Zero progress in 3 months

[BadPE]

Been posting before about feeling demotivated and not making any progress. I got pushed in the right direction and trusted that it would get better. So far I did edging (progessively) , stretches and some reverse kegels a couple of times a week. I was always busy focusing on arousal and keeping my PC muscles relaxed. I recently started byggds routine, although I cannot "workout" everyday.

My edging got better, arousal rating got better, when not super aroused I can somewhat keep pc muscles relaxed, butttt...

After 3 months.. whenever I have sex with my girl I get hard right away, I dont know how to "snap out" of my high arousal level and I sure cant relax my pelvis when do aroused. It tightens up so hard.

I dont know what to do anymore. I actually dont know what my problem really is. I guessed overarousal, tight pelvis and anxiety, but I cant seem to conquer it. I really feel down alot lately.. For me, my sex life is totally ruined, my girl says she is okay, but still. I cannot enjoy sex the way I want to and I really start to believe Im uncureable. Should I start over all again? And what should I do? Im about to just go to the doctor and pop some pills instead of doing it the natural way.


Please help me!

 

[closed224]

Just imagine me when you are with your girl friend.
Seriously, keep working the routines, don't get frustrated as that adds to the anxiety. You really are improving, but you have to believe it. It is all about knowing you are doing the right things.

 

[longerlastingnoob]

Hi, we haven't been formally introduced, I'm your willpower. I've disguised myself as this forum member and been searching through the threads reading up on everything. Now I'm here we can really get to work.
I don't have all the answers, but what I do have is a particular set of skills. Skills obtained from pegym and its various members. Skills that make guys like me a nightmare for premature ejaculation. If you give up now, that'll be the end of it, you can get some meds, we won't find your answers. But if you committ, you will find them and you will beat this. GOOD LUCK.

 

[Zman007]

It takes time and patience. And when I worked on this round two was always way better and the way to go.

Pausing and pushing a reverse Kegel when you feel IKs and overarousal helps.

 

[jackjohnson]

Jacking off before having sex has worked for me. Also, eating my girl out first allowed me to calm down and relax.

 

[BigO]

Jacking off before having sex has worked for me. Also, eating my girl out first allowed me to calm down and relax.

Eating poon is always good. Even if it does not work at least you got to eat poon.

 

[Jaw Breaker]

Hi, we haven't been formally introduced, I'm your willpower. I've disguised myself as this forum member and been searching through the threads reading up on everything. Now I'm here we can really get to work.
I don't have all the answers, but what I do have is a particular set of skills. Skills obtained from pegym and its various members. Skills that make guys like me a nightmare for premature ejaculation. If you give up now, that'll be the end of it, you can get some meds, we won't find your answers. But if you committ, you will find them and you will beat this. GOOD LUCK.

This had me in stitches. Thanks. lol

 

[Guccimayne1986]

Hey man,

I am in same boat but there has been progress once I tweaked my edging habits.

Questions:

1. How often do you cum? Try to make that once in 5-6 sessions. Your mind and body need to get conditioned that ejaculation is not the goal.

2. Are you edging too close to PONR? Try to use your body cues to forsee PONR and try to stop or reset before heavy IKs kick in.

I am fighting the same battle but some edging tweaks are showing positive signs. Cheers

 

[BadPE]

Thanks for the peptalk guys. Im trying so hard to stay positive, but it so hard when you just failed again while having sex..

I try to stay focused while edging, concentrating on relaxing the pelvis and having my arousal under control. I slowly tighten grip or speed up. When I lay on my back, edging isnt that hard and I can relax very well. Whenever I try kneeling, tight grip or thrusting, especially trusting my pelvis is stuck and I cannot relax it while thrusting or kneeling. Laying on my back/sitting/standing I can easily reach 20mins, but with thrusting I barely reach 3mins, maybe?

I try to plateau-edge minimum 20mins while cumming every 3 days (estimate).

When I am with my girl, I get aroused very fast while making out or some touching. Its not only sex that is hard, handjob or blowjob also sets me off quick.

I just cannot find out how to "snap out" of my high arousal state..


I guess I got 2 problems.. Overarousal when being with a girl + having a hard time relaxing the pelvis (but it is more of a problem caused by the overarousal).

How do I fight this? I understand my arousal, yet I cant get it down while being intimate.

 

[Italianboy]

Do you edge with porn?I'm 25 day porn free and my arousal levels are going down!I have your same problem (overarousal+Kegeling all the time)

 

[BadPE]

Havent watched porn in 3 months.. My arousal is lower then before while edging, but sex still makes me overaroused..

 

[longerlastingnoob]

Thanks for the peptalk guys. Im trying so hard to stay positive, but it so hard when you just failed again while having sex..

I try to stay focused while edging, concentrating on relaxing the pelvis and having my arousal under control. I slowly tighten grip or speed up. When I lay on my back, edging isnt that hard and I can relax very well. Whenever I try kneeling, tight grip or thrusting, especially trusting my pelvis is stuck and I cannot relax it while thrusting or kneeling. Laying on my back/sitting/standing I can easily reach 20mins, but with thrusting I barely reach 3mins, maybe?

I try to plateau-edge minimum 20mins while cumming every 3 days (estimate).

When I am with my girl, I get aroused very fast while making out or some touching. Its not only sex that is hard, handjob or blowjob also sets me off quick.

I just cannot find out how to "snap out" of my high arousal state..


I guess I got 2 problems.. Overarousal when being with a girl + having a hard time relaxing the pelvis (but it is more of a problem caused by the overarousal).

How do I fight this? I understand my arousal, yet I cant get it down while being intimate.

Edge with your girl. If you explain what you are trying to do, last longer, she should want to be a part of it. Minute man gave this advice to a guy who is now making brilliant progress.
"When your with her don't think of being inside her, just enjoy her, her feel her touch her smell.
When you do enter her, take it really slow, stop completely and just caress, hold, kiss her while being inside her, the more you get used to this without orgasm the easier it will become."
It was something along those lines.

 

[BadPE]

Yeah I know he told me that earlier. I did try her edging me but the arousal takes over most of the time. The things you mentioned while having sex, I do that everytime. When I just relax and stay inside I am okay, but then thrusting sets me off again real quick.

The only thing so far that helped me during sex was talking about totally random things. I would just be inside her, we would talk about our day and a minute or so later, my high arousal dropped to a normal level. Then i was able to have sex for say 5? maybe 10? minutes with some small breaks before reaching PONR. The thing is that she gets less aroused too..

Whenever we do not do this arousal stays sky high, pelvis gets tight as heck, constant kegeling and eventually cum after some thrusts..

 

[longerlastingnoob]

Ok so keep doing that, and also edge on your own, each week or two edge for longer ( even a couple of minutes more, then you can start tightening your grip and thrusting. After consistent progress alone when you start to gain more control, it should transfer, just take your time, don't expect miracles and above all don't let the bad times get you down.

 

[Rational Mind]

Try to stop masturbating for as long as you can and see how your body and mind react. The idea behind that is resetting your arousal response to stimulation. Take a look at this thread, you might find some useful info.

The “Average Overall Arousal” Theory (AOA)

 

[chajadan]

I've heard of several people with setups to help their trusting endurance -- flesh light endurance units strapped to things so they can thrust into them. I would really recommend that based in the theory of working with what you want to improve.

I also definitely recommend working with your girl. Don't hesitate to talk openly and just assume she's willing to try things unless she says otherwise. When I'm super-aroused, something that often helps me is doing semi fast micro movements, and I do mean micro, because if I wank the shaft too more than a couple millimeters, it can set off the high arousal, but that semi fast micro movements seem to do a really good job of somehow chilling out my member, to the point I can often end up moving on to full shaft strokes pretty quickly.

Also, don't think of a hard on as something you have no safe or preserve. Feel free once you are a bit too close to PONR to completely pull out and be sensual with your girl in other ways. There is no doubt you can please a partner without penetration, and if you let yourself go totally flaccid (if that's even possible sometimes the rest is too titilating too), then you can enjoy some more ride.

You can also start off by going til you shoot, then spend the rest of the time being sensual and pleasing until you're ready to go again. If you put some effort not only into your own body practice, but time specifically into the practice of pleasing your girl, that goes a long way brother!!

As everyone said, take a deep breath and let it go. Getting bugged serves zero point for you. Look at all the kids running around the park laughing like crazy and having fun -- the was a time before sex, and happiness lived there too. Keep working on yourself, and assume it will transfer, and if it doesn't you should have enjoyed the whole process

Some of the points in my blog may resonate with you: https://www.pegym.com/forums/blogs/...uses-arousal-escalation-body-control-120.html

 

[chajadan]

Hey, here's one post like what I mentioned -- this guys uses a flesh light to audio of moaning woman to help realisticness: https://www.pegym.com/forums/premature-ejaculation-forum/82053-one-month-journey-helpful-tips.html

People may say stay away from porn or similar, but if you are using something to wear down your sensitivity rather than as a crutch or turbo booster to enhance arousal, I say it's a totally fine thing to try -- until you like it too much