Convincing others to work out

[qwerty7]

Specifically, my girlfriend. I'd love a chicks perspective on this, but I don't know how many girls come on this website. Now, I'm not ripped, I'm actually pretty skinny. 6'2 145lbs, but I do workout, and I am trying to bulk up. My girlfriend, when we were first going out was in amazing shape in my opinion. Over the past few months though, she hasn't really been doing anything, she rides horses, and I guess she considers that a workout, which, really it's not at all. She isn't really overweight, but she is starting to get a little bit of stomach pudge, and that whole waving upper arm thing.... I really want her to start going to the gym with me, lifting weights, doing cardio, something, but she wont. I've tried explaining to her that girls don't get buff when they lift weights because they don't have the amount of testosterone guys do, girls just get lean muscle, and tone up, and look amazing, but she still is skeptical. Now, I love her, and I definitely want to stay with her, we've been together for a year and a half, but I guess the shallow side of me really wants a hot girlfriend.

I guess what I'm asking is, how do I convince her to start working out with me, without sounding like an asshole...I don't just want to go up to her and say "You're getting fat, start working out." I want her to want to do it, to have fun doing it, like I do. Anyone have any advice? And sorry if I sound like a D-bag in this post.

 

[vulcan]

Hi qwerty7,

My suggestion would be to try & highlight her lack of fitness to herself by proposing activities that you can do together - things like a game of tennis/racketball or going on a scenic (but quite demanding) hike in the country. If she plays tennis for example & enjoys it, but realizes that she was a little out of breath - it might give her a push in the right direction.

At least this way, you avoid letting her know that she needs to do something - WHICH COULD BE CATASTROPHIC - which I think you realize.

 

[Pegasus]

Yeah good luck with this, long term training has to be selfmotivated.
I have allways thought that the physical ,mental and spiritual are linked . If you can't be bothered exercising ,it says something about who you are.

 

[Mii]

agree with pegasus, she needs to have some sort of self motivation or even a personal reason to get her into it. I think if you come out and say it that she will probably take it negatively (basically telling her to lose weight). If she has a friend that works out, try to get your girlfriend to hang out with her. I find having a workout partner that is somewhat on your level is one of the best ways to start out and really gets you into the groove. If she really doesnt want to weightlift, try to get her to go for jogs with you around the block.

 

[MrBigDick]

Bro, let me tell you. I've been with 3 women now and not ONE of them could be bothered with the gym. My ex wife used to walk the track at the gym........that last all of 20 minutes then she'd come down and follow me like a lost puppy dog trying to rush me through my routine. I hate that. My ex gf hated the gym.........she claimed she was "clostrophobic" (I'm sure I spelled that wrong). I took her to the gym once and all she did was sit in an arm chair and read the fuckin' newspaper. That was a waste. Now to my current gf. I got her a two week pass to the gym because she expressed an interest in losing weight and getting her shape back. Yeah, that was a month plus ago and she's never once asked me to workout with me or even have me help her get her started.

If I've learned ANYTHING from the above experiences is this: Unless they WANT to improve themselves, it's not going to happen. Ever heard that old saying "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink"?? You have to accept your girlfriend for who and what she is.

 

[Mc Dong]

Every guy has dealt with this problem. You meet an amazing girl with a hot body. You date and then little by little that hot body is not so hot anymore.

I agree with all you guys. She needs a reason to get in shape. Here's an idea. Does she run? Me and my girl do 'fun runs' during the summer. They are 5k runs. They're pretty easy. Everyone just jogs along chatting. In fact, if I wasn't dating my girl, I'd continue doing these because there are so many in hot, fit women doing them. Plus they are sponsered by charity events, bars, and local chamber of commerce. Last year, I ran a race that was sponsored by Land shark beer (jimmy buffet's beer) and after the race, all runners got 1 free beer and then hung out and partied for a few hours.

Anyway, ask her if she'd be interested in doing one. Pick a race a month out or so. Then start training for it now. It gives you a common goal and something to do together. Plus sex after training is awesome because you endorphins are released, heart rate is up and muscles are warm.

Give it a shot.

Mc Dong

 

[Cleave]

Over the past few months though, she hasn't really been doing anything, she rides horses, and I guess she considers that a workout, which, really it's not at all.

This was my ex exactly! Always whined about the shape she was in but this was her only means of exercise. Very frustrating to have to listen to for sure. I agree with what everyone else said about her having to be motivated herself but I also know that no girl wants to feel like the less attractive one in the relationship so maybe if you really start hitting the gym hard and gaining the weight you're looking for she'll notice how great you really look and she might be more motivated to keep up with you...

 

[Batwoman]

I agree with everything above. Nobody -- male or female -- can be coerced into working out. If the internal drive isn't there, it just isn't going to happen. I work out 4-6 times a week, often rearranging my work and family schedule to fit it in. I can divide everyone I know clearly into two camps: the ones who understand perfectly why I do what I do, and the ones who think I'm from Mars. I think it is fair to say that most of the women I know are in the latter group. Not all -- I know a number of ladies like me -- but not very many.

 

[Pegasus]

Well I like athletic girls ,but they are hard to find. Creating one is even harder, though my girl is going to gym, she goes to a class while I do weights. The easy way to have a partner that exercises, is to find one with a lifelong passion for it before you meet.

 

[Jackxxx]

I gave up trying to convince other people to workout and have a hot body. Now if she doesn't, I get rid of her. I am not the hottest model in the world, but I have busted my ass for years lifting weights, I eat normal amounts of food and I look better than 85% of men on the streets. So demanding hotness is my own condition.

 

[qwerty7]

Thank you all for the advice. Really helpful. I am kind of planning on what you said Cleave, I'm hoping that once I start getting into better shape, she'll see that I'm getting better looking and want to start working out herself. She is kind of a jealous person..and I'm hoping if I start getting buff, and other girls start flirting with me or something, she'll get jealous and start working out, lol. Kind of a horrible thing to say, but hey, I'll play her weaknesses against her, it'll be doing her a favor, she'll be healthier.

 

[Batwoman]

Has she ever done any sports or worked out regularly before?

 

[qwerty7]

Well, she played volleyball years ago, but then she tore her rotator cuff, and it has never fully healed, so she can't really do that anymore. And, more recently her foot was stepped on by a horse, so...its kinda messed up, I mean it happened like 6 or 7 months ago, it's healed, but she might have to have surgery on it to get it back to a normal shape, because it's a little flattened right now, so she can't really go jogging until that happens because it hurts her foot. I'm hoping after that though she will start again, but I'm kinda doubtful.

 

[Batwoman]

Hmmm.... if her foot is hurt and her rotator cuff torn, that rules out a lot of activites, including running and most weight lifting (I would guess). I think most exercise classes are pretty high impact too. Maybe swimming would be good for her?

 

[mountie]

This is an easy one.....but expensive, so you gotta love her.

Book a trip for two to Jamaica. She will be in shape in no time.

 

[Mc Dong]

HA! I totally agree.

 

[ErictheGed]

Book a trip for two to Jamaica. She will be in shape in no time.

Haha brilliant! Its guaranteed. Yeah you should try and get her into going swimming with you once or twice a week. It'll be a good laugh as well as exercise. Also if theres any beauty spots around you like lakes or whatever get a couple of bikes on a nice day and go cycling. Get a bit of scenery take a picnic you can fool around too. An ex of mine loved all that, and she was pretty fit. Good exercise and might make her realise she could do with getting a bit fitter!

 

[fit4chix]

I agree with everyone above....my suggestion for your weight goals for 6'2'' in height should be 180-190lbs. just stick to a bodybuilding program and take in alot of protein and calories. a lot of calories. I had a co-worker who had your exact frame who i helped reach 180'lbs. i personally worked up to 210lbs from 155lbs but im only 5'10 which too much for some folks but just like PE it is for me.