Wife refusal to have sex?

[hawkua]

Thank you mistydawn for your comments they are quire relevant and I know what you are saying from the bottom of your heart especially what happened to your Mum. No one is exempt from this disease nor other unfortunately nor one is prepared to face the devils even myself with 12 years knowledge of advanced ovarian cancer research prepared to what was coming.
I love my wife and she is a very tough woman no many will front up such painful experience without buckling and with high probability of dying. My dilemma was Why would my wife has to die is such pain? Dying is bad and before my wife got admitted to palliative my best friend died of lung fibrosis he could not take a breath and looked like a cadaver before his time was up even though I was his attorney at health I have to give the order to disconnect his supporting system so he could die within the 24 hours. Dying in pain and extreme pain is much different and that is the bond that I currently have with my wife I married her when she was 16 and virgin she stayed all her life besides me for bad or worst so I feel strongly about this if you can understand me. I do not want a relationship nor I'll ever will. The thoughts cross my mind now that I miss her sexual flirting and final fireworks. Sex was great then and will always remain on the back of my head. Now I have to acknowledge that things are not easy even when nothing happens.
Thank you for your understanding and suggestion that I really take on board

 

[mistydawn]

Thank you mistydawn for your comments they are quire relevant and I know what you are saying from the bottom of your heart especially what happened to your Mum. No one is exempt from this disease nor other unfortunately nor one is prepared to face the devils even myself with 12 years knowledge of advanced ovarian cancer research prepared to what was coming.
I love my wife and she is a very tough woman no many will front up such painful experience without buckling and with high probability of dying. My dilemma was Why would my wife has to die is such pain? Dying is bad and before my wife got admitted to palliative my best friend died of lung fibrosis he could not take a breath and looked like a cadaver before his time was up even though I was his attorney at health I have to give the order to disconnect his supporting system so he could die within the 24 hours. Dying in pain and extreme pain is much different and that is the bond that I currently have with my wife I married her when she was 16 and virgin she stayed all her life besides me for bad or worst so I feel strongly about this if you can understand me. I do not want a relationship nor I'll ever will. The thoughts cross my mind now that I miss her sexual flirting and final fireworks. Sex was great then and will always remain on the back of my head. Now I have to acknowledge that things are not easy even when nothing happens.
Thank you for your understanding and suggestion that I really take on board

Sounds like you may have come to the resolve that the sex life you had with your wife is over and you do not want to go elsewhere. Am I right? That is good. Going to someone else for sex really is a last resort kind of thing. My father wouldn't have done that because he loves my mom but also he has strong religious beliefs. I am glad you are sticking by your wife. My brother and uncle both left their wives and families for sex. It caused so much grief. I wish they had just had an affair. It wasn't worth all the pain their wives, kids and extended family went through.

 

[hawkua]

Yes I see your point mistydawn.
No no fear from me I'll never leave my wife she is too precious to me and I lover her the way she is I have a family to look after.
this may have somehow wreck to a degree my sense of morality but I have never been religious. Having a casual sex encounter will not change things for me a great deal and I prefer it that way rather than enterering into a relationships you know yourself that women are possessive and become attached to someone they get to know so I'll stir away from that.

 

[Steve23]

Can you have normal conversations with her or do you find you have to walk on egg shells about stuff to talk about with her? Like you say she flirts with you but have you asked her if she wants to be intimate even if its not vaginal intercourse or is she not in the mood at all? And you said shes not in phycial pain anymore either right? From what I read it seems you dont ask her questions only think ive seen was that she flirts sometimes. But if she loves you and you love her mood or not, she can still be intimate with you if shes feeling well I guess. But really I dont know, never been in a situation like yours so I just babbling

 

[kingpole]

What kind of surgeries did she have, hysteriectomies? You need to come to the point.

 

[hawkua]

What kind of surgeries did she have, hysteriectomies? You need to come to the point.

Not hysterectomies it is called full bilateral radical hysterectomy salpingo oorphorectomy is often performed to patients with advanced stage of ovarian/endometrial cancers III and IV are advanced stages the cancer level can get to 1000 my wife had 950 she passed that battle.
They have already mentioned elsewhere in this thread
What do you mean by coming to the point?Can you clarify please?

 

[mistydawn]

You have been asked a couple times if your wife has told you no, or exactly what? Have you talked to her?

 

[hawkua]

You have been asked a couple times if your wife has told you no, or exactly what? Have you talked to her?

Now I know exactly how she feels so now I have forget the sexual side

 

[Total_Honesty]

Maybe she could let you see another woman for sex if she can't or doesn't want it. I knew this guy who's wife was too busy for sex. She let him sleep with a woman as long as he didn't get an STD, get her pregnant, or leave her for the other woman. Their lives worked out and I thought that maybe you could give it a try.

 

[BigO]

I am just popping in here to say I wish you and your wife the best, I hope some how you can find a way to be happy and stay together.

 

[mistydawn]

Now I know exactly how she feels so now I have forget the sexual side

I guess that means she is a no go. That is rough. Gotta be hard for a man to accept. Sex for a man is a thirst that can never be quenched.

 

[GTO]

I guess that means she is a no go. That is rough. Gotta be hard for a man to accept. Sex for a man is a thirst that can never be quenched.

Yes it can. When you are truly and deeply in love (nothing superficial but true unconditional love) then sex isn't as big a deal as you may make it to be. The connection goes deeper than just that ...

 

[mistydawn]

Yes it can. When you are truly and deeply in love (nothing superficial but true unconditional love) then sex isn't as big a deal as you may make it to be. The connection goes deeper than just that ...

This guy loves his wife and sex is still a big deal. He is on here talking about his sexual thirst being unquenched. So???? I don't think I am wrong.

 

[MrBigDick]

I can be madly, deeply in love with a woman and still want sex. While sex is not a good basis for any relationship, it certainly adds to it. JMO.

 

[CUSP82]

Misty I'll go along with you. Men want sex, at least until a few minutes after we die. Now the problem arises when one partner is no longer interested in sex for either physical ,emotional, or a combination of reasons; that is where love comes in. Do I leave the one I love or make trouble because they cannot do something I want? Love provides the answer.

 

[DOA]

I guess that means she is a no go. That is rough. Gotta be hard for a man to accept. Sex for a man is a thirst that can never be quenched.

This guy loves his wife and sex is still a big deal. He is on here talking about his sexual thirst being unquenched. So???? I don't think I am wrong.

GettinThereOK was responding to your first comment above where you generalized us as "a man" then you defended that statement by saying "this guy" said so and so.

You're always on here talking about how men do this and that, how men think this and that. It's quite tiresome. Not all men think and feel the same way. We are individuals with different values, personalities, and beliefs...just like women are. You are constantly on this forum looking for individual men who say things you disagree with so that you can affirm your belief that all men feel the same way. Can you not attribute those things to just that individual who said it without painting us all with the same brush?

As for the OP, you're being unfairly critical of him. He's spent years taking care of his wife, staying by her side, doing what a good husband should do...and he's stated he has no intentions of leaving her...and you still accuse him of only thinking of himself just because he has his own needs? What are you, the thought police? He can't even wish to have sex? As if women never wish to have sex if they were in his shoes? Please.

 

[BigO]

This is such a tough situation I can not even say what I would do. I like to think I would stay with the one I love but Who can honestly say what they would do in a similar situation. I know if she was willing to be a part of what ever I have to do to satify the basic sexual needs I could stay.
If she decided that there would be absolutely zero involvement on her part I would have to go. I know some will think I am shallow but I could just as well say the person who thinks that is giving the politically correct answer. If there was oral or other ways around it I would stay for sure but you cant ask a sexually active man or woman to just go without. That is not healthy at all in a relationship.
Sex is a natuaral thing and there is no way around that. I would have to have some kind of intamacy with the woman I love and it would not have to be intercourse. She would just have to be part. that being said I would do for her what I could to make things enjoyable for her. I am not thinking about this as a one way street but the street has to remain open even if it is going through some construction!

 

[mistydawn]

Misty I'll go along with you. Men want sex, at least until a few minutes after we die. Now the problem arises when one partner is no longer interested in sex for either physical ,emotional, or a combination of reasons; that is where love comes in. Do I leave the one I love or make trouble because they cannot do something I want? Love provides the answer.

Great post. Well said. Right on . You're right.

It kinda sounds to me like the physical is gone because she still flirts. And love is still there between them.

You said it all so well cusp and it is true.

 

[DemOne]

GettinThereOK was responding to your first comment above where you generalized us as "a man" then you defended that statement by saying "this guy" said so and so.

You're always on here talking about how men do this and that, how men think this and that. It's quite tiresome. Not all men think and feel the same way. We are individuals with different values, personalities, and beliefs...just like women are. You are constantly on this forum looking for individual men who say things you disagree with so that you can affirm your belief that all men feel the same way. Can you not attribute those things to just that individual who said it without painting us all with the same brush?

As for the OP, you're being unfairly critical of him. He's spent years taking care of his wife, staying by her side, doing what a good husband should do...and he's stated he has no intentions of leaving her...and you still accuse him of only thinking of himself just because he has his own needs? What are you, the thought police? He can't even wish to have sex? As if women never wish to have sex if they were in his shoes? Please.

Thank you.

 

[CUSP82]

Guys we all generalize and say this and that. How many threads and guys have said that women prefer bigger dicks. I can't count that high. What Misty is saying here is no different than us guys saying we know women like bigger dicks. I cannot see any difference betwen the two.