How to deal with women who have feelings for you?

[phil88]

How do you deal with women who either have feelings for you or are attracted to you? I am talking about women that are off limits or simply dont interest you. What if they are psychically attractive?

Morally, the only thing I can think of is cutting off all contact, anything else would be leading them on, no?

Also how does it affect you to reject unattractive women with low self esteem, or any woman with low self esteem for that matter?

 

[islander]

I cant wait to hear these replies! I would think you would need to get to know the woman a little before realizing she has low self esteem. Most are very good at hiding it and it comes out when in a relationship and she starts freaking out (anxiety) over things.

 

[MrBigDick]

Oh, I have a GREAT story for this. I met this woman on eharmony and we went out a couple of times. She made me dinner one night. Body wise, she's a 6 out of 10 but what peaked my interested was her personality. So, I go to her house and quite frankly, it's a bit cluttered. TONS of knick knacks everywhere. In fact, there were so many magnets on her refrigerator, you almost couldn't see the refrigerator!!

Anyway, long story short, I made her laugh out loud and from her canine tooth back, there were no teeth!!!! They were all fucking missing!!!! "WTF?!?!?!?!?!" were my thoughts. I was already feeling iffy about the whole thing anyway and that sort of cealed it for me. And of course she wanted me to make out with her on the couch, to which I had to play shy and explain that I never know whether or not to go for it or not. Fortunately she bought it. I left that night and I ceased all contact with her. I just couldn't do it. She would look at me and I could see the "I want you" look in her eyes. Plus, she described herself as a "guy with better parts" and she told me she worked 2 jobs and was always $400 short every month of paying her bills. Yeah, that just wasn't working for me.

 

[captainsaveaho]

I'm interested in hearing replies to this as well. I'm good friends with a girl who used to date a buddy of mine, which makes her off limits to me. She's smokin hot and a really cool chick, and I know she has a thing for me although it's nothing serious. I treat her just like I would any other friend, but I try to avoid situations where we're alone (especially when we've been drinking).

I would say there's no reason to cut off all contact with them if they have a little crush on you, but if it starts to get more serious or begins to get in the way of your friendship it might be best to stop hanging out so much. I wouldn't consider it leading them on unless you're flirting with her or giving her any reason to think you're interested.

As far as rejecting unattractive women, you gotta do what you gotta do. I always feel like a dick because I know nobody likes being rejected but sh*t, it's a part of the game...If you put yourself out there you're always running the risk of being rejected. If you can't deal with that then you shouldn't be putting yourself out there.

 

[phil88]

Yeah, the buddies girlfriend one is a huge deal to me. Ill admit at this point I turn into a chauvinistic asshole. I basically do not address the girl or even make eye contact lol, I am a total ass. I really do not want my friends to think I would ever do anything like that in any way. This doesnt always work though...and i would hate to hear the opinion of me from the girls it does work on. you think maybe just quit bathing for a week or two would work lol?

 

[3rdLegParty]

I'm interested in hearing replies to this as well. I'm good friends with a girl who used to date a buddy of mine, which makes her off limits to me. She's smokin hot and a really cool chick, and I know she has a thing for me although it's nothing serious. I treat her just like I would any other friend, but I try to avoid situations where we're alone (especially when we've been drinking).

I don't see a problem if shes good looking and cool why you can't get at her. Why not just ask your buddy if his cool with it??

 

[phil88]

judging by the lack of replies I am assuming none of us know how to act lol.

 

[Always Ready Brek]

through my experience i would cut of contact.. I was friends with this girl not so long ago, she liked me. We talked about things and i told her that i had no interest in seeing her that way, but only as friends. Honest to god, i told her that 4 - 5 times. One night we were out with a few buddies and i ended up kissing a girl. the friend threw up a fit saying WHAT ABOUT US!! i was like ehhh, theres an us? She claims nobody ever hurt her as much as i did. OK
so, i didnt want to hurt her and didnt want to lead her on. I done both without meaning to. so the only way i can think of not hurting her is to cut off all contact. Or at least let you not be the one to initiate it. Who knows, maybe the girl i knew was just a nut, and ya everybody has a different personality, but my advice would be either cut contact or to put it on the back burner at most.

 

[Working2Grow]

I think Always Ready Brek's story demonstrates the problem. Some women will listen to you when you're saying 'lets be friends', and still convince themselves that you have a thing together. They will then go ape sh*t or sabotage your efforts with other women. BUT some women don't. So, IMO you've got to figure out which type she is asap, because if she can be cool then she can be a really good friend to have, but if not then you've got to cut off contact.

 

[mistydawn]

Ho do you decide a woman has low self esteem?

 

[phil88]

I dont know exactly, its hard to put into words the process of reading people lol, it includes so many facial expressions and other variables. I will think about and try to get back to you. I would start by looking for the need for validation though, but even that is hard to describe lol.

 

[RockstarParkingDude]

Ho do you decide a woman has low self esteem?

you meet her dad.

 

[captainsaveaho]

I don't see a problem if shes good looking and cool why you can't get at her. Why not just ask your buddy if his cool with it??

It's not that I can't, it's that I won't. And I doubt my friend would have a problem with it if I were to ask him, but it's just not something I'd do.
Besides, there's no better wingman then a good looking lady friend