Girlfriend cheated on me, Advice please?

[Boosie]

Day: 2013-08-12 (4AM

Relationship fast summary :

I've been with this girl for the past 9 months or so. About 4 months into our relationship it started going really down hill. We took a break for 2 weeks from each other (not from the releationship). She told me she was annoyed with me and couldn't stand me etc. I never did anything wrong, i was just myself and she hated it.

Either way we made up and our relationship was happier then ever... i thought. It was perfectly fine, next to perfect for about 2 months.


During our break and before she went behind my back to see a guy in her class. She admittet it to me the first time yesterday to me that they only kissed once and that she felt so sad so she went home. Then TODAY she told me that they met around 10 times and that they made out at her place outside and at his place.

See the problem is the only kissing part, We are both 18 years old and seriously tho lets be realistic. Who gets together 10 times only to kiss etc? She even had sex with me within like the first 4 days so why not him?

Now to the apology, obviously there would be one. She cried her eyes out twice, the first day of admitting and the second one. Now i don't know what to do, i seriously hate people who cheat. She says she was confused and didn't like me anymore at that point but still didn't want to break it up with me just yet. She now says she isn't confused anymore and only loves me.


I wan't you'r honest opinion, should i trust her with this? Just ask questions i might of missed a few things and oh sorry for the grammar.


ps: im also debating with myself of getting me and afew friends to his house and beating him up but i don't know if its worth it.


UPDATE 2013-09-11: 11PM

Alright, So i KNEW she was lying or keeping something from me obviously so i pushed her into telling me. She told me last night that they hade sex ONCE and it was a misstake but i knew there was more. I went to her house the same morning to talk to her when she told me she had sex 6 fucking times. Before i continue tho let me give you some more info.

The guy that she cheated on me with played the "support" role in this and he VERY WELL knew everything about us. He instagated the cheating aswell. So no hes not fucking innocent.

I treated her like gold i knew i did, She knows i did NOW before all of this thats why shes so sad about it when i confronted her, i've never seen anyone cry so much like seriously. She just at that time didn't feel any attraction towards me and he was there so i mean it was doomed to happen.

But to continue, I asked her about everything details and stuff (Im wierd like this but i can deal with it easier if i know EVERYTHING) She told me he had a little dick etc and couldn't get it up but i mean she can be lying aswell. I really wanted to leave her right not but the crying just pulled me in like a fucking tornado, i'm so weak when it comes to that. We have a deal now that i can go sleep with whomever i want for 6 times aswell if i so wish(Looking through facebook chat while we speak for some potential girls)

The thing is, i'm not to sad about this i don't know why? Might be because i've been getting sh*t from my father since as long as i can remember so sh*t like this just falls right off. Or that i just simply just don't care about her?


Someone replied that im insecure and whiny etc, I'm really not. I'm not insecure i consider myself a 8-9 and i never really had a problem getting girls. Everyone has been a 8-10. I never really cared about anyone untill i met this chick. I also never whine.



I will keep you guys updated because i know some people really care, feels good to have some support from PE Gym.

 

[sweetie52]

When I wasn't sure about a relationship I was in, I told the guy that we needed to take a "vacation" from one another. I would not suggest attacking anyone. I would suggest taking a little break from this person and see other people-before a pattern is formed in your relationship. never physically attack someone-it's just not classy.

 

[Bnip]

First off...its not his fault your gf cheated on him. Beating him up is not the answer. She could have made lies and he may have never known you two were so close

Second...leave her bro. If she is going to lie and cheat like this, then she will continue. The last thing you want is to pick up an STD. When you get out of high school, making out usually turns into foreplay or sex. The only exception could be two virgins who want to keep the promise of no sex. I know its tough, but your young and other women are out there. Good luck man..

 

[frisson]

Leave her. What a waste of time. Stupid, petty sh*t like this doesn't happen when you're older.

If, however, it does, then you're seeing the wrong people.

 

[Looking4more]

First off...its not his fault your gf cheated on him. Beating him up is not the answer. She could have made lies and he may have never known you two were so close

Second...leave her bro. If she is going to lie and cheat like this, then she will continue. The last thing you want is to pick up an STD. When you get out of high school, making out usually turns into foreplay or sex. The only exception could be two virgins who want to keep the promise of no sex. I know its tough, but your young and other women are out there. Good luck man..

I'm with Bnip on this one.

Definitely don't do anything foolish and mess with the other guy. It won't do anybody any good.
10 times bro? I always say, "first time shame on you, second time shame on me." Dude, it's been 10 times. Time to kick her to the curb. She's just been keeping you around till she finds someone else and just hasn't found that person yet. One minute she can't stand you and next minute she's no longer confused? Come on man, wake up! Go and find a woman that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

 

[anonymity]

Relationship fast summary :

I've been with this girl for the past 9 months or so. About 4 months into our relationship it started going really down hill. We took a break for 2 weeks from each other (not from the releationship). She told me she was annoyed with me and couldn't stand me etc. I never did anything wrong, i was just myself and she hated it.

Either way we made up and our relationship was happier then ever... i thought. It was perfectly fine, next to perfect for about 2 months.


During our break and before she went behind my back to see a guy in her class. She admittet it to me the first time yesterday to me that they only kissed once and that she felt so sad so she went home. Then TODAY she told me that they met around 10 times and that they made out at her place outside and at his place.

See the problem is the only kissing part, We are both 18 years old and seriously tho lets be realistic. Who gets together 10 times only to kiss etc? She even had sex with me within like the first 4 days so why not him?

Now to the apology, obviously there would be one. She cried her eyes out twice, the first day of admitting and the second one. Now i don't know what to do, i seriously hate people who cheat. She says she was confused and didn't like me anymore at that point but still didn't want to break it up with me just yet. She now says she isn't confused anymore and only loves me.


I wan't you'r honest opinion, should i trust her with this? Just ask questions i might of missed a few things and oh sorry for the grammar.


ps: im also debating with myself of getting me and afew friends to his house and beating him up but i don't know if its worth it.

Have you been loyal to her? If you have, then that is what you deserve. If you are loyal and she isn't then move on. If they do it once, they will do it twice.

 

[BigO]

You need to move on. You should not trust her.

 

[islander]

OP: For a girl that young to master the lie like that, in your face, then leak out the cheat on more than one occasion, she has issues. She has stuff going on that has nothing to do with you IMO.

But unfortunately it most of the time will happen again. There are statistics that say that when a woman cheats its because she is at wits end and needs to do it so she WONT go back to the man she has no strength to run from. I tend to believe that too.

The second I separated from my ex (nothing was final yet at least thats what he thought) I immediately started a sexual relationship with someone else. This kept me from ever going back with my ex because he would never have been able to accept me back and I would never be able to go back with him and lie about it. So yea.... say good bye and keep your head up.

You don't need to trash talk her. If people ask you what happened you can say "nah, I dated her a few times for a few months, that's done"

I think whenever someone reduces what they thought as a relationship down to "dating" its a great kick in the fargin ass and you get to say it with a smile.

PS I know you are upset but do us tax payers a favor do not kick someone's ass and commit a crime that then costs me money to arrest and house your ass. No one loses a person because someone else stole them. You lose a person because THEY LEFT.

 

[bballer123]

First off...its not his fault your gf cheated on him. Beating him up is not the answer. She could have made lies and he may have never known you two were so close

Second...leave her bro. If she is going to lie and cheat like this, then she will continue. The last thing you want is to pick up an STD. When you get out of high school, making out usually turns into foreplay or sex. The only exception could be two virgins who want to keep the promise of no sex. I know its tough, but your young and other women are out there. Good luck man..

Yea I agree, you can't trust her bro

 

[WantGirths]

Everyone always says once a cheater always a cheater, and everyone always says to leave a person if they cheated on you.
I like to question the masses, and instinctively try to go against what everyone says.
This isn't one of those times. There is a good reason everyone always says it.
Especially in a case like this.
She told you not right after it happened, but a long time after it happened, and then was not even completely honest about it. She did not tell you for your sake, she told you to ease her guilty conscience.

Don't do anything to her or him, especially not him. Just walk away. It will fuck with her way more if you just walk away like you aren't even upset than if you cause a big scene.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

I've been with this girl for the past 9 months or so. About 4 months into our relationship it started going really down hill. We took a break for 2 weeks from each other (not from the releationship). She told me she was annoyed with me and couldn't stand me etc. I never did anything wrong, i was just myself and she hated it.

When a relationship goes downhilll it usually means that you are doing something wrong. When a woman gets annoyed with you it probably means you are being too clingy. You need to give her space. How often do you call her? How often do the two of you meet ? You should only be calling her once to twice a week and meeting her twice a week (3 times max). You need to set the frame for the relationship. By the situation you are in it means that she is setting the frame. Her interest level in you in going downhill. Women are emotional creatures and you have to make sure her interest level is in the 90s. Women who have a really high interest in you won't get annoyed at you for petty reasons. She will always be looking forward to meeting you. Well here's an advice, never be yourself, if you be yourself you will get burned. That's because your relationship blue print has been skewed since childhood. You are basically following the wrong blueprint. Once you know how to handle relationships then you can become yourself. For now being yourself means being an AFC. If you are naturally an Alpha male then only can you be yourself. If she hated you being yourself then you should have followed her behavioural cues and acted differently. If what you are doing is not getting you the results then vary your own behaviour and do something different.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

Either way we made up and our relationship was happier then ever... i thought. It was perfectly fine, next to perfect for about 2 months.

No your relationship was not happier than ever. It only seemed that way to you.

 

[DirtyNerd]

Move on mate once the trust has been broken it will always be in the back of your mind i work away
in the mines and come home and catch my ex with another bloke we were together for 10 years haven't
spoke to her again

focus on your goals take your time don't rush in to another relationship do the things you wanna do

I just worked and spent a lot of time with my family remember you always come first its not selfish to put your self before anyone else at the end of the day
only you can make the best of your life

life's a prick don't let it F%@K you

remember it's not you mate if shes not happy to be with you for who you are don't think you have to change you shouldn't have to
you will find a girl that's right for you i did and couldn't be happier

take care of your self mate all the best of what you future brings

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

During our break and before she went behind my back to see a guy in her class. She admittet it to me the first time yesterday to me that they only kissed once and that she felt so sad so she went home. Then TODAY she told me that they met around 10 times and that they made out at her place outside and at his place.

See the problem is the only kissing part, We are both 18 years old and seriously tho lets be realistic. Who gets together 10 times only to kiss etc? She even had sex with me within like the first 4 days so why not him?

Don't rationalize to yourself about her behaviour. It's so clear to me that she is manipulating you and she know's that you don't have what it take to break up the relationship. She's taking you for granted. Stand up for yourself and don't take this bs from her. Apparently she's good at making up stories too. She's a liar. So you better be careful and analyze whatever she tells you. She made out with him at her place as well as his place, this only means one thing. She slept with you within the first 4 days therefore you can draw your own conclusions about what happened with him. Dump her. She's not worth it. The longer you stay with her and accept her bad behaviours the more she will take you for granted and step all over you.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

I wan't you'r honest opinion, should i trust her with this? Just ask questions i might of missed a few things and oh sorry for the grammar.

No, you cannot trust her with this. End of the story.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

Now to the apology, obviously there would be one. She cried her eyes out twice, the first day of admitting and the second one. Now i don't know what to do, i seriously hate people who cheat. She says she was confused and didn't like me anymore at that point but still didn't want to break it up with me just yet. She now says she isn't confused anymore and only loves me.

Believe it or not, women are very good at doing these things. It's second nature to them. Men can't comprehend it. What you can do is dump her ass and get someone new. I am sure you are a smart guy who's capable of getting many women. Everybody hates people who cheat. Women who love you will never say sh*t like " I was confused and didn't like you anymore at that point ". Now she's telling you that she is not confused anymore and only loves you. She's giving you mixed signals. Get out before it gets worse. Consider yourself lucky you did not marry her.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

ps: im also debating with myself of getting me and afew friends to his house and beating him up but i don't know if its worth it.

Trust me, you don't want to be doing this. It's not that guys fault. He probably dosen't even know you are in the picture. Learn from this and carry on. These things happen the more women you get to go out with.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

We took a break for 2 weeks from each other (not from the releationship).

How could i have missed this ? By the way, you guys didn't take break, she took a break from you. You were not a voluntary participant is this. When women ask for a break/space, it usually means her interest level has dropped down low and she no longer is attracted to you. A RED SIGNAL.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

When I wasn't sure about a relationship I was in, I told the guy that we needed to take a "vacation" from one another. I would not suggest attacking anyone. I would suggest taking a little break from this person and see other people-before a pattern is formed in your relationship. never physically attack someone-it's just not classy.

Exactly. Women ask for space when the guy comes on too strong and makes himself too emotionally available.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

Leave her. What a waste of time. Stupid, petty sh*t like this doesn't happen when you're older.

If, however, it does, then you're seeing the wrong people.

Trust me. These things happen at all age.