How do you define cheating? Obviously if you have any kind of sex with someone other than your partner that is cheating. But do you consider looking at porn on the Internet, etc to be cheating? In your opinion, is cheating just physical interaction or can a person cheat in other ways?
Cheating?
- Thread starter Nikki
- Start date
Watching porn is NOT cheating. Although I barely ever watch it these days, to me is just nothing more than another source of stimuli to bring the boys some relief from excessive build-up of manjuice. There's no doubt that porn can have a detrimental effect if not kept in check, but in my opinion, it's NOT cheating at all.
A lot has been said about many forms of cheating, but I think that the one and only line that divides cheating from not, is physical contact; from simple fondling and petting and everything that can be done on the road to having actual intercourse, the meeting of the flesh is where cheating occurs.
A lot has been said about many forms of cheating, but I think that the one and only line that divides cheating from not, is physical contact; from simple fondling and petting and everything that can be done on the road to having actual intercourse, the meeting of the flesh is where cheating occurs.
Although I consider physical interaction with another person to be cheating, I consider spiritual/psychological interaction to be a lot worse.
JonPop
Retired Sr. Administrator , PEGym Hero
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2008
- Messages
- 16,754
- Reaction score
- 500
- Points
- 0
- Location
- Reunited with his dear wife Holly.
O.K. Guys, put the shoe on the other foot.
How would you feel if your SO was looking at male porn? Would you feel that this would be cheating?
How would you feel if your SO was looking at male porn? Would you feel that this would be cheating?
MrBigDick
Retired Moderator, PEGym Hero
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2009
- Messages
- 11,313
- Reaction score
- 260
- Points
- 0
- Age
- 55
- Location
- Wherever I choose to be.....
I'd have to agree with some of the sentiments above. Porn is NOT cheating. My girl knows I look at it and doesn't have a problem at all with it, in fact, she expects it by virture of the fact that I'm a guy. If she wanted to look at naked guys fucking other chicks, it wouldn't bother me at all. That wouldn't happen as my girl is a bit more of an old fashioned kind of gal where the traditional male/female roles are respected and honored (although, there are a few modern twists).
My girl does, however, consider viewing nude photos of a girl that I know of on the internet crossing the proverbial line and I almost lost her as a result of said activity. Seemed silly to me but it seriously bothered her ALOT. So, the pictures were purged from my laptop and disposed of. She sees it as if you know her and have talked to her, you've formed an emotional connection and to look at nude photos of her does constitute cheating. I don't view it that way at all but she does so to respect her wishes, I no longer engage in that activity. It's one of those things where I simply say "whatever" and I move on.
My girl does, however, consider viewing nude photos of a girl that I know of on the internet crossing the proverbial line and I almost lost her as a result of said activity. Seemed silly to me but it seriously bothered her ALOT. So, the pictures were purged from my laptop and disposed of. She sees it as if you know her and have talked to her, you've formed an emotional connection and to look at nude photos of her does constitute cheating. I don't view it that way at all but she does so to respect her wishes, I no longer engage in that activity. It's one of those things where I simply say "whatever" and I move on.
JonPop
Retired Sr. Administrator , PEGym Hero
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2008
- Messages
- 16,754
- Reaction score
- 500
- Points
- 0
- Location
- Reunited with his dear wife Holly.
You are spot on with this Veg. Having been married many, MANY, years. This is SO true.
What difference does it make how I define cheating? What really matters is what SHE considers cheating.
If you are talking about non-physical contact, then I tend to agree. In other words, if a guys has any kind of sex with someone else, that is still cheating whether she thinks so or not. However, she may or may not view looking at porn on the Internet or e-mailing someone of the opposite sex as cheating.
Spiritual, emotional and sensual betrayal of anykind. She or he can't give someone else what she/he has devoted and promised to you without it being cheating. However, if you are swingers, or alternative sex practicers and you both agree to share sex with others this would not be cheating. But if you or her are telling intimate secrets and sharing your deepest innermost thoughts with any other than your significant other that is cheating. (i.e. giving others what you should only give your S.O.) Watching porn is not cheating unless you promise them you won't do it. There has to be an emotional or spiritual flaw before physical cheating could ever take place.
Nikki I don't know why physical contact must be considered cheating. If I sleep with hookers but my signifigant other is fine with it that would not be cheating.
MrBigDick
Retired Moderator, PEGym Hero
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2009
- Messages
- 11,313
- Reaction score
- 260
- Points
- 0
- Age
- 55
- Location
- Wherever I choose to be.....
Would you really want to do that? And I'd agree, if you and your SO had an agreement that sex outside the confines of your relationship was ok, then you're right, that wouldn't be cheating.
How do you want your significant other to value you and the relationship? You should at the very least Value Your significant other and the relationship at the level you expect of them. Sometimes even just the appearance of cheating could actually be cheating (i.e. Flirting being ok but maybe flirting with a particular person in a particular way for instance) It's not hard to distinguish right from wrong. If you value someone highly enough you won't risk their favor for silly crap.
I think looking at porn while you're in a committed relationship is a form of cheating, but not nearly as serious as having physical contact or emotionally bonding with another woman. Don't feel too bad, though. Many men, including myself, have been guilty of looking at porn while having a girlfriend or being married.
However, how would you feel if you caught your wife or girlfriend masturbating to a picture of a handsome stud with an eight-inch schlong? And I'm not talking about some woman you're just banging. What I mean is if you really loved her and caught her doing that. It would hurt. What you need to do is honestly ask yourself how it would make you feel if you were in her shoes. Only you can answer that.
However, how would you feel if you caught your wife or girlfriend masturbating to a picture of a handsome stud with an eight-inch schlong? And I'm not talking about some woman you're just banging. What I mean is if you really loved her and caught her doing that. It would hurt. What you need to do is honestly ask yourself how it would make you feel if you were in her shoes. Only you can answer that.
I think you raise some good points. If you are in a serious relationship with someone, then there should always, always be communication as to what is acceptable and what is not regarding this issue of "cheating". For example, both my hubby and I agree that any kind of sex with someone else is cheating. However, if he or I looked at porn, neither of us consider that cheating. I get PMs all the time from members who flirt with me and I flirt back. My husband knows about it and doesn't have a problem as long as I don't escalate things to the next level and actually go and meet the guy. Over at Betterman's I constantly had guys who would write and tell me how they would love to fuck my brains out. And I would flirt back, also. Again, as long as it was just flirting, my hubby could care less. And if he flirted with a female on the Internet and told her how he would love to fuck her brains out, I would be okay with that, AS LONG AS he never followed up in real life. Of course, that is us. Some men and women are threatened by any type of correspondence their SO might have with someone of the opposite sex, so that is why discussions on this issue must be ongoing.
MrBigDick
Retired Moderator, PEGym Hero
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2009
- Messages
- 11,313
- Reaction score
- 260
- Points
- 0
- Age
- 55
- Location
- Wherever I choose to be.....
I find this very interesting and mainly in how this relates to my relationship with my girl. She knows I look at porn and is completely fine with it. BUT..................and yes, there is a BIG but here, if I have actually talked to the person and formed what she refers to as an "emotional bond", then a line has been crossed in her eyes and cheating has occurred.
I view the way you and your hubby do Nikki. If I told you or baybabe (if she ever comes over here) or any other female on line that I personally know that I wanted to fuck them, in Renee's eyes, I have cheated. BUT, if I'm merely looking at random porn where I obviously don't know those women from adam, then it's totally ok and almost expected because I'm a guy.
So, I refrain from making any comments like those stated above to women I might know on internet, even though I KNOW nothing would ever come from the comments. I think it really just depends on what you and your partner constitute as cheating in your relationship and further, if you value that person as your partner, having enough respect for that individual to play by the rules.
Nikki , i had a dream i was somewhere i had'nt been before. I looked down and my wifes sister was on her knee's sucking me . I look up again and i see cars driving by and people walking down the sidewalk , were on someones front porch and it isnt enclosed or private at all. Was i cheating ? And do i want to fuck her sister? Also if i had to do one of her sisters "like to save the world , the whales or for world peace " the one sucking me would be last on the list .
I would say this is not cheating. Dreaming or fantasizing about someone is one thing; trying to make it become a reality is another. If I see a member's penis at this forum and tell him how fantastic it is and how I would like to suck it and have him fuck me with it, in my husband's and my agreement, I have not cheated. If I make efforts to meet that guy, then I have crossed the line.
JonPop
Retired Sr. Administrator , PEGym Hero
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2008
- Messages
- 16,754
- Reaction score
- 500
- Points
- 0
- Location
- Reunited with his dear wife Holly.
Hey PHammer, Just how ugly IS that sister? *Hee*
I love those kinds of dreams. They make no sense but are sure fun.
I love those kinds of dreams. They make no sense but are sure fun.
