Hi all,
Been a lurker for sometime, finally decided to give in and post. A little backstory might be in order... (tl;dr version at the bottom)
For as long as I can remember, I took pleasure in kegeling to pump up erections, though I didn't know what I was doing at the time. Just about whenever I got an erection, I would kegel off and on just for the hell of it - it felt good, I suppose. When masturbating I'd do it too, of course, because it felt good and would make my erections more impressive (or bring them to normalcy on an off-day, or something).
When I got my first girlfriend, we didn't even do anything overtly sexual beyond just making out and maybe undressing a bit - though I at times found myself fighting off an orgasm. Embarrassingly enough, I actually did on an occasion or two, even from just being really turned on and spooning. The first time I had sex, I unsurprisingly lasted only seconds. I figured this all would pass with time and experience.
Thankfully, the orgasming prior to any real sexual contact did, but I still last only seconds to a couple minutes at most when having sex, even with a condom on, and all bets are off when getting a blowjob. For a while I followed most advice that I've found on "official" sources online, and practiced kegels independently of erection. This not only didn't help, but I believe it also induced some erectile dysfunction issues for a while. Once I stopped practicing them regularly, things got better in the latter regard (again, thankfully - I was pretty worried for a while). I'd always suspected that it was the involuntary contractions that were getting me to the PONR too quickly, and after finding this forum, it seems my sentiments are backed up by a number of you. Some of the results I've read here are quite encouraging!
Often the slightest touch to the head/frenulum will engage a kegel for me, and any real stimulation above the low shaft will tend to do it pretty soon as well. Paying very close attention, sometimes the beginning of the contraction is almost imperceptible, but it happens and gets worse with more stimulation, and things end rather quickly. Simply focusing on and willing my PC muscle to relax hasn't worked very well for me.
RKs seem like a good route, and some tests while masturbating have indicated to me that they would be really helpful. But I'm having a really hard time doing them. Rather, I feel like I'm using way too much abs to get any kind of RK action. It's the only way I can force urine out at a rate any faster than normal. I don't know if it's just the case of an extreme muscle imbalance (I've been kegeling for a LONG time, including specifically focusing on them for a while) or if I just can't seem to figure out how to really isolate the BC, but I can't really get it to work consistently. I've tried implementing them while having sex, but even if I'm on the bottom or receiving a blowjob I find it to be really really difficult. It's almost as if I forget how to do them at the time, even if I try? This isn't to say that I haven't ever done them while in the act, but it's a rare success if I can, and it doesn't last as long as I need.
As I'm sure you all know, this is all really frustrating. If anyone's been in my boat, I'd love any advice you can give. I've read a lot of the 'classic' posts on here by Spanky and PE_Zen and Pegasus, and they've all been helpful in figuring out what's wrong, but if anyone's had an experience more specifically akin to my own, like I said, I'd love any suggestions on how to get over this damn reflex. I haven't tried actively engaging kegels every time I feel one coming on, as has been suggested, but that's just due to my own skepticism.
Oh, and one more thing: being even slightly drunk helps me out a lot, though I've never paid enough attention at the time to notice what's different about it (too excited to be actually doing well, I suppose
).
tl;dr version: I get kegel reflexes for even slight stimulation from years of practice/habit. I want to learn to keep my PC relaxed, but have a hard time reverse kegeling. Tips on working my way up to sex-level stimulation while keeping my PC relaxed desperately requested.
Thanks in advance, all.
Been a lurker for sometime, finally decided to give in and post. A little backstory might be in order... (tl;dr version at the bottom)
For as long as I can remember, I took pleasure in kegeling to pump up erections, though I didn't know what I was doing at the time. Just about whenever I got an erection, I would kegel off and on just for the hell of it - it felt good, I suppose. When masturbating I'd do it too, of course, because it felt good and would make my erections more impressive (or bring them to normalcy on an off-day, or something).
When I got my first girlfriend, we didn't even do anything overtly sexual beyond just making out and maybe undressing a bit - though I at times found myself fighting off an orgasm. Embarrassingly enough, I actually did on an occasion or two, even from just being really turned on and spooning. The first time I had sex, I unsurprisingly lasted only seconds. I figured this all would pass with time and experience.
Thankfully, the orgasming prior to any real sexual contact did, but I still last only seconds to a couple minutes at most when having sex, even with a condom on, and all bets are off when getting a blowjob. For a while I followed most advice that I've found on "official" sources online, and practiced kegels independently of erection. This not only didn't help, but I believe it also induced some erectile dysfunction issues for a while. Once I stopped practicing them regularly, things got better in the latter regard (again, thankfully - I was pretty worried for a while). I'd always suspected that it was the involuntary contractions that were getting me to the PONR too quickly, and after finding this forum, it seems my sentiments are backed up by a number of you. Some of the results I've read here are quite encouraging!
Often the slightest touch to the head/frenulum will engage a kegel for me, and any real stimulation above the low shaft will tend to do it pretty soon as well. Paying very close attention, sometimes the beginning of the contraction is almost imperceptible, but it happens and gets worse with more stimulation, and things end rather quickly. Simply focusing on and willing my PC muscle to relax hasn't worked very well for me.
RKs seem like a good route, and some tests while masturbating have indicated to me that they would be really helpful. But I'm having a really hard time doing them. Rather, I feel like I'm using way too much abs to get any kind of RK action. It's the only way I can force urine out at a rate any faster than normal. I don't know if it's just the case of an extreme muscle imbalance (I've been kegeling for a LONG time, including specifically focusing on them for a while) or if I just can't seem to figure out how to really isolate the BC, but I can't really get it to work consistently. I've tried implementing them while having sex, but even if I'm on the bottom or receiving a blowjob I find it to be really really difficult. It's almost as if I forget how to do them at the time, even if I try? This isn't to say that I haven't ever done them while in the act, but it's a rare success if I can, and it doesn't last as long as I need.
As I'm sure you all know, this is all really frustrating. If anyone's been in my boat, I'd love any advice you can give. I've read a lot of the 'classic' posts on here by Spanky and PE_Zen and Pegasus, and they've all been helpful in figuring out what's wrong, but if anyone's had an experience more specifically akin to my own, like I said, I'd love any suggestions on how to get over this damn reflex. I haven't tried actively engaging kegels every time I feel one coming on, as has been suggested, but that's just due to my own skepticism.
Oh, and one more thing: being even slightly drunk helps me out a lot, though I've never paid enough attention at the time to notice what's different about it (too excited to be actually doing well, I suppose
).tl;dr version: I get kegel reflexes for even slight stimulation from years of practice/habit. I want to learn to keep my PC relaxed, but have a hard time reverse kegeling. Tips on working my way up to sex-level stimulation while keeping my PC relaxed desperately requested.
Thanks in advance, all.
