Girlfriend Quivers, Moans, etc, but Doesn't Orgasm

[pbfreakon]

The past few weeks my girlfriend and I started hooking up. No sex, just oral. But we haven't been able to get her all the way across the finish line. I happen to enjoy going down on girls so, for one, it's not my lack of enthusiasm. Two, on several occasions I have spent upwards of an hour going down on her to no avail. And three, she tells me exactly what she wants as I'm down there, so it's not for lack of instruction either. Every single time we go at it I have her legs quivering, her hips gyrating, she's breathing heavily, moaning, her chest is flushed, she's soaked, etc. All the good signs. Then it will all come to a head, more than once per session, where she stops and tenses up, grabs hold of me, takes intermittent deep breaths, but never goes over the edge. And it's not like I stop when she does this, so I'm totally baffled.

When we talk about it, she admits to being very very close several times, but for whatever reason never going over board. She also tells me that in the past it has never taken near as long for her to get off as I've spent going down on her.

We're both very open and rational about the subject, so we've sort of come to the conclusion that it can't be anything related to the physical side of it, because she is clearly enjoying that part. It's the end of the semester, so it could be stress. But also, it's a really new relationship (one month old) and she has never been this intimate with a person anywhere near as fast as it has happened between the two of us. Could that be affecting things somehow? For the record, I haven't forced anything on her. We've talked about everything ahead of time, so I also don't see that being an issue.

Neither of us have made a big deal over it, because it's clear that she is enjoying it (which satisfies her, and in turn satisfies me because I know it's my doing). But I want to figure it out sooner rather than later. Any thoughts?

 

[spanky]

I'd be very interested to hear other people's points of view on this, but I wonder if you're not having intercourse for a reason, is there something mixed in with that that's not letting her submit to it fully? Maybe if you were inside her or came inside her (even with a condom) she'd shoot right over that edge?

Does it take something more to turn her on enough perhaps? saying her name? or a little g-spot magic?

Does she need more convincing of your feelings for her?

I'm no expert, and not judging, just throwing a couple of ideas out there - I know sex is more of a mind-body thing for most women than it is generally is for us guys. Besides I should shut up... The ladies'll probably be more informative seeing as it is their forum and all

 

[Pirate]

Keep the conversation going but don't focus it on things like "What am I doing wrong?" That way leads to madness and despair.
Sooner or later, she will cum for you if you keep trying and, pay attention here, talking. It sounds to me like she just needs to feel a bit more emotionally connected to you so talk and do other things that you both enjoy.
Have fun!

 

[GTO]

Sounds like you just need to stay the course. She's not complaining and it sounds like she REALLY likes it. It may just be a mental thing with her - give it time and it may break eventually.

And it could just be that she may be the type that "needs some dick" to reach orgasm - not evety woman can get there from oral (and vice versa).

 

[islander]

I would ditto. Just keep going. I have to say u should be really relieved and respected that she just doesn't fake it.
So as long as u continue not stress her about it then it will happen.

If possible find out if she is able to orgasm on her own. When by herself. If not then she just needs practice and to allow herself to get thru to the next level. Breathing is so important. So many women hold their breathe and bare down which actually stops the blood flow and oxygen. If she can breathe threw it not only will she feel better but she will have more O pulses.

Maybe try her giving you a hand job while your working on her. Maybe it's just too much thinking.

Good luck!!

 

[pbfreakon]

I think you're all probably right in that it's a combo of needing more time to feel more connected, since this is way sooner than anything in her past, and also internal stimulation. She really goes off when I hit her g spot, and the last time we were together she definitely shoved my hand down there when she was getting close. I'll have to work on anticipating that so I can do it before she has to tell me to.

Pirate, fortunately I haven't ever asked her what I'm doing wrong. Her reactions make me think I'm not doing anything wrong. And spanky, we're not having intercourse because, well, she's a virgin. A 21 year old, incredibly hot, incredibly sexual virgin. Which makes me feel like I've stumbled upon some well protected treasure, because how often does that happen??

 

[pbfreakon]

islander, I do feel really respected that she doesn't fake it. We talk about everything, so she knew before hand that it wouldn't be a blow to my ego if I didn't get her off immediately. I told her I thought of it as a learning process, where with time we will both learn each other's intricacies.

Also, I may have misrepresented the amount of times we discuss the fact that she hasn't gotten off yet. We've talked about our sexuality ad nauseum, but only briefly discussed the fact that she hasn't gotten off. I've definitely been trying to keep the stress off her, and will continue to do so.

Btw, thanks for the thoughts everyone!

 

[spanky]

Sounds like you've got an awesome thing going on there pbfreakon.. and she's lucky to have found you too. You're doing all the right things as far as I know.. it will happen. probably when you both least expect it x

 

[Rando]

I'd say there's a good chance it's purely a mental thing. Instead of her focusing on the mechanics of the act and instructing you what to do or what not to do, tell her her only job is to just lay back, relax, clear her head, and focus on the sensations going through her body. This will heighten the sensations and maybe send her over the job. Shut down the thinking mind and use only the feeling mind. A 5-minute meditation period where she's just relaxing and focusing on deep breaths would be beneficial.

 

[NP97]

Yeah, let her relax and make her totally comfortable first.
Full body message could help

 

[mistydawn]

I have never been able to orgasm with oral sex. Many men who consider themselves real experts and I 'just hadn't had it done right', never accomplished it. I have no trouble letting go, so that isn't the issue. I understand oral sex gives most women an orgasm. That is why men do it. They are not sure their magic wand is gonna so it, so use the magic mouth.

 

[mrmark]

I would say your on the right track if shes wet because she is obviously enjoying it and being a virgin and feeling comfortable with you being down there is a good sign because some women do not like/want a man to go down on them for varoius reasons.Have you asked if she will let you insert a finger while performing oral then you could go about finding her g-spot,dont just do it or you will not only hurt her but could shatter the trust she has in you.Finally when you get to penetration buy a little pocket vibrator maybe as a surprise then while either standing on the edge of the bed or kneeling on the bed in between her legs put it on her clit while having sex with her and watch her scream the house down!

 

[pbfreakon]

Oh yeah, she is totally fine with me fingering her. Two nights ago I was pushing on her sweet spot with my fingers, and she kept kind of jumping when I did. I asked if it hurt, and she said she couldn't describe it. It wasn't pain, but somewhere in between? I dunno. Either way, I exhausted her in the end (in a good way). I think it's just going to take some time. The other issue is that being the end of the semester we haven't been getting good sleep (she has had it worse than I have) and she takes finals more seriously than I do. I think the mental combo of stress, fatigue, and the early relationship is the issue.

Spanky, it has been a very awesome thing, I feel quite lucky!

Thanks again all!

 

[psychedelic_behavior]

I didn't read the other responses so this may have been said, but you seem to be doing the core basic thing of what she wants. well you are obviously since that's what she tells you. But what's worth a try is doing something that she isn't use to that she finds extremely hot to push her over the edge. This could be anything physically, verbally, it doesn't matter, just whatever works. Girls love to know that you're enjoying yourself when you're pleasuring them. It will be hard since you are using your mouth already but ask her stuff like "do you like that, are you going to cum if i keep doing that?, is my tongue on your clit getting too much to bare?". there are endless things you could say. depending on what she likes use your hands to help her get off, grab hold of her boobs, squeeze them, pinch, pull at them, grip onto her as she gets closer with your other hand and grip onto her tighter and tighter, gripping onto her boobs tighter and tighter. This will encourage her body to also tense up and get tighter untill it's unbearable for her and she cums.

Completely depends what she's into. Do something that she thinks is really hot and that turns her on that she's not use to that will give her the extra momentum to slide over the edge. Try make her feel as sexy and happy as possible before you do anything with her too