My Positivity Journal

[Mr. TeenieWeenie]

Hey guys. I really like this forum and I don't know where else to start this thread so here it goes. This is my positivity journal; for the next month I will put in an entry into this journal in hopes of making my thinking more positive. I am shy and introverted, I recognize this and I love it, but there are situations where I would love to be just a bit more extraverted(I know you guys do too), like for public speaking and chatting up random girls. This project will raise my self-esteem, low self-esteem is a by product of negative self-thoughts, thus I need to become more positive. For each entry I will relive 1 positive aspect of my day.

11/26/13 Entry #1: I didn't want to go to Psych club today, I know I'm a nerd, but I decided to go anyway staying positive and letting good things come my way. I get to the meeting and two officer positions were open—treasurer and public relations— I took them both. I turned in my Honor society application and had an interesting discussion with an older man about being yourself, plus I got to sit next this cute little Jap girl. This meeting could not have gone any better.

 

[Toadstool]

This is all kinds of awesome. I'm repping you for this thread. You better keep it updated!

Something that helps me to keep a positive mental attitude is to verbalize, or pray, for the things that I'm grateful for - the things that have yet to happen that I would like to happen today.
"I'm grateful for the attraction I'll be able to spark in the women I talk to today."
"i'm grateful for being in control of my own thoughts and mental attitude."
etc etc

 

[MrsLooking4more]

Great Idea for a thread! The Power of Positive thinking is amazing.

 

[Koh]

I take a similar course of action that Toadstool mention. "I am" phrases are powerful, I feel; telling yourself positive things as you look yourself in the eyes of a mirrior in the morning may pep you up.

As for being extroverted enough to talk to random girls. Perspective is key in my opinion. I view it as a game; as long as I talk to a new girl I gain "experience points" eventually you'll "level up". It's all practice.

 

[Toadstool]

That is the nerdiest way of putting it.... but Koh's right! The more you do *anything,* the better you'll get at it.

 

[Steneo]

As for being extroverted enough to talk to random girls. Perspective is key in my opinion. I view it as a game; as long as I talk to a new girl I gain "experience points" eventually you'll "level up". It's all practice.

I LOVE this way of thinking about it! I wish I had thought of it when I was single and scared to talk to women.

Hey Mr. TeenieWeenie (awesome name BTW), I too was, and to a certain extent, still am both shy and introverted. Here's how I finally got over my fear of chatting up women. Just realize...KNOW...that they are just another human in this world with fears, dreams, desires, etc and talk to them as if you have nothing to gain or lose because they are just another human (I don't care how hot she is, just another human). You might be surprised by the reaction you get when you are totally natural with no agenda in your mind (like sex).

Now for public speaking I use a somewhat similar strategy. I make sure, damn sure that I know my topic better than my audience and when I KNOW that I'm THE expert in the room, I learn a few more things. Practice and then practice some more what you will say. A big part of my job is to be a good public speaker (I'm a college professor who has to deliver 2 + hour lectures) and believe it or not I get nervous before EVERY SINGLE LECTURE. So do many of my colleagues. Be the expert, know that you are the expert, swallow your fear, own the room, and I've found that by minute 10 or so I'm quite relaxed. By using this strategy I'm a very effective public speaker - I routinely get the highest student evaluations in my department (possibly the school), outstanding peer evaluations, and I won teacher of the year in my 3rd year as faculty.

 

[Mr. TeenieWeenie]

I take a similar course of action that Toadstool mention. "I am" phrases are powerful, I feel; telling yourself positive things as you look yourself in the eyes of a mirrior in the morning may pep you up.

As for being extroverted enough to talk to random girls. Perspective is key in my opinion. I view it as a game; as long as I talk to a new girl I gain "experience points" eventually you'll "level up". It's all practice.

I love the game analogy, that resonates with me

 

[Koh]

Yeah, Toadstool, it's really nerdy; but that's how I see it in my mind. I try to gain a few "exp points" a day; not trying to concern myself with good or bad interactions, just making sure I take action at all. And glad that resonates with you OP. I just remember with things like when I first started driving, I was scared shitless, now it's second nature. I'd view communication with people the same way, just practice and things will smooth themselves out and eventually become second nature.

 

[Toadstool]

Yeah, Toadstool, it's really nerdy; but that's how I see it in my mind. I try to gain a few "exp points" a day; not trying to concern myself with good or bad interactions, just making sure I take action at all.

What I'm also reading in this is that you don't tie your self esteem to any single outcome. Whether it's good, or whether it's bad, you're patting yourself on the back because you're taking those steps towards getting what you want.
THAT is successful-minded thinking right there and you can only ever succeed if you do that. Plus, dedication. You gotta stick with it.

 

[Mr. TeenieWeenie]

11/27/13 Entry 2: I caught myself having lapses of negative thinking today, I need to take some time to refocus because it is happening more often than I would like. The most positive thing that happened today is actually a couple of things. I met with my dear psychology teacher and she took the time to go over my personal statement, she actually said I had a great talent for telling stories. Then I met with a UC representative who was pretty hot for an older lady. She was so very helpful and very sweet. She made it seem I was family the way she helped me, I truly felt guided by her; she gave me so much helpful info, she even typed part of my admission. I felt connected to these people today.

 

[Mr. TeenieWeenie]

11/28/13Entry #3: I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving! I had a nice thanksgiving, it wasn't the actual dinner actually the fun part was the 1 hour car ride to my aunts house. I had a good time just being with my mom and two sisters, conversing about random things. It was nice to just hangout with the family and not worry about anything.

 

[Qarzan]

I'm going to add some things that I'm really thankful for, too!

I'm thankful for my family. We've really gone through a lot this past year. Communication has opened up on a lot of fronts. I told my mom that I was going into my first polyamorous relationship back in June. My sister came out to her as bisexual. My mom was stressed and didn't quite understand, but she pulled through like a champ. Now I feel like the three of us (my dad has already passed away) can talk about anything and everything! My sister still has yet to tell my mom that she's also poly. That'll happen in due time, though.

I'm immensely grateful for my girlfriend, [VJ]. She's taking things really well. We're so communicative and clear with how we talk to each other, making sure to check in with each other, and then being able to trust each other, take each other at what we say. She's been feeling threatened by my new relationship with [OA]. We talked it out for 4 hours, and we're thriving now.

On that note, I'm grateful for [OA], for being so sweet, kind, cute, and also direct. She's a strong woman that has expressed dedication and commitment to me. And now also to my relationship with [VJ] as well. I'm so lucky to have these women in my life.

 

[Mr. TeenieWeenie]

Curious, are your girls open to date other guys too?

 

[Knoblin]

Hey guys. I really like this forum and I don't know where else to start this thread so here it goes. This is my positivity journal; for the next month I will put in an entry into this journal in hopes of making my thinking more positive. I am shy and introverted, I recognize this and I love it, but there are situations where I would love to be just a bit more extraverted(I know you guys do too), like for public speaking and chatting up random girls. This project will raise my self-esteem, low self-esteem is a by product of negative self-thoughts, thus I need to become more positive. For each entry I will relive 1 positive aspect of my day.

11/26/13 Entry #1: I didn't want to go to Psych club today, I know I'm a nerd, but I decided to go anyway staying positive and letting good things come my way. I get to the meeting and two officer positions were open—treasurer and public relations— I took them both. I turned in my Honor society application and had an interesting discussion with an older man about being yourself, plus I got to sit next this cute little Jap girl. This meeting could not have gone any better.

Law of attraction - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Qarzan]

Curious, are your girls open to date other guys too?

Yes, they are. [VJ] is seeing another man, about once a week. It's a casual thing, as she spends most of her time with me.

[OA] is free to see other men, but has told me that she attaches to only one man at a time (she's monogamous), and right now that one man is me.

 

[Mr. TeenieWeenie]

11/29/13 Entry #4: Stayed in on a friday night working on my personal statements, had my friend come over to edit them. I was expecting a boring night but spontaneously decided to get beers. Had an interesting, buzzed conversation about writing and pursuing knowledge and intellect with my friend. Didn't think writing essays on a friday night could be fun.

 

[Mr. TeenieWeenie]

11/30/13 entry#5: I would like to thank god, my friends, my family, my GF, even you guys here on the forum, everyone in my life for supporting me and helping me develop as a human being thank you all. I just submitted my UC application with the help of my dear friend. Regardless of what happens I will follow my path to higher more evolved character. Once again, Thanks to everyone. I am truly a lucky man.

 

[Mr. TeenieWeenie]

12/1/13 Entry #6: Sunday I had a pretty scary conversation with my GF. It was about her past and I did feel jealous I still do, but when I feel weak I realize I need to worry about myself. I feel like I can turn negative energy into something that inspires me, I turn it fire, into fuel for my life. I live with a passion LOL. It truly does not bother me instead it makes me more social and outgoing knowing I can't rely on her to make me feel good. In a way it has made me even more internally validated and forces me not to seek external value for myself. A shifting of my perception at my own will. Feels great.

 

[Mr. TeenieWeenie]

12/2/13 Entry#7: Had a nice day all around but the highlight and it probably have to be a conversation in school and no it wasn't the context well maybe a little of the context but as you all know I am really shy, and anxious in public situations. One of my favorite mantras to repeat is "you don't have to be anything" basically I don't have to behave any certain way, or say certain things, I just have to be my cool unapologetic self so that is exactly what I did. It started while I was talking to a dear friend of mine in physics class, pretty casually, nothing of notice when this guy comes over and if I can be honest he intimidates me. He is not a bully, I don't want to shed him in that light, I just feel like he is superior to me, but that is my problem not his. He comes over and I just say I don't have to be anything in my head and continue talking to my friend. He comes over and greets my friend, interrupting our conversation but I just let it go, didn't make anything of it continued talking to my friend even though he was standing nearby. I know some of you don't think this is a big deal but to me it is. I had a regular conversation without any fear of the consequences. This momentum carried into the classroom where I kept up the conversation and other people around us were so curious they started asking me questions about what I was saying. I had a random guy and two girls join us in our discussion. I felt like the center of attention, pretty cool, and I was more than semi-comfortable. Win today!

 

[Qarzan]

Nothing but love for you, brother!