one night stand vs someone you love

[Amerc]

hey, i would like to hear your opinion (especially the ladies).

i'm a virgin, my gf is not. she slept with one guy, for one night. she claimed she didn't had any feelings for him and after a bad experience with her ex she decided it will be better if her first time will be a one night stand without any emotions. plus, she didn't came. she didnt stay in touch with him (he texted her, she didnt reply).

i always thought that the first time for a women is something special, something she'll remember. remember the guy, the situation, everything. considering her first time was emotionless, i would like to hear the ladies opinion. do you think her first time with me, someone she love, will be different for her?

i mean its not her first time physically, but i still would like to know if there any difference between sex with someone you love and cared about and between a one night stand. or is it kinda the same. i would like to hear your honest opinions. i'll admit that the fact she slept with him bummed me out a little, knowing im not her first. but considering her first time was someone she didnt knew before and didn't stay in touch with might play in my favor.

what if i won't be as good as him? i mean im trying to do my best, read alot how to please a women and im PEing, but who knows, i might blow my load after 20 seconds. and considering her first man could last 40 minutes might make her think he was better... theres another problem, she does not know im a virgin. i know, i know, its bad. and i wish i could tell her the truth, but i can't. typing that i should tell her im a virgin is useless. because i know how improtent this is, but i have some personal reasons for not telling her.

i don't know, you guys are more experienced, and i would like to hear your opinion. and i would like to thank you, for your help.

 

[DDCRLO]

hey, i would like to hear your opinion (especially the ladies).

i'm a virgin, my gf is not. she slept with one guy, for one night. she claimed she didn't had any feelings for him and after a bad experience with her ex she decided it will be better if her first time will be a one night stand without any emotions. plus, she didn't came. she didnt stay in touch with him (he texted her, she didnt reply).

i always thought that the first time for a women is something special, something she'll remember. remember the guy, the situation, everything. considering her first time was emotionless, i would like to hear the ladies opinion. do you think her first time with me, someone she love, will be different for her?

i mean its not her first time physically, but i still would like to know if there any difference between sex with someone you love and cared about and between a one night stand. or is it kinda the same. i would like to hear your honest opinions. i'll admit that the fact she slept with him bummed me out a little, knowing im not her first. but considering her first time was someone she didnt knew before and didn't stay in touch with might play in my favor.

what if i won't be as good as him? i mean im trying to do my best, read alot how to please a women and im PEing, but who knows, i might blow my load after 20 seconds. and considering her first man could last 40 minutes might make her think he was better... theres another problem, she does not know im a virgin. i know, i know, its bad. and i wish i could tell her the truth, but i can't. typing that i should tell her im a virgin is useless. because i know how improtent this is, but i have some personal reasons for not telling her.

i don't know, you guys are more experienced, and i would like to hear your opinion. and i would like to thank you, for your help.

How about a "One Night Stand Fantasy" with the one you love? You could just die... and repeat!

 

[MrB8]

https://www.pegym.com/forums/relationship-forum/63889-sexual-anxiety.html

https://www.pegym.com/forums/erecti...cle-regarding-sexual-performance-anxiety.html


The Perils of Goal-Oriented Sex

Debunking A Popular Myth About the Female Orgasm


Please keep in mind that sex is not a performance, but a mutually pleasurable experience between two partners, just be in the moment, and focus on your and your partners pleasure, responses.


It is not a competition, never was, never will be, she is not with him regardless, and you know it, she doesn't want to be with him and you know that too, you will have so many first times together, look forward to those, not back on the past.


Not many ladies think their first time was that enjoyable unless there was a special spark between them and their partners, emotions do matter whether its the first or the 1000th time.


The odds are that you may have a future together, but you cant go there if you keep your head stuck in the past.

Please read the links above, carefully, as well as the advice you got on your previous thread.

 

[longerlastingnoob]

Ye, whether or not she enjoyed the sex, she didn't like the guy or obviously share any type of connection with him. If she does with you then thats all you need to think about when being with her. Regardless of it not being a performance, you still want it to be enjoyable, so one way to do that is take things slow. When she said the guy lasted 40 mins i'm willing to bet more than half that was foreplay, concentration on her and mini intermissions. So focus on foreplay, when you do penetrate, take it slow and switch up between using your dick and the other tools at your disposal.
Good luck man.

 

[islander]

IMO
There is no better memory than making love. Sex with someone you don't love can be great but there's no room in the memory banks to store it when you've made love.
I rather make love any day. That doesn't mean a candle lite room with Barry White playing. It's anything and everything with the partner you love.

 

[Qandisa]

Sex is different with each and every partner. Each one brings something different to the table with them (or bed, or shower, or wherever you may be). Just because sex with one was one particular way doesn't mean sex with another is going to be the same.

What that basically means is that you can't compare yourself to anyone else, because every person is different. And you can't compare whatever experiences you're going to have with this girl with ones that you might have with others in the future, because they're going to be different. So it doesn't matter what her experiences with the previous guy were like because NO ONE is going to be exactly the same as him. Heck she could sleep with him 2 years from now and chances are it would a different experience because of the ways they've both changed.

As for the someone you love vs one night stand question - to me it's irrelevant. I have had great sex, and terrible sex, in both situations.

 

[CptnD]

hey, i would like to hear your opinion (especially the ladies).

i'm a virgin, my gf is not. she slept with one guy, for one night. she claimed she didn't had any feelings for him and after a bad experience with her ex she decided it will be better if her first time will be a one night stand without any emotions. plus, she didn't came. she didnt stay in touch with him (he texted her, she didnt reply).

i always thought that the first time for a women is something special, something she'll remember. remember the guy, the situation, everything. considering her first time was emotionless, i would like to hear the ladies opinion. do you think her first time with me, someone she love, will be different for her?

i mean its not her first time physically, but i still would like to know if there any difference between sex with someone you love and cared about and between a one night stand. or is it kinda the same. i would like to hear your honest opinions. i'll admit that the fact she slept with him bummed me out a little, knowing im not her first. but considering her first time was someone she didnt knew before and didn't stay in touch with might play in my favor.

what if i won't be as good as him? i mean im trying to do my best, read alot how to please a women and im PEing, but who knows, i might blow my load after 20 seconds. and considering her first man could last 40 minutes might make her think he was better... theres another problem, she does not know im a virgin. i know, i know, its bad. and i wish i could tell her the truth, but i can't. typing that i should tell her im a virgin is useless. because i know how improtent this is, but i have some personal reasons for not telling her.

i don't know, you guys are more experienced, and i would like to hear your opinion. and i would like to thank you, for your help.

Stifler : When a girl tells you how many guys she slept with, multiply it by three and that's the real number. Didn't you fuckers learn anything at college?
Just kidding LOL
Your first time at sex will probably be not so good just like everyone else. Everyone and I mean everyone starts out with zero experience, so don't put so much pressure on yourself to be Mr. Climaxo. Just be prepared to do other things to make up for it, such as going down on her until she gets off with clitoral pleasure. At least it will sweeten things up for her knowing that you pleased her some way.
As far as penetration is concerned, maybe let her take the reins by leading. A lot of girls find that arousing when a guy is less experienced; it's unconventional but can turn out to be a positive thing.

 

[hiddengem]

You are right to think the experience for her, but also for you will be different because of the connection you share. That is the beauty of it all! As others have already stated, please do NOT compare yourself to someone else. He isn't the one whose with her and she's already told you he meant nothing to her. Trust that and forget about it. Do not even think twice on that matter. He's her past for a reason. End of story.

Just communicate with her. Ask her what she likes while you are doing it and relax and do what feels right. Do not consume yourself with worrying about performance. She is your girlfriend and obviously you two already have a special bond. Continue to care for her as you already do and everything will be fine. She is with you because she also cares for you deeply, that isn't about sex. Chances are your connection will only deepen emotionally through this experience.

You seem to feel strongly that you do not want to share with her that you are a virgin. And I am not here to change your mind. But can I just share with you my thoughts on that subject. She obviously means a lot to you as she's your girlfriend and chances are you plan for that to continue. As a woman I respect a man's honesty. I do not feel you being a virgin is a negative or bad thing at all. In fact considering your own feelings on the fact she is not, have you not thought she perhaps has had those same disappointed feelings? While neither of you can change the past, you are now moving forward. Just consider how she will feel later if you decide to tell her you were actually a virgin and weren't honest with her. It is just a thought. Best wishes!

 

[TPW]

Hey Amerc,

Your assumptions are making you worry needlessly. First and foremost, it is very unlikely that her first time having sex was earth-shattering because not only would she have been incredibly nervous, she had no emotional connection with this one night stand whatsoever. Further indication that it was not mind-blowing is that she never contacted him again.

Also, it is highly unlikely that he was able to last for 40 minutes of penetration unless he was adept at mmo or had taken something to help maintain his erection.

Therefore, since she is in love with you, you are already so far ahead of the one night stand, he is not even in the same playing field as you so there is absolutely no need for comparison.

If you are concerned about your sexually prowess or lack thereof, then let her know that you are a virgin. Give her the opportunity to participate fully in the experience with you. Trust me, it will be that much more memorable for you both because there will be no expectations, no pre-conceived ideas; it will just be two people enjoying each other intimately and learning together...and that is a truly wonderful thing to look forward to, is it not?

 

[downthere]

Hey Amerc,

If you are concerned about your sexually prowess or lack thereof, then let her know that you are a virgin. Give her the opportunity to participate fully in the experience with you. Trust me, it will be that much more memorable for you both because there will be no expectations, no pre-conceived ideas; it will just be two people enjoying other intimately and learning together...and that is a truly wonderful thing to look forward to, is it not?

I'm a guy and I would bet that if you do what TPW and hiddengem said your girl will get super warm in her undies! I don't think she'll mind one bit you're a virgin and I'll also bet she'll take the lead and love every minute of it!

 

[popol5169]

I'm the one who's getting super warm and wet reading the sentences you quoted.

I can understand you're nervous, but if there is something you want to avoid, it is to compare yourself to someone else (actually this shows a lack of confidence , earn it).

And everything has been said already, I'll just say it again so you can hear it better: relax and enjoy, be in the moment, don't put any pressure on yourself or her, have a good time , she probably has her own insecurities too.

 

[BigBaller]

Give me the one I love anyday of the week. Dont get me wrong i would tare down a girl just for fun and love it but ill take someone who cares for me any day of the week