Thought For Today

[JonPop]

Subject: Many a true word...............

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back patio and filled
it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it is as I filled it
lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking
advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.
But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio,
above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the sh*t... It
was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and
try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And
other birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and
squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded
that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit in my own back garden anymore.
So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds
were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they
had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to
be ..... quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free
meal.

Now let's see..... our government gives out free food,
subsidised housing, free medical care, and free education and allows
anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.
Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our
taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5
families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room
doctor; your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because
over half the class doesn't speak English.
Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one'
to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other
than the American Flag are squawking and screaming in the streets,
demanding more rights and free liberties.
Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take
down the bird feeder.
If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the sh*t...

 

[JonPop]

Thought for today:

Everyday, I break my previous record for being alive.

 

[remek]

Thought for today:

Everyday, I break my previous record for being alive.

And you'll continue to do so

 

[JonPop]

Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise or a spammer doesn't delete me. Hee

 

[remek]

Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise or a spammer doesn't delete me. Hee

No deleting is going to happen if I have a say so! HeHe.

 

[JonPop]

Watch my back, I'll watch yours, Sir Remek.

 

[JonPop]

HECK

IS WHERE PEOPLE GO THAT DON'T BELIEVE IN

GOSH!

 

[smallie]

HECK

IS WHERE PEOPLE GO THAT DON'T BELIEVE IN

GOSH!

honestly man, i laughed for like 10 minutes when i read this

 

[remek]

Thought for the day:

Be what you are. Do what you do.

 

[JonPop]

Thought for the day:

Be what you are. Do what you do.

Um...Rem. Is your day job an Army recruiter? Hee

 

[remek]

Um...Rem. Is your day job an Army recruiter? Hee

No, I haven't resorted to that just yet

Today's thought:
Do what you do well, and do it one step better. Do what you do poorly, and look onto how to improve it.

 

[kingpole]

I tried to think the other day and could not. Hehehehe!

 

[Iguana]

My philosophy:

I'd rather have one and not need it than to need one and not have it...

 

[0h2B9]

Just a quote that motivates me

Just a quote that motivates me

"A Person that is good at excuses, is seldom good for anything else"

I always remember this when I come up agains lifes little problems. might be worth a thought for all those people here who are using excuses for not reaching there goals.

just remember if one man has achieved something there is no reason that another man cant, if he has two arms, legs and a good forum with sound advice to back him up.

 

[remek]

"A Person that is good at excuses, is seldom good for anything else" . . .

just remember if one man has achieved something there is no reason that another man cant, if he has two arms, legs and a good forum with sound advice to back him up.

I like that motto.

 

[JonPop]

Only in America ..do drugstores make the sick walk all
> the way to the back of the store to get their
> prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes
> at the front.
>
>
> Only in America ..do people order
> Double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
>
> Only in America ..do banks leave both doors open and
> then chain the pens to the counters.
>
>
> Only in America ..do we leave cars
> Worth thousands of dollars in the
> Driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
>
>
>
>
> Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten
> and buns in packages of eight.
>
>
>
>
> Only in America ..do we use the word 'politics' to
> describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning
> 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
>
>
>
>
> Only in America ..do they have drive-up ATM machines
> with Braille lettering.
>
>
>
>
> EVER WONDER ...
>
>
>
>
> Why the sun lightens our hair,
> But darkens our skin ?
>
>
>
>
> Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth
> closed?
>
>
>
>
> Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins
> Lottery'?
>
>
>
> Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
>
>
>
>
> Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
>
>
>
>
> Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and
> dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
>
>
>
>
> Why is the man who invests all your money called a
> broker?
>
>
>
> Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called
> rush hour?
>
>
>
>
> Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
>
>
>
>
> Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
>
>
>
>
> Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal
> injections?
>
>
>
>
> You know that indestructible black box that is used on
> airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of
> that stuff?!
>
>
>
>
> Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
>
>
>
> Why are they called apartments when
> They are all stuck together?
>
>
>
>
> If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the
> opposite of progress?
>
>
>
>
> If flying is so safe,
> Why do they call the airport the terminal?
>

 

[JonPop]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES



1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.



2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.



3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.



4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.



5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.



6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.



7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.



DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

 

[JonPop]

I went into the gas station today and
asked for five dollars worth of gas.....


The clerk farted and gave me a receipt...

 

[JonPop]

ADULT: a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
HANKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON: a bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have, similar to my character lines!

 

[JonPop]

Apparently, a self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one", the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon. Our space probes have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, ships and electric and hydrogen cars, cell phones, computers with light-speed processing...and more."

After a brief silence, the senior citizen responded as follows:

"You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young........so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little sh*t, what are you doing for the next generation?"

The applause was amazing...