friendzone question

[Drl]

How can you guys not see what BW is saying?? I could be horribly wrong or spot on , but this is my take on it from BW's input , I am just translating it to "man talk"

Lets say you go to a party and you introduce BW to the guys . It is HOW you introduce her to the guys that defines your relationship with her. If you say this is BW a girl I know, that means she is just a friend and she is free game anyone can flirt and stuff with her. However introduce her as : This is BW she is my girlfriend , then you are letting the guys know , not only who she is but your relationship with her, and that should be a clear signal that she is in a relationship with you, so other guys need to respect that and her. If you introduce her as your date for the night that means you are hoping that there your relationship has just started and that she is with you.

It is what you say and how you say it that defines the relantionship and it boundaries to the people you are introducing the person to.

 

[funkylemonade]

^ OK I see what you're saying... In my case I had been sleeping with a girl for a very short period of time, only been hanging out with her for a few weeks. I'm not into labels and nothing was serious yet. She had a few friends over from HS (whom Im sure she slept with prior to meeting me) and I guess based on her behavior, the other guys in the room asked if we were dating, I replied no because I at that point It was new and fresh and I didn't really consider it anything. She played it off cool, but then gave me a lecture a day later. If you tell them were not dating, there going to try and hook up with me! Regardless I should have taken the hint then that she wasn't good news, being that, to me it seemed like just a casual thing and the ratio of guys:girls was off at this little get together. If all these guys she grew up with immediately start flirting with her, what impression does this leave with me? She's easy.

 

[DemOne]

How can you guys not see what BW is saying?? I could be horribly wrong or spot on , but this is my take on it from BW's input , I am just translating it to "man talk"

Lets say you go to a party and you introduce BW to the guys . It is HOW you introduce her to the guys that defines your relationship with her. If you say this is BW a girl I know, that means she is just a friend and she is free game anyone can flirt and stuff with her. However introduce her as : This is BW she is my girlfriend , then you are letting the guys know , not only who she is but your relationship with her, and that should be a clear signal that she is in a relationship with you, so other guys need to respect that and her. If you introduce her as your date for the night that means you are hoping that there your relationship has just started and that she is with you.

It is what you say and how you say it that defines the relantionship and it boundaries to the people you are introducing the person to.

That's completely different from being friend zoned.

 

[someone_like_u]

Alright, Peg, here's my take. There's the women, like Bw, suggested, that will introduce you to her friends(ones I consider more mature), and truly wouldn't care if you dated one of her friends. These few women could possibly be lifetime friends for you and give you advise and such and are more than likely great to keep around, hang out with from time to time.

Then, there's the rest of them that friend zone you, and want to keep you at arm's reach, and they would be pissed if you started dating one of their friends. They don't want to date you, but they'd be jealous if you hooked up with a friend. Why? They're immature, you're simply there to fill a void when they're in between boyfriends, want to make a potential boyfriend jealous, etc. And if you were dating her friend, you would no longer be at her beck and call. She's prob. already told her friends all the bad qualities that made her friend zone you so they would lose any interest. These are the ones that I'd severe ties with. The girl may or may not realize that she's toying with your emotions. These are often the ones that give the true great mature women a bad rap.

I've seen some of my unmarried friends fall into both categories.

 

[somebodyelse]

Alright, Peg, here's my take. There's the women, like Bw, suggested, that will introduce you to her friends(ones I consider more mature), and truly wouldn't care if you dated one of her friends. These few women could possibly be lifetime friends for you and give you advise and such and are more than likely great to keep around, hang out with from time to time.

Then, there's the rest of them that friend zone you, and want to keep you at arm's reach, and they would be pissed if you started dating one of their friends. They don't want to date you, but they'd be jealous if you hooked up with a friend. Why? They're immature, you're simply there to fill a void when they're in between boyfriends, want to make a potential boyfriend jealous, etc. And if you were dating her friend, you would no longer be at her beck and call. She's prob. already told her friends all the bad qualities that made her friend zone you so they would lose any interest. These are the ones that I'd severe ties with. The girl may or may not realize that she's toying with your emotions. These are often the ones that give the true great mature women a bad rap.

I've seen some of my unmarried friends fall into both categories.

This is EXACTLY it SLU...

There's only... hmm... 3 or 4 women I've known that we both mutually friendzoned on layers that particularly mattered. She'd hook me up with girls she knew and I'd hook her up with guys I knew. It wasn't a tit-for-tat thing...

but that's a VERY special relationship and I only managed to have one, in all my college years. For the most part, if there's no sexual chemistry between me and a girl, and/or she decides to "friendzone" me, I move on immediately without a second though. number erased and name forgotten. It's a one way street with those kinds of relationships because they really just want to use the guy.

But I do understand there are some genuinely good female friends and I'm lucky to have a few, now. maybe 3 or 4 now (acquired them by accident). It's nice to have some friends that will hook you up with women they know.

 

[TheSnitch]

I'm still very much a novice in the matters, but I'm wondering if the best way to stay out of the friend zone is to simply friend zone all the women you meet.

Treat them like a guy friend, talk to them about the hot chicks that pass you by at the mall, or in a restaurant and sexual experiences. Talk to them as you would a friend about the things they won't get to experience with you. This will either cause you to actually end up with just a friend, which is still nice, or a girl who wishes (secretly or openly) that you talked about her like you do other girls.

The trick is to not only have one of these girls but many, and before you know it no matter where you go you will be somewhere will a good looking girls. And, as we all know the best way to pick up chicks is by having a hot girl with you.

This is a thought and in no way put into practice, but I am currently building my girl "friend zone", just not sure if it will work.

 

[BigO]

Ahhh, the difference between being freind zoned by a female and having a female freind. Two completely seperate things. I have great female freinds but if a female I am trying to get with were to "freind zone" me then I would not hang out with her.

 

[somebodyelse]

I'm still very much a novice in the matters, but I'm wondering if the best way to stay out of the friend zone is to simply friend zone all the women you meet.

Treat them like a guy friend, talk to them about the hot chicks that pass you by at the mall, or in a restaurant and sexual experiences. Talk to them as you would a friend about the things they won't get to experience with you. This will either cause you to actually end up with just a friend, which is still nice, or a girl who wishes (secretly or openly) that you talked about her like you do other girls.

The trick is to not only have one of these girls but many, and before you know it no matter where you go you will be somewhere will a good looking girls. And, as we all know the best way to pick up chicks is by having a hot girl with you.

This is a thought and in no way put into practice, but I am currently building my girl "friend zone", just not sure if it will work.

Actually... That is exactly my life LMAO!

I try to treat all women equally. hot girls, and otherwise. One of my friends once said "DAMN dude, you know ALL the cute girls." I try not to talk about any relationship issues with women, because i don't want that door opened, but other stuff, yea. General conversation, etc. They're cool, they don't get hugs, they get "pounds" and/or handshakes until they want a hug.

I did that to one girl she was like "wtf, I'm not a dude, give me a hug!!" so she grabbed me and hugged me... One of the girls that guys could never figure out how to get into. Treat all women like they're not special and they'll want to be special! Some women are worth treating special and those are the ones you treat special

 

[someone_like_u]

And just because you're friend zoned doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or her even. More than likely, for her, there's no chemistry, but you're just a really all around great guy/friend. Just like somebodyelse said, she'll hook you up and you can do the same for her.

 

[TheSnitch]

I think the idea that there is no way out of the "friend zone" or that women decide within the first 5 seconds if they will sleep with you, is bullshit. Women change their minds just like everyone else, the reasoning's behind them changing their minds is unknown and most likely caused by the phase of the moon - but it is possible you just have to give them a reason to see you differently and with any double edged sword, the more you try to give reason, the less they will be convinced.

Women want what they can't have, but when they have what they want - are generally unsatisfied.


*not trying to lady bash - but if you think I am let me know and I'll tone it down.

 

[someone_like_u]

I think the idea that there is no way out of the "friend zone" or that women decide within the first 5 seconds if they will sleep with you, is bullshit. Women change their minds just like everyone else, the reasoning's behind them changing their minds is unknown and most likely caused by the phase of the moon - but it is possible you just have to give them a reason to see you differently and with any double edged sword, the more you try to give reason, the less they will be convinced.

Women want what they can't have, but when they have what they want - are generally unsatisfied.


*not trying to lady bash - but if you think I am let me know and I'll tone it down.

I get what you're saying, women do change their minds, and sometimes we may think something out there may/may not be better. However, men do the same thing.

If you've been friend zoned, move on, please don't waste your time trying to win her over. The end result is the guy being emotionally invested in a girl that clearly wasn't attracted /interested in a relationship with you in the first place. There is only a slim chance that in the end, she change her mind and fall head over heels in love with you. Either just be friends or move on.

Snitch, this isn't directed at you, but all guys that may find themselves in this situation.

 

[Pegasus]

This is EXACTLY it SLU...

There's only... hmm... 3 or 4 women I've known that we both mutually friendzoned on layers that particularly mattered. She'd hook me up with girls she knew and I'd hook her up with guys I knew. It wasn't a tit-for-tat thing...

but that's a VERY special relationship and I only managed to have one, in all my college years. For the most part, if there's no sexual chemistry between me and a girl, and/or she decides to "friendzone" me, I move on immediately without a second though. number erased and name forgotten. It's a one way street with those kinds of relationships because they really just want to use the guy.

But I do understand there are some genuinely good female friends and I'm lucky to have a few, now. maybe 3 or 4 now (acquired them by accident). It's nice to have some friends that will hook you up with women they know.

You are very fortunate to have had positive experiences with friendzone. However as the thread suggests, I didn't even know that a girl who friendzoned anyone have ever hooked them up. It certainly never happened to me.

 

[Pegasus]

And just because you're friend zoned doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or her even. More than likely, for her, there's no chemistry, but you're just a really all around great guy/friend. Just like somebodyelse said, she'll hook you up and you can do the same for her.

Never even heard of a friendzoner hooking you up till somebodyelses post, as per thread title.
As per your post 31 my advice is to move on.
My experience has been they are toxic to your sex life ,this thread has helped me understand how.

 

[WalrusGumBoot]

BW makes perfect sense. Hey BW, any obvious signs for us hard-headed males that we have been friendzoned?

 

[Dante311]

I've seen dating/relationship ~> friendzone ~> relationship/dating, but only after some smart "games" and a lot of time....

if you can endure the friendship for any prolonged period without becoming deeply emotionally invested anymore than you already are... you have my blessing.

 

[Rando]

I'm still very much a novice in the matters, but I'm wondering if the best way to stay out of the friend zone is to simply friend zone all the women you meet.

Treat them like a guy friend, talk to them about the hot chicks that pass you by at the mall, or in a restaurant and sexual experiences. Talk to them as you would a friend about the things they won't get to experience with you. This will either cause you to actually end up with just a friend, which is still nice, or a girl who wishes (secretly or openly) that you talked about her like you do other girls.

The trick is to not only have one of these girls but many, and before you know it no matter where you go you will be somewhere will a good looking girls. And, as we all know the best way to pick up chicks is by having a hot girl with you.

This is a thought and in no way put into practice, but I am currently building my girl "friend zone", just not sure if it will work.

I think you basically described "game" in a nutshell. Which is being around a lot of cute girls to raise your social value and make other girls want you even more and being aloof around girls and having a devil may care attitude which seems to drive them wild.

As someone else pointed out though, this isn't really "friend-zoning" b/c a lot of the chicks you are keeping as friends probably will want to bang you, I guess it's more like you friend-zoning them.

 

[ryansambas]

lol it took me about 13 months to accept I was in the friend zone and move on, although I don't think I was in the friend zone the full 13 months. I think I had an opportunity up until the end of 2010 (I only met her in November) but once it was 2011 I think it was done, even though she agreed to go out with me, nothing else happened and the second time I asked her out it went from 'yes' to 'I'll get back to you'. Even though I still liked her on and off for the rest of 2011, when I finally accepted it, I knew I wasn't going to take something from 2010 into 2012 when the answers were right in front of me. I work with her (technically) although we work different days, in December I worked with her 2 days a week due to Xmas but now we're back to normal working days except for in a couple weeks I have to work one day with her. It's how to describe how I act with her now, I talk to her but I don't want to come off as 'eager' to talk to her which I might have in the past.

Oh well, atm my only big focus is gym.

 

[DemOne]

I just saw this on facebook and well, it fits this thread perfectly.

 

[Rando]

While that comment is funny, I don't think it is entirely accurate. If you are in the "friend zone" then I don't you are completely "qualified" to either have sex with the girl in question or start a relationship, whichever the case may be. You must be lacking a certain something that the girl in question is looking for which is why she's placed you in the friend zone. The other scenario is that the girl might be a little mental and just craves an insane amount of attention and likes "friend zone"ing otherwise dateable guys b/c she likes them following her around like puppy dogs. If that is the case, be glad you got friend zoned instead of entering into a relationship with said girl and RUN!

 

[Pegasus]

So funny and so true dem ,reped.