Following sex, some men have unexpected feelings – study

Following sex, some men have unexpected feelings – study

A new study shows that some men’s reaction to sex is not what you’d expect, resulting in a condition previously observed in women.

By:Paul Ratner

* This article is a repost which originally appeared on BigThink.com

  • A new study shows men’s feelings after sex can be complex.
  • Some men reportedly get sad and upset.
  • The condition affected 41% of men in the study

Our culture tends not to trouble itself with how men feel after sex—it’s presumed that as the ultimate goal of much of male energy and desire, sex can only lead to feelings of pleasure. But a first-of-its-kind study found that men can get sad after sex, exhibiting a condition called “post-coital dysphoria” (PCD) that has previously been observed in women.

PCD is characterized by feelings of sadness, tearfulness or irritability following sex.

The study, authored by the masters student Joel Maczkowiack and Professor Robert D. Schweitzer from Queensland Uniersity of Technology (QUT) in Brisbane, Australia, analyzed the data from an international survey of mostly heterosexual 1,208 men from the United States, the U.K., Australia, New Zealand, Germany, Russia, and other countries.

What they concluded is that 41% of the participants experienced PCD in their lifetime. 20% reported it happened to them in the preceding four weeks. 4% said they suffered from it regularly.

Maczkowiack said that the feelings reported by the survey’s subjects varied from “I don’t want to be touched and want to be left alone” to “I feel unsatisfied, annoyed and very fidgety. All I really want is to leave and distract myself from everything I participated in.”

Some talked about feeling “emotionless and empty”.

Professor Schweitzer thinks the results of the study show that how men view sex is much more complex and varied than assumed previously.

“It is commonly believed that males and females experience a range of positive emotions including contentment and relaxation immediately following consensual sexual activity,” said Schweitzer. “Yet previous studies on the PCD experience of females showed that a similar proportion of females had experienced PCD on a regular basis. As with the men in this new study, it is not well understood. We would speculate that the reasons are multifactorial, including both biological and psychological factors.”

Not only do men experience PCD, this condition can interfere with the interactions of the couple following sex. Maczkowiack stressed that the postcoital stage—”the resolution”—is very important for building the intimacy of the couple. Those that “engage in talking, kissing, and cuddling following sexual activity report greater sexual and relationship satisfaction,” he added.

What is the cause of PCD? Scientists don’t yet know but theorize it may have to do with the “dopamine rebound effect” when dopamine levels are lower after the sexual rush.

You can check out the new study in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy.

Jason Rogers Isn’t Letting His Sexual Performance Anxiety Define Him

Jason Rogers Isn’t Letting His Sexual Performance Anxiety Define Him

Former Olympian Jason Rogers Wants Men to Know It’s OK to Be Vulnerable

By: Sean Abrams

* This article is a repost which originally appeared on AskMen.com

Things like erectile dysfunction and sexual performance anxiety do not make you less than. They don’t drain you of your masculinity, changing from you the man you’ve always been to someone you barely recognize. Countless men deal with it, but are too afraid to speak out. That’s why what former Olympian Jason Rogers is doing deserves all the praise in the world. You see, because even with a silver medal, Rogers allowed his inability to rise to the occasion in the bedroom to create a dark storm cloud over all other aspects of his life — until now.

When It All Began

“I think every teenage boy has awkward fumbling experiences, you know, when they’re first figuring out dating and physical intimacy, but it was pretty clear to me from early on that my experiences didn’t seem to be matching up with my friends’ experiences,” he says. “And while some of that can be chalked up to teenage exaggeration, I just felt different and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. I wasn’t mature enough to be able to articulate to anyone properly. So, you know, it kind of started from the beginning.”

Out of the gate, Rogers makes it clear that it doesn’t mean he’s never gotten hard before. While he’s been plagued with symptoms that come with erectile dysfunction, he describes his sexual encounters more like “the sort of anxiety that you feel in an intimate experience with someone that can create a momentary failure.”

“I would say at a certain point in time in my life, I sort of skewed towards the more severe part of that, but I would kind of describe my overall experience more as the former, you know, because not every sexual experience was unsuccessful,” he says.

Trying to Deal

In terms of a coping strategy on and off over the years … well, there really wasn’t one. In fact, until Rogers really decided to saddle up and deal with it, he basically just prayed it would go away. Another way to avoid his penis problems was to just step away from dating and intimacy entirely, something he found himself doing as well.

“I would go through these kind of protracted periods where I was like, ‘You know what? I’m not going to handle that,’ admits Rogers. “I was a super achievement spoken young kid and college student. It was very easy to just bury myself in busyness, tests, practice and in competition. I was able to rationalize not dealing with it for a really, really long time.”

As you can imagine, that took a toll. Going into new relationships, the professional athlete always felt that overarching fear that he’d inevitably mess things up somehow. As expected, that connected to his thought that if he couldn’t get it up, this person would “suddenly” lose interest. Eventually, his bedroom worries blended into other aspects of his life, causing a shake-up he wasn’t accustomed to feeling.

“I certainly was a confident guy when it came to sports because I had this track record of being very successful in [fencing] early on, kind of flying on this trajectory,” says Rogers. “But there were definitely times in my career that I was struggling with that sexual confidence, and understanding who I was and getting those needs met that it entangled with my overall confidence, and also my athletic confidence.” Rogers recalls tanking performances and not being able to figure out why. “It’s hard to draw a direct line between those two things because obviously the brain works in mysterious ways, but I think it’s not just pure coincidence that I had periods of time when I really went through some serious fencing and athletic difficulties that coordinated with periods of time where I was in the depths of my struggles with the sexual confidence stuff as well.”

Putting the Pieces Together

It was hard for Rogers not to draw a parallel between sex and sports. To him, both were about being in the moment and responding to what is happening directly in front of you. At the time, both were constantly flooding his mind, leaving him unable to find an anchor that’d help keep him in the present.

“In the case of fencing, you train for years and years to understand what cues your opponent presents in order for you to react to in order to score a point,” says Rogers. “That all relies on that pure, present awareness. Any distractions from that are going to essentially put the brakes on your ability to show athletic potential.”

As for sex, he sees it as a really similar process. “You have to be present. You have to be paying attention to your body and the sensations that feel good. You have to be sort of in tune with your partner. But in my case, there were just thoughts that would come into my head that would just pull me right out of the moment. Whether you’re talking about fencing or sex, all they did was distract me and take the majority of my focus away from where it really should be.”

Rogers just felt broken. It got to the point where the fencing champion felt as though he would never be the man he wanted to be. Rogers even began questioning his sexuality, wondering if failed encounters with women were due to the fact that he was actually attracted to men.

“What happens if you’re denying some very critical aspect of your own sexuality that’s causing this persistent issue?” says Rogers, referencing a question he asked himself during his struggle. “I’m not the type of person that is super binary in the way they think about sexuality. I kind of see it more as a spectrum, and I was like, ‘Well, you know, if that’s the case, I should really explore that.’ And I did explore that for about a year with a few really awesome dudes.”

Unfortunately, the issue continued to present itself, leaving Rogers to deduce that it went beyond the base layer of his sexuality.

“There’s a deeper issue related to shame, or there’s a deeper issue related to how my mind works in these kind of like intimate settings that is completely unrelated to who I’m attracted to,” he says. “And so, it was kind of like, ‘I’m glad I experienced that and I think it’s really important to understand the full pallet of your own sexuality, but ultimately I need to try new things.’ That’s kind of why I returned to dating women again from there.”

Breaking From the Norm

Rogers hopes to help push past these pre-established cultural narratives, including money, cars, and the overall alpha masculine stereotype. “I love a James Bond movie, but [it’s] probably not an amazing example for men of like what masculinity is, right?” he quips. You’re not able to see the underside of imperfection, something that does exist even if it’s not necessarily shown in characters on screen.

The thing I get frustrated with is that this is so common, and the statistics vary significantly depending on what study you look at, but there’s no question that this stuff is happening to millions of men,” he says. “We sort of learn through culture and through the way men tend to react in that kind of tribal setting that if you have an issue once or more often than once, you know, it’s like, ‘Oh bro, don’t tell me about that. I don’t want to hear about that.’ And I think that implicitly teaches us that we’re not worthwhile, or there’s something deeply wrong with us. And that’s just crazy. I think that’s just fundamentally crazy.”

All of this has led Rogers to this point — speaking out about his personal struggles, not only through a memoir currently in the works, but by partnering with Giddy, a new company that offers “an alternative tool for the very real issue of erectile dysfunction.”

“When I first started writing the book, or I should say when I shifted the project to focus more on this aspect of my personal story, the thing that I thought about most was myself as a teenager in the height of my confusion, and the level of isolation that I felt,” says Rogers. “I didn’t have the perspective to understand that it shouldn’t be a big deal. And I’m sure there are men that have talked about this in the past, but I’ll go first. I’ll be among the first men to really tackle this, and I hope it’s like dominoes … I hope it becomes a more commonplace topic and the negative charge around it starts to deplete.”

As for Rogers’ collaboration with Giddy, he says they “share similar missions.”

“I think we just need to change the narrative, and that begins by talking about it,” he says. He also points out that it shouldn’t be a completely one sided conversation. “Men are struggling with this issue absent of their partners, and their partners need to be a part of this, too. That’s one important point that I know Giddy is really wanting to bring into this conversation, and I fully support that. It felt like an appropriate time for me to step forward, and it felt like an appropriate partnership to try and team up to achieve this mutual goal.”

Putting ED at Ease

If you’re wondering what exactly Giddy is, envision an upgraded version of your average cock ring that’s been crafted specifically to help overcome erectile dysfunction.

“It’s effective, comfortable, doesn’t require a prescription and has no side effects,” says Erika Jensen, founder and CEO of Giddy. “Giddy was designed by a team of engineers, urologists, mathematicians, and ED specialists to fit your body perfectly applying pressure to the dorsal vein while leaving the corpora cavernosa and urethra unencumbered for a comfortable, pain-free experience. [It’s] safe to use every time you have sex, and can be used even if you don’t have ED but you want a stronger sensation or longer play time,” she explains.

Jensen adds that while Giddy can essentially be carried with you wherever you go, the company’s long-term goal is to help people understand that “pleasure is not defined by penetration, performance does not define your masculinity and that it’s essential to have honest conversations with our partners.”

“ED is a spectrum disorder meaning some men experience it every once in a while while others experience it every time,” she says. Giddy partnered with Board Certified Urologist and ED Specialist, Dr. Chris Kyle, and Certified Sex Educator, Shan Boodram, to create a 30-day plan with exercises to help fix ED over time and bring your confidence back to what it once was. “By coupling education with an effective, wearable ED treatment, our hope is that men will begin to reframe what it means to be intimate with their partner and relieve the pressure to perform every time, putting more emphasis on being present with themselves and their partner and less emphasis on making sure they remembered their Giddy for a night out.”

The Goal

Rogers hopes his words, along with the great work Giddy is doing, will help with an inevitable redefining of how people see masculinity. He isn’t trying to go backwards by saying everything we use to traditionally define the term is completely wrong. Instead, he wants to men to be thoughtful, focusing on the proper application of the qualities that make up what makes a man masculine in their own way.

“One of the key things that we need to incorporate into masculine identity is this idea of vulnerability,” says Rogers. “Most men tend to feel that if they show any vulnerability it’s weakness, which automatically subtracts from their man score. And I think that’s such a wrong-headed way of thinking because that’s not what vulnerability is.” Instead, he says, vulnerability is a strength. “It’s the ability to express something honestly and authentically, which not only helps you get that thing off your chest, but helps other people around them feel less alone, and feel able to collaborate and talk about things that are not easily talked about. There’s no one way to be a man. True masculinity is about just expressing who you are.”

Penis enlargement craze prompts warning due to men injecting cooking oil into their genitals

Penis enlargement craze prompts warning due to men injecting cooking oil into their genitals

‘Predominantly they regret what they have done’

By:Harry Cockburn

* This article is a repost which originally appeared on INDEPENDENT.co.uk.

Doctors in Papua New Guinea have warned they are facing a national problem as thousands of men suffer the effects of botched DIY penis enlargements.

 

Some doctors’ surgeries are overrun with men who have injected their genitals with an array of substances including silicon, coconut oil, baby oil and cooking oil.

A doctor in the country’s capital city Port Moresby said over the last two years his clinic had treated more than 500 men who were suffering the effects of ill-advised penis injections.

The results can be life altering, and range from painful ulcers which eventually burst, to swelling, and lumps on the penis and testicles, and in some cases lifelong impotence.

Speaking to The Guardian, Akule Danlop, a surgeon at a hospital in Port Moresby said: “The bulk of them have abnormal, lumpy masses growing over the penis and sometimes involving the scrotum.

“A good number are coming in with ulcers; they eventually burst open,” said Danlop. “Some of them have difficulty urinating because the foreskin is so swollen it cannot contract.”

He said he had treated boys as young as 16, and men over 55, and the picture was the same across the country.

“There are guys who are in respectable jobs like working at law firms,” he said. “It’s right across PNG, it’s not only in Moresby.”

He has had to operate on about 90 men to address swelling, abnormal lumps and to try and repair damage to erectile tissue.

“Predominantly they regret what they have done,” he said.

Mr Danlop also estimated the number of men who are undertaking these treatments is far higher than admissions figures indicate, as many men may be unwilling to seek medical help.

But the rising numbers coming to hospital is also problematic as they are draining medical resources.

“There’s cancer, there are other conditions [that need treatment]. It’s a bit frustrating to see these cases when you have other people who deserve [help] and then these people are causing themselves harm, they do it to themselves,” he said.

Last year the BBC reported the NHS is having to fix issues caused by DIY penis fillers in the UK.

Two of the UK’s largest cosmetic surgery groups for male sexual health said they have seen a massive increase in numbers of enquiries about penis fillers.

Two companies operating in the UK told the BBC in October last year they were receiving about 700 enquiries a month between them, compared to fewer than 10 a month in 2015.

At the time, Mr Asif Muneer, from the British Association of Urological Surgeons, said he would “discourage” people from having them, as they can lead to major complications.

“A lot of the time, we’re having to remove the whole penis shaft skin, and regraft it with skin from elsewhere in the body.”

This Sea Slug Uses Its Penis To Scrape Out Rival Sperm

Underwater close-up photography of Chromodoris reticulata (Getty)

This Sea Slug Uses Its Penis To Scrape Out Rival Sperm

By: Emily Willingham

* This article is a repost which originally appeared on Forbes.com.

The sea slug Chromodoris reticulata shot to glorious reproductive fame in 2013 with the news that it not only mated using a disposable penis but also had a couple of spares on hand. Now it turns out that the animal uses its thorny penis to scoop sperm out of its mating partner. And no, it’s not their own sperm they’re removing.

These sea slugs, also known as nudibranchs, are simultaneous hermaphrodites. They have both male and female sex organs and produce both types of gametes: sperm and eggs. When C. reticulatamate, each member of the pair inserts a bit of its penis into the other’s vagina. When the deed is done, each partner can autotomize–spontaneously break off–that bit of its penis, and yet live to mate another day. As in, literally within a day, because behind that bit that broke off are two more bits, waiting to enter into service.

Such features make these little white-speckled red sea creatures fascinating enough. Adding to their allure, they look like squishy underwater bulls wearing flounces. They have a pair of horn-like rhinophores at the front for scent detection and a set of fluffy secondary gills perched like a bustle at the rear.

But such graceful accouterments notwithstanding, this nudibranch gives every sign of living a life full of brutal mating challenges. The fact that it can dispense with a penis and be ready with another within 24 hours suggests that it must mate often to keep up with neighboring sea slug competition.

As with many organisms who don’t have time to waste, the penises of this species have a very specific set of features. Some snakes have cactus-like, terrifying-looking hemipenes, but the C. reticulata penis has backward-pointing spines. And that whole breaking-off-the-penis thing isn’t just shuffling off something old to be able to mate anew. Along with its own bit of penis, the sea slug is also discarding rival sperm that it scraped from its partner during copulation.

Researchers publishing in the Journal of Ethology confirmed this bit of copulatory tool use by analyzing the DNA adherent to the broken off penis after their lab sea slugs copulated. Sure enough, those backward-oriented spines are dragging out rival sperm as the sea slug ditches its own penis. This tactic circumvents storage of sperm from an earlier copulation and helps give the most recent contender an edge in the mating Olympics. It also explains why this nudibranch ditches the penis rather than trying to retract it. The study authors don’t make it sound terribly comfortable:

“Though a long and thorny penis is advantageous in scraping out allo-sperm at copulation, such a penis is difficult to pull back into the body again … and the backward-pointing spines on the penis covered with sperm … will not remove allo-sperm efficiently at the next copulation, like a  VelcroTM tape. Such morphological and functional inconveniency may have made C. reticulata develop a cheap and fragile penis and dispose of it, rather than a robust but expensive one and reuse it.”

Wouldn’t want to go to all the effort of an expensive and resuable penis when cheap replacements look more functional and offer more comfort.

All of this work to find out what a sea slug does with its spiny disposable penis has a point beyond the obvious curiosity value. It suggests intense competition and a high frequency of mating for this species. That means that simultaneous hermaphrodites may have to work as hard as non-hermaphrodite animals to mate successfully.

One narrative to explain simultaneous hermaphroditism is that it evolved against a backdrop of scanty opportunities for mating, either because not enough mates are available or because moving around and finding one isn’t easy. Clearly, this penis-disposing, sperm-scraping species that can copulate in a chain reaction of replaced penises doesn’t seem to fit that description. The authors suggest that this conceptualization should be revisited for C. reticulata.

Here’s How a Dehydrated Penis Will Screw Up Your Sex Life

Drought in vast land (Getty)

Here’s How a Dehydrated Penis Will Screw Up Your Sex Life

By Gigi Engle

* This article is a repost which originally appeared on Brides.com.

Vaginas often get all the attention when it comes to being, ahem, wet or dehydrated. Hydration is vital to a healthy libido and comfortable, pain-free sex for women.

But it’s not only vaginas that can suffer from a lack of H2O. Dehydration definitely DOES mess with male-bodied people and can have all kinds of effects on their penis and sex life.

Brides spoke with two doctors to get some important information and symptoms of dehydrated penises.

And consider this your PSA to stay hydrated; because without it, things get bleak.

Dehydrated penis, dehydrated skin.

For a vulva and vagina, dehydration can lead to a lack of proper lubrication and tearing. While this is hellish on many levels, it isn’t just women who need their H2O. For a man (or any penis-owning person), dehydration can absolutely contribute to discomfort or even pain during sex.

“The skin of the vagina and penis is susceptible to dryness if not taken care of properly. When your body is properly hydrated the outside skin of both sex organs are less prone to dryness,” explains Sherry Ross, a women’s health expert and author of She-ology. The Definitive Guide to Women’s Intimate Health. “Skin dryness involving any part of the body is uncomfortable and annoying, especially when it comes to the sensitive skin of the penis.”

If your partner is experiencing pain or itching during sex, it could be due to skin dryness. “Persistent dryness of the skin of the penis can cause itching, burning and pain which leads to emotional and physical disruptions in daily life activities, including the bedroom,” Ross says.

Men need to drink water and moisturize their bits with lotion or a mild vitamin E oil. All people, regardless of gender, need to take care of their skin.

Man drinking water (Getty)
Getty Images

Dehydration can cause erectile issues.

While there are many things that contribute to ED (environmental, physical, and psychological) dehydration is definitionally a contributing factor in many instances. Ross says that prolonged bouts of dehydration can be directly linked to erectile complications. (Clonazepam)

“Water is vital for every system in our body, making up 60 percent of body weight, so constant replenishing is essential,” Ross tells Brides.

You know how when you go to donate blood they make sure you’ve had enough water and once you’ve filled your vials they give you orange juice? There is a reason for this. “With too little water content in our bodies, our blood flows less easily. With reduced efficiency of blood flow, we can certainly expect issues with erection,” explains Laura Deitsch, resident sexologist of Vibrant, Planned Parenthood’s sex toy e-tailer.

Limit caffeine and alcohol for better sexual experiences.

“Alcohol and caffeine should be consumed in moderation since both cause dehydration,” Ross add,

Stick to one morning cup of coffee, and try to limit intake to that. And you need roughly eight, 8-ounce glasses of water every single day to maintain proper hydration—and more if you’re at the gym during the day.

If you’re not hydrated, ejaculation becomes a Herculean feat.

You know how your body is made of 60 percent water? Well, so is precum and semen. If your partner is having trouble experiencing orgasm, it may be because they are not drinking enough…yes, you guessed it…water.

“Pre-ejaculatory fluid and semen are both made up of primarily water, so being dehydrated can cause a more viscous consistency and make it more difficult to achieve ejaculation,” Deitch says.

Dehydration can affect sperm quality.

Yikes! Hydration is also a key element in the making and production of high-quality sperm.

“Being dehydrated can affect the quantity and quality of sperm production,” Ross explains. “Sperm lives in fluid within the testicles that makes up semen. When the body is dehydrated it can make the semen thicker affecting the quality and quantity of sperm.”

Don’t just sit there, drink up!