I want to beat PE SO BAD...

km0

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I'm sick of this. I've had this stupid PE for years now and I'm finally getting to the point where I want to officially take charge and beat it. With no exaggeration, I can only last about 10 seconds upon penetration. People talk about sex and how great it is, but I feel like I'm truly missing out on the experience.

I want to be able to grab my girl and do whatever I want to her without worrying about coming so fast. It's killing my confidence.


Questions:

1. What does sex feel like to you? For me, it feels so good that I instantly kegal with every pump that I just come. These kegals are involuntary and I cannot relax them.

2. When you guys have sex or masturbate, do your kegals flex involuntary? Or is it completely relaxed?

3. Sometimes when I'm high, my PC muscles are completely relaxed and I definitely last longer and actually enjoy the sensations. Also when I'm about to come, they continue to relax until the PONR. Then I have the most amazing orgasm ever. I am very sure that sex would be 10x better if I could relax the way I do.

4. How does edging exactly help? How does coming near the PONR and then stopping help? For me, when I am coming close to coming and I stop, the feeling goes away. However, once I start up again, the feeling of coming comes up right away.

Yes, I read all the stickies and important posts to read but I just feel like I need more motivation. I almost feel like this is genetics and I will always have this for the rest of my life. I feel like once I beat this, I can truly enjoy my life. I know that sounds pathetic but I truly want to unleash my hunger to dominate any girl I want but I just can't.

When I try to do kegal exercises, I feel like I'm not even targeting right muscles even though I'm doing everything I read here.

This is a long post but I guess it's my rant. I've dealt with this for years but never seen any progress and I think it's because I don't have a sturdy foundation or set program. I just do kegals whenever I remember too so it's not very consistant.
 

Steve23

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Start a kegel routine with reverse kegels, read up on edging, also breathing techniques.
With edging over time you lower your stimulation but keep your erection.
 

OldRocker

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km0,

Keep up a steady practice and believe that you will improve your situation. I know how you feel and it's terribly fustrating but don't give up trying. Once you begin to see results it will push you forward and they arrive fairly quickly. Hidden in every session is a seed that will sprout for the next session.

At your level of intensity it sounds like you might benefit from practicing some arousal techniques. Take a look here and see if any of this appeals to you: https://www.pegym.com/forums/premature-ejaculation-forum/27984-arousal-techniques.html

Best of luck on your journey. Practice, work at it and enjoy the ride!
 

km0

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Pegasus,

I read the first 3 pages of Implications and I must say that this is exactly my problem.

From reading through the post, I discovered that there are not contractions of the PC muscle during sex and that is exactly what is happening to me during sex.
With every pump, my body uncontrollably kegels and stays contracted. Therefore, after about 3 pumps, my PC muscles are fully contracted without me being aware and therefore results me to prematurely come.

I am very excited to begin a reverse kegel routine. However, I feel like I am incorrectly doing RK (reverse kegels). From searches of different threads, the reverse kegel is described as "pushing out a fart". However, I do not feel like what I am doing is targeting the relaxation of the PC muscle.

I would like to note that when I have a strong erection, locating the PC muscle and "feeling" the muscle with my mind is a little more easier and I feel like I have a slight control of relaxing a muscle.

I would also like to further verify that the Implications post is very accurate (at least for me) because when I have sex drunk or stoned, I've noticed that my PC muscles do not contract during intercourse and allows me to actually enjoy the sensations of sex (however this does not last long as it begins to kegel uncontrollably, although it takes longer than if I was sober...About 1-2 minutes longer lol).
 

Pegasus

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This is a common issue . A problem with doing reverse kegels is the way they feel. Actually when you pee hard you are doing a reverse kegel . Now no one says relax out a piss ,they say push out a piss, because this is how it feels
 

km0

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Okay,

Then what you describe as RK is what I am doing. Does that mean I hold my breath also and also flex my abs? Is this right? I do this for what...5 seconds, relax, and repeat?

Thanks a lot for your help!
 

Pegasus

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You should work towards being able to isolate rk .
kegels and rk duting intercorse should be under your control.
 

actionbuddy

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Gotta say, it's really cool to be able to talk about this stuff without embarrassment here. Thanks, guys!
 

srsmokealot09

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So far after doing PE for a few months i have been able to go from a couple minutes to basically when i want, and my dick is getting bigger. So my answer for you is a solid routine involving stretches, jelqs, edging, and kegels. Definitely doesn't happen over night, but i think that'S the best part!

Your Questions:

1. Yes sex feels phenomenal. You have probably been jerking it to porn and blowing your load as soon as you can for too long. Kegels are impulsive and uncontrollable when you have not trained your PC muscles and your dick.

2. For me now... kegels are manual until i reach the PONR and they become out of my control. Through training you learn to relax kegels and arousal level and the feeling becomes natural more than sensual.

3. I'm guessing your high on pain killers or MDMA when this occurs and those both make your dick a lot less sensitive and almost numb feeling. It's also a lot harder to get a good boner on pills and sh*t. Through training you will be able to control your dick as if you were on pills. But you'll be sober and have a raging hard on :)

4. Edging helps your body to slowly become more comfortable with the feeling of stimulation. It's all mental. I cant get technical i just know it works. Same concept for running a marathon. Today you might not be able to make it a mile.... but with some good training you can work your way up to that marathon.

Hope this helps i was in your boat, unhappy with my sex because i wanted to last longer. Now im lasting longer and my cock keeps growing and its only gonna get better. Good LUck
 
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Going411x7

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You mention being "drunk or stoned." I bet my bottom dollar that this is your source of PE. Think long and hard (excuse the pun) about it, man. I would hazard to guess that
if you left that stuff alone, your PE would improve quite quickly.
 

km0

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Thanks for all the help guys! Especially you, srsmokealot09, it was very motivating to hear that you have improved and my problem is not permanent (although it will take dedication to get there!)

It's really nice to feel welcomed to a safe environment to talk about issues that you would normally not talk about. That is why I really appreciate this forum.

Would you say that edging while trying not to kegal would be a good starting point?

I don't know if I should do kegel exercises since my problem is that I have uncontrollable kegel flexing. (When I masturbate and I feel the muscle between my balls and anus, they flex everytime I move along the ridges on the head of my penis.)
 

Pegasus

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Trying to relax kegel area is ok as a starting point.
Can you do reverse kegel?
 

km0

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Trying to relax kegel area is ok as a starting point.
Can you do reverse kegel?

I mean I think so but I'm not exactly sure if I am...

When I pee and force it out, thus increasing the strength of the stream coming out, I feel like I am doing it right. But when I am just sitting on my chair, I don't think I'm doing it right because it doesn't feel the same. Of course it's hard to tell though since I have the peeing sensation along with the reverse kegel.



Sometimes if I really focus on the muscle between my balls and anus, I feel like there is the slightest relaxation of a specific muscle but I don't know..It is very slight, like 10% feeling.
 

Pegasus

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Many guys feel like this, keep working at it.
 

km0

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You made a lot of good points, but, then you throw this is there. Where did this presumption come from?

LOL I know right? I saw that and was like wtf? But he probably just misread it somehow.

And Pegasus, when you say to keep work at it, what do you refer to? The focusing on the muscle or peeing harder?
 

Pegasus

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I suspect you will be unable to relax your pelvic floor during sex or masturbation .
To be able to do so will require rehab exercise on your pelvic floor, reverse kegel is the core of this .