Mind block for sex

[Ayoba]

I have another issue which is probably alot bigger than the lack of experience or even my feelings about my size.

Its kind of like an OCD thought sequence. I worry that because I am on anti-depressants, (not for depression, for anxiety) i will not be able to keep an erection because of the side effects that are possible on SSRI's. Now my rational mind tells me that it is stupid to worry before u actually have sex because it could be all fine but part of me still worries. And that is the main psychological issue.

Any responses?

 

[Ayoba]

I know these are extremely common side effects but its not guaranteed that u will experience them. I should just have sex first, and then fix the problem, if there is one, or get on with life. But i cant seem to get past this mind block. My solution cant be too carry om missing out on sex. Need to overcome this last worry so that i can relax and get on with things.

if this info is necessary, ive been on meds for 4 years but am currently on a light dose, 20 mg (one pill) a day of Nuzak, which i think is a derivative of Prozac. Ive heard the side affects are more common the longer u have been on the meds.

I will appreciate any comments on these 2 posts, on what to do etc or even from a medical perspective etc, anything will be helpful. Thanks. peace

 

[Flanker6]

If I can tell you one thing. Everyone's first time is terrible, no matter what goes wrong. I was lucky enough to where both the girl and I were pretty drunk. As for the meds, it happens man. My first time I couldn't cum at all, I even tried with out a condom (uh oh drunk self) and nothing. Took a 30 minutes blow job to do the trick. I'm no doctor but if you anticipate yourself having sex maybe don't take the meds? I don't know how bad off you are with out them but it seems logical. Don't take them especially if you're going to drink. It would help to know more what you're like with out the medication.

 

[Batwoman]

First off -- DON'T stop taking your meds, and DON'T think that being drunk the first time you have sex is is a good idea. Both are really baaaaad ideas.

Meds: Are you getting woodies now? Can you masturbate to orgasm? Then you don't have a problem. If you do have real ED issues -- not just imagined worries about what might happen -- then talk to your doctor about changing your medications to other drugs that may not have ED side effects. There are lots of options for meds these days. Absolutely do not go off your meds without talking to your doctor. Don't just skip them for a day because you think you might have sex either -- that can mess up your metabolism big time and it is just not a good idea.

Alcohol: There is almost nothing that ruins more sexual encounters than drinking. Real men do NOT get drunk before sex -- that's a good way to be sloppy, a lousy lover, have ED problems, and just not remember much. Drunken lovers are memorable to girls only in a bad way. Be smart -- be sober when you have sex, so you and your lover can both enjoy it fully!

And welcome to the Gym, Ayoba.

 

[vulcan]

I would strongly agree with what Batwoman said about alcohol.

When the time is right for you - loose your virginity with a girl that you are relaxed with. Looking back, I remember feeling real pressure to loose my virginity, when in fact there was none.

 

[Flanker6]

First off -- DON'T stop taking your meds, and DON'T think that being drunk the first time you have sex is is a good idea. Both are really baaaaad ideas.

Meds: Are you getting woodies now? Can you masturbate to orgasm? Then you don't have a problem. If you do have real ED issues -- not just imagined worries about what might happen -- then talk to your doctor about changing your medications to other drugs that may not have ED side effects. There are lots of options for meds these days. Absolutely do not go off your meds without talking to your doctor. Don't just skip them for a day because you think you might have sex either -- that can mess up your metabolism big time and it is just not a good idea.

Alcohol: There is almost nothing that ruins more sexual encounters than drinking. Real men do NOT get drunk before sex -- that's a good way to be sloppy, a lousy lover, have ED problems, and just not remember much. Drunken lovers are memorable to girls only in a bad way. Be smart -- be sober when you have sex, so you and your lover can both enjoy it fully!

And welcome to the Gym, Ayoba.

Oh boi. Yeah she's right. I didn't mean that alcohol is needed your first time. Sober sex is the best sex I've had by far. If I were I'd try get over this mental block and find a girl you really like and maybe you'll have sex with her. If you really love her, the fact that you MAY have ED will be the last thing on your mind. Also, it can't help to just talk to your physician about it.

Oh and thanks for correcting me BW

 

[Ayoba]

"Meds: Are you getting woodies now? Can you masturbate to orgasm? Then you don't have a problem." @ Batwoman

I can masturbate to orgasm and can get hard, though sometimes I lose it after a while or take longer than usual to get hard. I suppose i could also get harder more often but I can improve my EQ with PE? Does that mean I haven't experienced the side effects?

I do feel like at 20 i think about sex alot less than when i was 16 but maybe thats normal? because of the puberty thing?

Oh and i rarely getting morning woodies. but i do start getting hard if i imagine having a sexual encounter with a woman.

Oh and Batwoman, you are great and the rest! I really could not ask these kinds of questions to a psychiatrist! that would be very awkward!!!!

 

[Ayoba]

can go off meds but it will take months to gradually go off and will have to sort out my issues first. So i cant wait to get off meds before having sex, will take too long.

 

[Ayoba]

Also when I started PE my libido raised drastically for a period of time after a PE session but then it went away and didn't happen again or to the same extent after other PE sessions.. Havent been keeping up with my PE but I am defnitely starting again in conjunction with gym in the new year!

 

[jetsetter439]

i am on meds as well. my erections don't shoot up at the mere thought of sex but i'm also not 16 anymore (i'm 27.. not old but well past puberty obviously).

i've actually been on meds for awhile, and my sex life has never really suffered. then again its hard for me to remember what my erections were like pre-medication but i don't think they were much different. i honestly think the ED side effects are drastically overemphasized and more often than not psychological, even on the meds.

 

[redbear52]

Not everybody's first time is terrible. In my case, it was a little awkward and I was rather anxious, but I enjoyed it and she seemed to as well. It definitely does get better with a little experience, however.

 

[GTO]

Yeh, my first was pretty cool. I lasted longer than I expected and she seemed to really enjoy it. I remember she took the condom off and finished me with a blowjob - I came so much, she had this look on her face like "Damn - where did all of this come from?!" :becky:

 

[TTBB]

Remember Psychiatrists deal with all sides of life.. many of the people who have worked with will talk about much more sexually graphic things .. like sexual impulses, sexual abuse, sexual phobias SEXUAL ANXIETY … Many of the drugs that are prescribed can have an effect on libido and sexual function .. its an individual response a persons body will have to the drug .. so one drug might present side effects in you that it doesn’t in another person.

Your psychiatrist needs to know that you are concerned about this side effect.. the psychiatrist needs to know that the drugs are effecting this side of your life..so that they can monitor it or give you a different medication.

The thing with the time you spend getting treatment is its only a point of time in your life.... its in this moment and there will come appoint where you will never see this person again unless you make an appointment to see them again … So there is no shame, there is no reason to be embarrassed .because one day they will be just a memory ….Think back over your life to all the people you have encountered or shared something with .. now think about how many of them are still in your life…You have nothing to lose from being completely open to your shrink only things to gain ..they are qualified and its confidential ..they will not judge you.. you are young and sex is a healthy part of life.

Do not stop your meds you are on them for a reason.. by not taking them you could find yourself in a worse head space then what your penis problem is creating.

 

[Batwoman]

"Meds: Are you getting woodies now? Can you masturbate to orgasm? Then you don't have a problem." @ Batwoman

I can masturbate to orgasm and can get hard, though sometimes I lose it after a while or take longer than usual to get hard. I suppose i could also get harder more often but I can improve my EQ with PE? Does that mean I haven't experienced the side effects?

I do feel like at 20 i think about sex alot less than when i was 16 but maybe thats normal? because of the puberty thing?

Oh and i rarely getting morning woodies. but i do start getting hard if i imagine having a sexual encounter with a woman.

Oh and Batwoman, you are great and the rest! I really could not ask these kinds of questions to a psychiatrist! that would be very awkward!!!!

You might be experiencing some side effects, but overall it sounds like your penis is working just fine. If you do PE, you should find that your EQ will improve quite a bit -- I think that is the first thing most guys notice after starting.

As for thinking about sex less at 20 than at 16, I think that's normal, just part of life. It's usually a good thing too since otherwise nobody would ever get anything done! The timing varies from person to person -- guys who first start thinking about sex later (say at 17 instead of 14, or whatever) probably stay in high gear later, too. Guys who are earlier into puberty may calm down earlier too. It might be that your meds are playing a role in this to some extent, but if you are still able to function sexually (get hard, masturbate, cum, etc.) then I wouldn't worry about it.

As TTBB said, you need your meds etc. now for important reasons -- but that doesn't mean that you cannot talk to your doctor about your concerns. Indeed, you should!

 

[Ayoba]

I asked my psychiatrist about sexual side affects and he said that there are but that it doesn't happen to everyone. lol thats as far as the conversation went.

 

[Batwoman]

Well, if you are not satisfied, start another conversation. That is what your doctor is for! You should ask him anything you want to, tell him everything, and repeat as necessary until you are satisfied.

 

[Ayoba]

thanks. I did once receive a blowjob from my girlfriend when I was 16 and I didnt get hard so she stopped. But everything is fine when I masturbate, So that was just anxiety there? (that was before medication).

That memory still haunts me a little bit.

 

[CUSP82]

Try not to focus on the side effects.The more you do the more side effects you will mentally have. You're young so try to throw out all the bullshit, stop reading about all the possible side effects from everything, go out and enjoy your life.

 

[Batwoman]

thanks. I did once receive a blowjob from my girlfriend when I was 16 and I didnt get hard so she stopped. But everything is fine when I masturbate, So that was just anxiety there? (that was before medication).

That memory still haunts me a little bit.

Anxiety? Yup, probably. Sex can be quite scary when you are very young (or older with a new partner). All it takes is a bit of performance anxiety, and poof! It's pretty common although most guys don't talk about it.