Need some advise, becoming depressed fast.

[Qarzan]

I'm considering polyamory, myself. The thing is, you have to be OK with it first, THEN you can enter into a polyamorous "open" relationship. If you go the other way around, you'll always be questioning your motives for entering into it in the first place. But, that's just me, since I know how I work.

Good luck!

 

[sweetie52]

Reply from a woman here-I think knowing myself,and all my parts, really took the pressure off of my partner in having to Give me an orgasm. I took on the responsibility(and fun) myself. Try not to worry about giving your girl an orgasm. She should take some responsibility for her own satisfaction .

 

[starfucker_777]

Really loving this thread because I'm in a very similar position to the OP.

I just have one minor difference: the girl I'm crazy about hates being in a "relationship" and wants to be polygamous. I think she still likes me, but like the OP, I'm still battling insecurities about the guys who've come before me because I tried twice to get her off and failed both times. Then, in what I can see now as a really stupid move, I became mopey and non-responsive to her, even though she TOLD me that dick size didn't matter to her and I know she's telling the truth. I went to her place yesterday to see her in bed with the other guy she's been seeing and was overcome with a jealousy and anger I've never experienced to such a degree before. I don't know if I did this right, but I didn't say anything about it and said I'd come by again tomorrow.

I'm considering doing what some of you guys have suggested and take her out somewhere or give her a massage tonight to see if she's still down to have sex. God, this is killing me.

Okay, as first of all, you need to stop being jealous and needy cause otherwise, it's not gonna happen.. I know it's not easy when you see her with other guys but you've started falling in the friend-zone ( according to your message, but I really think you're already in there )... You need to decide what do you really want from her and whether she's worth it or not..

You're feeling those feelings towards her for more reasons...

The first one is, I'm sure, that she's the only girl you've been moving around lately.. Just find another one and you'll forget her..
The second reason why you feel jealous is, cause you've put in more effort in that whole "relationship" than she has , and you're not getting it back from her, so you try harder, and harder, and harder, and what does she do? NOTHING.. Why is that so? She doesn't need to put effort in it cause you're doing all the work around here, and she sees here that she doesn't need to do anything to keep you around.. That's where you come off needy, that is why you won't get into her pants, and that's why she does that to you..
The third reason is probably that she doesn't sees you as a potential sex partner and that could be for more reasons to..

Those above are some main reasons you, and all guys whit the similar problem, don't sleep with the girl of their dreams.. But let me tell you something, you can have any girl you want!! Like David DeAngelo said "Attraction isn't a choice".. And that's true, you know why? I'll tell you..

Remember when you walk around the city, and you see all those girls, you won't say, "I like this girl" , and then to another "her I don't like".. NO! It's nothing that you chose, it's something that happens all by it self.. The most you can do is accept it and go with it or you can deny it, but you can't help your self if you like her or don't... The same thing is with women.. If you pull the right triggers, she can't help her self... She is going to like you.. The most she can do is deny it, but it's hard to fight it for a short time, and impossible for a long time.. You just have to know what those triggers are..

So now I have to go, but if you want, I can tell you when I come back.. It's no problem for me, cause I've been trough all of this, and have failed at every single level... It took me 2 and a half years to get where I wanna be.. So I know the feeling, and I know it's a crappy one, so I'll help you gladly if you want..

 

[dustinshaw98]

Foreplay can match the orgasm. You can even ask her to masturbate while you are engaged in foreplay.

 

[GU1N3SS]

Pardon the blunt honesty, but if sex doesn't improve within a couple of months (6 months tops), uproot your stump and plant it in more favorable soil. She may only "love" you for six more months anyway, and if you have to part ways instead of parting her labia, buy her a cake, write "Orgasm!" with the frosting, and she will never be able to say she never received an orgasm from you. (She may also figure herself out and orgasm before then). It took a year for me to give my wife an orgasm, but I can get her there by going down on her and staying there for an hour. Every woman is different.

 

[sabor tooth]

Personally , I say shes to blame first of all through terrible communication if she's only had one and through not figuring out her own body . Pretty bloody stupid really I mean If I'd only ever had one I'd be sure as hell figuring out what floats my boat let me tell ya and I'd sure as hell be talking about it with my partner too , if things are out they can be turned into fun.
yYour size , that's ok Jesus , that's average if not better , there'll always be better or worse , someone else , in males AND females , whats she like anyway , some perfect model type and with the perfect cunt and body as well or what ?

 

[MisterGeo]

As for her.. She does not masturbate (thinks its weird and gross, refuses to actually), and as mush as she likes having sex it's still a mystery for her. When i ask her what she likes in bed she'll just pretty much just give me the round about answer "i like you inside me."

Dude. You're not the problem. She is. You have a lot more patience than I do.

And the other stuff that's in your head about comparing to other lovers. Guess what? You can't. None of us can. So what? She's with you right now. Enjoy her. No matter who we are there is always some other guy who was a better lover or whatever. Irrelevant. When she talked about her former boyfriends, she wasn't asking you to perform better than they did. That sh*t was all up in your head.

 

[ColtAR-15]

Exactly, having a bigger than average penis is just icing on the cake.

Unfortunately most prefer icing on their cake, but cake can be ok without.

 

[ColtAR-15]

Hey Ark. I swear your girlfriend and my wife must be related. That she never masturbates and the part about her kind of being sexually naive just sounds so familiar only my wife was a virgin. At first she was afraid to even touch me and it took me giving her a thumb job to give her, her first orgasm.

 

[ark]

Personally , I say shes to blame first of all through terrible communication if she's only had one and through not figuring out her own body . Pretty bloody stupid really I mean If I'd only ever had one I'd be sure as hell figuring out what floats my boat let me tell ya and I'd sure as hell be talking about it with my partner too , if things are out they can be turned into fun.
yYour size , that's ok Jesus , that's average if not better , there'll always be better or worse , someone else , in males AND females , whats she like anyway , some perfect model type and with the perfect cunt and body as well or what ?

I try and talk it out most of the time.. and i get "I feel like your trying way to hard." Which just leads to a dead end.. But yes shes one of those girls who is beautiful, practically perfect everything. No matter where she goes, she gets hit on kinda girl. Not to say she likes to get hit on, she just cant help it.

Dude. You're not the problem. She is. You have a lot more patience than I do.

And the other stuff that's in your head about comparing to other lovers. Guess what? You can't. None of us can. So what? She's with you right now. Enjoy her. No matter who we are there is always some other guy who was a better lover or whatever. Irrelevant. When she talked about her former boyfriends, she wasn't asking you to perform better than they did. That sh*t was all up in your head.

Thanks Hotrod, hearing stuff like that helps. I honestly try not to dwell on stuff like this but sometimes i can't help that it gets to me.

Hey Ark. I swear your girlfriend and my wife must be related. That she never masturbates and the part about her kind of being sexually naive just sounds so familiar only my wife was a virgin. At first she was afraid to even touch me and it took me giving her a thumb job to give her, her first orgasm.

Thumb job eh? Question, does your wife masturbate now? And if so.. how did you talk her into trying it

 

[ColtAR-15]

I try and talk it out most of the time.. and i get "I feel like your trying way to hard." Which just leads to a dead end.. But yes shes one of those girls who is beautiful, practically perfect everything. No matter where she goes, she gets hit on kinda girl. Not to say she likes to get hit on, she just cant help it.



Thanks Hotrod, hearing stuff like that helps. I honestly try not to dwell on stuff like this but sometimes i can't help that it gets to me.



Thumb job eh? Question, does your wife masturbate now? And if so.. how did you talk her into trying it

Nope she doesn't masturbate now or ever and knowing her I believe her. She does orgasm from sex pretty easily and has some good ones but it was a long time being married before she realized what her vagina can do. Like I said I had to give her my thumb to give her, her first then it has been orgasm city every since.

 

[Steve23]

If her only orgasm was from her ex, and she can't even give her self one then it's a good chance it's her own problem and she should get to know her body better. But if she has no problem and not blaming you about it then what's the problem if your both still enjoying sex and eachother, if she only had 1 orgasm in her life and shes still alive then shes doing fine.

 

[ColtAR-15]

I would suggest giving her a good G-spot massage with your thumb. Thats what did it for my wife. I also pretty much agree with what Steve said also.

 

[hotlips4077]

Some Good advice & great techniques on here. I wonder if her ex made the orgasm happen or if she did. . .most of my female friends have never had a guy give them an orgasm during sex. Its either been during oral sex, giving themselves manual stimulation, or girl on top position. FYI not all women masturbate or use any toys . . .

Why do men let past lovers bother them so much? I understand we all want to be the best but what matters is you are with that person right now. Remember ex's are ex's for a reason.

 

[MrBigDick]

this happens to almost every guy at some point or another, usually the first time his girlfriend tells him about her past parteners. one really big guy is all it takes, and most girls have had at least one. even to the big guys, or the great lovers.

my advice is this: don't push the issue with her. dont let it change anything. she is with you for a reason, remember this. she wont leave you because of your dick, she might leave you if you are mopey all the time and dwell on your dick. don't ask for more details. don't try to compete with these guys... the truth is if shes only had one orgasm, its probably because she doesn't know how. has nothing to do with a lack of skill or size, it has to do with a bit of technique and her knowing how to bring herself to it.

the best thing to do is have a lot more sex with her. get good at it with her. don't try to imitate porn... think passionate. go down on her more. figure out how it works. become a great lover and you don't need a big dick. start working the PE and you'll get one of those too.

don't stress it.

This has never happened to me...............I don't ask because I don't care..........she's with me and that's all that ever matters to me.

However, as to the OP's original post, bro, someway, somehow you're gonna have to find a way to dig yourself out of the whole that you dug for yourself mentally speaking. As has been suggested, talk to her and find out what she likes and doesn't like and go from there. When I first divorced, I felt much the same way you do now, but thanks to PE and friends and years of maturing, I survived and am now on top of my game. You'll get there.

 

[Steve23]

Some Good advice & great techniques on here. I wonder if her ex made the orgasm happen or if she did. . .most of my female friends have never had a guy give them an orgasm during sex. Its either been during oral sex, giving themselves manual stimulation, or girl on top position. FYI not all women masturbate or use any toys . . .

Why do men let past lovers bother them so much? I understand we all want to be the best but what matters is you are with that person right now. Remember ex's are ex's for a reason.

99.9% of women masturbate.