Brutal Honesty!

[MrBigDick]

This is true too...

Chemistry is a component. that makes a great friend. Great friends can make great lovers... I find so many people missing the chemistry component in their love lives because they've chosen to go after the hot person. It's really interesting to observe.

I've recently dated a few girls who started out okay, but there was just NO chemistry. I mean conversation seemed forced and I wasn't really into them. They were highly attractive but I just "peter'd out"... Stopped calling, receiving their calls, etc...

It's just... weird.

Having to carry the conversation is one of my biggest turn offs. If you can't help keep the conversation going what's the point in my continuing to talk to you?

The last woman I dated...........the one that had missing teeth (they were in the back and not something overly noticeable at first glanse), I stopped calling her and she never once called me so I'm thinking she either wasn't as into me as she claimed to have been OR she literally thought she was that "hot" and therefore didn't need to reciprocate the phone calls or the texts.

I go after the ones who were married previously and they typically have children. Because I share that commonality with them, I find it easier to form some common interest based on that. It's been my presumption that most divorced women want a man totally opposite of the one they chose to marry.

 

[Batwoman]

It's been my presumption that most divorced women want a man totally opposite of the one they chose to marry.

I think you're wrong there -- I suspect most divorced people don't change their tastes that much, they just find out that the person they thought they married was not the person they actually married. OR one or both people changed in the normal course of growing up, and found that their relationship changed too much to be maintained. Not all people get divorced because they had a horrible marriage to a horrible person. So why assume that divorced people are looking for something totally different the second time around?

 

[Total_Honesty]

Let me answer this MrBigDick, if I may:

It's time for some BRUTAL HONESTY! (Da da dummmm!)

You may be right Batwoman, HOWEVER, if that person was neglected or abused by their spouse then that person will go after somebody who is the opposite of their ex. For example, if a woman marries a business type guy but is neglected or put through hell in the divorce, she might go after the thugs because the business guy pushed her away from the other business guys. I've seen and heard it more times than you can imagine.

 

[ManWithPlan]

I think a lot of women would settle for an average (looks, personality etc.), but super rich guy as long as he is not a total jerk. (especially true in NYC).

 

[MrBigDick]

I think you're wrong there -- I suspect most divorced people don't change their tastes that much, they just find out that the person they thought they married was not the person they actually married. OR one or both people changed in the normal course of growing up, and found that their relationship changed too much to be maintained. Not all people get divorced because they had a horrible marriage to a horrible person. So why assume that divorced people are looking for something totally different the second time around?

I can see your point BW, however, it's been my personal experience as well as that of others around me who have gone through a divorce that the person they choose to remarry is totally opposite of the person they divorced. You're right, not all people get divorced because they had a horrible marriage, I get that and there are certainly exceptions to every rule. Again, I'm basing this on my own personal observations of what I've seen go on in my social circle. My sister divorced her husband of 19 years and married a guy totally opposite of her ex husband in every way.

 

[islander]

Originally Posted by MrBigDick
It's been my presumption that most divorced women want a man totally opposite of the one they chose to marry.

I am so glad you posted that!

Because that is exactly why I say I AM NOT READY TO DATE. Because I dont want another man like I was married to. I mean right now I still want that type of man and I dont want to want that!! lol
He had great qualities but in the end what was his core is not how I am or who I am. So I am in the stage of trying to figure out how this all works. I am learning by meeting friends, new people. Relaxing on judgements or assumptions. Just letting it be and getting to know them. More times than not the "who" they really are is very much the type of person I want to be around. Its interesting to learn.
I dont want to look and hone in on an exterior and hope the inside is great. I want to be patient, listen, learn about them.
Its a work in progress but knowing is half the battle hahahaha

 

[Closed039]

What women want is just what men want - to be satisfied. That is the same for every single woman. You just need to figure out what it is that needs the satisfying. Usually it is some combination of sexual, intellectual (emotional too), and financial satisfaction. The percentages vary from woman to woman. You have the size queen (sexual), gold digger (financial), and, well, can't really think of a name for the emotional/intellectual one.

 

[ManWithPlan]

The percentages vary from woman to woman. You have the size queen (sexual), gold digger (financial), and, well, can't really think of a name for the emotional/intellectual one.

Drama queen? jk

 

[Closed039]

Haha I don't think so - I think the intellectual and emotional women are definitely the most loyal and worthwhile to stay with. I guess you could wind up with a total emotional psycho path fuck up but that would really be an extreme.

 

[MrBigDick]

Haha I don't think so - I think the intellectual and emotional women are definitely the most loyal and worthwhile to stay with. I guess you could wind up with a total emotional psycho path fuck up but that would really be an extreme.

The "emotional, psycho path, fuck up" isn't as extreme or out of the ordinary as you'd think.............at least that's been MY experience and I refuse to have any more of those in my life. Life's too short.

 

[islander]

PE
I am a giver. A troubleshooter. A great friend. I love to see people get what they need and what they want. Whether that be an answer to something, financial success etc.. My ex hated that about me. He felt I spent way too much time, which took away from my business and him, on helping others. Sometimes the help took all but 3 minutes from my brain.
Its who I am. Then on the sexual side I again am a giver. I thoroughly enjoy touching, massaging, and spending time on the body. I have this thing with the skin (hard to explain). I find that because I do so many things in my life (I dont just have one or a few passions I have many) its exhausting to people. I dont even talk about what I do unless its asked but those who get to know me for a while figure out "sh*t this woman does too many things" lol

I want to be able to be open and not hide or feel embarrassed about all the things I love about life. There are many things I try and dont like or move on to the next idea but overall I see, I read, I try, I do, I succeed and do it again. lol

I guess the area I need satisfied is acceptance that although I am on fire most of the day doesn't mean I need a partner to keep up. You can watch, dont watch etc... Just let me be who I am and enjoy it. Its the finding the right man to enjoy it is the problem lol


Ugh. Work in progress.

 

[MrBigDick]

PE
I am a giver. A troubleshooter. A great friend. I love to see people get what they need and what they want. Whether that be an answer to something, financial success etc.. My ex hated that about me. He felt I spent way too much time, which took away from my business and him, on helping others. Sometimes the help took all but 3 minutes from my brain.
Its who I am. Then on the sexual side I again am a giver. I thoroughly enjoy touching, massaging, and spending time on the body. I have this thing with the skin (hard to explain). I find that because I do so many things in my life (I dont just have one or a few passions I have many) its exhausting to people. I dont even talk about what I do unless its asked but those who get to know me for a while figure out "sh*t this woman does too many things" lol

I want to be able to be open and not hide or feel embarrassed about all the things I love about life. There are many things I try and dont like or move on to the next idea but overall I see, I read, I try, I do, I succeed and do it again. lol

I guess the area I need satisfied is acceptance that although I am on fire most of the day doesn't mean I need a partner to keep up. You can watch, dont watch etc... Just let me be who I am and enjoy it. Its the finding the right man to enjoy it is the problem lol


Ugh. Work in progress.

And the one I found that was like you Islander was ALL screwed up in the head from a bad 25 year marriage and a horrific childhood and as a result, became emotionally abusive. (Big sigh), my search continues.........

 

[islander]

sh*t big dick. I assure u she is not like me lol
Never had a bad thing happen to me thank God.
I just went after fixer uppers lol

 

[MrBigDick]

sh*t big dick. I assure u she is not like me lol
Never had a bad thing happen to me thank God.
I just went after fixer uppers lol

Like you from the "giver" aspect islander. Sorry, I didn't mean to imply she was like you............as my mom told me, she's the type of woman who gives women a bad name...........and that's sayin' something.

A "fixer upper" is ok if the person wants to be fixed, it's quite another when that person doesn't think they've ever done anything wrong.

 

[islander]

thank you Papi (mbd).

 

[MrBigDick]

thank you Papi (mbd).

Oooooooh, "Papi".......I like it....lol