I really hope I'm not too big for my girlfriend.

Bloodbath

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I would like to report my sex experiences, because they don't really seem the best to me and I'd like to ask questions about them.

Me and my girlfriend started having sex a year and a half ago.
We had sex like 20 times and we never had it more than 2-3 times a month due to some problems we unfortunately had and still have (school is the worst one).

The problem is, we never had a complete intercourse because she feels pain when I penetrate her, so I go really slow on her, masturbating her clitoris to make her feel at least something good when she feels pain (she also says this helps a lot).

Not only that, that pain is so much she gets an headache really fast, so I stop and feel bad too knowing I hurt her.

My question is: I have not by any means a big penis, I know it is average, so how can she feel so much pain?

I hope this happens because we don't have an active sex life at the moment and that it will get solved with time and more intercourses.

(Another thing. My girlfriend said my penis got bigger in the last 2 weeks. I only did a single session of pe. In fact now she can't take it all giving me oral sex, even though she could last time, and it seems her pain got even worse than before (unexpected girth gains too?). I had sex with her 3 days ago and she was agonizing just for trying to penetrate her, I felt really, REALLY bad for it. And my penis is still average.).

I love her to death and I can't stand hurting her, still however wanting to "combine" with her both mentally and phisically, as masturbation and oral sex feel great, but they lack the "magic spark" I think sex has.

Thank you all for your answers and the support, I'm sorry for my English mistakes, I hope you will still understand what I meant.
 

MrB8

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Do you know what is the cause of the pain, dry sex is very painful, like sandpaper to the lady, and she needs time to get warmed up, when sufficiently aroused her vagina will tent and her cervix will move up making penetration more pleasant. :)

Take your time, foreplay is very important and it starts long before you head to the bedroom to set the mood.

The more the better, about 20 minutes is a good average foreplay time before penetration.

Talk to her and make sure she is ready before you attempt penetration, also it is a good idea to know how she likes it to start. Experiment with different positions and angles, make sure you are not hitting her cervix.

Best threads about women and sex

I recommend you visit TPW's independent blog for some great tips! :)

Using a lubricant is important, but she can also check with her gynecologist if she is having a problem with natural lubrication, is she on a birth control pill? Her doctor can prescribe another type that may suit her better.
 
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7254s

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By my thinking maybe your girlfriend should visit doctor. i hope your problems will be solved and both enjoy :)
 

Eazygeezer

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Is she very sexually experienced or was she a virgin before you met?

It sounds to me like it could be vaginismus as well, maybe worthwhile trying a session where you don't penetrate her, try fingering her while giving her oral and see how she copes with a finger. Then you can try 2 fingers and maybe 3, if she can take 3 fingers she can or should be able to take your cock as well without a problem.

Maybe she isn't sufficiently relaxed, or nervous as she had pain once and is now nervous every time as a result and unconsciously clenching etc.
 

Bloodbath

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We have a lot of foreplay before trying to have sex and she gets really wet, I don't think I ever or ever will hit her cervix as I am not big and I went all inside her one and one time only.

I think the problem is the entrance, maybe it's too small for me and, entering it, it stretches, causing her pain.

She is not on a birth control pill so I use condoms, which are lubricated aswell, even more than other ones, being meant for anal sex (we don't want to risk them breaking).

The problem for her is my penis being too big (until her vagina gets used to it or forever? I really don't know). D:

Thank you guys for your answers, I really appreciated them.
 

Bloodbath

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Is she very sexually experienced or was she a virgin before you met?

It sounds to me like it could be vaginismus as well, maybe worthwhile trying a session where you don't penetrate her, try fingering her while giving her oral and see how she copes with a finger. Then you can try 2 fingers and maybe 3, if she can take 3 fingers she can or should be able to take your cock as well without a problem.

Maybe she isn't sufficiently relaxed, or nervous as she had pain once and is now nervous every time as a result and unconsciously clenching etc.

I tried doing that thing fingering a while ago, I think she had problems with 2 fingers and I stopped there.

Yes, she was a virgin before we met.
 

Sixte

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Is she a Beginner? Are you her first (sexual) partner?

I think it is both a mental and an anatomical problem (relative stenosis of the introitus), e.g. hymenal remnants. Surgical procedures exist (beware); dilatation is possible. I found (e.g.) https://www.vaginismus.com/products/dilator_set

The good news are that a dilatator is already available for free (you) , presumed you can handle it.

Edit: I see you answered the question. Let's see. In your case : small is beautiful :) you should have a "moderate" unit with reduced girth. Stop PE , at least now, you can restart PE later. Introduction should be taken very very slowly - can take 10-15 minutes or even more. Stamina should not be an issue.
 
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Phoenix7672

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Have you measured your girth?

This. Without knowing your stats it's kind of hard to give advice, especially since some guys think they are small when they are not, or think they are large when they are more or less average.

To me though, this seems like something she should bring up with her gyno if it is an ongoing problem and your girth is between 4.5-5". It could also be psychological for her as well, as she is expecting pain, so she tenses up, gets smaller/tighter, which hurts, which causes more tension, etc, etc...and you have a negative feedback loop.