Girl Advice Needed, RIB's Version

[RIB2211]

Please note that this is in no way as serious as PESuccessguy's thread

So a brief background about this girl and I's history...

We previously dated in high school for about 4 months (freshman year). I was the worst boyfriend ever (my first real relationship). Very immature, basically. We broke up on good terms, but about 2 weeks later it turned bitter. We didn't really talk again until my junior year. We became solid friends. However, she now lives very, very close to my school and so we've been hanging out a lot. I know her parents very well (family friends, they ending up becoming during high school), and just the other night I attended dinner at their place.

I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie this week (without making it sound like a date, I don't want to creep her out). She said sure, even after I told her it was just going to be me. Now, I'm a bit of a classical guy...I pay for everything, hold doors, pull out chairs, and always drive (my parents made sure I learned that). But the thing is, I don't want to creep her out, and if she is not in to me, I still want to hang out and be friends...I'm worried that if I do all those things, and she doesn't like me, it will be too much!

So I mean, should I even offer to pick her up, and should I still pay for both tickets? I know I'm not going to try and make a move in the theater (hell, I want to see this film!).

 

[ReetB]

Well in my experience if a girl says yes to go with you and knows it just you, then there's probably a good chance that she wants to get back with you. Like I say though, this is only based on my experience.

What I would do is exactly what you've said. Be a gentleman, hold the door open etc and treat her like a princess. This will show her that you've matured and are different from the person you were before. I'm sure she'll like this and it'll only make her feel more comfortable with you.

You'll know if she wants more, you'll see that look in her eyes. Also if she does want you and you don't make a move, this will more than likely make her want you even more lol! Years ago I saw this girl who I liked, but I wasn't that into. So I was just me, very relaxed with her, treated her like a princess, etc but I wasn't bothered if it went further. Anyway, after a few weeks she was literally skipping hot for me and when I finally gave in, she was all over me!

So in a nutshell, take her out, treat her really well and watch for the signs she makes. Does she play with her hair when she's talking to you? Do her pupils dilate when she looks at you? Some of these are signs of attraction. But don't make a move unless you're totally sure it's what she wants!! If you're not sure, just be the perfect gentlemen. The chances are that she'll want you even more if you do this and then the ball is in your court

Hope this helps.

 

[RIB2211]

Thanks man

About two weeks ago she asked me to go the movies, but I couldn't because of conditioning for my sport. I later found out she was going with all of her friends from work anyway so it would not have been a 1 on 1 thing. I'm pretty certain she is going to bring one of her friends along to this one.

I actually just texted her and said I was pretty sure her place was on the way and I could pick her up. She replied bluntly that she was out of the way and she could meet me. This is going to be a "friend thing" for sure...oh well!

 

[W.M.P.]

I'd say cut out all the "gentleman" crap and just relax and enjoy a good, friendly time with her. If you don't wanna seem too interested and end up creeping her out, then just treat her like a cool friend who you just happen to be hanging out with and not like a girl that you're trying to impress. If you go out for a bite after the movies, then you can sprinkle some light, fun flirting to test the waters and see her reaction. Doing this will send the message that you're fine just being friends but would not mind having some more intimate fun if she's up to it. I think paying for her ticket is cool as long as she's fine with it, but if you get all Suave, pulling chairs and sh*t, then you'll come across as being interested in being more than just buddies, which will backfire on you if she's not feeling like that.

 

[RIB2211]

yeah that's what I was thinking WMP. I already had the "do you want me to pick you up?" question blow up in my face, so I'm not going to push anything else. I'll still hold the door for her and stuff, cause well, I do that for any woman even I don't know them! I probably won't offer to pay for her ticket...the only thing I'm going to do is walk her back to her car...it will be late (around 1 AM probably), and it just wouldn't be safe to let her walk around a large parking lot by herself at that hour. There's no dinner involved or anything before hand, by the way.

 

[RIB2211]

hahahahaha well looks like this is cancelled. She just texted me and said her schedule came out and she has to open Friday so she can't go. Part of me believes her because I used to be a waiter as well, and our schedule came out on Wednesdays...but I kind of believe she just backed out on her own will. Doesn't bother me at all though, got two of my friends to go anyway!

Thanks for the tips guys, I'll put them to use in future situations

 

[spudz]

Dated freshmen year? how long ago was that? I ask because I've had this amazing "gal pal" since like sophomore year and I think all friendships progress the same after a break up.

 

[RIB2211]

hahahaha it was like 5 years ago for us...pretty obselete if you ask me!

 

[Larger]

For me, I just go for what I want. If your goal is something for the long run, like serious dating and all that search for "love" then you want to be yourself. Because sooner or later they will find out who you really are, so why not show them now? If you're a gentlemen, then be that. Don't hide who you are. If you're an assertive gentlemen then do that. Every chick is different. But I'm incredibly assertive, or so my friends say.

I have no experience in having a relationship--well a serious one per say, but most women respond to confidence. I dunno about all, there are feminists out there. I find people that treat women like sh*t don't get laid because they treat women like sh*t, it's because they have no second thoughts, and that impulse attracts women.

Make her want you, because you are fucking awesome and she would be lucky to hang out with you. In other words, act as is she is playing for you. Be busy, take a while to reply to texts or calls. Guys like a challenge. So do the ladies.

 

[Irish&Growing]

Chivelry aint dead pal and you should keep it that way.Be a gentleman and keep doing what yer doing but dont be too chivelrous and fall into the "friend zone".Constantly throw out subtle sexual signals,(maintain good eye contact,touch her hand gently from time to time,when you come in for a hug make sure your head touches hers so she can feel you breath on her neck and you can feel hers also and I cant stress this enough no matter what you do and what happens make her feel like shes the most important person around but at times act a little distastant but not too distant.This will create some good unconscience sexual tention that will keep you out of the dreaded FRIEND ZONE.But above all dont try to be someone else just be you.Being comfortable with yourself will turn ya into a Casanova which you never realized you could be,sometimes you wont have to do anything at all and the girls will come to you if you keep yer confidense up,chicks can sniff out confidese like a pig sniffs out truffels trust me.Good Luck buddy and just have fun.