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CUSP82

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I brought a cheap watch from the crazy man
Floating down canal
It doesn't use numbers or moving hands
It always just says now
Now you maybe thinking that I was had
But this watch is never wrong
And if I have trouble the warranty says
Breathe in, breath out, move on

Acoording to my watch the time is now
The past is dead and gone
Don"t try to explain it just nod your head
Breathe in, breathe out move on!
James Buffet
 

Batwoman

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And it rained, It was nothing really new
And it blew, we've seen all that before
And it poured, the Earth began to strain
Pontchartrain leaking through the door, tides at war

If a hurricane doesn't leave you dead
It will make you strong
Don't try to explain it just nod your head
Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On
 

CUSP82

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Wow!!!!!
 

JonPop

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"A lie can travel half way around the world
while the truth is still putting on it's shoes."

Mark Twain.
 

BlasphemousRumors

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The best one i can think of on the spot is on the back of captain spauldings shirt in the beginning of "house of a thousand corpses" which reads Some thing like " If I wanted to hear asshole' i'd fart!
 

bgstick18

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"I'm detective John Kimbell" only from the great governator...ARNOLD! Ofcourse anything is he says is fucking hilarious because of that accent.
 

Pirate

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"I'm detective John Kimbell" only from the great governator...ARNOLD! Ofcourse anything is he says is fucking hilarious because of that accent.
"It's not a toooomer"
Same movie
 

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"Today we have higher buildings and wider highways, but shorter temperaments and narrower points of view.We spend more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses, but smaller families. We have more compromises, but less time. We have more knowledge, but less judgment. We have more medicines, but less health. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk much, we love only a little, and we hate too much.We reached the moon and came back, but we find it troublesome to cross our own street and meet our neighbors. We have conquered the outer space, but not our inner space.We have higher income, but less morals… These are times with more liberty, but less joy… With much more food, but less nutrition…These are days in which two salaries come home, but divorces increase. These are times of finer houses, but more broken homes.
That’s why I propose that as of today -- You do not keep anything for a special occasion, because every day that you live is a special occasion. Search for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to the needs. Pass more time with your family, eat your favorite food, visit the place you love. Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment; it isn’t only survival.
Use your crystal goblets. Do not save your best perfume… use it every time you feel you want it. Take out from your vocabulary phrases like, “one of these days” and “someday”. Let’s write that letter we thought of writing “one of these days…”Let’s tell our families and friends how much we love them. Never pass up a chance at adding laughter and joy to your life. Every day, hour, and minute are special… Because you never know if it will be your last…“one of these days” can be very far away, and you may not be there to see it…"

Unknown...
 

vulcan

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WOW - I like that TTBB.
 

Hanma

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Bill Hicks said:
"I loved when Bush came out and said, "We are losing the war against drugs." You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll to to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money! [George Carlin, fromalbum "You Are All Diseased" (it can also be found in the book "Napalm and Silly Putty".]
 

CUSP82

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You know I saw George do that routine and it made me wonder for a long time.He denied the existence of God because if God existed He wouldn't let people go hungry or be homeless. What kind of God let's a child go hungry? Well after thinking about it I came up with this answer; God gave this planet all that is needed to feed people and cloth them and shelter them. It us, man, who doesn't want to share! It's not God's fault it's ours!
 

Hanma

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You know I saw George do that routine and it made me wonder for a long time.He denied the existence of God because if God existed He wouldn't let people go hungry or be homeless. What kind of God let's a child go hungry? Well after thinking about it I came up with this answer; God gave this planet all that is needed to feed people and cloth them and shelter them. It us, man, who doesn't want to share! It's not God's fault it's ours!
I only fond out about him after he died. Same with Bill Hicks. You're one lucky man.

I think that there might be a god, or not, but even if there is, he doesn't give a sh*t about us. That would explain a lot.

I think That Bill and George are dead and still funnier than most comics alive today.
 

Going411x7

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"Today we have higher buildings and wider highways, but shorter temperaments and narrower points of view.We spend more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses, but smaller families. We have more compromises, but less time. We have more knowledge, but less judgment. We have more medicines, but less health. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk much, we love only a little, and we hate too much.We reached the moon and came back, but we find it troublesome to cross our own street and meet our neighbors. We have conquered the outer space, but not our inner space.We have higher income, but less morals… These are times with more liberty, but less joy… With much more food, but less nutrition…These are days in which two salaries come home, but divorces increase. These are times of finer houses, but more broken homes.
That’s why I propose that as of today -- You do not keep anything for a special occasion, because every day that you live is a special occasion. Search for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to the needs. Pass more time with your family, eat your favorite food, visit the place you love. Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment; it isn’t only survival.
Use your crystal goblets. Do not save your best perfume… use it every time you feel you want it. Take out from your vocabulary phrases like, “one of these days” and “someday”. Let’s write that letter we thought of writing “one of these days…”Let’s tell our families and friends how much we love them. Never pass up a chance at adding laughter and joy to your life. Every day, hour, and minute are special… Because you never know if it will be your last…“one of these days” can be very far away, and you may not be there to see it…"

Unknown...
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These words are George Carlin's, Titty. He was quite a guy.
 

Going411x7

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"One tequila, two tequila, three tequilla, floor." George Carlin
 

kingpole

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The mind is a terrible thing to taste ( Quote KP.)
 

Going411x7

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"I never fucked a ten. But one night I fucked five twos." :rolleyes: G.C.
 

TTBB

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These words are George Carlin's, Titty. He was quite a guy.

COol I have searched in the past trying to find out who said it .. but came up empty,
I have friends who are huge George Carlin fans... its amazing they didn't set me straight on it in the past ..lol
so thanks :)
 

Gravik

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You can prick your finger, but don't finger your prick! - George Carlin

:D
 

Going411x7

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"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?" G.C.