When/how to ask this girl out

[needhelp]

I have another thread about this situation so I wont go into much detail. Basically, me and this girl I had a class with met at the bars the other night, had a good time, and came back to my place. We made out for about an hour then she slept over. Thinking back on it, when she was leaving I shouldve suggested we get lunch or something but I didnt.

Anyways, I havent had a true girlfriend in about 6 years, and even then she asked me. Ive never had to ask a girl out before so this type of thing is new to me. I read this article: How to Ask a Girl Out and Always Get a "Yes" | Girls Chase# and in it it suggested saying something like:

Me: We should grab a drink or a bite some time this week.
Her: Yeah, definitely!
Me: When's good for you... what's your schedule look like?
Her: Umm, let's see. I'm really packed most of the week... oh, but I could do, Friday night, or maybe Sunday afternoon?
Me: Okay, great. Sunday afternoon would be perfect. Let's say 1 o'clock maybe?
Her: 1 o'clock works fine.
Me: Perfect. Let's say 1 o'clock then; meet me at my subway station maybe? And we'll grab some food? That sound good?
Her: Okay, that's perfect! I'll see you on Sunday then!
Me: Cool beans. See you Sunday, Christie.



​

So basically let her decide the date and time depending on the schedule and I would decide the place and whatnot. One question I have is how should I do it. Like I said earlier, I really wish I wouldve said something when she was here because it would have been a lot smoother and more natural. Most of the things Ive read suggest that I should call her and have a convo like the one above. We have only communicated via text though, so Im a little confused on whether I should call or text.

I was hoping some ladies on here could give me some insight on how they view a text compared to a call when a guy is asking them out. Also, I understand a little bit of mystery is good, but how long before she might move on? We did what we did Friday night, so it's been 3 days since then. Im asking this here because everything I searched for about asking a girl out was either about a girl you havent done anything with before(Ive made out with her obviously) or a girl you made out with but she was more of a random girl and not a girl you already knew pretty well. So those things didnt relate exactly to my situation.

Anyways, hopefully some ladies can give me some good insight and guys' advice is welcome too.

​

 

[BTBrian]

Theres a couple options that I see.
1) Call her and ask if she wants to go out sometime (best option if you are interested in her long term)
2) Text her and ask if she wants to go out sometime
3) Make plans to go downtown or something with some friends and text or call her and tell her she should meet up with you guys down there.

It doesn't really matter, you have nothing to worry about because she clearly sounds interested in you too. She's probably like "why hasn't he asked me out yet..."

 

[needhelp]

Theres a couple options that I see.
1) Call her and ask if she wants to go out sometime (best option if you are interested in her long term)
2) Text her and ask if she wants to go out sometime
3) Make plans to go downtown or something with some friends and text or call her and tell her she should meet up with you guys down there.

It doesn't really matter, you have nothing to worry about because she clearly sounds interested in you too. She's probably like "why hasn't he asked me out yet..."

I am interested long term. I dont like the third option because Id like it to be just me and her. Im starting to think I need to stop wasting time and just do it.

 

[needhelp]

She works a lot so I kinda feel like I should text her first and see if shes free to talk.

 

[Drummer19]

I always call a woman. It shows confidence in my opinion. I would do option number 1. Plus you get to make the plans at once instead of having a txting conversation where you wait every 10min for a new reply, waiting and worrying that she will text back. Calling her is like saying, hey I am straight up and down to business.

 

[Irishfan]

Well, it is never easy. Just do it! In person

 

[BTBrian]

I am interested long term. I dont like the third option because Id like it to be just me and her. Im starting to think I need to stop wasting time and just do it.

I always call a woman. It shows confidence in my opinion. I would do option number 1. Plus you get to make the plans at once instead of having a txting conversation where you wait every 10min for a new reply, waiting and worrying that she will text back. Calling her is like saying, hey I am straight up and down to business.

Yea just call her, you can text her first to see if she's busy but I'd personally just wait till the evening when you think she's probably not working and call her. That way you surprise her. And if she doesn't answer then just leave a message! I think.

 

[MrBigDick]

Just call her and do it. Don't text.........I know that texting is the new, modern era way to communicate but in my personal experience, women, once they realize you as the man text, it's ALL down hill..........all she'll do is text you. I realize I'm generalizing here but I've spoken with enough women lately to know that almost EVERY single woman I've spoken to in the "getting to know you" phase wants to text......every conversation is by text. It's annoying.

 

[needhelp]

Well heres an update. I texted her, convo went like:

me: hey are u working tonight?
her: no sir
me: do u have a min to talk?
her: im at a friends house, but whats up?
me: i was thinkin we should get a drink or food sometime this week
her: thats cool, i have to work from 9 until 7:30-8 all week but after i can
me: well since were both borderline alcoholics(joke) we should grab a beer or 2 wednesday night
her: sounds good

I was thinking I would text her the day of and see if we're still on for the night. Hopefully she'll come out but like they say, hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

 

[BTBrian]

Good work. Yea just text her the day of and make sure you're still on. I'd say call her but since she's at work that doesn't work.

EDIT: or you could call her tomorrow night to make sure you're still on. I think a lot of girls would really appreciate a quick call.

 

[Brandon85]

I have seen a lot of 'relationships' fizzle because of texting.

Yes. Texting is the 'new' form of dating communication but be careful.

Just ask Tiger. Those things can easily stay around, oh like, forever.

Texting also loses a lot of nuances in a voice conversation.

When one is first dating, her voice should excite you. Get you aroused. Wanting to hear from her more and more. And she should want the same from you.

I have sat beside women who have texted their boyfriends and husbands things like 'love you baby' with absolute boredom and sometimes disgust in their facial expressions. But, one can usually hear unhappy etc inflections in ones voice.

Thus, in my opinion: real men call. Make and set the date.

Now, later on in a relationship, texting can be fun. If you or her is knowingly stuck in a meeting with a room full of people. Sending a risque picture or a dirty suggestion is quite a turn on. It is absolutely incredibly excellent to receive a hot picture of your woman in the middle of something that is not appropriate to receive. Of course, be careful about it. I open my woman's email very cautiously if I receive something from her in the middle of the day.

But get to first, second or third base first. Be motivated and proactive about it. Call her.

Texting is passive in my opinion. And again, in my opinion, real women do not like passive men.

 

[needhelp]

Yea I offered to call but texting seems to be the way people my age do things. Idk how old everyone else is on here but people in my age group 18-24 would probably tell you the same thing. Usually, in my experience, calling comes after there has been an established connection between the two of you. That is because when all you have done is texted a person, a call out of the blue can be awkward.

 

[needhelp]

At the same time though, if all you have ever done is call her, then there is nothing wrong with calling. Texting is just way more convenient and usually the way to go in a college setting.

 

[adiavroxos]

Call her. Texting is just for fun. Nothing serious can be discussed through texting. Calling her will make her happy and feel special, which are the 2 best things a woman would ever want from the man she likes. You have nothing to lose.

 

[BTBrian]

Call her. Texting is just for fun. Nothing serious can be discussed through texting. Calling her will make her happy and feel special, which are the 2 best things a woman would ever want from the man she likes. You have nothing to lose.

Yup I'm 20 and I always just text girls but if there's a girl I actually like you can be damn sure I'm going to make a commitment to calling her to ask her out, girls will appreciate a call a million times more than a text because it shows a truly standout guy. Everyone texts, make her think you're one in a million not one of the millions

 

[MrBigDick]

I have seen a lot of 'relationships' fizzle because of texting.

Yes. Texting is the 'new' form of dating communication but be careful.

Just ask Tiger. Those things can easily stay around, oh like, forever.

Texting also loses a lot of nuances in a voice conversation.

When one is first dating, her voice should excite you. Get you aroused. Wanting to hear from her more and more. And she should want the same from you.

I have sat beside women who have texted their boyfriends and husbands things like 'love you baby' with absolute boredom and sometimes disgust in their facial expressions. But, one can usually hear unhappy etc inflections in ones voice.

Thus, in my opinion: real men call. Make and set the date.

Now, later on in a relationship, texting can be fun. If you or her is knowingly stuck in a meeting with a room full of people. Sending a risque picture or a dirty suggestion is quite a turn on. It is absolutely incredibly excellent to receive a hot picture of your woman in the middle of something that is not appropriate to receive. Of course, be careful about it. I open my woman's email very cautiously if I receive something from her in the middle of the day.

But get to first, second or third base first. Be motivated and proactive about it. Call her.

Texting is passive in my opinion. And again, in my opinion, real women do not like passive men.

I gave this woman my cell number last night knowing FULL well what was to come. Sure enough, all we did for the rest of the night was text. That sh*t just gets on my nerves. I don't know if they're trying to be careful because of the whole online thing and them not wanting a stalker...........who knows. All I know is text after mindless text just gets boring to me. I realize I'm in the EARLY phases of getting to know this woman but really?

 

[needhelp]

Call her. Texting is just for fun. Nothing serious can be discussed through texting. Calling her will make her happy and feel special, which are the 2 best things a woman would ever want from the man she likes. You have nothing to lose.

Well, Ive already set it up via text. To be honest I dont like doing either, I prefer in person. That way things just happen. Before you call you try to think of what to say, and the same thing when you text.

Another way I think about it is how it affects my personal state of mind. In the past Ive tended to like a girl too much, try too hard to get her to like me, and then she loses interest. So I try to do the same thing that I did before, which in this case was in person interactions and quick texts.

 

[Toadstool]

I gave this woman my cell number last night knowing FULL well what was to come. Sure enough, all we did for the rest of the night was text. That sh*t just gets on my nerves. I don't know if they're trying to be careful because of the whole online thing and them not wanting a stalker...........who knows. All I know is text after mindless text just gets boring to me. I realize I'm in the EARLY phases of getting to know this woman but really?

So why do you do it? Nothing's compelling you to respond to her.
You can stop texting one night, then pick it up another day and ask to meet up.

 

[MrBigDick]

So why do you do it? Nothing's compelling you to respond to her.
You can stop texting one night, then pick it up another day and ask to meet up.

Because I hate leaving people hanging when they text me..........why do I do it? Because I'm an idiot......

 

[needhelp]

I gave this woman my cell number last night knowing FULL well what was to come. Sure enough, all we did for the rest of the night was text. That sh*t just gets on my nerves. I don't know if they're trying to be careful because of the whole online thing and them not wanting a stalker...........who knows. All I know is text after mindless text just gets boring to me. I realize I'm in the EARLY phases of getting to know this woman but really?

Just dont respond for a little while. Honestly what I started doing was leaving my phone somewhere, because it would drive me crazy waiting on someone to text back. Eventually she will start waiting before texting and it wont be as big of a problem.