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Relationship in Danger - Need help

mpit52

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Hey guys,
I'm in need of some serious help as my relationship is in danger. I seem to be able to last from 30 seconds to 1.5 minutes (depending on position) and it is causing serious stress in our relationship. I have been doing Kegels and Reverse Kegels for about a month now with no results. I've read a few articles on here and some seem to contradict themselves. Some people believe that you should hold kegels for 10 seconds and do 50 reps while other say to go for a longer hold time and less reps. Can someone please help me with a "routine" of sorts? I'm currently holding them for 10 seconds at 10 reps as I was working towards the longer hold time. I preform these just about every other day, when I remember. I'm at the point where I'm about to set a full time schedule with reminders on my phone. This has caused me grief in the past and I would like to finally put it behind me. My goal is to last closer to 10 minutes, I don't need porn start status. Any and all help would be much appreciated.


PS. I read some success stores and guides so plead don't blindly point me in that direction. I'm looking for a known working routine. Yes I know everyones body is different but at least its a starting point.

PSS. Before you start bashing on my partner, she has been working with me and very understanding. It's just getting to the breaking point.
 

Treant

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I don't mean to pry but I'm about 7 months into the same situation and I know oral doesn't always change that they want to be penetrated after, but do you keep your confidence in check when it fizzles out? Do you follow up PASSIONATELY and go to town with your mouth / fingers / a small vibrating bullet? These things are important. And I'm not judging at all or doubting.

I too get scared that one day my GF may get sick of our lack of a great sex life but I also think that women want more than just sex. Don't give up and try to get your confidence / anxiety in check, it is a bigger enemy than ANYTHING else when it comes to a relationship with a female. The most awful thing you can do is get so into your body and your own head that you are reacting to things you've imagined when she is ok. Eventually girls sometimes start to follow the patterns of emotions we create if it's consistent enough.

Again I don't know the whole situation, but both of you are human beings with hearts and souls and little kids inside of you. Deal with this from that place, and express yourself from THAT Place.
 
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TheZZMan

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You should be looking and using the search button in this forum to Edging. It is a form of training that you eventually learn what triggers your point of no return (PONR). It takes time but you basically, on your own, tease yourself to the point where you would normally orgasm. At that point, you try different things until you train yoursel to get through that feeling. The key is to fail in the short run so you can learn your body and correct in the long run. Search this site, lots of reading to be done. Good luck and keep us posted, this IS something you can overcome.
 

incogneeetoe

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This is what I do:

I do daily Kegels and Reverse Kegels.
- 25 kegel in and reverse kegel out. Meaning I pull the balls up towards the body then push them out and away. Usually while waiting at the red light, so 2 or 3 times on the way to work.
- 25 rolling kegels. start a kegel at front, and move the hold all the way back towards the anus, so that I have a fully tensed pelvic floor. Then start a reverse kegel at the front and move the reverse hold back. Like I am rolling or making a wave with my pelvic floor. 2 or 3 times on the way home from work.

I do pelvic thrusts with each workout to warm up. This gets the pelvic are all warmed up and it simulates the motion of PIV sex. I find that just the motion of sex makes my Pre-E act up, so pelvic thrusts. Count of 40, minimum. So 3-4 times a day.

I do daily edging.
- I start by jerking the penis to get hard. Use each hand, palm up and palm down. Count of 100 with the curve, 140 against the curve.
- 10-15 minutes fully erect trying to get as hard as possible without hitting PONR

I do Yoga every night before bed.
Including...
- Planking
- Hindi Squats
- Cobra Pose
- Childs Pose
etc.


Started out a few years back with bad Pre-E. Two days ago nailed my wife for 20 minutes. Multiple positions, lots of thrusting.
Truth be told, we now have the opposite problem, as she orgasms far too quickly. I had to change positions multiple times so that she would not orgasm. In the end she came long before I did.
 
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skorpyo93

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This is what I do:



Started out a few years back with bad Pre-E. Two days ago nailed my wife for 20 minutes. Multiple positions, lots of thrusting.
Truth be told, we now have the opposite problem, as she orgasms far too quickly. I had to change positions multiple times so that she would not orgasm. In the end she came long before I did.

Haha. I can`t wait to have that problem aswell. How long did it take you to have such control over your kegels?
 

yourface97

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incogneetoe, did you edge with lube/stu? And could you explain what you mean by "Use each hand, palm up & palm down. Count of 100 with the curve, 140 against the curve."? Thanks!
 

rezult67

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Yes, please say more about the edging technique.

Also, about the pelvic thrusting -- did you mean 3-4 sesions of 10 reps or 3-4 sessions of 40 reps?
 

mpit52

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I don't mean to pry but I'm about 7 months into the same situation and I know oral doesn't always change that they want to be penetrated after, but do you keep your confidence in check when it fizzles out? Do you follow up PASSIONATELY and go to town with your mouth / fingers / a small vibrating bullet? These things are important. And I'm not judging at all or doubting.

I too get scared that one day my GF may get sick of our lack of a great sex life but I also think that women want more than just sex. Don't give up and try to get your confidence / anxiety in check, it is a bigger enemy than ANYTHING else when it comes to a relationship with a female. The most awful thing you can do is get so into your body and your own head that you are reacting to things you've imagined when she is ok. Eventually girls sometimes start to follow the patterns of emotions we create if it's consistent enough.

Again I don't know the whole situation, but both of you are human beings with hearts and souls and little kids inside of you. Deal with this from that place, and express yourself from THAT Place.


I appreciate the support in my situation. It is unfortunate but she is not a bit fan of foreplay, she prefers intercourse. apparently all of her ex's have been studs who could control when they wanted to cum; going through multiple positions. While I already made it clear that I can't be compared to her past experiences, I'll do what I can to increase my duration.
 

mpit52

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You should be looking and using the search button in this forum to Edging. It is a form of training that you eventually learn what triggers your point of no return (PONR). It takes time but you basically, on your own, tease yourself to the point where you would normally orgasm. At that point, you try different things until you train yoursel to get through that feeling. The key is to fail in the short run so you can learn your body and correct in the long run. Search this site, lots of reading to be done. Good luck and keep us posted, this IS something you can overcome.


Thank you, I will do so. Currently edging is not part of my normal routine. Maybe this is what I'm missing.
 

incogneeetoe

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incogneetoe, did you edge with lube/stu? And could you explain what you mean by "Use each hand, palm up & palm down. Count of 100 with the curve, 140 against the curve."? Thanks!

I edge in the shower, so apart from some soap periods, no lube.

When gripping the erection I normally grip with the right hand in a normal grip, IE with the palm up, thumb away from body. But, I have a curve to the left, and I think one of the reasons is a lifetime of masturbation with the right hand in that grip. So I am trying to get that curve straightened out a bit by changing how I grip the erection.

I alternate hands and grips. Start off with left hand, palm up thumb away from body, and jerk against curve to a count of 70. Then right hand palm up, thumb away from body, and jerk to a count of 50. Then left hand palm down, thumb close to body and jerk to a count of 50. Finally right hand palm down, thumb close to body, jerk against the curve to a count of 50.

I do this "jerking" to condition myself to that feeling. I started out at 70 each hand, but would generally get to the PONR by about the 50th on the second hand. Meaning I would reach the PONR with 120 jerks of my erection. Then I worked up to 100 on each hand. Then I started to alternate grips to combat the curve. And added more "jerks". Now I can probably do about 300 without hitting the PONR. I am not really sure how well this plays into actual sex, but by quantifying like that I gave myself easily delineated points of reference to see how long I could last before the PONR.
 

incogneeetoe

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Yes, please say more about the edging technique.

Also, about the pelvic thrusting -- did you mean 3-4 sesions of 10 reps or 3-4 sessions of 40 reps?

3 or 4 sessions of 40 reps. So all in all about 120-160 thrusts per day. Only takes about 3 minutes of time.

I generally do 4 PE sessions per day, each about 10 mins. Each time, to warm up I grip my flaccid penis with two hands, like a golf club or baseball bat, but reversed, thumb into the body. I hold the flaccid stretched out like that in my two hands and do pelvic thrusts. Good for the lower abdomen; good for getting the blood going in the region; good for simulating the thrusting motion during sex.

As part of my yoga routine I will do another 50-75 reps, but not griping the penis. Just thrusts. Then I will go into the hindi squat. Then Crane Pose...then Cobra Pose...then Child Pose. All for pelvic floor.
 

Big Al

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Your best bet is to perform edging training during intercourse. Even if you have to take long pauses, attempt to increase the amount of time between starting and ejaculating each session. Once you can achieve 20-25 minutes or so you'll have achieved temporal mastery- and then you can "fill in the gaps" by putting even more focus on the aspects of hardness, ejaculatory and emotional control.

For a quick trick, ejaculate early and lightly in the session so you can recuperate and attempt to perform again. This in and of itself will help you to improve your refractory period time.

Above all- DON'T STRESS! Focus solely on enjoying the experience and make any performance related aspects of the process as objective as possible. Premature ejaculation is on the low end of the spectrum of ED. Further stressing over it will merely hasten your descent towards more severe issues.
 

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You have read the must read stickies in this forum i take it?
 

incogneeetoe

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Haha. I can`t wait to have that problem aswell. How long did it take you to have such control over your kegels?

Sorry, missed this question yesterday.
In some ways it took me along time. Years.
I started kegeling way back.
But added in reverse kegels two years back.
To be able to do what I do now, about 6-8 months.
 

skorpyo93

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no problem at all. thanks for the answer.