Initially I thought that my PE was caused mentally. I would get extremely aroused at the sights and sounds of my GF. I have been focusing on relaxing lately and don't much mental stuff get to me. I still have terrible ejaculatory control though because of the sensitivity in the head of my penis. Just pinching it semi-flaccid will cause an involuntary kegal. So does stroking it with only my thumb and pointer finger during edging. I also catch myself doing involuntary kegals throughout the day while doing things like laughing, sneezing, etc. So now that I have worked on my mental capacity, how do I begin working on curing my involuntary kegals?
How to determine if your PE is physical or mental?
- Thread starter IntheTallgrass
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Hi InTheTallGrass!
Based on what you're writing I think your PE is both physical and mental.
What are you doing now to get the mental part under control? How do you relax? And what do you do during sex to relax? It's important to stay relaxed during sex or it's no good.
As for the physical part: start doing kegel exercises. Learning to control those muscles can help you prevent the involuntary kegels as well as tackle the physical part of PE. Check out this post by imac if you haven't already. It will help you!
Good luck!
Glenn
Based on what you're writing I think your PE is both physical and mental.
What are you doing now to get the mental part under control? How do you relax? And what do you do during sex to relax? It's important to stay relaxed during sex or it's no good.
As for the physical part: start doing kegel exercises. Learning to control those muscles can help you prevent the involuntary kegels as well as tackle the physical part of PE. Check out this post by imac if you haven't already. It will help you!
Good luck!
Glenn
It's probably both. You'll need to battle your prem ej on two fronts. At first this sounds daunting, but consider it a chance to improve as twice the normal pace.
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This is exactly what I have suffered for years. Few years back every one used to talk about kegal for lasting long. I did kegal exercises but it only made it worse.
Only following techniques are working for me now:
1. Edging with tight grip ... when I got started with this, every pump or stroke was a kegal. I remember in the first couple of sessions, I had to do a lot of reverse kegal+kegal to just to push the PONR back. Then session after session I found my sensitivity getting reduced. After 2-3 weeks, touch feelings were totally changed and involuntary kegal thing was 90% fixed.
2. Then I got introduced to Reverse kegal combined with deep breaths. I do it throughout the day now. Just after doing this for a month or so I don't feel involuntary kegal now. My first PONR now comes after 10-20 minutes and I manage to last 30-40 minutes with continuous stroking with the tight grip. Now I don't have to reverse kegal frequently during my edging sessions.
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That sounds great, congratulations. It gives me some hopes. But how do you translate this improvements to intercouse with woman, any improvement? did you try?
Thanks
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Just 3 weeks back I tried sex and lasted for 5-6 minutes or so and I felt the involuntary kegal again and again. Being a few pumps man in the past, it was a progress but it reminded me to work more and more ...
Last week I did sex again but applied some desensitizing spray on the head (to not disappoint my partner this time). I went for more than half an hour and my woman was more than satisfied.
As my progress is going, I am confident that within couple of weeks, I will be able to do sex without desensitizing spray etc. and I will be able to last enough time to at least get started with the real thing to practice with.
Last evening my edging session went for 40 minutes or so without any PONR and the stroke rate was quite high (2 strokes per second). Thanks to the revers kegal thing. Just hoping for the best.
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Thanks Sameel, i wish i can have the same improvement... for me 5 minutes now seems imposible.. i just hope not to have primary or irreversible premature ejaculation. I read today about surgery for PE.
I don't think there is anything like Primary or Irreversible Premature Ejaculation. Yes, genes do play a part in it but nobody is born with this condition. Rushing to PONR's as a teenager and watching excessive porn at a young age are the main culprits. So, don't loose hope! It is a process of reversing bad habits on both physiological as well as psychological fronts.
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jaqc, I can understand the frustration, I am in my 40's and have suffered this since my adolescence. I tried desensitizing spray and it worked for some years. Then later on these seized to work and I started coming even with the numb penis. I tried SSRI and other stuff (like Viagra for a year or so but at the end of the day it took off my libido, erections and cum and general feeling of well being. Finally I got rid off everything. I did a lot of research and came to know that only cure for me is the behavioral methods. When I discovered PEGYM, I tried slow edging and within a month or so I was able to see some progress. But frankly, it took me a lot of time to understand the pelvic floor balance, and got introduced to reverse kegal and deep breathing. Following thread is very helpful. Please read it.
https://www.pegym.com/forums/premature-ejaculation-forum/42035-confusion-reverse-kegels.html
The thing which we call now reverse kegal, kegal and deep breathing etc., is very ancient (though terminology is quite different) and has been part of religious text for centuries. For example yoga, tantra etc. The point I am making is that we need to focus a lot more on pelvic floor balance through stretches, reverse kegal and deep breathing.
Additional Measures:
Another study shows that almost all premature ejaculators are deficient in magnesium. And you know almonds (which are rich in magnesium and other minerals) had been essential part of every male sexual preparation/medicine in the eastern medicine. Now I understand why a lot of guys (specially wrestlers) here in the sub-continent eat a lot of almonds + butter + milk daily. It simply increases the hormones. Almost 400 process in our body depend of magnesium alone. So start eating almonds daily with vitamin-b complex to get them absorbed better in the blood.
Folic Acid for iron deficiency is also prescribed often to females but not to males. I am taking this almost daily for a couple of months. All these additional measures has increased my libido and cum volume and STRESS and refractory period is reduced much.
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