First obstacle help...

[nibbles]

Okay so I literally last seconds when it comes to sex and so want to increase how long I last majorly. I've got a fleshlight stu and was going to attempt some edging with it tonight.

Lubed everything up all ready, got hard, entered the fleshlight and boom I blew my load straight away.

For learning purposes I placed my finger between my anus and balls to feel for any kegels and noticed something which I think could be a main cause of my premature ejaculation. When I entered the fleshlight as I got deeper my penis suddenly pulled a huge kegel (which is what I felt) and I lost all control shooting me up from "Ready for action" to "Ejaculation".

If that kegel hadn't have happened i'm sure I could have been thrusting in and out for a while without any trouble. I've ejaculated upon entry many times with a girl but never knew why until now and when I don't ejaculate upon entry I will after the first few thrusts. IT'S THAT HUGE UNCONTROLLABLE KEGEL!!!

What can I do?

I think it's important for you to know that I've been practicing deep breathing and I was actually deep breathing whilst attempting to use the fleshlight and I still had this huge involuntary kegel that took me straight over the edge. That kegel I did is the first step to beating premature ejaculation for me so please share your thoughts on what I can do.

Thank you so much everyone

 

[Drummer19]

There are probably more arousal symptoms you are getting besides the hard involuntary kegal! Reread the beggining of the arousal techniques thread and figure out what else your body is doing.
Personally edging reduced my involuntary kegal but only without visual stimulation. Once I get over-aroused my involuntary kegal gets out of control... well until recently. Just saying practice is probably needed. Keep your head up and think positive!

 

[nibbles]

I had no visual stimulation at all. I put all the lights off and kept my mind focused on my breathing :/ I swear I wasn't even fully erect either when I blew my load :/ I seem to ejaculate quite often when I'm still quite soft :/

The sensation of the fleshlight was obviously too strong but i literally just masturbated to a good enough erection to stick in it and blew it straight away. My mind was clear, I had no distractions and still that one kegel pushed me over the edge.
Could weak reverse kegels something to so with this? And is there any way I can find out how strong my normal kegels are compared to my reverse ones?

 

[Drummer19]

I was the SAME way when I started edging, kegaling, and reverse kegaling to fix my Pre-E. With edging and balancing my kegals over the course of 4 months I was back to normal when edging my imagination. I wouldn't add ANY other type of stimulation to edging until you can edge for a good while to your imagination. That is the first step. It takes a while but you have to be in it for the long time Nibbles.

 

[nibbles]

It's really nice to know that there are people like me that have overcome the issue Thank you Drummer

So what would you suggest for me to do then? Could you possibly give me some kind of routine to start with? And also how do I find out how balanced my kegels are?

Thank you so much Drummer, I'm will to do it My birthday in just over 4 months so would be great to see some improvement by then

 

[Drummer19]

I am glad to help! I am not great at beginner kegal and reverse kegal routines though! All I know is to do 40% k AND 60% RK. Pegasus and other great members should be able to guide you in the right direction with that. You can accomplish a lot in 4 months!

 

[nibbles]

Okay that's fine Is there anything else alongside kegel exercises you'd advise me to do?

 

[Drummer19]

Start with my arousal techniques thread. I just updated it.

 

[nibbles]

I actually printed out your arousal thread but seeing as you updated it I'll print it out again do you think using a fleshlight is a good idea when edging?

 

[Drummer19]

I have never used a fleshlight for edging myself. The way I see it if it makes you over-aroused to use it, then learning to control your arousal with it sounds like it could work to a certain degree. I believe learning to control your arousal in multiple situations will allow you control it in any situation. If edging to the fleshlight makes you intensely aroused then edging to it sounds like a good idea. If edging to the fleshlight doesn't really arouse you too much then I don't see it helping much.

 

[nibbles]

It definitely makes me over aroused but i don't know if it's too much :\ If I shoot up from 1 to a 9 level in amount of seconds wouldn't that make it extremely hard to pin point my levels?

On the other hand masturbating I can control my levels very easy, maybe too easy :\

 

[Drummer19]

What do you mean too easy? I think it is GREAT that you can control your erection with your imagination! I couldn't evern get it up to my imagination for a whole month after trying! And then, finally when I could get it up, it took me 3 months of edging and kegal balancing to finally be able to control my erection somewhat. So the fact that you already have imagination down to me is a good thing. I would say to master less intense forms of arousal first, and then try the flesh-light again in a few months. Try listening to porn and reading porn. They are less intense and will help you.

Since you are following the arousal techniques program consider edging to the fleshlight between steps 8 and 9, when you will have much more control over your arousal.

 

[nibbles]

When masturbating i just literally masturbate I don't imagine again but I can quite easily tune in and control my arousal levels. I can feel when I'm at a 7 and when the sensation is getting stronger and bring it back down by slowing everything down, breathing or if i have to stopping for a few moments.

 

[OldRocker]

nibbles,

You didn't mention lube. Do you use lube for your edging sessions? It is recommended for edging as well as with the STU.

 

[nibbles]

Yes I do use lube for both

 

[Drummer19]

Notice what you just said nibbles. You DON"T imagine when your edging to nothing. That is why you can control it. Your mind isn't racing to the finish line. Try to think of nothing while listening or watching porn. Ill bet it's very hard! Your thoughts have much to do with arousal. Try thinking things out while aroused, or before you get aroused.

 

[nibbles]

So should I be thinking about stuff when masturbating or not? I know it very hard, almost impossible to keep a clear mind when listening or watching porn. Do I imagine stuff when I'm masturbating or should I try to keep my head clear?