Considering giving up PE--need help

[Mr. Determined]

Hi guys,

Little background first: How I got here. I'm 37 years old, married with three kids. Last year my wife told me that i had a small penis and that she didn't feel like having sex with me. Needless to say I was crushed. I mean I have been with this woman for ten years. she never expressed anything like this before. I was filled with anxiety and hated myself for not able to satisfy my wife's need for a bigger unit. So i said i'll do something about it. It took lots of research to get here but I did.

Stats: BPEL: 5.8
EG:4.5

Routine: 10 min warm up
stretches all around
5 min jelg
Extender ( 1 hour)
edge off days

2 days on, 1 off

I'm in excellent shape. i workout four days a week. Body is cut.

daily supplements: Multipurpose Vitamin
Extenze
Steel libido

I started PE seriously in August. I followed all the instructions and found that I was progressing along. Everything was OK till last week. I think while using the Extender I might have somehow pulled something. I was feeling sore but could still get erections. That day my wife wanted to have sex and I couldn't get it up. She was ok with it but i felt like sh*t. I mean i was doing all the kegels, and my unit just couldn't perform. Fast forward: I took a few days off and last night tried to have sex. I got hard immediately but when i went in her immediately i became soft. I had to pull out and rub my unit on her thigh to get it hard again and then within 30 seconds i came. It was embarrasing. She called me a grandpa. I mean i'm sure grandpa can do it better than i did. I tried to explain that i was PEing and she laughed at me. She said that stuff is not going to work. Leave your unit alone. Kingpole how did u fix your ED? I mean i try Kegels, edging and when i am alone i get raging boners. But when its time to perform I'm gumby. I believe in PE but the Ed is killing me. My goal is to get to seven and rock hard erections which i can't seem to get( only when i'm alone or watching porn) I feel disgusted with myself. Do u guys think i might haveseriously injured myself? I dunno. I guess i'm looking for reinforcement. some encouragement. She always laughs at me. Like i'm some loser. Should i change my routine. Take different supplements. Please help

 

[Dreambig]

Do not quit. Sounds like marriage is tough on you, but don't let your wife deture your efforts. Pe works with a proper routine and patience. When I started pe 4 years ago I had gains of about an inch in the first 6 months, but then let off and just used devices. Since that time I have had no gains, but I'm back on track. Extenders did not work for me either, and seemed to cause problems. The best tool I ever bought was the book "exercising the penis". I had ED issues since I began having sex due to possible anatomy issues. I actually went to a therapist/sexologist, and it has done wonders to my perspective (also I have the option of cialis which is a miracle drug for me).

Gains will come, but you need to alter your routine and put more time into it. Also if you do not want to mess with prescription vasilator, then try some of higher priced erection pills on the net. Stiff nights worked for me, so did cockstar (funny names, i know) There is also a tea that claims to be pretty powerful stuff. Oh and the pegym offers tons of natural rememdies, but it can be hard to be patient sometimes.

Your story really makes me feel for you, and giving up is not going to fix anything. Just read the success stories here.

 

[happy_accidents3]

Well first off stop thinking your small. Second your problem sounds more mental then physical. You would be surprised about how much the mind has control over sexual functions. It seems like your wife's comments and feelings are having a serious effect on you and perhaps giving you performance anxiety. I would suggest doing your work early and trying to get her to orgasm before you even get your pants off. Either through oral or manual stimulation, this way she will be satisfied when you actually start having sex.

Secondly you should probably have a talk with your wife about how her comments make you feel because that's a messed up thing to say to someone you love. Im very young but even I know communication is a key stone of a good relationship.

 

[Mr. Determined]

Happyaccidents 3, I did try talking to her and she said that this thing is your problem not mine. She feels that I should b able to perform regardless of what she says

 

[Mr. Determined]

On another note...lately if i blow my load it takes me forever to get it back up. Like the next day. Is that normal? I don't think so. My friends are up and ready to go again within an hour.

 

[Big Al]

On another note...lately if i blow my load it takes me forever to get it back up. Like the next day. Is that normal? I don't think so. My friends are up and ready to go again within an hour.

Excellent suggestions above.

Your measurements are average- actually a little above average in the length department. It's common for women to get a little loose after having children. Perhaps she can tighten things up on her end with kegel exercises.

Pardon my saying so but there's likely some deeper issues going on that may need to be addressed. Your size is not the problem- your wife's attitude towards you is. How does she expect you to perform at your best after berating you like that? Her attitude is bound to affect you mentally and that will affect your performance to some degree.

 

[Mr. Determined]

Big Al...i thought about that myself. U maybe right. last summer while she was on vacation with the kids in Morocco, she'd met someone she claimed was just a friend. I grilled her on that but i got the usual "he's just a friend" this is also about the time my penis was not good enough. It's been with me ever since and more and more i can't seem to get it on with her. I dunno what to do. Is my routine good enough or should i take some time off and start all over again. As kingpole said in another post: work on the ED first, then PE. I want rock hard erections, then gains. What do u think?

 

[LookAlive]

Wow, your wife really isn't helping!

Grasping at straws here (a lot has been said already): how intense is your kegel regime? Kegeling too much or too hard can often cause erection problems, although they do not normally vary between being alone and with your wife.

In my honest opinion I think you need to re-evaluate this problem, putting more importance on your wife's attitude.

 

[Big Al]

Big Al...i thought about that myself. U maybe right. last summer while she was on vacation with the kids in Morocco, she'd met someone she claimed was just a friend. I grilled her on that but i got the usual "he's just a friend" this is also about the time my penis was not good enough. It's been with me ever since and more and more i can't seem to get it on with her. I dunno what to do. Is my routine good enough or should i take some time off and start all over again. As kingpole said in another post: work on the ED first, then PE. I want rock hard erections, then gains. What do u think?

Kingpole's suggestion is a wise one. If you're able to get regular erections without too much difficulty then you can work on PE and stamina; if not, work on your potency and then focus on PE once you're functioning to your satisfaction.

When you're ready for PE I would suggest a more progressive routine- JP has an excellent complete course in the Beginner's Forum.

If you wish to save your marriage you may want to seek some kind of counseling. To be honest though it sounds as if she's saying these things almost in an effort to get you to leave her. Her callous attitude towards you suggest that she's pushing you away. I could be wrong though, but you definitely need to hash this out with your wife.

Stay strong- you'll get through this. Whatever happens, you'll be a better man for sticking it out and not letting your wife's negative comments succeed in getting to you.

 

[Mr. Determined]

i started kegeling 50 second holds a day...everyday for 5 days then two days off. But quickly noticed that my penis was sore even after the two off days.

 

[Big Al]

i started kegeling 50 second holds a day...everyday for 5 days then two days off. But quickly noticed that my penis was sore even after the two off days.

Your doing too much if your sore for that long. Start at a challenging but comfortable level and slowly work your way up. You should also be doing some edging/"Stop and Starts" as well.

 

[papaki]

Hi guys,

Little background first: How I got here. I'm 37 years old, married with three kids. Last year my wife told me that i had a small penis and that she didn't feel like having sex with me. Needless to say I was crushed. I mean I have been with this woman for ten years. she never expressed anything like this before. I was filled with anxiety and hated myself for not able to satisfy my wife's need for a bigger unit. So i said i'll do something about it. It took lots of research to get here but I did.

Stats: BPEL: 5.8
EG:4.5

Routine: 10 min warm up
stretches all around
5 min jelg
Extender ( 1 hour)
edge off days

2 days on, 1 off

I'm in excellent shape. i workout four days a week. Body is cut.

daily supplements: Multipurpose Vitamin
Extenze
Steel libido

I started PE seriously in August. I followed all the instructions and found that I was progressing along. Everything was OK till last week. I think while using the Extender I might have somehow pulled something. I was feeling sore but could still get erections. That day my wife wanted to have sex and I couldn't get it up. She was ok with it but i felt like sh*t. I mean i was doing all the kegels, and my unit just couldn't perform. Fast forward: I took a few days off and last night tried to have sex. I got hard immediately but when i went in her immediately i became soft. I had to pull out and rub my unit on her thigh to get it hard again and then within 30 seconds i came. It was embarrasing. She called me a grandpa. I mean i'm sure grandpa can do it better than i did. I tried to explain that i was PEing and she laughed at me. She said that stuff is not going to work. Leave your unit alone. Kingpole how did u fix your ED? I mean i try Kegels, edging and when i am alone i get raging boners. But when its time to perform I'm gumby. I believe in PE but the Ed is killing me. My goal is to get to seven and rock hard erections which i can't seem to get( only when i'm alone or watching porn) I feel disgusted with myself. Do u guys think i might haveseriously injured myself? I dunno. I guess i'm looking for reinforcement. some encouragement. She always laughs at me. Like i'm some loser. Should i change my routine. Take different supplements. Please help

I have gained more than 2".No one can say me that PE dont works.Just give it time.Read the success story.For what reason would I lye?

 

[Hairtrigger]

If you wish to save your marriage you may want to seek some kind of counseling. To be honest though it sounds as if she's saying these things almost in an effort to get you to leave her. Her callous attitude towards you suggest that she's pushing you away. I could be wrong though, but you definitely need to hash this out with your wife.

Stay strong- you'll get through this. Whatever happens, you'll be a better man for sticking it out and not letting your wife's negative comments succeed in getting to you.

These were my thoughts after reading his story earlier but I couldn't bring myself to say it. There is no reason for someone to talk this way to their spouse, if there is a problem it needs to be dealt with together if the relationship is worth keeping.

I would suggest a PI if you think something is goin on, I had a freind put up with this kind of thing for several years only to find out she had been seeing "just a freind".

 

[Mr. Determined]

i have stopped kegeling that much. i'll start edging for 15min. c how that goes. then slowly start kegeling back to that level.

 

[Nacho]

Just to echo what everyone said here ... out of the blue my wife cheated on me after 13 years of marriage and surprise ... instant ED.

We have patched things upand while not perfect our relationship is going strong again. Guess what? ED gone.

Hang in there and take it easy with the kegels. Your PC is a small muscle so it doesn't take much to work it out initially.

I suggest looking into couseling.

 

[Mr. Determined]

Big Al thanks for the advice. I'll definitely follow that. I feel a lot better now. Thanks guys. I'll stick to it. I really believe in PE

 

[LookAlive]

Hey, and I know it's not gonna be particularly helpful (if at all), but if you ever need to vent any problems out feel free to do it here. We're here to help with more than just getting a bigger penis!

I wish you lots and lots of luck with both your exercise and personal life!

 

[Dreambig]

So Mr. Determined visualize how your going to feel after a years progress with a steadfast PE routine. If I had someone like your wife scoffing at my manhood, motivation for PE would never be in short supply... Personally I had issues with ED and sought advice from a doctor and counseler... Cialis has helped me a great deal. Before Cialis I took things like StiffNights, Cockstar, and Other high priced pills. Somtimes they can give you side effects, but at times it was rock hard instant gratification... If I were you I would take a Cialis or Viagra or get me some erection pills from the net or sex store, and go pound your lady like you know how... Then I would make sure I can do PE at least 4 times a week for 1 hour a day at least,,, You know what just read the success stories. I read one about a guy whose wife had admitted to cheating (and the guy was "big"), and the frustration drove him to gain like 4 inches in length and about 2 in girth... Hopefully your wife is faithful, and you gain 2"x1" the first year.

G-luck bro.

 

[PEkid]

dont give up man... just do your beginner routine and kegel for 100-200 short kegels everyday... it seems that you are really affected by your wife's comments... "youre not this youre not that" or "youre tiny" "not this big" and etc... let me tell you that you have a really really good starting size!!! and dont let anbody make you think differently... dont listen to your wife... your on PE for yourself and make yourself( and your dick) as best as u can get it to be!!! i think all this ED is all mentally generated from the side comments of your wife... youre still young and you can make ur erections even harder now compared to when you were still 18... enjoy this journey man, dont rush it or ull most likely injure yourself... have fun and you will get rid of this so call "ED" and have gains... i mean "GAAAAAINNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" and then some...

 

[Mr. Determined]

Thanks for all the encouragement pekidd. Ur words mean a lot to me. I will do as u guys say. I know I'll get there. U guys r the best