Just need the go-ahead run!

[somebodyelse]

I'm so nervous. I've been able to turn a friend into a prospective sexual partner before (Yes, i've been able to official escape the friendzone!), but normally, i have just friends and then i have hump buddies. After my last relationship about 3 years ago, I've been timid to enter into one, and just got girls for one thing only. That actually worked out for me, in more than just sex, in a few instances!

After turning over a new leaf, though, I've slowly started getting back into dating. about 5 months ago, I started hanging out with one of my friends and his friends. In that group was this girl... Adorable, tenacious, and just down right respectable. Has a bit of a napoleon complex, and i find it ultra sexy. Since we're both short we crack short jokes on each other.

Lately we've been hanging out. Had dinner on Friday stayed with each other until 1 in the morning. Had lunch on Sunday (early Valentine's Day) I got her this "cute" pink monkey for "Single Awareness Day"... I think I may be having some kind of feelings for her. Earlier she mentioned that she doesn't "Sh*t where she plays" and "Doesn't sh*t where she eats" basically doesn't date friends or co-workers (i agree for the co-worker part). Recently she said she feels our social circle is falling apart. She's branching off to find new folks to hang out with, so her social circle will be different from mine. This leads the question... Is she opening herself up for a possibility?

She's opened up deeply to me, but we both agree you've gotta open up a bit to everyone or you'll be one of those people who only shares your intimate details with people who don't really want to hear all of it, and you'll get perceived to be a whine. We share a lot of the... dammit, let me stop rambling on, It's obvious to me now, that I like her a lot. FAWK!

She's going to have to go away to look after her sick mother soon. I've been too scared to kiss her for fear of messing up our friendship, but I'm wondering if I should just say "screw it" and go for it. I know I should because I'll just regret it if I don't... I just need some affirmation to do it!

So scared!

 

[Unit]

This sound like the beginning of a health relationship, shared interests, size compatible, common likes, time alone, intimate talks is all good. Have you tried a hug? Be sure to show interest in her mother, maybe even gift a small thoughtful gift for her to take to her mother. Call her once a day when shes is out of town and talk about her, enough to let her know that your listening. You don't have to have sex to seal the deal. It's OK to take it slow. Everything that I'm reading tells me that your ready, but in this case you'll need to watch her cues.

Ain't falling in love a bitch and so sweet at the same time. Use your head for this one and you'll do fine.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder." T.H. Bayly

 

[somebodyelse]

oh, full hugs and friendly intimacy is common. if you mean have I coddled her like one of those backwards hugs that couples do, no I haven't. I've gotten a little more hands-on and intimate with her and she's not opposed.

Well actually, now that you mention it, yea we have... it was a while back... and we look really cozy in another picture we took while out with friends.

All really good suggestions Unita! thanks a lot!

What cues though, Unita?

 

[Unit]

Man, I really need to get TTBB on this, she is so good at this type of thing. Positive cues: Her moving in closer to your personal space, more incidental contact, lingering eye contact, using you as a sounding board for her daily encounters with life, inquiries into your personal life, just making time to be with you a increase of texts and or call just to let you know that she's thing of you and this is just to name a few.

I'll PM TTBB and see if she will aid in this endeavor.

 

[islander]

That is great! I would say she is opening the door for you and probably wants to know if you are going to step thru it before she leaves.
Its exciting to feel it eh! Luv it and let us know

 

[TTBB]

You're making me blush unita :">

Somebodyelse at what point of you knowing her did she make the "she doesn't "Sh*t where she plays" and "Doesn't sh*t where she eats" comment.
and how faraway is her moms place and how serious is her moms illness?

 

[somebodyelse]

Illness is terminal, mom's is halfway across the country, and it may have been halfway through us knowing each other that it happened. We've known each other since Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity. We went to that with my friend. so around since September. she may have made the comment around mid to late January. She said that in response to someone else from the group attempting to make a move on her while we were all at a diner. A little later in the evening, one of the other girls mentioned that it seemed like there was a little bit too much flirting going on between me and my friend. She put us on blast like "Is there something else going on here?!?!" Whooaaaa lady mind your business!!!

To Add:
I was really thinking about just flying out one day when she goes and giving her someone familiar to talk to while she copes with it. I didn't want to seem stalker-ish with it though, but I'm concerned.

Flirting though? I guess we were flirting... She kept threatening to punch me in the eye, and I was saying I was going to throw her out of the diner like Jazzy-Jeff from the fresh prince of bel-air

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvJeATp31dw

 

[TTBB]

Ok i am just going to throw out a few thoughts and maybe questions.

She made the comment not too long ago... its hard to say if it was a reflex reaction to her friend ..or if it was a clue.
i know when i was younger i hung out with a group of guys, most of the guys had crushes on me.. I viewed most of them as my best friends.. i had feelings for more then one of them, but i would not cross the line from friend to more with any... the not dating friends thing was something i would say to guys as an excuse...something i would say to drop a guy a hint not to try for more.

With her mom being terminally ill and her going away out of state.. i think the timing of things might be wrong...She is dealing with a lot of change in her life and emotional strain.. relationships can be comforting but they also can add strain esp long distance ones...

I would suggest being a very good friend to her with no sexual pressure at this point in time.. Before she goes you could express that when she comes back you would like to date her or see if there is the makings for a more then friends relationship... the girl who is going away to be with her mom may not be the girl who returns from her mom... and when she is away she needs to be focused on that situation not on your needs too.... i am not saying not to show her care or make her feel attractive or desirable because she will need that sort of positive energy during this time ..i am saying don't put pressure on her for a relationship or sex to fill your needs and desires at this time...By expressing your desire to date her before she goes ..it gives her time to think about it with out pressure..

Flying out there probably a little stalkerish at this point in time.. if she maintains solid phone contact with you etc and she hints at missing you etc then maybe ..but for now no.

 

[somebodyelse]

Ok i am just going to throw out a few thoughts and maybe questions.

She made the comment not too long ago... its hard to say if it was a reflex reaction to her friend ..or if it was a clue.
i know when i was younger i hung out with a group of guys, most of the guys had crushes on me.. I viewed most of them as my best friends.. i had feelings for more then one of them, but i would not cross the line from friend to more with any... the not dating friends thing was something i would say to guys as an excuse...something i would say to drop a guy a hint not to try for more.

With her mom being terminally ill and her going away out of state.. i think the timing of things might be wrong...She is dealing with a lot of change in her life and emotional strain.. relationships can be comforting but they also can add strain esp long distance ones...

I would suggest being a very good friend to her with no sexual pressure at this point in time.. Before she goes you could express that when she comes back you would like to date her or see if there is the makings for a more then friends relationship... the girl who is going away to be with her mom may not be the girl who returns from her mom... and when she is away she needs to be focused on that situation not on your needs too.... i am not saying not to show her care or make her feel attractive or desirable because she will need that sort of positive energy during this time ..i am saying don't put pressure on her for a relationship or sex to fill your needs and desires at this time...By expressing your desire to date her before she goes ..it gives her time to think about it with out pressure..

Flying out there probably a little stalkerish at this point in time.. if she maintains solid phone contact with you etc and she hints at missing you etc then maybe ..but for now no.

Yea, that's how I felt... I felt flying out would be too much. I put myself in her position like "yea, that'd be a little weird" I don't want to put any undue pressure on her, which is why i'm apprehensive about everything. Timing is always pretty rough for me...

During our lunch, she told me about the thing with her mom, among other things. She said she didn't want to go back because she thinks she'd not come back. Lots of other family issues that have to be worked out too. So it's really tough for her... You know what makes her amazing is that she's got this personality that she doesn't let it bring her down to her knees, but she did express to me she's been there before. "Bottle of wine, crying on the kitchen floor." I admire her strength.

I just want to be there for her because we're kind of going through the same thing. My mom had a breast cancer scare, let alone a really bad car accident all within a few months of each other, so i know how scared she is and we talked about how we didn't want to raise kids without grand parents. It's weird... anyway, i'm rambling again. So yea, back to the point, she doesn't respond to texts very often because she's super busy during the day, so unless it's absolutely imperative, during the week, she's out of touch.

Our dinner on Friday was postponed from that Tuesday. She text me to ask me to come out with her for Pho. I couldn't, so she said "next time." she text me that Friday said she canceled plans and wanted to have dinner. I asked her out for monday lunch, She said she never has time for lunch breaks on Monday, so I said Sunday and that's how we ended up having lunch on Sunday.

hRmmm Now that I'm able to review events, I can see where this is going to go. I'm just going to set back. I knew I needed to talk it out so I could figure out which end up was up. Thanks

-SBE

 

[Unit]

I love that, TTBB is a Demigoddess.

 

[somebodyelse]

It's so much easier when it's not your situation to see rightside up. I can analyze a situation from the outside easily, but in matters of my heart, I'm a sitting duck... I was all upside down in this situation but thanks for letting me talk my way back into equilibrium.