Sex and love
- Thread starter CUSP82
- Start date
Since my hubby & I are fuckbuddies / friends with benefits that totally failed, I'll say no.
But, that's just my experience. ~
Pirate
Retired Administrator, PEGym Hero
Laughing!
I have always said: there is no such thing as safe sex.
Look at you: you ended up married!
LOL! It's true!
In my defense, Hubby caved & said "I love you" first
[ hence why, amongst other reasons, he is the "woman" in our relationship lol ]~
Wow what I could do with that last post but it would get me in so much trouble so I'll just think about it instead! (LOL)
Another vote for the love/sex inseperability here...
I can't help falling in love with someone if they gently caress my cheek with their hand, or play with my hair, much less if they have sex with me...
I can't help falling in love with someone if they gently caress my cheek with their hand, or play with my hair, much less if they have sex with me...
GTO
Retired Moderator, PEGym Editor, PEGym Hero
LOL! It's true!
In my defense, Hubby caved & said "I love you" first
LOL - that's cute ... :becky:
GTO
Retired Moderator, PEGym Editor, PEGym Hero
Oh really? Just wait til you find 'that' one - that theory will have more holes than the Cowboy's defense! Guys may try to act all macho about it bit we fall just as hard as the ladies do ...
ABSOLUTELY!!. I was fortunate enough to experience such a rarity back when I was 23yrs old. I had struck up a friendship with a really cool chick @ the college library and after a good 3 or 4 weeks of chatting almost, I noticed there was quite a noticeable amount of sexual tension between us. At the time, we were both @ transitional stages in our lives where having an actual relationship was not the best idea. I brought up the possibility of being FWB...and to my amazement, we went for it and had a good 6 months of just UNBELIEVABLE sex.
Pirate
Retired Administrator, PEGym Hero
The only reason why it only lasted 6 months was because I was leaving the state for good, otherwise God only knows how long it would've gone. The deal was this: We met right after she finished the last details of her divorce; she had a 3yr old daughter, was working almost full-time @ her dad's business and also taking on a full-time load @ the local college where we met. I for one was set on leaving the area for good, so I knew getting into a serious relationship was just NOT the right thing to do; I was also working and going to school @ the same time. One weekend while visiting my parents, I went to bed fantasizing about her and in the midst of that, I thought to myself "I'm gonna find a way to bring up the FWB deal and see what happens." So when I got back from visiting my parents, I called her up and the 1st thing she said was "Hi there, buddy...I must say I missed you while you were gone." Right there and then I said "Well...I think it's best if you swing by for a minute cause there's something I wanna talk to you about." She came by within minutes, with a nervous smile and a puzzled look in her eyes. Right off the bat I said "Listen...we're friends and I truly value that, so before I say anything, you must promise me you will not be upset, offended or freaked out in any shape or form. All I need from you is a YES of NO...either way, what matters is that we're friends and I want to keep that absolutely intact regardless of your answer. She smiled nervously and nodded with an anxious twinkle in he eye. I said "Listen...we're both at a transitional stage in our lives. You finally finished your divorce, you're very busy between school, work and raising your daughter. The last thing you need right now is someone to be answering to and dealing with the bullshit that comes with that. I'm almost as busy as you are...and I'm also set on leaving this town in the near future, so I'm in no position of having anything resembling a serious relationship. However, we're both young, healthy adults with very human needs. I propose that, in the privacy of this place (my apartment) we take care of each others needs. This would be our very own, private thing; it'll be our business and nobody else's. You go about living your life as you please and I live mine; no questions asked. We'll simply be friends that, in their own very private time, will take care of each other in the most intimate of ways." Then...after the 2 longest seconds I had ever experienced...with the same nervous smile and that anxious twinkle in her eye...she gave an approving nod. For the next 6 months we embarked in what can only be described as a surreal experience. She would come in every morning, 2 hrs before we had to be in class, and we would go straight into foreplay and then make passionate love to each other like it was our last day on Earth. I was a natural "marathon man" who could go on for as long as needed...and she was the epitome of a multi-orgasmic woman; the combination of those traits brought on a level of intensity that still to this day I simply can't put into words. We would do this every morning from Monday through Friday; she would come in, we would get lost in our lust, finish off, wash, go to lunch, go to class, come back from class, go at it again and she would go home. Sometimes she would get a chance to come by for a quickie on Saturday or Sunday, but from Monday through Friday...it was religious devotion.
Looking back, the biggest impact it had in me was that for the 1st time in my life, I felt truly embraced as a man by a woman. I had been in relationships and such before, but this whole thing was a completely different animal. For the 1st time, I was allowed to have at it with enough of a clear mind to truly feel my primal self...to have a woman make me feel like a man like I'd never had before. This woman would come into my room and as soon as that door was shut closed, there was nothing but complete abandon and pure, unhindered acceptance of each other as a human being in the most primal of ways. There was no arguing, no bargaining, no convincing; sex was not a pawn being used as a way for either of us to have some kind of upper hand on the other; there were no expectations other than to allow ourselves to get lost in the moment. Sex and the joy that comes with it was the only thing that mattered once she came into my room. To our luck, she was allergic to latex and had stayed on the pill even after her marriage ended, so we got to experience the Full Monty each and every time. I would kneel behind her as she set herself on all fours...slide myself into her waiting, dripping, warm peach...grab at those hips and just give her all I had each and every time. Her endless string of orgasms was the true source of my delight. I remember reaching a place where I would simply go on cruise control and pound away as I appreciated the wonder of her curves; to watch her curves crash against me was simply a state of bliss...pure magic.
Looking back, the biggest impact it had in me was that for the 1st time in my life, I felt truly embraced as a man by a woman. I had been in relationships and such before, but this whole thing was a completely different animal. For the 1st time, I was allowed to have at it with enough of a clear mind to truly feel my primal self...to have a woman make me feel like a man like I'd never had before. This woman would come into my room and as soon as that door was shut closed, there was nothing but complete abandon and pure, unhindered acceptance of each other as a human being in the most primal of ways. There was no arguing, no bargaining, no convincing; sex was not a pawn being used as a way for either of us to have some kind of upper hand on the other; there were no expectations other than to allow ourselves to get lost in the moment. Sex and the joy that comes with it was the only thing that mattered once she came into my room. To our luck, she was allergic to latex and had stayed on the pill even after her marriage ended, so we got to experience the Full Monty each and every time. I would kneel behind her as she set herself on all fours...slide myself into her waiting, dripping, warm peach...grab at those hips and just give her all I had each and every time. Her endless string of orgasms was the true source of my delight. I remember reaching a place where I would simply go on cruise control and pound away as I appreciated the wonder of her curves; to watch her curves crash against me was simply a state of bliss...pure magic.
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Pirate
Retired Administrator, PEGym Hero
It would've definitely gone on for quite a while, since we were both more than satisfied and purely content with our agreement. However, I know for sure that there was just no potential for a full on relationship; we were just WAY too different in terms of mind & spirit; we sprouted from 2 completely different worlds and did not have much in terms of the kind of common ground that make individuals connect at a romantic level. That's in fact what I think made it not only possible but also so immensely gratifying and wonderful. There were no expectations of anything other than what we had, which allowed us to embrace ourselves at a purely primal, sexual level, filled with unencumbered lust, desire and passion. There was never any of the conflicting feelings that come with the territory of a romantic relationship. Each and every time, we would join each other in a spirit of caring, nurturing friendship. It was just so freaking ideal that when I look back, I can only think how incredibly lucky I was to be able to experience such a thing.
Batwoman
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Lucky, indeed. But brave and good, too. It isn't easy to develop intimacy like that, it takes strength of character and a great deal of trust. I think most people go through their entire lives without ever knowing what it can be like.
Although you suggest that love was not a component of your relationship (and indeed may have been part of its success), I don't think that is always true. That sort of passion and unencumbered sexual desire, freedom, and satisfaction can coexist with deep love between partners. It may be vanishingly rare, but it exists.
And it is the best thing on the planet.
Although you suggest that love was not a component of your relationship (and indeed may have been part of its success), I don't think that is always true. That sort of passion and unencumbered sexual desire, freedom, and satisfaction can coexist with deep love between partners. It may be vanishingly rare, but it exists.
And it is the best thing on the planet.
Lucky, indeed. But brave and good, too. It isn't easy to develop intimacy like that, it takes strength of character and a great deal of trust. I think most people go through their entire lives without ever knowing what it can be like.
Absolutely. Also, (and you might chuckle @ this one but I swear it helped:becky
Although you suggest that love was not a component of your relationship (and indeed may have been part of its success), I don't think that is always true. That sort of passion and unencumbered sexual desire, freedom, and satisfaction can coexist with deep love between partners. It may be vanishingly rare, but it exists.
And it is the best thing on the planet.
I agree, as I have also experienced that within a relationship and it is pure bliss when it happens. However, contrary to the surreal experience I had with that FWB, the incredibly magical aspect of sex within an actual couple is subject to the ups & downs that most relationships go through. Now THAT right there is what I'm referring to; the established dynamics were such that there was no valid grounds for the kind of resentments, disappointments or friction that can dampen the sexual flames within a committed relationship. There was none of the potential landmines that can come with dating, such as meeting the family, in-laws or even friends; we did no "dating" of any kind. She would come over, we would go at it, wash, head out to the local cafe for a quick lunch before class, go to class, get out, go back to my place for a quicker romp and she would go home. All of our hangin' out was done during that time; there was no going to the movies, no dinner dates, no going out for drinks or any of that. Also, on the bigger scope of things, there was no potential for the kinds of doubts and disappointment that eventually creep up after the initial infatuation of a serious relationship; it didn't matter that I was a carefree surfer living life like a slightly cleaner version of Jack Kerouac's On The Road and how that was not the best indicator of a man who could provide for her and her daughter in the future. It didn't matter that she was coming from the kind of low-income neighborhood that didn't foster the kind of intellectual thirst I carried with me. It didn't matter that I was a pot-head and she was a clean, conservative single mom. It didn't matter that she didn't know who Miles Davis, Hendrix or Dostoevsky were or that I wasn't the kind of clean-cut, hometown, simpleton that her family & friends would flawlessly jive with. All we had was this cool, laid-back connection as casual, college buddies and an UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE sexual chemistry that we just couldn't have enough of. When you look at the whole thing, to me it just looks as nothing but a once-in-a-lifetime gift from the man upstairs to make up for all the sexual rejection I had endured since my hormones kicked in @ puberty. All through middle-school & high school, I felt like I was the only one not getting any, and although I had a spectacular time the night I lost my virginity in the summer between high-school & college, the next couple of years were also quite a disappointment in terms of finding a mate with whom to get lost in lustful intimacy.... [The Beatles' Blackbird just came up this very second on the radio and my have eyes have welled up a bit while reminiscing about that part of my life
]. The time with this girl allowed me to truly blossom for the 1st time as a sexual being, and it gave me an incredible sense of confidence as it led me to discover that I was more than capable of truly pleasing a woman in bed. I found through consistent practice that I was quite a natural when it came to matters of givin' some lovin'; not just with the actual act of intercourse, but with the whole gamut of foreplay and such. I learned to be a consummate communicator with a lover, both by asking questions and for suggestions in between romps while also tuning in to my partner's body-language while in the midst of making love. I consider myself quite lucky to have come across her in my travels and the experience will stay with me forever.
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