Day 18 in the bag, cracking on with day 19 today!
The man-flu never materialised, which I'm pretty glad about. Hate that feeling!
I thought I'd include the following in this thread because it has the highest concentration of no PMOers of anywhere that I know about, and would like to share with you guys either so you can find hope in this or tell me about similar experiences...
As an aside, on Wednesday I had a flash of what I call "clarity of mind". It lasted about 15 seconds and I'll describe what I felt like below. I only really experienced this the last time I did no PMO for 30 days, and now I experienced it again. The best way I can describe it is like, coming out of the tunnel-vision that you get from a permanent wangover (that's my own copyrighted term for wanking hangover... and because, y'know... "wang". You heard it here first ladies and gentlemen!), losing all of the sluggishness, confusion, dazed feeling, self-doubt, and internal thought/monologue that seems to happen when you PMO too much for too long.
While addicted to PMO: tunnel vision, fuzzy mind, trouble concentrating, time passes much more quickly (like it's rushing by without you, retreat into your own mind and thoughts, trouble "hearing" things without concentrating on them, constant feeling of anxiety or deflatedness, often feeling dazed and confused.
Clarity of mind: Fully aware of surroundings - sounds, events, things happening; clear head, no more "ringing" in my ears - I could just hear what was going on around me, no trouble directing your attention, time feels proportionate to your thoughts and perception, you feel "fully present in the world", more of a sense of belonging/purpose/CLARITY.
Basically I felt like Neo when he starts seeing the Matrix as lines of green code... "Woah." Hah!
It only lasted for about 10-15 seconds, but it's a truly great feeling, and one about which I realised something pretty damn frightening: I haven't really experienced "mind clarity" as I call it, since first year of college (16 years old, which was 9 years ago). Before then, I used to have mind clarity all the time. It was the norm. Then there's a specific moment in college that I remember noticing all of the fuzzy mind symptoms and thinking "when did this start?", and those symptoms have stayed with me ever since.
Since then I've been to doctors and counsellors, got treated for depression and OCD, been on medication for those etc. I'm being very careful about how much credit I give the no PMO stuff - I don't want to get too excited and expect it to change every aspect of my life, but there is a distinct possibility that all of my symptoms could have been caused by PMOing.
Of course, it could just be a symptom of getting older and taking on more pressures! But since I've experienced flashes of mind clarity twice - and they were both when I'd cut out PMO - I'm willing to suggest that PMO might be the cause.
Scientifically, I would guess that my brain is coming out of the dopamine/deltaFosB/"chemical bath" I've kept it in since I was 16. I hope the mind clarity state is what my normal functioning brain is like, because I felt so much calmer and more focussed - and it's only ever happened when I've cut out PMO!
I'll keep an eye on this clarity of mind stuff, see if it happens again. I'd also like to know if any of you guys have experienced anything similar?
Let's get some first hand accounts of how you've felt better since cutting out PMO, or just P, and give the thread a new-year boost!
Anyway, on with day 19. Let's do this
The man-flu never materialised, which I'm pretty glad about. Hate that feeling!
I thought I'd include the following in this thread because it has the highest concentration of no PMOers of anywhere that I know about, and would like to share with you guys either so you can find hope in this or tell me about similar experiences...
As an aside, on Wednesday I had a flash of what I call "clarity of mind". It lasted about 15 seconds and I'll describe what I felt like below. I only really experienced this the last time I did no PMO for 30 days, and now I experienced it again. The best way I can describe it is like, coming out of the tunnel-vision that you get from a permanent wangover (that's my own copyrighted term for wanking hangover... and because, y'know... "wang". You heard it here first ladies and gentlemen!), losing all of the sluggishness, confusion, dazed feeling, self-doubt, and internal thought/monologue that seems to happen when you PMO too much for too long.
While addicted to PMO: tunnel vision, fuzzy mind, trouble concentrating, time passes much more quickly (like it's rushing by without you, retreat into your own mind and thoughts, trouble "hearing" things without concentrating on them, constant feeling of anxiety or deflatedness, often feeling dazed and confused.
Clarity of mind: Fully aware of surroundings - sounds, events, things happening; clear head, no more "ringing" in my ears - I could just hear what was going on around me, no trouble directing your attention, time feels proportionate to your thoughts and perception, you feel "fully present in the world", more of a sense of belonging/purpose/CLARITY.
Basically I felt like Neo when he starts seeing the Matrix as lines of green code... "Woah." Hah!
It only lasted for about 10-15 seconds, but it's a truly great feeling, and one about which I realised something pretty damn frightening: I haven't really experienced "mind clarity" as I call it, since first year of college (16 years old, which was 9 years ago). Before then, I used to have mind clarity all the time. It was the norm. Then there's a specific moment in college that I remember noticing all of the fuzzy mind symptoms and thinking "when did this start?", and those symptoms have stayed with me ever since.
Since then I've been to doctors and counsellors, got treated for depression and OCD, been on medication for those etc. I'm being very careful about how much credit I give the no PMO stuff - I don't want to get too excited and expect it to change every aspect of my life, but there is a distinct possibility that all of my symptoms could have been caused by PMOing.
Of course, it could just be a symptom of getting older and taking on more pressures! But since I've experienced flashes of mind clarity twice - and they were both when I'd cut out PMO - I'm willing to suggest that PMO might be the cause.
Scientifically, I would guess that my brain is coming out of the dopamine/deltaFosB/"chemical bath" I've kept it in since I was 16. I hope the mind clarity state is what my normal functioning brain is like, because I felt so much calmer and more focussed - and it's only ever happened when I've cut out PMO!
I'll keep an eye on this clarity of mind stuff, see if it happens again. I'd also like to know if any of you guys have experienced anything similar?
Let's get some first hand accounts of how you've felt better since cutting out PMO, or just P, and give the thread a new-year boost!
Anyway, on with day 19. Let's do this
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