Going for control

[makeit]

Jep glad I started posting here.

Had improvements over the last year but still missed some right insight.
I believe it wil get better and better from now on.

 

[makeit]

When having sex use the techniques you use while edging. For instance you identified that her speed is one of your triggers. So ask her to keep going slowly. Then you can get used to lasting longer. Keep practicing. You are doing great.

Okay nice. Glad I understand.

 

[makeit]

Had an edging session.

Didn't go well. After like 8 minutes I started to use a more firm grip and quickly reached ponr. Went slower and ponr went away. Problem is by using a more firm grip my lube becomes sticky. Doesn't feel very natural and I don't like it and it. It's nowere near the feeling of a wet pussy. I lost interest and my erection was gone. Wasn't able to get him back up.

Any advice on lube? Right now I use a sillicon based. Think I'm going to try a water based one.

 

[longerlastingnoob]

Yes water based one would be better.
May be a bit early, but theres an extra sensitive lube, durex play, that i was using for a while, If you can control yourself for extended sessions with that, huge progress.

 

[makeit]

Just bought Durex Play sensitive online. Hope it will be delivered on monday so I
can finally start with some serious edging.

 

[closed224]

I use olive, or coconut oil.

 

[longerlastingnoob]

Just bought Durex Play sensitive online. Hope it will be delivered on monday so I
can finally start with some serious edging.

Take it slow, it's tough to keep control, but it feels great when you do.

 

[makeit]

I will

 

[makeit]

Allright, lube has arrived!

Just had my first edging session with it.

Toughts on lube: it is awesome, feels so much better. Means better EQ during edging and easier to keep interested.

Toughts on session:

Had a great session. The duration was a bit on the short side, 15 minutes in i came. I was surfing on the edge of ponr and after the third of fourth time almost reaching ponr time I decided to let it go. Next session I go for 20 minutes. I tried to push my limits during the session. Used firm grip, less firm grip, faster, slower, one hand, two hands, tried to thrust,....

I discovered when I come close to ponr and I am in very high state of arousal. I feel my throat making the Oooh sound without making the actual sound. This is also a point where my breathing starts to stop. At this point swallowing is something that helps me getting out of this state.

When I came close to ponr I never stopped masturbating. I changed to my left hand, used a softer grip,... Which is good. This are also the moments were I do hard reverse kegels. Is this the correct time to use kegels? Or when is best time in general to use kegels during edging/sex?

In sex I can use this is also as a strategy. Change position, change speed,... But making this strategy intresting I need to be able to last like 3 minutes in the same position. Then switch to another position and contine while staying away from ponr. When I feel ponr coming, switch. So the sex keeps fun for both partners. And I am prety sure I am able to do this. Just need to learn to not push the limits too far (getting to close to ponr). So be happy with like 3 minutes and change, dont continue when I feel ponr is coming but change something. This way i will be able to last longer in the second position and so on.

After 10 minutes there was a moment my erection quality starts to drop but I was able to counterfit this. After the little dip I went back to a hard erection. Funny to see when i do a hard reverse kegel my dick just gets a lot bigger. Not so much in lengt buth more in girth.

*Getting in the too aroused oooh state. Swallow
*When I feel ponr coming. change speed, firm grip, hand, do something and do a reverse kegel.
*Dont push it when ponr is coming. Accept and change. Coming to close to ponr will end it very fast.

 

[closed224]

Also try to notice if you are pushing your tongue up to the roof of your mouth and clenching your jaw. If you can keep that relaxed it can help. Great job, keep it up.

 

[makeit]

Okay will do!

I introduced the lube to my girlfriend and immediately she was giving me a handjob with it.
Not for too long because she had to go. It was like a 5 min session with lube and little bit of teasing and playing. Didnt came.

It was awesome. A lot of sensation and feeled amazing!!!
Sounds crazy but was almost better than the pussy. Hope she doesn't reads this .

Best part, she fucking loves it

So edging sessions with the girlfriend will be part of the routine from now on.

 

[makeit]

Had a handjob with lube today.

I've noticed that the orgasm is coming and I hold a light kegel. Kegel NOT RK!
The orgasm can't start. When I relax at this point (perform rk), i give my body a chance to start the orgasm.

Untill now i always tried to relaxed and stay away from involuntary kegels. But after today I think holding a light kegel is a good way to stay away from this.

The handjob took about 8 minutes. It's an improvement, has been a while since i had an orgasm.
Good grip and lube. Overall i defintely see improvements

 

[spanky]

Just gonna throw a couple of things at you here.

Firstly, it's way easier to learn control the more time you spend in a highly aroused space. That makes PreE such a bitch because you can't get to a place where you can train yourself and improve. My experience of using RK to back off is that yeah, it works but only if you can relax all of yourself at the same time too, but the thing is for me, that half of what you're doing is distracting yourself from arousal by thinking about RK, kinda like thinking of your nan. Not saying it doesn't work, but it's a mixed bag.

Second, ramp it up, get her to hit all your most sensitive spots. Push yourself. Something unexpected I found is that some parts of my cock are super sensitive, but don't bring me closer to orgasm, so it's just fucking intense, but that can carry on indefinitely, knees clenched, shouting... if you can find one of those spots, go go go I'm sure that doing that helps you get used to super-high stimulation and recognise the difference between high sensation and approaching PoNR.

Just thoughts anyway. Good luck

 

[spanky]

And on holding a kegel, I think it's a bit like holding hiccups back by holding your breath tight and not giving your diaphragm room to twitch. 4 or 5 second Kegel holds totally works, hold it long enough to "stem the flow" and relax, and that gives you loads more space

 

[makeit]

Excuse me for the late answer but haven't been much online this week.

I don't fully agree with you. Findig a little tric like that prevents me from coming will help me a lot.
It wil give me a lot of confidence knowing i can do something to prevent me for coming too quick.

This way I will able to enjoy the experience and when it becomes an automatic thing it wont take much effort to this. By holding a light kegel I mean just squeeze it with the lightest effort. Like when i Say i push very light against a wall, i mean i am bearly pushing it. So i can do this for example like an hour, while every other muscle and my breathing is under control.

Right now i am enjoying it but I have to say i am also focusing during my sex, edging sessions,.. too find things that help me and to be aware about mistakes that are now automatic things.

Getting used to superhigh stimulation is defnitely a factor but finding something that works like a RK, good breathing,... definitely too. Wasnt able too test further the very light kegel hold but I will experiment further with it. If it doesnt work i will look for something else. But I will try to find this while having sex and edging sessions were I push the sensations as high as possible.

 

[makeit]

Okay well, a lot have happened.

Me and my girlfriend decided to break up. We were growing apart from eachother and both want different things.
It's sad though. We really love eachother but it's time to move on. Right now I am on an emotional rollercoaster.
One minute I am in peace with it and I realize it's for the best. 10 minutes later I really have a hard time.

We believe and know it's the best for both of us but it will take time to get over this.

Concerning pe not a lot to say. Have been a while since an edging session. My libido is at the moment also zero.

I will start soon back when I have my sh*t together. Problem now will be the fact that I find edging on my own very difficult. I find it hard to get an erection and stay aroused during the session.

With porn it works better but I want to leave porn out. Any tips for this?

 

[DickerSchwanz]

Imagination. Think and imagine scenarios. Thats how we did it back in the days

 

[makeit]

Hehe yep will need to work on this.

I am trying to be aware of my pelvic floor most of the time. When i walk, sit down,.... I forget about it often but I try to relax my pelvic floor with most of my movements. I just went to the toilet to take a piss and i didn't kegel at the end of it. This is something I normally always did and I found it hard to not do it a while ago.
So my pelvic floor is definitely more relaxed than it used to be.

 

[DickerSchwanz]

Thats good.
I was walking around for a long time all day with a tense pelvic floor. Quiet astonishing. There is a tendency to only check for it while doing PE but one should check all day and relax or counter with a reverse kegel.

Also for a long time it was PE gospel to kegel wherever you are and I think thats bad advice as it wires the brain to tense when there is no need for it. I suspect that this practice is part of many PE practitioners pelvic problems.

 

[makeit]

I don't understand the while doing PE part. Doing premature ejaculation??

I stopped performing kegels, I did them in the beginning but it made me come quicker. Erections were stronger though. But I believe a tensed pelvic floor is one of the great causes I have PE. I also find it very easy to stop urinating. I can stop it in a snap second so I dont think my kegel is strong enough.

Performing a RK was very hard for me. Now i am getting better at it. Still when i am superhorney and have an erection i find it hard to do because everything is much more tensed then.

So gotta keep doing them and I hope my reverse kegel will win from the kegels after a while.