The Manly Arts!

[Qandisa]

Not that I disagree with the advice, because there's something very attractive about a nicely dressed man, but I don't think that you have to wear a dress shirt to LOOK like a man. I think a lot depends on the personal situation.
FWB's daily wear is almost exclusively jeans or shorts and tshirts or long-sleeved jerseys etc. Mind you being over 6'4" and solid muscle it's not that easy to find dress shirts and suits in his size. He spends a lot of time at the gym. But his job also is a rather physical job and not a dress nicely and sit at a desk kind of job, so he doesn't have need of crisp shirts in his every day life. He does own them, and when he puts them on for special occasions he is quite a sight to behold. But that doesn't mean that he isn't every bit as sexy and respectable looking in shorts and tshirt.

 

[Dontrike]

Not that I disagree with the advice, because there's something very attractive about a nicely dressed man, but I don't think that you have to wear a dress shirt to LOOK like a man. I think a lot depends on the personal situation.

My apologies, I didn't intend to say that one should not dress up, just that I hate nice clothes and tend to not like any of the occasions that you have to wear them for. I would rather be comfortable in all situations and not be so restricted in my movement.

FWB's daily wear is almost exclusively jeans or shorts and tshirts or long-sleeved jerseys etc. Mind you being over 6'4" and solid muscle it's not that easy to find dress shirts and suits in his size.

This is my problem, minus the muscle part. I am 6' 3'', have broad shoulders, and, unfortunately, the body shape of a two person bean bag chair. Getting clothes for those sizes, even if you are not as wide as the broad side of a barn, is very annoying.

 

[TheGreatDivider]

I don't think I could ever do this. Not that my wardrobe is the usual teenage fair, as all of my shirts are plain black, it it is that nicer stuff annoys me greatly. That stuff is so constricting.

As a piece of advice I wouldn't get rid of all of it, as you may need something for just lounging around or when you need to do something a bit more physical or dirty that you don't mind getting ruined.

No, I kept clothes for working out and some regular t-shirts and shorts for days off. Everything else that had holes in it or featured anything brutal I tossed in the donation bag.

It's not that I enjoy wearing collard shirts and khakis everyday (w/wo ties), that's not it at all. I feel more confident when I look my best and I get more respect, period. People actually come up to me and asked me if I'm a employee/manager/lawyer/doctor.... several people at the VA hospital have asked me if I was a doctor/intern doctor. Women seem to like it too, so there's that as a bonus.

 

[Dontrike]

It's not that I enjoy wearing collard shirts and khakis everyday (w/wo ties), that's not it at all. I feel more confident when I look my best and I get more respect, period. People actually come up to me and asked me if I'm a employee/manager/lawyer/doctor.... several people at the VA hospital have asked me if I was a doctor/intern doctor. Women seem to like it too, so there's that as a bonus.

I suppose you have a point there. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

 

[Jake47]

Learn how to correctly knot a necktie. Also learn which knots go with which ties and what occasions.

Offer a Lady your arm.

If you are purchasing a suit- fine pinstripe not zoot suit.

Match your belt to your shoes and your handkerchief to your tie for special occasions.

Learn basic Butling skills i.e. Matching wines to food, serving skills, clearing table, types of cutlery/dishes and their use, plus how to correctly enter and leave a room and finally how to correctly polish shoes. Few things are worse than some bellend using a butter knife to eat his fish or using a cake fork on the entre or someone with scuffed shoes at an elegant event.
Basic manners and etiquette are excellent and easy to learn.

Also if you are in a LTR, take your better half out to an elegant event, ball, theater show etc. at least once a year. For this event, rent a tux or dinner jacket, wear a bow tie (Red or Black usually with a dress shirt).

A hint to look good- buy 4 good shirts with double cuffs and have them tailored to your figure. If you can afford it, have your suit 'tailored' too.

 

[closed224]

Learn to trouble shoot engine trouble.
Learn to repair car trouble, and do preventative maintenance.
If you are in a LTR teach your SO these things.
Learn to hike to the top of a mountain and harvest your own meat.
Learn humility, and graciousness even when you are right.
Respect others even if you Dont agree with them.
Be gentle with any creature.
Take care of your children, including loopy diapers, and puky drool.

 

[youforme93]

^ that sounds a lot more doable than post #245. I think a lot of this depends on geographic location.

 

[SW_CO]

Not that I disagree with the advice, because there's something very attractive about a nicely dressed man, but I don't think that you have to wear a dress shirt to LOOK like a man.

Thanks for the comment Qandisa. You also make the important point people are talking about looking like a man, not being a man. My initial impression of this thread was "Is that what the idea of being a man has come to these days?"

This along with friends who are in their 50's going gaga over the Art of Manliness site, and a new hipster site that deals with the superficial (like how to groom a beard) being touted as a place to learn about being manly, sparked a conversation with a friend who's written several books. Gist is, he's after me to write a book now on what it takes to make a man.

The old adage "The clothes make the man" is no more true than sitting in a formula 1 racer makes you a race car driver.

In fact, when Shakespeare wrote that, it was meant to be a satirical comment on the self absorbed Polonius.

If you want to talk about being manly, then talk about things like, integrity, self-discipline, commitment, patience, living your convictions, and many other things that are internal.

After all, an asshole in a suit is nothing more than a well dressed asshole.

Being tough does not make you a man if it means you are a rude, arrogant, jerk. I'm personal friends with individuals that can disassemble someone and have the history to prove it (through work or the battlefield) and are some of the politest people you'll meet.

As for the posts on gentlemanly behavior, that means little if the only reason you are doing it is to act like a gentleman rather than to BE a gentleman from the inside out.

 

[SW_CO]

Here's something to spark conversation in the direction it should be going. The idea is to make these values a part of your personality that is inseparable from who you are, not a list of empty actions.
Tried fixing the link, hope it works now.

 

[Toadstool]

Here's something to spark conversation in the direction it should be going.
View attachment 71797

a blank page?

 

[TPW]

I agree with Mark Twain when he said that "the finest clothing made is a person's skin, but society demands something more than this" So since we cannot walk around naked in public (well, not legally anyway ) and as someone who has dressed men professionally, I will tell you that clothes do, in fact, "make the man".

Whether or not you accept it, clothing is a visual representation of you. They are your own personal window dressing aimed at conveying part of who and what you are. So what message do you/are you sending out through your clothing? Are there "right" clothes for a man to wear? Yes, there are; whatever gives him greater confidence and makes him feel great. That's it. For some it may be a dressier look, for others something more casual and still others may like the "uniform" of their jobs or careers.

Whatever the style choice, there are really only two things that men need to remember when it comes to dressing well - fit and finish.

Fit - know your measurements to make sure that your clothing fits you well. Invest in a good tailor if need be, to make sure your clothes fit as they should to create a perfect silhouette of your body.

Finish - take the time to add those little touches - a good leather belt, clean shoes or boots, a tie if your wear one, etc.

So other than being well-groomed, that is all you need do to be considered a sharp-dressed man :eyebrows:

 

[Jake47]

A man needs only three things.

1. Self Respect
From this we have the ability to respect those around us.

2. Self Confidence
From this stems character and purpose.

3. Education
From this stems knowledge and with the other attributes hopefully wisdom.

 

[SW_CO]

a blank page?

Fixed for now

 

[Dontrike]

Fit - know your measurements to make sure that your clothing fits you well. Invest in a good tailor if need be, to make sure your clothes fit as they should to create a perfect silhouette of your body.

I find this interesting as you say it is alright to be comfortable and confident in something like casual clothes, but then say it should fit you perfectly. I guess I am confused by this as my preference is casual clothes that are quite roomy, especially when it comes to shirts.

 

[BigRooster]

I agree with Mark Twain when he said that "the finest clothing made is a person's skin, but society demands something more than this" So since we cannot walk around naked in public (well, not legally anyway ) and as someone who has dressed men professionally, I will tell you that clothes do, in fact, "make the man".

Whether or not you accept it, clothing is a visual representation of you. They are your own personal window dressing aimed at conveying part of who and what you are. So what message do you/are you sending out through your clothing? Are there "right" clothes for a man to wear? Yes, there are; whatever gives him greater confidence and makes him feel great. That's it. For some it may be a dressier look, for others something more casual and still others may like the "uniform" of their jobs or careers.

Whatever the style choice, there are really only two things that men need to remember when it comes to dressing well - fit and finish.

Fit - know your measurements to make sure that your clothing fits you well. Invest in a good tailor if need be, to make sure your clothes fit as they should to create a perfect silhouette of your body.

Finish - take the time to add those little touches - a good leather belt, clean shoes or boots, a tie if your wear one, etc.

So other than being well-groomed, that is all you need do to be considered a sharp-dressed man :eyebrows:

 

[TPW]

I find this interesting as you say it is alright to be comfortable and confident in something like casual clothes, but then say it should fit you perfectly. I guess I am confused by this as my preference is casual clothes that are quite roomy, especially when it comes to shirts.

Hey Dontrike,

With the advent of "relaxed fit" clothing, one can still ensure a proper fit while still being comfortable. If you prefer more casual, comfortable clothing look for pants and tees or tops that are in your size but are labeled as "relax fit."

Problem solved.

 

[Pirate]

Always playing the role of Daddy-mentor Pirate...well, some women are not so easily impressed by a man, or man-boy in this case, playing with a toddler...your spelling is even less impressive.

Oh aye, Miss Pirette,
I do try to share things that I have learned with others who are interested so, it is fair to say that I play the role of mentor and, when asked nicely, I have played the Daddy role as well. (Additionally, I have been a real life Daddy though not to anyone on this site, as far as I know.) That being said, I think it is an overstatement to say that I always play the role of Daddy-mentor.
I am quite sure that some women are not impressed by a man, or a man-boy, who is willing to play with a toddler. In my, admittedly limited, experience, however, I have come to believe that most women find that the confidence that is required to risk the unknown that is inherent in interacting with a little person and the selflessness that usually accompanies any sincere effort to engage with a toddler to be attractive traits in any person but especially in a male since so many boys are taught that being a man means being a tough guy and it can be hard to look, or feel, like a tough guy when you are crawling around on the floor pushing Thomas the Tank Engine and talking in a squeaky voice.
None the less, I found your comment regarding my spelling to be a perfectly valid one and I have taken action accordingly. Thank you for taking such an interest in my post.
Please consider starting a thread on the https://www.pegym.com/forums/introduce-yourself/ forum and tell us a bit about yourself and your reasons for being here. There, we can give you a proper welcome.
Incidentally, there was a real Pirate who went by the name Anne Bonny but she spelled her name differently than you do.
Yarrr!

 

[closed224]

And that was a fine example of how a man changes a weakness into a positive. Well done Pirate, and for whatever a rep point is worth you now have one more.
I also invite her to join us.

 

[AnneBonneyPirette]

Oh aye, Mr. Pirate, I must say I appreciate your thorough response. I confess, my intent was to get a rise out of you and it appears I was successful. May I call you Mr. Pirate? Perhaps, if I ask nicely, I could call you Daddy. Too soon?

Agreed, the predominate and unfortunate socialization of boys in our society is imbalanced toward the macho, tough guy image. It is indeed, quite manly of you to recognize and acknowledge a teenage boy who is willing to spend some quality time with a tot, (you see what I did there, right?) especially in the presence of others, male and female. I’m certain you mirrored for him not just a different message from the main stream, but a more, well rounded example of what it means to be a man. That, I believe, is attractive to women and men alike. Even sexy, depending on whom one asks. But there is a gender bias here that I cannot help pointing out. In my limited experience, I have yet to witness a man or overhear a man express that he finds it attractive, sexy when he sees a woman simply playing with a toddler. Overwhelmingly, my sense is, for a man, a woman playing with a toddler is perceived as anything but attractive and/or sexy. So, the question at this point should be obvious. But I’ll ask it anyway. In this scenario why is this behavior attractive and sexy on a man, but not on a woman?

I will consider starting a thread on the introduce yourself forum. When I do I expect a proper welcome from you, Mr. Pirate.
Yarrr, yourself!

 

[closed224]

I, in fact, do find it sexy as hell when a woman plays with a child. Maybe that is why my wife and I had so many children. I would also like to formally invite you, Anne Bonney Pirette to come play with the rest of us children on the forums. Pick and choose as you like, with no pressure, but with a whole heap of welcome.