So, a year ago broke up with my ex-gf. Loneliness hit hard pretty soon, of course where did I turn for "help"? No, not drugs and alcohol....to porn. Even though I knew and red a lot about it how harmful it can get. Porn was my all time stress reliever, my happy place where I would go when everything felt like sh*t. This time it got really out of hand. Sometimes I even watched pics at my workplace when I was alone in the office. When I got home I was like jerking off to porn like 3-5 times a day, everytime clicking on more, morE, moRE, mORE and MORE videos and using a stronger and stronger grip every time, sometime to an extent that I got small blood bursts on my dick like when you jelq with a really hard grip. I was flooding my brain with porn videos and abusing my dick. Bit jump back in time. In the beggining of our relationship with my now ex gf, our sex life was amazing. Like we did it like 5-6 times a day. Sometimes I was ready in 10 minutes for a another round after ejaculation. I had rock hard erections and really good control over my stamina. Of course at the 4th or after the 4th round it took a bit more "work" to get it up, but still got hard and of course there were times hen I came in 5 minutes in the first round, but there was time when I had such a great control I could go for an hour. Even once we played a thing, that we had sex multiple times a day without me cumming only at the end of the day, just to see how big load I can shoot, and everytime I could go fast and hard and could stay in control, it was amazing. Sometimes she was begging me to stop because she couldn't take anymore orgasms. I felt like a pornstar, it was amazing. So back to after the break up part. Around november in last year, I decided it is time to go out pick up some girls. So I had 4 one night stands since than. With the first girl I felt pretty nervous. We got into it, started having sex, she was amazingly hot and beautiful and still I got limp during intercourse, it's like I barely felt her. I jerked off like 3 times the day before. But this never happenned to me. Even when things wasn't good with my ex, and I sometimes jerked off and somehow got to have sex with her, I had no problem getting it up even though I jerked off like 2 times that day beforehand(but not to porn though, and not with a hard grip). With oral she could me going hard again. It was ok all in all. Bot nothing extra. The second girl, well lets say she was a MILF picked me up actually. Got into it, same story, got limp through intercourse etc etc. I never had one night stands before, so I was telling myself, that I'm probably too nervous with women that I don't know. Of course in between the days I used porn heavily. So jump to february, before this covid sh*t all hit in. Pickud up another girl. With the first two girls I felt a bit shy, but this time around didn't have any problem getting naked, of course I felt nervous a bit. Same thing happened, got limp, oral got me back up, thant started pounding and out of nowhere PONR, like WTF. First I get limp than I cum too fast? I was getting frustrated. I was trying to quit porn, I could go like 3-5 days, but some stress came in my life, I immedietaly turned to it. Okay, so this week. Chatted up a hot blonde on facebook. We met, went to her place. Got naked. OMG. The other 3 girls were hot too, but this chick. On a scale of 10 she was like 12. She had a pretty similar body to Nicole Aniston, only with big natural boobs. Flawless, glowing skin, nice smell and the most beautiful pussy I have ever seen in my life. She was f..ing perfect. Reading this should get someone sort of hard right? There was this beautiful girl beside me, my mind saw how fucking hot she was, but my body didn't react. This was the case with all the girls. Just by seeing hot women like this should turn me on. But usually kissing always got me rock hard. But now, I barely felt a thing. With my ex, when we started kissing, it was like electric, felt it thhrough my whole body, got hard instantly. You know what I'm talking about, when you feel that sexual desire in your whole body, going through every cell, not just in your dick. With the blonde bombsehll. got hard, started having sex, but got limp, oral got me up again, but I didn't had those full blown hard rock erections. Started going in doggy, she was really into it, really injoying my cock, pushing heavly on my dick, she was about to cum, but me to I felt PONR hit out of nowhere, so I did the stupidest thing, pulled out, OMG she was maaad and dissapointed, couldn't get really hard after that. It sucked, I was really embarrassed at that moment. At least small good thing came out of theese expreiences. All the girls told me I'm really cute and handsome, have a nice athletic body, and a big dick. The first gorl was like: Hah, you are half erect and already bigger than most guys I've been with. The second and 3rd just commented that, well I see you are above avarage. The blonde bombshell was pretty outspoking. When I pulled my pants down she was like: woah duude, you got some DIIICK packing on you. I was like, thanks. I feel pretty avarage though, then she said, no dude, that's a big dick. Than shes going, some of us have big tits (grabs her tits and pushed them together), some have big dicks(grabs my cock starts stroking it), when I finally got hard she said OMG how big it grown. All in all, all girls enjoyed my size, until I failed them, and failed to give the sex of their lives. I've become a shadow of myself. Altough theres a lot of stress lately in my life, and of course I was nervous to be with women I'm unfimiliar with, I think this is just 10% of the problem and 90% is porn and masturbating to porn to blame. I numbed my mind and dick to the extent that a real life flash and blood women barely turns me on. It sucks. It's the third day now that I haven't wtached porn, or any pictures, but I'm already sufferring. It's like my mind and whole body is begging me, crying out to watch it, at least some pictures. I've got addicted. I'm feeling frustrated and angry. Got to the point after this that I'm afraid having sex again. But now I decided, that I'm quitting for good, for ever and hope I'll recover. I'm a bit afraid if the feeling comes back to my dick using such a hard grip at masturbation. But now no porn for ever. No masturbation for at least 2 weeks or maybe a month. I'll start doing kegels and reverse kegels, going to workout more as well. It's like when I don't watch porn or pics, I don't feel horny at all, sometimes it's like my dick is even't there. I need to reconnect with reality, I want to feel, feel normal again. No matter what happens in life, guys don't every turn to porn, or any drugs or alcohol for that matter. Well this is my story. Did any of you experience something similar?