you just said.

 

[second lensman]

Most young men go thru a period of depression in their 20's. Sometimes it helps just knowing you're not alone in that regard. In any case it does pass.

 

[pexw]

I think it's starting to come back. I'm able to get a firm erection for the first time in about a week, just with touch and very minimal fantasy. Hopefully I will wake up tomorrow with an oak tree between my legs.

 

[longrodten]

My sex drive got destroyed getting cheated on and treated very badly by my ex-wife, reduced my self image and sex drive backed up along with it.

I found if I didn't think about it and being around females who liked me, there was no pressure and over time and repititions the confidence in your tool and libido will increase with it.

My solution for you, would be low pressure sexual activity with your current girlfriend and do not mention your "problem", because she might get it stuck in her mind.

The low pressure activity will be you guys kissing, caressing each other and low pressure oral sex. Get used to your cock being taken care of as you remove your focus from porn onto your girlfriend. I'd put alot of time in, so your memories are of getting taken care of.

Viagra or Cialis can help to bridge the gap, but you may not need it at all.

 

[Sumta]

Most young men go thru a period of depression in their 20's. Sometimes it helps just knowing you're not alone in that regard. In any case it does pass.

i did at one point, no real reason to trigger it, had a decent job, good gf, bank roll was fine, just up and kicked me in teh head for 6 months till i beat it.

 

[longrodten]

Can you describe your depression? So things that weren't bothering before were triggering depressive thoughts? Want to understand relationships, how you looked at things before/during/after, etc...

 

[longrodten]

Thanks for your thoughtful responses. After reading over other forums throughout the past few days, it seems that the problem I'm having is actually a fairly common thing for people who have decided to stop masturbating after years of heavy porn use.

The thing with the girl I'm seeing is that I haven't had sex with her yet. I'm not going to tell her about masturbation. I'm just going to tell her that I've been depressed because of the weather, sleeping too much and smoking too much pot, and as a result my sex drive has crashed and should be back with a vengeance within the next week or so. Hopefully she can be patient.

"should be back with a vengeance within the next week or so." - I would say 6 months of continuous successful sexual experiences would be what's required to restore and maintain a healthy, resiliant strong sex drive.

After this much time, you KNOW, your body KNOW and your brain KNOWS and you have a thick stack of memories to back it. One of the most important lessons of PE is many things that are worth it take time and patience working toward the goal. But you have to put in the time!

 

[litopita]

"should be back with a vengeance within the next week or so." - I would say 6 months of continuous successful sexual experiences would be what's required to restore and maintain a healthy, resiliant strong sex drive.

After this much time, you KNOW, your body KNOW and your brain KNOWS and you have a thick stack of memories to back it. One of the most important lessons of PE is many things that are worth it take time and patience working toward the goal. But you have to put in the time!

How did you come up with that 6 month figure? What if i do 5 months and 29 days of success and then 1 day of failure. Then what? Have to go back to the start and "count" again?