Ladies, what do you think truthfully about a man in his 20's who has zero experience with women? I mean zero, never been on a date nor had a random kiss from a drunk girl, nothing. What advice would you give this guy? Guys, ya'll can give me advice too if ya want. Thanks.
Guy who has zero experience
- Thread starter amiok
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What are you waiting for? What do you have to lose? Rejection? Lol you only live once my friend, the world is yours. Take it by the horns
Well, rejection is definitely part of it, but not all. It's not just that I'm afraid to look stupid, it's how I've been messed with by girls so I "know" that they don't like me. And now being a 23 year old guy with 0 experience, well that doesn't help matters either.
The one time I tried to ask a girl out she rejected me before i could get the words out of my mouth. Like she knew where I was going and made up some bs story. I guess she didn't want to hurt my feelings by actually rejecting me, since we were "friends", so she cut me off at the pass.
But yea that is a major part of my problem never asking a girl out.
Batwoman
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Well then, that is what you need to work on. Don't obsess over your lack of experience, and don't go into dating expecting sex or a life-changing relationship. Take things one at a time -- make your first goal just to go on a date. Find a girl that seems nice, and ask her out. If it would make you feel more relaxed, start small -- ask someone out for coffee. If you want to go bigger, ask her out to a movie. Don't expect more than an outing and some conversation, and don't put pressure on either yourself or her for more. Concentrate on just having fun.
You have to start somewhere, and you are going to be turned down by some girls, no doubt about it. EVERYONE gets turned down sometimes. Don't take it personally, just try again. You can do this!
You have to start somewhere, and you are going to be turned down by some girls, no doubt about it. EVERYONE gets turned down sometimes. Don't take it personally, just try again. You can do this!
i had a similar problem years back.But then i just stopped carring i.e. i didnt give a flying fu*k.I was single what do i have to lose?It worked.
However if you get rejected by 10-15 girls then you are doing something wrong.Do you train?
However if you get rejected by 10-15 girls then you are doing something wrong.Do you train?
Yea, I've been told that a lot recently. And I know it's true but when I think of trying to talk to a girl, or even ask them out, I just remember what girls said and did to me over the past 8 years. To clarify, I do know that not all women are like that, just what is implanted in my mind.
But also, what would you personally think about a guy who had no experience trying to go out with you?
Train meaning workout? If so, yes. I've dropped about 70 pounds in the last 4 years.
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i wouldn't have a problem with you having zero girl experience ... the only thing that might cause a problem is if you have zero confidence in yourself...i don't mind shy and awkward but the guy has to have inner confidence ..that confidence doesn't have to be with the opposite sex it has to be with himself, in other areas of life.
You also have the option of walking around parties telling women you're a virgin. If you can follow that up with a conversation I promise you're golden.
Zero confidence. I'm used to being the fat kid. The kid who girls like to screw with or use. Had girls tell me point blank I'm ugly, for no reason what so ever.
Being used to it is terrible because I'm not fat anymore really, and no one dares say anything to me. Not trying to sound like I'm a hardass there its just the truth. I've even had girls seem interested recently, but I don't have the guts to make a move because what if they are just trying to play me like back in high school?
But it's good to know that my lack of experience wouldn't be that big of a deal.
Hell it couldn't hurt, could it? I know some girls are into that, just make sure you don't catch anything from them
Hell it couldn't hurt, could it? I know some girls are into that, just make sure you don't catch anything from them
I really have to try that I guess haha.
The key to this for you is indeed confidence and time. Like Batwoman said, start off with small goals. It might help to tell yourself you don't have to sleep with/kiss the next attractive woman as I'm sure you're putting pressure on yourself to prove your worth to yourself that way on some subconscious level.
In fact why not just try and make her genuinely smile and laugh, then move on from there with improve or try something slightly different with each women you meet or run into like playful teasing and banter. You're going to see plenty fish in your life and if you give off warmth as a person some of them will swim towards you.
One allusion I've also heard is that acquiring confidence is basically like turning a very large heavy dial by hand. You can only turn it a little bit each time, one experience (good and bad) at a time and slowly. If you try turn it all the way to 'superstar' quickly you're going to come short and get hurt/upset. But if you're patient and build on top of each experience and lesson it'll come.
Maybe you've realised too now that that heavy dial is your own personal psyche.
Don't devalue yourself either because if you don't place any store in your self worth how will a woman see it in you? The thing is also that you need to find that within yourself - women are not going to give it to you and it's not fair to them to think they might do so. But as you get older you might be surprised to find out how much you're overrating others at your own expense. I did that.
I also went through the school of hard knocks and I was initially terrible but it does get better, really much better over time. If you're positive and keep working on it even when it gets tough you'll pull through.
In fact why not just try and make her genuinely smile and laugh, then move on from there with improve or try something slightly different with each women you meet or run into like playful teasing and banter. You're going to see plenty fish in your life and if you give off warmth as a person some of them will swim towards you.
One allusion I've also heard is that acquiring confidence is basically like turning a very large heavy dial by hand. You can only turn it a little bit each time, one experience (good and bad) at a time and slowly. If you try turn it all the way to 'superstar' quickly you're going to come short and get hurt/upset. But if you're patient and build on top of each experience and lesson it'll come.
Maybe you've realised too now that that heavy dial is your own personal psyche.
Don't devalue yourself either because if you don't place any store in your self worth how will a woman see it in you? The thing is also that you need to find that within yourself - women are not going to give it to you and it's not fair to them to think they might do so. But as you get older you might be surprised to find out how much you're overrating others at your own expense. I did that.
I also went through the school of hard knocks and I was initially terrible but it does get better, really much better over time. If you're positive and keep working on it even when it gets tough you'll pull through.
Don't let your past control your future. U get rejected. You move on. Learn from it. Try a new approach. Go to a club and talk to 10 girls. Up your odds. 1 out of 10 might say yes. If not. After 10 rejections it will be a piece of cake to deal with. Then your confidence will come from being use to it. Jeez use a rejection as an opener.
Well, I have done that before. Actually had a girl in my class last year who I was almost positive liked me, I used to bust her proverbial balls all the time, and she ate it up. But I never made that next move to ask her out or anything for two reasons.
1. My lack of confidence, even thought I girl I knew liked me would turn me down.
2. The only reason I even really dug her at all was because I knew she liked me. I didn't want to be like that, pretty much just try to use her because I can't get someone else. Yea, I'm too nice.
Sleep with a hooker. Then have a short chat afterwards. You'll notice it's a lot easier to talk to girls when you are no longer a virgin.
