How big/strong should a guy be to keep himself and loved ones safe?

[ApolloXL]

I was wondering this the other day as my GF was talking about how she has a real fear of being assaulted when she's out by herself. Naturally, she feels safer when she's with a man, but should she be necessarily?

As a man, you should be able to defend yourself and your SO if a situation turns sour, or at least extricate yourselves from the situation. There are many ways to do this. (1) If you're huge, you're probably less likely to be messed with, but this is a matter of genetics and not attainable for all of us. (2) If you're experienced in martial arts, you would be familiar with how to handle yourself in a physical confrontation. Or (3) if you're charismatic or a smooth talker, you might be able to end the situation before it gets physical. I know that no one will ever be totally prepared for EVERY situation, but I'm just talking about your average confrontation that starts to get physical.

Personally, I don't think that I'd meet any of the above 3 criteria, so my question is what does a guy have to do to ensure that he is able to keep himself and people he's with safe? Should every guy learn the basics of a martial art? Should he possess a certain amount of strength? How can you learn ways to defuse a situation verbally? Does confidence have anything to do with it?

 

[jstane45]

I certainly don't know all the ways to keep safe, but I can tell you what I've done.

First off, I'm in shape and freakishly strong. About 6' 230lbs, shredded. I focus on strength and endurance.

I'm also an experienced marksman, and conceal carry when I can. Now that I'm in CA that's not really possible because they refuse permits. Instead, I train Krav Maga. I recommended my wife practice it also.

But better than all that, avoid situations where you would need to defend yourself or others.

 

[HailEros]

I'm also a big muscular guy, about 5' 11" 200 lbs. lean and a lot stronger than I look. This will often keep people from confronting me in a physical way, but if not...I'm also an amateur MMA fighter with a (hopefully) realistic chance of going pro one day. So I can back up my stature and defend myself efficiently. I've never lost a street fight, even though I've fought multiple people on a few occasions. My girlfriend feels very safe with me. She knows what I'm capable of. But all that being said...if someone comes up behind me and puts a gun to my back, what then? It could be a 115 lb crackhead or even a small woman. Doesn't matter. If he/she has a lethal weapon and has me in a vulnerable situation, not much can be done. I'm a firm believer in being physically fit and capable, regardless of your reason for it. I'm big and strong partially from genetics but also because I think It's an admirable quality. I train MMA because I like it as a sport, but I also think It's virtuous to be able to defend yourself and your loved ones as efficiently as possible. I think It's a good idea to better yourself in every possible way mentally and physically. Try to be big, strong, fast, intelligent, etc...I mean, we are all on this site to better ourselves sexually, right? Better yourself in general. In every way possible. And as was said before, It's a good idea to try and avoid bad situations before they occur. Stay away from bad parts of town. That's an example of using your intellect to keep you out of a situation where you could potentially need to use your physical attributes or self-defense knowledge.

 

[Boosie]

Im thinking of starting out boxing for now then later moving on into MMA but i just havent gotte nto do it yet.

 

[eow.]

Carry a gun. Get your girlfriend a small gun and a concealed weapon license.

HailEros, you said this in your reply in that other thread, which is that MMA should be looked at as a sport with rules (because it is). It doesn't represent real life. These guys spend hours a day training to kick a human's ass under a strict set of rules.

What happens when that strict set of rules isn't there anymore? Guns, knives, bats, multiple people, etc. This isn't hollywood, so I doubt anyone will stand a chance in that scenario unless you RUN. Now, I will say that there ARE disciplines of self-defense that deal with gun/knife scenarios, but wouldn't it be easier to just carry a gun yourself?

If you're having to constantly worry about physically defending yourself and your GF, maybe you are living in the wrong area of town or hanging around the wrong areas. I have never been in a fight... ever. I have never had the need to be in one. And like I said, if you ARE worried, why not just carry a gun instead of trying to learn hand-to-hand combat with people who don't follow MMA rules?

If you are uber experienced in martial arts, you can handle something like this to an extent, but are you going to spend hours a day training for some scenario that might never happen? That would be paranoia at its finest.

 

[thenewdude]

Most people in general who don't know you, don't know what you can or cannot do. My ma made me take martial arts because of the neighborhood I grew up in but one doesn't know that and most times I delude the confrontation by how I approach the situation including tone.
That's right, when you get into 'I will f*** you up' tone of speaking and demeanor, most think twice 'Damn, he might f*** me up!'. And even if you are scared, act like you aren't not giving a damn, crazy s***.

I can count on my hand as an adult how many times I have had to result in action when my words don't take effect; and I am 41 yrs of age. So, like I said, that body language and tone will detour a lot.

 

[digio]

#1, above all else, regardless of size, skill, possession of weapon, or whatever, is to be aware of your surroundings and be confident. If you don't put yourself and your girl in a potentially dangerous or volatile situation, then you are doing your job as a man which is to keep her safe.

If all else genuinely fails (which is so extremely rare it almost not worth thinking about), and you're still attacked, then yes, you fight them off while she gets to safety. Obviously, winning is better than losing, but if you lose but she still managed to get to safety while you did what you could, then you've still done your job.

 

[camaro]

So much to say...but this for now.You will always have your mind and body with you.

 

[digio]

Carry a gun. Get your girlfriend a small gun and a concealed weapon license.

HailEros, you said this in your reply in that other thread, which is that MMA should be looked at as a sport with rules (because it is). It doesn't represent real life. These guys spend hours a day training to kick a human's ass under a strict set of rules.

What happens when that strict set of rules isn't there anymore? Guns, knives, bats, multiple people, etc. This isn't hollywood, so I doubt anyone will stand a chance in that scenario unless you RUN. Now, I will say that there ARE disciplines of self-defense that deal with gun/knife scenarios, but wouldn't it be easier to just carry a gun yourself?

If you're having to constantly worry about physically defending yourself and your GF, maybe you are living in the wrong area of town or hanging around the wrong areas. I have never been in a fight... ever. I have never had the need to be in one. And like I said, if you ARE worried, why not just carry a gun instead of trying to learn hand-to-hand combat with people who don't follow MMA rules?

If you are uber experienced in martial arts, you can handle something like this to an extent, but are you going to spend hours a day training for some scenario that might never happen? That would be paranoia at its finest.

A gun doesn't make you or your girl safer. It actually makes you and her less safe. It does make you more dangerous to your attackers but it definitely does not make you safer. There is a big difference there.

Before anyone says I'm some anti-gun nut yadda yadda. I love guns and I love to go shooting. Nothing wrong at all with owning guns. But it's important to know what guns actually do for you

 

[HailEros]

Carry a gun. Get your girlfriend a small gun and a concealed weapon license.

HailEros, you said this in your reply in that other thread, which is that MMA should be looked at as a sport withrules (because it is). It doesn't represent real life. These guys spend hours a day training to kick a human's ass under a strict set of rules.

What happens when that strict set of rules isn't there anymore? Guns, knives, bats, multiple people, etc. This isn't hollywood, so I doubt anyone will stand a chance in that scenario unless you RUN. Now, I will say that there ARE disciplines of self-defense that deal with gun/knife scenarios, but wouldn't it be easier to just carry a gun yourself?

If you're having to constantly worry about physically defending yourself and your GF, maybe you are living in the wrong area of town or hanging around the wrong areas. I have never been in a fight... ever. I have never had the need to be in one. And like I said, if you ARE worried, why not just carry a gun instead of trying to learn hand-to-hand combat with people who don't follow MMA rules?

If you are uber experienced in martial arts, you can handle something like this to an extent, but are you going to spend hours a day training for some scenario that might never happen? That would be paranoia at its finest.

Yep. That's partially the point I was trying to prove by saying that it doesn't matter how much more skilled of a fighter I am, there's not much I could do with a gun pointed at my back. I was advising him to pursue self-defense or physical training for reasons other than being able to defend himself and his family during any possible situation, just because some situations are going to leave you vulnerable no matter what. Even if you have a gun, if someone else gets the jump on you, you're screwed. But I agree also that It's a good idea to carry a gun. Partially for the same reason you should be able to defend yourself. You should also train to use the gun because usually the person trying to rob you doesn't know sh*t about using one. It's hilarious hearing stories where I live. Shootouts in the ghetto between hoodrats ten feet away from each other hiding behind trash cans, and nobody gets hit. Lol. You hear about it all the time. And It's bad news for them where I come from because I live in the southeastern United States where redneck hunters are in abundance. And those guys (and girls) know how to shoot. Deer and fowl are a lot tougher to hit than people. Lol. Not to mention, these people are usually very aggressive, carry concealed weapons permits and dream every day of having the opportunity to be in a situation where they can actually off somebody and get away with it.

 

[thenewdude]

Just be trained with a gun using it in the right circumstance (when there's a weapon). But don't think one can't disarm you within arms reach (it's easier than you think to do). Learn self-defense which will also build confidence and help your body to be trained to respond with you in control.

 

[eow.]

I guess I just can't relate to the feeling of danger that you guys have. I've never lived in a huge city. Never had to travel around in the ghetto. Never had a reason to be in a fist fight. I also live in the Southeast, just not in a big city. I've never felt threatened, ever. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I do tend to stay inside on my computer a lot

 

[MovingUp]

I certainly don't know all the ways to keep safe, but I can tell you what I've done.

First off, I'm in shape and freakishly strong. About 6' 230lbs, shredded. I focus on strength and endurance.

I'm also an experienced marksman, and conceal carry when I can. Now that I'm in CA that's not really possible because they refuse permits. Instead, I train Krav Maga. I recommended my wife practice it also.

But better than all that, avoid situations where you would need to defend yourself or others.

You realize that Arnold Schwarzenegger won Mr. Olympias weighing just over 230 pounds right? at 6'2 ... You guys who go on claiming how you're lower to mid 200s and ripped or "shredded" are full of sh*t ... why lie like that

 

[jstane45]

You realize that Arnold Schwarzenegger won Mr. Olympias weighing just over 230 pounds right? at 6'2 ... You guys who go on claiming how you're lower to mid 200s and ripped or "shredded" are full of sh*t ... why lie like that

I sense some jealousy. Are you scrawny? Or just fat? And by thinking Arnold was big by today's standards you prove you don't have a clue. Get lost, and give some real advice to the OP, instead of filling up his thread with crap like that.

 

[thenewdude]

The definition of ripped is your muscles are showing. Look at Bruce Lee (ripped to the core weighting only 150 lbs at most). You don't have to be bulging full of muscles to be ripped. I only have about 16's and you can see all my muscles which comes by doing many repetitions instead bulk building. Arnie had to spend many many hours in gym to get the bulk weight ripped for competition to get the cut form for all the muscles to be seen. The only one to beat that 7 time Mr.Olympia was Lee Haney
(9 times).
Now, let's consider this. The normal mans arms are about 13 inches. Arnie's max was 22 1/2 and Lee's was 25. That's a huge difference and Arnie weighted in competition actually 229 and 250ish bulked up. Now, also we need to factor bone thickness.
Now, let's consider the average weight of a heavy weight which is 210 by the way give or take. Most have about 18 or more inch guns or more while the welter weight is about 190 in class 180 minimum. Still good size when in shape.
So really is has to do with in what shape you are in because it takes a lot more fat (which America has come too) to equal mass in muscle. But it takes a little more muscle to make 150 lbs or pressure to 200 lbs. Do the math.

 

[9TeXaS0BaD3BoY]

size doesn't matter in this case either

 

[thenewdude]

It really don't at all because I would hate to have been the one to battle Bruce Lee in competition with his less than 150 lbs whooping my a**.

 

[draggin]

Just go buy a gun or pepper spray. Stop worrying about what "might" happen and start focusing on eachother, your relationship, and frequent great sex.

 

[CUSP82]

Get an AK-47 or an Uzzi! You really don't walk around thinking about stuff like that do you?

 

[HailEros]

You realize that Arnold Schwarzenegger won Mr. Olympias weighing just over 230 pounds right? at 6'2 ... You guys who go on claiming how you're lower to mid 200s and ripped or "shredded" are full of sh*t ... why lie like that

(Great. Another one of these "take my insecurities out on other people" guys) Uhh...you don't have to look like a competing bodybuilder to be considered lean or even "ripped." I'm about 198 lbs. in my profile picture. NO BULLSHIT. Not to mention, I'm about three inches shorter than Arnold was. And your point isn't valid anyway. I know guys personally who are much larger than Arnold ever was. I'm not big on bodybuilding, but I'm pretty sure It's about more than size. It has just as much to do with symmetry, definition, stage performance and all that , right?