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Brian98

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Sorry im just using this to vent my frustration. So for those who have read my threads recently my girlfriend out of the blue broke up with me when i thought everything was going good once her dad was rushed to hospital and days later died of cancer. I change my relationship status, she keeps me as a friend for a few days then deletes me as a friend, i ask why, she says it's to soon to keep talking without leading me on(which she already has done once she broke up with me, from the very moment she done it) i send her a text saying i got a specific aftershave today for my christmas and it got me thinking of her, just wanted to wish her a merry christmas, so go on facebook tonight, she has blocked my account, i can't even see her account anymore, no evidence she or i ever were together or that i even existed, just got to me and im now tempted to send her a text saying something about it and threatening to put the pics vids i have of her giving me a blowjob on the internet, i just feel she is treating me like a bit of shite now after all ive done for her and im through being nice, she's being a bitch, why should'nt i be a dick to her. Gah, fucking annoying how she is treating me now, i know i did some things wrong but i apolgised and felt terrible for it, her on the other hand doesn't seem to give a sh*t, has no regret or sympothy like me and doesn't care what her actions are going to do to the person that was crazy about her!
 

Flanker6

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Hey man I've dealt with it all. Definitely know what you mean when you say you sent a harmless message in no way implying that you want to get back together but she took it the wrong way. Its all her bro. She wants to think that everything you do is going to be about her now. It just won't work being friends with her right now. She seems like she's very immature if she can't still be friends with you. But hell, if she's not there for you don't be there for her. Cut off all contact. Don't answer any texts, emails, chats, etc. Only phone calls and if you think its important. This is the best way for you to distance yourself from her because despite what you might think, you need space as well as she does. Just please promise you won't deny any other women. The best cure for me after a break up is another woman.
 

Pegasus

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Wellthe question is what would make the world a better place?

One argument is, giving negative in return for negative, just leads to more negative in the world. So take the high road etc.

The other is she is a bitch because she gets away with it. This being the case, laying some hurt on her will make her a sweeter ,better human being and make the world a better place, through having less of her negative in it.

So the question is she a general bitch or has she just done some action you don't like. Will laying some hurt on her, be a needed educational experience for her, or a vindictive act on your part?
 

Flanker6

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Wellthe question is what would make the world a better place?

One argument is, giving negative in return for negative, just leads to more negative in the world. So take the high road etc.

The other is she is a bitch because she gets away with it. This being the case, laying some hurt on her will make her a sweeter ,better human being and make the world a better place, through having less of her negative in it.

So the question is she a general bitch or has she just done some action you don't like. Will laying some hurt on her, be a needed educational experience for her, or a vindictive act on your part?

Well thats the thing is abstaining/neutrality a negative act in itself? I believe its his best option in this situation to help him get over this girl.
 

Pegasus

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I would tend to agree flanker.
 

phil88

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if the dad died within the past 6 months you need to fuck off and really look at yourself. jesus christ man. have you never had anyone die? it fucks you up way worse then having to find a new chick to blow you. i cant beleive anyone would say its all her at this point. her dad died. man up.
 

phil88

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ok i went and read your other posts and wow.....its all about you, everything you do. her dad is dying and its all about you in your mind. you dont see the problem? if she had feelings for you im sure you blew it by letting her see this side of you. if anything it probably hurt her more to realize this about you. maybe shes giving you time to grow up because right now you do nothing but cause her pain and with a recently dead parent that is the last thing anyone would want. hopefully thats what it is, and you should take the time and use it wisely. seriously have you never had anyone die before? i just cant get past the way you say you reacted and thqat you actually think she could be the problem in anyway shape or form.
 

Flanker6

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You can only be there for people who let you in. If she's closing him off he has no choice. A death in the family does not necessarily make you a mean person either I think she would have dealt with it the same way no matter what happened. It sucks and Brian has offered all of the condolences he can (based off of what I've read). My ex girlfriend lost a grandmother during our relationship and an uncle after yet she still let me console her because we were still friends. This girl has no intent on being friends with Brian so why should he be a friend to her?
 

phil88

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hes not offering condolances. he just wants to be with her. hes being very selfish and not taking what she actually wants or needs into consideration, hes just worried about losing his pussy. if he was truly trying to console her he would of left her alone and let her be. his mom and sister even told him the same thing and he still did not listen. he showed a very immature side of himself and im sure that is one of the reasons she pushed him away. and then fighting for her and telling her you love and making her feel even worse? i mean now hes putting all the pressure of the relationship on her so not only is her dad dead but your making her feel guilty at the same time. your trying to make her feel guilty for the way she reacted when her dad died, you cant see that???? leave her alone man, for both your sakes.
 

phil88

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not to mention she just lost the most important man in her life, the one who has been there her whole life. the one man a woman can truly trust and rely on. she lost that, and to console her she gets "brian" to replace him. i can easily see her not wanting any men in her life while losing her father.
 

Pegasus

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Same old positive and helpfull phil.
 

TTBB

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I do agree with phil to some degree but not with the aggression .

The way I see it was even before her fathers passing you two were having issues and arguments. When her dad started to get progressively worse she told you that she needed to focus on him and you had trouble giving her that and now he has passed and she can’t put her faith in you to not be self-motivated. Cancer is a horrible thing to have to witness one of your loved ones go through and a death of a parent no matter you age is a hard thing.
Its ok that you are frustrated but its not ok that you want to take vengeance out on her or to get nasty about things because you aren’t getting what you want and your feelings are hurt ... you have to have compassion for what she is going through and you have to respect the fact that she isn’t ready to have you in her life. Its might be because while you were with her and she was going through this emotional roller coaster with her fathers health you were maybe not very comforting and were maybe too focused on your needs and not hers so you just added drama .. she is probably wanting a drama free, complication free existence at the moment...she needs time to center herself ..she doesn't want to get your hopes up because she doesn't know what she wants at this time ..her world has been tipped upside down ..she needs to find her own footing before she can decide if she wants to dance with you.

Be angry at life.. be angry at the situation ..not at her.
 
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Pegasus

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Good post ttbb.
 

NP97

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I went through a similar situation.
My (then) girlfriends grandma died. Things started getting bad after that (I didn't notice, but looking back I can see).
I did what you did. But instead of Merry Christmas it was Happy Birthday (with a gift).
She did the same exact stuff to me. Slowly cut me outta her life.

What I wish I did was never try and talk to her again. It's the best thing you can do for you.
 

Pegasus

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Sometimes you can be pert of a bad time in someones life ;it wasn't you that caused it but they still want to leave it behind.
 

Dante311

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Hey OP -

She isn't worth this anger and frustration. Perhaps she's being sensitive to you, I know it sounds strange, but you obviously still have feelings for this girl. Trust me. When I was in your position I acted MUCH worse than you are right now! you're doing really well.... compared to me. Review my thread history... I was a little bitch.

When I say she's being sensitive... perhaps she realizes that it's best you don't keep in contact knowing you still have feelings for her nd her for you, but she realizes you can't be together for whatever reason... it'd just be cruel to keep in touch. You can't have a friendship with an ex,in my humble opinion, until you can SEE the other person kiss another and it doesn't bother EITHER of you...

...sorry OP. Stay strong and don't self-destruct! Be confident in YOU. :)

Keep going! There are so many women out there :)
 

Gyrta

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Jesus, it's just facebook.
Let her be alone, here father died.

If you are meant to be together, you will be together.
 

MrBigDick

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Seriously, leave her alone and give her space. She needs to time to grieve her loss. I lost my dad and it fucked me up for a long time afterwards and I'm a guy, women are more emotional creatures and if she was close to him and it sounds like she was, you aren't getting close to her anytime soon.

Don't post that video on the internet! THAT would be totally shitty of you. You're not giving her space and that is what she needs right now and that's why you got blocked from her facebook. Besides that, so you got blocked from her facebook...........big f'n deal......
 

boogie

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Don't post the pics or videos.
Don't threaten her about posting the pics and videos.

Whether she is legitimately hurting, or using it as a way to let you down easy, it seems pretty obvious that she doesn't want to be with you anymore, or at least right now.

Haven't you ever wanted someone to leave you alone?
 

Brian98

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It's not all as straight forward as that though, when i first met her, on my last night of my holiday we had sex, we talked for hours and i knew her dad had cancer, she told me all this. I wasn't perfect, we did argue sometimes over silly things on my part, il put my hand up at that but she also lashed out at me randomly, possibly due to how her dad was and how she was feeling, thats only my guess but ive never been one to sit back and let someone walk all over be for no actual reason just because they are in a mood. Despite all that, i was there for her all the time, it was'nt and isn't all about sex for me, i let her stay with me so she could get out her house despite my parents not really being fond of it too start with, she cried quite a few times at my place and i was there, comforting her, hugging her, telling her things were going to be ok, on one occassion i wanted some time on my own when her and her mum had an argument and she left her house, she was at her friends house but wanted to come to mines.

So im on the train home from college, she phoned me, i don't like talking on the phone while on a train so i text her asking whats up? she texts me saying "Why the fuck you not answering your phone? Ive fell out with my mum, can you come get me and il stay at yours for a bit" i text her letting her know id made plans to see and play football with my friends which i hadnt done for weeks, next thing i know im on the end of abuse, so i just told her to leave me for now, she see's her friends all the time and i hadn't seen mines for weeks, im playing my game of football. Then she has her friend texting me telling me to get her please, told her i don't want to be there while she hurls abuse at me, i would have happily got her after my game of football if she hadn't started abusing me. Despite all the times i was there for her, this one occasion was constantly brought up in our discussions when we split, she didn't bother to mention the many times i was there for her.

Then into the bargain when i asked her why we were breaking up, if it was due to the silly little arguments, which i had apoligised for and promised id stop, she hits me with this bullshit reason that it was because she felt like i was keeping her in a cage, not letting her go out with her friends and seeing me all the time, in the 5 months this was the first time id ever heard of any sort of complaint about this. The fact is she is the one that wanted to see me ALL THE TIME, i even mentioned it to her at the start of the relationship that i wasn't used to seeing someone so much! i was seeing her 3-4 times a week for hours, even from like 7 or 8 pm all the way through to 6 or 7 in the morning, sometimes we went out late drives in my car which she asked for, and she was complaining that she never saw me, i was going out my way when id made other plans or was up for college or work early the next day or was just really tired to see her instead and she has the cheek to turn around and accuse me of this! into the bargain i let her stay with her male friend in his flat from the start to the end of the relationship, only ever joking about not liking it as i didn't mind, i trusted her completly and even stayed there with her sometimes, the guy was a nice bloke, her nicest friend. I never complained about her going out with her friends which she did at least 2-3 times a week, this just really got to me when she blamed this on me. I haven't been perfect through all this but i haven't been horrible either, on some occasions i didn't help the situation but about 80% of the time i did what i could for her, she became quite friendly with my family, attended my sisters wedding with me, stayed in my room with me at the castle that night, my parents, sisters all really liked her, ended up didn't mind her staying, having dinner or breakfast or lunch, was almost like part of the family and for her to just turn around and do this, i feel like ive been made a mug of, my familys been made a mug of and ive been used. Was also just her birthday before all this as well, i spent quite a bit on her as well. Then she dumps me. You can see how it looks. Don't tell me i wanted nothing but sex, it was much more than that, i should'nt have tried to talk to her so soon after her dads death but what am i supposed to do? leave her for a few months and then go back when her feelings for me are gone or she has moved on, that didn't seem like an option to me, it just annoys me that all she seems to remember are the handful of stupid and silly arguments and not the rest of the relationship where things were really good, i just feel annoyed she doesn't seem to want to think about or even mention or actually admit they existed.