Young, insecure male.....

[ColtAR-15]

Well, she has been telling me stories of this particular man since I met her. He obviously hurt her a lot. Every negative story I have ever heard her tell about men is about this guy. At one time I thought the stories were from other boyfriends, but they are not. He hit her, bruised her, etc. She complained about it. I assume she liked the sex, at least at first, cause why else would she do it? I really don't think that she would enjoy having her picture taken....she blushed in clothed photos for fuck's sake....even while drunk. She dumped him after only two weeks....once she found out about the other women....when his friend (who, a year later, became her boyfriend for six months) showed her the photos of the other women he was banging. She said she was very angry.

Joe it sounds like she is basically a victim. I would think that if you really have feelings for her that you would sympathize with her and not treat her like some piece of sh*t. And to hell with the photo if it even exists. I am really starting to feel bad for her.

 

[spanky]

Here and now doesn't matter so much really with women....not unless you like being a consolation-prize. I would rather be alone forever than have a used-up, exploited woman, however nice she may be. The past DOES matter. It informs everything we do. Women just like to say "the past doesn't matter" because they don't want the men that love them to think about how slutty they were.

Here and now is the ONLY thing that matters. To anyone. Because you can't change the past and you can only wait for the future. Shut the hell up about being a consolation prize, and then judging women as used up and exploited. Get off your high horse mate and come back down to the same earth the rest of us inhabit. We all get exploited from time to time. We all do things we regret from time to time. I'm sorry joe, you're WRONG. The past really doesn't matter. Not in this way, What matters is what she took from the experience and presents to you today. In the here and now. And what do you mean by slutty? Is that an insult? A convenient excuse for you to pump yourself up as "better than that" like it matters?

I did this to myself though, and I admit that freely. She is just naive, and can't read me very well. If she knew what I was like on the inside, she would have fucked off on day one, but I am such a good actor about this stuff, she only thinks that I am a bit insecure. To my credit, I never knew I would ever feel this way about women. She thinks that she sees something in my underneath.....something that I don't see in myself. There aint nothing there. It's just emptiness covered over by hollow smiles. Didn't used to be like that. I used to have a soul. Lost it somewhere along the way. I guess I am a manic-depressive. I don't feel any joy at all, and can barely will myself to go to work. I even avoid alcohol and pop vitamins, but nothing seems to make me feel better about myself or people in general. Truth be told, right now, if I got hit by a bus I wouldn't complain. I'm sure not many here would either by now. I understand. I really do.

Look I feel for you man. But please get down off your high horse. What makes you better than her? All this is just illusory ego crap, we're all the same, all in this together, in the same boat, working it out as we go, and then we all die. Tell us about your mistakes instead. I don't believe you never made any. Nobody cares that you screwed up. But we all do that you might be about to.

if I dump her in a horrible fashion, than I am more strong and alpha than he is.I win.

No you'll be an arse. You lose. Because you care about who's "better" for other people's benefits. What an AFC thing to say.

 

[joeaverage]

Oh, btw. Every has "a past" eh? Where's mine then? I have only slept with for women. Is that even considered a "past"? Where's my dark, twisted, shameful sex stories? I am so fucking inadequate. I don't even have anything that I can classify as a mistake under my belt. Aside from the porn addiction, I have never made a big mistake in my entire life. I have to work quickly to get some nasty "past" so I can join the club that everyone else seems to be a member of, except for me. Fuck, I thought losing my virginity was enough.

 

[joeaverage]

I'm not better than her. I just, for whatever reason, never got to join the club of the "sexually liberated". for whatever reason, I was never granted access to that adult world that everyone else gets to inhabit so easily. No, I am not better than her, but, with the exception of the porn addiction, I don't have any skeletons in my closet. I have never been exploited by anyone, never backed down from a fight, never done anything that can be classified as a big mistake. Not by me, and not by the world. Why is it that I can manage to work and interact with the world and not make mistakes like everyone else? I guess because I use my brain in ways that others do not. I NEVER act on impulse. I always think everything through before I make a decision. If more people did that, this world would be a way nicer place to live.

 

[spanky]

Oh, btw. Every has "a past" eh? Where's mine then? I have only slept with for women. Is that even considered a "past"? Where's my dark, twisted, shameful sex stories? I am so fucking inadequate. I don't even have anything that I can classify as a mistake under my belt. Aside from the porn addiction, I have never made a big mistake in my entire life. I have to work quickly to get some nasty "past" so I can join the club that everyone else seems to be a member of, except for me. Fuck, I thought losing your virginity was enough.

That's a past. I don't know what you did with those other three women. OK, so I figure you probably didn't play out some outragous kink just because of the way you're saying this, but so what? Imagine you met a women, she's perfect in every way, the most angelic face, perfect little body, heart of gold and a past as pure as honey.

But she can't be with you becase of her super-christian beliefs and you're not a virgin.

You're gonna feel pretty hard done by by your past then aren't you.

 

[Closed039]

Have you been drinking?...your posts are coming off extremely narcissistic. I am sure that everybody on this thread wants to help you, but is difficult to sympathize and help you after considering your more recent posts. I have not read all of this thread, but it seems as though things started out with a legitimate question and have somehow devolved into an exploration of and/or demand for recognition/validation of your self worth.

My advice would be to pump the breaks before acting as impulsively as you have been expressing your thoughts here, and let the dust settle. Then I would re-evaluate your situation and re-read the advice that has been given to you here.

 

[joeaverage]

Well, not making this up at all, the first time I ever had sex, the girl got me to slap her, bite her, pull her hair, fuck her face and fuck her in the ass etc. I had bite marks all over my body and blood on me from her nails. I was weirded out by it. The second girl liked to have sex in her car while people would drive by. She liked to have sex in places where we could get caught. The third girl was very inexperienced and got clingy afterwards, and I didn't pursue her further....and this one I met at a party. All these guys were after her and I just remember going up to her, stealing her from this short dude and dancing with her and then making out with her for an hour on the couch. The next day, there were photos of us on fb making out. It was really embarassing, cause we were both so drunk we didn't know people were snapping photos. She was in my lap and everyhing. After that, we tried to have sex in my car, but I was too drunk. That's how the relationship started. I guess I don't need to worry about being beta....she chose me the night of the party over a whole host of guys...who, I might add, tried the same thing with her that night and failed. She also told me right at the start that she had never done it without a condom before and she was nervous about it, but we still had sex without one. Don't know if that is the truth, but I assumed it was, cause why would she bring it up unless it was because she had reservations about it?

Anyways, does that count as a "past" at all?

 

[joeaverage]

I am absolutely hammered right now. A bottle of vodka and six beers over the course of the evening. Hope my grammar is intact. Feel free to stop reading if I am offending you. I know I am a douche. I know I deserve to be alone. I feel pretty damn alone right now.

 

[spanky]

Well, not making this up at all, the first time I ever had sex, the girl got me to slap her, bite her, pull her hair, fuck her face and fuck her in the ass etc. I had bite marks all over my body and blood on me from her nails. I was weirded out by it. The second girl liked to have sex in her car while people would drive by. She liked to have sex in places where we could get caught. The third girl was very inexperienced and got clingy afterwards, and I didn't pursue her further....and this one I met at a party. All these guys were after her and I just remember going up to her, stealing her from this short dude and dancing with her and then making out with her for an hour on the couch. The next day, there were photos of us on fb making out. It was really embarassing, cause we were both so drunk we didn't know people were snapping photos. She was in my lap and everyhing. After that, we tried to have sex in my car, but I was too drunk. That's how the relationship started. I guess I don't need to worry about being beta....she chose me the night of the party over a whole host of guys...who, I might add, tried the same thing with her that night and failed. She also told me right at the start that she had never done it without a condom before and she was nervous about it, but we still had sex without one. Don't know if that is the truth, but I assumed it was, cause why would she bring it up unless it was because she had reservations about it?

Anyways, does that count as a "past" at all?

Lol.. yeah it does. Introduce me to the first one one day would ya

Look, I'm being quite hard on you up there I know. We're different guys with different outlooks and tastes, and I'm a good bit older than you ... Just take it as an opinion, cause all the advice in the world is no good if you can't make the decisions you need to make on your own.

You don't deserve to be alone mate. I think you've got some mixed up feelings about this, and I think you're over sensitive to things that I just don't think matter at all, but you're obviously a clever guy, articulate, thoughtful, sensitive. Man, you deserve a wonderful woman.

Now stop beating yourself up.. you're only playing yourself, Jeru

 

[joeaverage]

No, Spanky, I am dead serious about my virginity loss story. I mean, I guess I wasn't bleeding profusely, but I did need a couple band-aids on my chest. Man, she actually scared the crap out of me. Also projectile vomited on me a couple hours later. I never called her back. Lol.

I am drinking water now, and a bit less intoxicated. I'm supposed to be in France in less than a month, to spend new years with her and her family in Paris. Christ, what have I gotten myself into? She likes me enough to introduce me to her family. Apparently, her family has never met one of her boyfriends ever.

One day, early on, she said she was so happy to finally be in a normal relationship. Oh sh*t. I can't do this to her. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

 

[spanky]

No, Spanky, I am dead serious about my virginity loss story. I know you don't believe me, but that's the way it went down. I wouldn't believe it either though, so I understand. Man, she actually scared the crap out of me.

I didn't think you were lying or making it up at all.. just saying that kinda floats my boat. We're all different, hey

 

[joeaverage]

Oh, cool. You know, I might be screwed up, but if it weren't for this forum, I would have NO ONE to communicate to, and I think it is a blessing. Thanks for being there dude. There's something amazing about strangers who spend time to try and help someone off of a sinking ship. Time to collapse.

 

[Slow deep and hard]

I really think you should stay with this girl for now

2 month in after i meet my current wife she also told me that she ones had a f... friend , when i saw on fb that he was a tall hansome black dude that almost ruined me because of my penis insecurity and i keept seeing him f... her when i closed my eyes and it almost drow me mad , but there was somthing sweet about this girl and i decided that if i left her i would regret it because i would just be giving into my fears.


Long story but it was the best choice i ever made, we are a farytale happy couple now and every day im happy i stayed.
I could never settel with enyone in the past , but this girl just dos it for me but it toke 4 month before i feel in love an let her in.

What im trying to say is , give it time your problem gets better with time, and you dont know yet if this girl is the best thing that ever happen to you.

Real love can cure most things

 

[joeaverage]

This post has been edited by the poster.

 

[CUSP82]

That post is crossing the line big time. I suggest you go back and edit NOW before I get pissed! If you don't know what to edit that you don't deserve to be here.

 

[someone_like_u]

Jungle-sex, seriously?!?! WOW!!

At the rate you're going, you'll never find a girl that will please you due to all your insecurities

Maybe you should read back over all your posts and you'll see yourself in a different light.....

 

[spanky]

I'm just going to say one thing. Very very nearly every woman you will ever meet will have slept with someone else. And enjoyed it a lot. That's life my friend. Deal with it.

 

[joeaverage]

Edits made.

 

[Steve23]

You need help.

 

[ColtAR-15]

Tijor again?