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What to make of what my gf said?

GettinBig1

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So, I get along very well with all of my girlfriend's friends. I am respectful and kind to all of them and vice versa. However, I get along better with one of her friends than any of the others, mostly due to a number of shared interests between me and my gfs friend. I am not attracted to her friend at all in a romantic sense (which is important, as you will see).

In the past, my gf has noticed how well I get along with her friend, and has said that she wonders if I had met her friend first if I would be dating her friend instead of her. Just some extra info: my gfs friend is in a relationship, we have never gotten the slightest bit inappropriate (no flirting, touching, anything like that, etc.), every time I have seen my gf's friend has been when I'm with my gf, I would never cheat in a relationship, and, once again I am not attracted to her friend at all.

But the other day, I was talking to my gf's friend and we made a bet on a sports game, with the loser having to buy the winner a drink the next time everyone was out. I mentioned this offhandedly to my gf, and she said "That sounds like a date. Are you sure I'm allowed to come with?" She wasn't angry or anything, and it seemed like she was joking, but it was just a really weird thing to say. I guess I am just trying to make sense of it because it really surprised me. What is your take on this?
 

akaTrex

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Your actions are fueling her insecurity

She is looking to you to make her feel secure in your relationship.
You are not interested in the other gal, but can the same be said for her.

Just because your gf's friend is in a relationship, doesn't mean your gf's friend is not testing the waters with you.

Food for Thought . . .

P.S. I mention the above because it has happen'd to me. Twice with Married friends.
Both later divorced and "Who were they gunna call . . . . . . . . . . . and Yes they did.
 

Jackxxx

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Well she is a jealous person. And nothing will change that. So it is you the one who has to options as a FAVOR to her, because in reality this is HER problem, not yours. But if you care for her, you should distance yourself from her friend. Or if you don't really care about your GF, just don't pay attention to her drama and keep very close to the other one. If things get out of hand, just walk away and find another one. Simple as that. I am way over drama from a long time lol.
 

GettinBig1

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@ akaTrex - I am pretty sure that her friend is not interested in me romantically. As I said, her friend is currently also in a relationship, and has showed no signs at all of being interested in me. You said that you believe my actions are fueling her insecurity. Do you think what I did was wrong, even though I was really just trying to be friendly?

@Jackxxx- I'm pretty distant from her friend to begin with! I see her friend maybe every 2 months or so, when I am hanging out my gf and her friend joins us (actually, usually we will hang out with both my gf's friend and her boyfriend too). And I really dont talk to her friend much at all outside of this. This is part of the reason I thought it was such an odd thing for my gf to say.
 

CompensatingForMuscleMass

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Uhm maybe it was like... an actual joke? That really sounds like a joke to me. Especially if she's coming along anyway. Maybe she's a bit insecure and trying to joke around to get you to react in a way that shows her you only care about her, but I doubt she's going batshit crazy over this any time soon.

If you ask me it's good that you get along with her friend a little too well. Even better if she thinks her friend secretly wants you.

Just relax and don't mess up this situation.
 

MarchSalami

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My wife pulls this on me all the time too. Just try to ignore it...

I guess I am a bit insecure myself because I get really mad every time my wife gets jealous... I know I should just ignore it and take it for what it is, because it always passes.

It is not just a joke. She is probing and testing and looking for a response. Trying to reason has never worked for me, because the jealous mind does not listen to anyone or anything except for any detail that will fuel further jealousy.

I have to live with this bullshit and I', slowly getting better at it...
 

Addiction

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Your actions are fueling her insecurity

She is looking to you to make her feel secure in your relationship.
You are not interested in the other gal, but can the same be said for her.

Just because your gf's friend is in a relationship, doesn't mean your gf's friend is not testing the waters with you.

Food for Thought . . .

This this this this this!

Your gf only wants your reassurance. It is coming across in odd ways, but that's all she wants and needs from you. It's perfectly healthy to give reassurance to a person you are in a relationship with, sometimes we all need a bit of that affirmation. It isn't weak, or any of that bullshit. It's normal to feel insecure, jealous, or whatever else that may come up in a relationship. We are human, we have feelings. Address the feelings and talk about it before it gets to be a bigger issue.

And yes, it was a joke, but that was because that's the only way she knows how to talk about the issue without causing a big deal about it. She doesn't want to come off as jealous or show her insecurity, therefore she makes the comment jokingly.
 

akaTrex

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@ akaTrex - I am pretty sure that her friend is not interested in me romantically. As I said, her friend is currently also in a relationship, and has showed no signs at all of being interested in me. You said that you believe my actions are fueling her insecurity. Do you think what I did was wrong, even though I was really just trying to be friendly?

GettinBig1, No I do not think your did anything wrong. That being said Women are on a different wave length. Things that roll of our backs do not with women and vice versa.

Reminds me of . . .
 

dmizzle

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You could talk to your girlfriend about it.
 

ScarletSkull

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Yes, like dmizzle said. Talk to her about it.

And truth be told - there's a chance that either you or the friend or both have given some slight indication of interest/compatibility. It happens all the time, unconsciously and she may have picked up on it and magnified it in her mind. Or maybe she's testing you. Or who knows. But ask her - I know it sounds like a minor thing to ask her about, but just tell her "hey it's kinda bugging me that you say this because it seems like maybe this bothers you more than you let on, is there something I did that made you think this way?"
 

Melo11

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There are 2 ways of solving: trying to ignore or discuss it
 

GettinBig1

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I had already discussed this with her before posting (c'mon, do you think I wouldve asked a bunch of random dudes on the internet before her?!). But she just told me that it was just a joke. But, I just thought it was a very odd joke to make, and thought that there may be more to it even though my gf denied it.

@Scarletskull - I do not think her friend and I were giving off signals since I am not at all attracted to her friend. I would assume that her friend is not attracted to me at all either since she has a bf. But I suppose it is always possible my gf mistook a friendly gesture for something more?