Feeling incredibly inadequate lately

[borderlineaverage]

I always figured I'd lose my virginity in college, which I'm starting soon.

I also always figured I'd be great at sex once I get the first few quickees out of my system. IMO I've always been really good with body language, so I thought sex would come naturally to me. I'd been planning and visualizing for years every single thing I would do to drive the girl nuts... the specific way I would touch her, look at her, talk to her, tease her, etc. All of these little subtle nuances I had spinning in my head that would make the experience for her pleasurable and wanting to come back for more.

And like a lot of guys who are planning on having sex soon for the first time, I just now started looking at a bunch of stuff about penis size, and my desire to do the above things to a girl is pretty much gone. I feel like the entire act of sex and my would-be performance has been reduced to the size of my penis. In high school I always thought that penis size was just a topic of humor for boys to rib on each other. I never thought that the size of a dude's dick was THAT important unless you have a micropenis. But apparently like half or more of these chicks are more concerned with the fact that my penis is under six inches than they are about anything I'd be willing to do for them.

My thoughts about being an attentive lover are now replaced with this image of getting a girl all worked up only to drop my pants and disappoint her with my penis that's 5 inches in length and 4.5-4.6 inches in girth. Wtf. Why me? Oh, and since on a ruler I'm about a dash above the 5 inch mark in length fully erect, I can just see a girl looking at me when I'm semi-erect and incorrectly scoping that out to be the size of my erect penis, which would put me at like a whopping 4.5-4.8" if she did that. She'll look at me before I'm even at 100% erection level and forever have that image in her head as what the size of my dick is. If they think that a flaccid penis is a sure-fire indicator of erect length, then what's to stop them from incorrectly mistaking a semi-erect dick from a fully erect one? I think about that ALL THE TIME.

It feels like these "size matters" girls have taken something that was supposed to be fun and turned it into something for me to stress out about... which incidentally is what women do with a lot of things that are supposed to be fun. Fuckin' A.

And please don't take too much offense to that last line, ladies. I'm just venting right now after having it stored in and being way too embarrassed to share this with anyone in real life. I don't hate women and am in fact pathetically looking for some encouragement from the opposite sex, hence posting in this section.

Thanks for reading if you did.

 

[amiok]

Me too man. I'm 23 going to graduate college and still have kept it in my pants because of my lack of size. You definitely aren't that bad, there are many dudes about the same as you.

 

[cameraobscura]

Hi there!

Who are these chicks you're talking about in the second paragraph? Did they do something hurtful?

 

[borderlineaverage]

Hi there!

Who are these chicks you're talking about in the second paragraph? Did they do something hurtful?

I just googled stuff that would lead to female comments about penis size. I don't count sites that are trying to advertise enlargement products either. I mostly looked at forums and whatnot. It's not like I want to be having this conversation in real life. It just seems like the consensus is that 5 inches is either the bare minimum you can possibly be to still be "acceptable," OR it's too small. And I'm not comfortable constantly wondering which girl is going to think it's small and which girl is going to think it's average.

 

[TTBB]

DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU SEE AND READ ON THOSE SITES, 80% of those statements are made because they are selling something 20% of those comments are made by dumb ass people who are out to hurt or need to bring other people down to make themselves feel good
There is nothing inadequate about the size of your cock!
and believe me when i say, when you are getting it on with a girl esp in those first moments of hooking up, there mind is not thinking about size, they are thinking about the sensations that are going through their body (and their own insecurities about there sexual abilities and body)...
Do not hesitate or apologize for your size, sex is not just about cock, and you do not need more then what you got to get a woman off.

 

[Jama]

Hey bro please do yourself a favor and not worry too much about it.. I'm only 5 inches(nbpel) and I please my girl a Ton! She's even pretty sore an often has to use Vaseline to walk around right after sex.. But if u worry about size alot you'll cause a serious of awful things like premature ejac., performance anxiety, and lack of confidence in which girls won't be attracted to you! Just start now with a solid program like JPs 90 day and in 3 months you'll hve started your onward journey to a better life
best of luck!

 

[borderlineaverage]

Thanks. I keep trying to remember that 5-7" is considered average and that I should just think about other things, but it's difficult knowing that you are smack dab on the borderline. I don't know what's the cut-off for being considered average for girth but I know that being a wee bit over 4.5 isn't exactly thick.

 

[robertocanza]

Thanks. I keep trying to remember that 5-7" is considered average and that I should just think about other things, but it's difficult knowing that you are smack dab on the borderline. I don't know what's the cut-off for being considered average for girth but I know that being a wee bit over 4.5 isn't exactly thick.

5'' is average... and 4.5 is average too. There are 5 guys in 100 with a 7'' penis.
Your 5 inches penis is average, not small.
A girl should fuck 20 guys to find a 7 inches penis, but every 3-4 guys she will find a 5 inches.
Your size is perfectly normal.

Writing that 5-7'' (2 inches interval!) is considered average is like writing that the average human height is 5-7'...

 

[cameraobscura]

Thought so! The internet...
My friend, you have simply put way, way, way too much stock in what people say in internet forums and sex forums and such... I had too much free time this summer, so I cruised around a bit online, and read a lot of that stuff. It's just... meaningless rambling... its not real, it's not...
Just a handful of people with a size fetish posting away online... real sex is not like that.

I suggest listening to TTBB...

4.5" girth? That's fine man... Perfectly normal...

 

[TTBB]

I agree with paradoxfix.. you should totally listen to TTBB

 

[Letitride]

You need to go out and get yours , Dont worry about what you dont have , start looking at what you do have.

 

[Batwoman]

Great advice here. You are a perfectly good size, just relax and go enjoy yourself. If you want to PE to get larger, fine -- do it. But don't think you have to be bigger to have great sex and please a lady!

 

[Riotz69]

hey bro no worries! 5 inch is perfectly normal ;D and your girth is normal too bro, i can see your desire though haha, im the same way (; normal, but fuck normal ya know? you want a little something extra so when u drop your pants her jaw drops too =] hahah just keep working at it and stay dedicated and you can do it now problem (=

 

[More]

Dude let it go quickly...No matter what size you are, you can become what you were presenting early in your post. My advice to any and every guy I talk to about sex is always be YOU. Be personal and don't focus on being the best or if you'll be the worst. Who you are is no one else and YOUR sex should be personal to you. If you get on this quest to be better or whatever you want to call it you will fall further away from being you. I don't mean don't improve yourself for yourself but to become a better you because you want to. Their is only one you and when you have sex it should reflect your personal as I already said. Not to brag at all but when I have sex I leave whomever it is without thought of if i was her best or just average or blah blah blah. she can't equate anything or anybody to me because their is only one me. If sex was better it was my better not just better sex.Get my point? There are guys who can fuck at extremely high levels taking women to their highest peaks of pleasure. Me though I'm uncharted no level or anything just me. So when I leave she can't compare me to anyone, her best or worst. Be personal!To speak on the dick size thing...For some women it's visual perception. If your 5 looks like 7, what then? are you happy with being 5in? A 7in dick on a skinny body looks massive a 5in on a skinny body looks big. Now put that 7in on a 350lbs fat guy it will looks small. Put a 5in on a 350lbs guy it looks micro. I hope that had some clarity.

 

[borderlineaverage]

Thanks everybody. I've just been looking at some really daunting comments from both men and women. I should definitely stop. What makes my jaw drop sometimes is comments from guys saying sh*t like "I let my wife go out and fuck guys with big penises." I've seen a lot of those. That cannot possibly be normal and is not reflective of the average relationship. I think people with strange "cuckolding" fetishes often seek out sites about penis size, so that might be why I've been seeing so much of that.

Anyway, I truly appreciate you guys saying I'm average and really hope when it's time for that first girl to see my stuff she thinks it's a regular looking penis. Then I can focus on the more important aspects of sex. Five inches is proportionate to my body type too, so that's something.

 

[vulcan]

I am glad you have had some good advice to act as an antidote to some of the stuff you have been looking at on-line borderlineaverage, all of which is very damaging for all parties involved & can give anyone a warped vision of reality.

Hopefully now, if you decide to do PE - you can do it with a positive mind-set, based on self improvement for the right reasons.

 

[kelthuzad1986]

There are two things you need to know my friend.

1). Your dick is fine for sex.

2). In many cases, bigger is better.

Most guys are average. Most women enjoy sex just fine with an average dick. Most women would enjoy it more with a bigger one.

What I'm trying to say is that you can reach your goals of having a longer and thicker tool but until then, what you currently have is just fine to get the job done.

 

[bgstick18]

It's amazing how confidence makes your penis "grow". Your size is just fine bro, your in the right place to ENHANCE what you have already been given. If all she cares about is your weiner anyway, she's not the girl for you!

 

[Tylerdurden46]

OP,

Mate, insecurity isn't just confined to guys with dicks that are average or below average. By any measure I'm big (8" BPEL), but that doesn't stop me wanting to be the biggest my gf has ever had and having negative and destructive thoughts about this issue. I don't know whether I am or not, all I know is that she's told me that she's had one well-endowed lover before me (who, incidentally, she says was a lousy lay due to him being cold and boring in bed), but she hasn't said whether he was bigger or smaller than me. So, my friend, unless your dick is utterly monstrous (ie: 9"+), the insecurties don't magically disappear, it is simply that the parameters of those hang-ups change. It's the modern male dilemma I'm afraid, which has largely come about or at least been amplified by the universal availability of porn and a more vocal and strident element in the young female population, IMHO.

Based on my extensive viewing of amateur webcams (ie: ordinary people just doing it for fun), a 5 incher is: (a) a very common size, (b) more than capable of doing the job, (c) perfectly acceptable to some very hot chicks (in fact, the most beautiful girl I ever saw on those sites had a bf who looked to be about your size).

Just get out there and give it a go. Or, perhaps wait until you've given PE a chance to kick in, and then go and get among 'em. Another point to consider is that you may be a slow-burner like I was. At age 19, (20 years ago) I was about an inch shorter than I am now, and I didn't achieve my full size until my late twenties, perhaps even into my early 30s.

 

[GTO]

Tyler makes a good point - no matter what size you are, there's just something in us guys that want bigger, better, etc ... if not, we wouldn't be here t the Gym!

Go get laid and just have fun!! Believe me - once you cum, size will be the last thing on your mind!