I need advice, terrible sex life for my hole life, 30yo now, should I try injectable chemicals?

tspot180

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I tried many things, many supplements, sildenafil, vardenafil, tadalafil. The Ed drugs work but I can't go for a second round even with higher dosages. Supps don't work unfortunately, at least, nothing worth mentioning in this post. Coffee seems to work well for me. I've been doing cardio at least twice a week for many years, I have been stepping it up since 2020, I can run breathing through my nose (especially if I took sildenafil earlier that day) for 5 at least 5 min with no problems, I can run 9km in 15 min wich I found on the internet to be a good timing for a 9km distance. I also ocasionally do breathing exercises and also do them while doing yoga stretches. I try and manage my breathing technique when edging but I feel like it has no effect other than the amount of time I can hold a reverse kegel.
I also pump, do kegels, do reverse kegels, I can hold a reverse kegel for 30-40 sec when erect, I can hold them for longer when walking or standing flaccid.
I also gained through PE, besides gaining a good amount of muscle (2 urologists said that my deep voice and the amount of muscle that I gained are indicators of testosterone).
I had trouble peeing while standing since 17-18 yo. I have no idea how this developed, I used to drink beer, not huge amounts, just beer with friends, and we would pee outside and I would have no problem whatsoever doing this, especially after drinking beer. Now, it feels like after drinking beer I can't piss while standing to save my life. Sometimes, after drinking beer and holding off for a longer time because of having to wait to find a toilet to sit on, I have trouble peeing while sitting down as well. I went to a urologist to see what this is about, they used a very long microscope, forgot it's name, to go inside the urethra and inside the bladder (I had to do a concious kegel or a reverse kegel, forgot exactly wich it was but I had to do it in order for the scope to enter, it wouldn't enter the bladder otherwise), and they found that I do have a problem on the urethra right were it exits the bladder, they called it an obstruction.
I also had a hydrocele since early teenage years, can't remember exactly when I noticed it first, but it got really worse later in my mid 20s and I had it surgically removed in 2019.
I have also been diagnosed with grade 3 bilateral varicocele a couple of months ago.
I had a couple of relationships as a teen but they both failed because I couldn't get erect. I had a few more relationships later on in life and the same thing happened. I managed to have sex for 1-2 min a few times with prostitutes, pre ejaculation or ed symptoms are predominant when I go to prostitutes as well.
I want to use something that keeps my penis erect unvoluntarely, stuff like caverject or anything else available for me in Eastern Europe.
Any advice?
 
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Marlon LGHanger

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I tried many things, many supplements, sildenafil, vardenafil, tadalafil. The Ed drugs work but I can't go for a second round even with higher dosages. Supps don't work unfortunately, at least, nothing worth mentioning in this post.
I also pump, do kegels, do reverse kegels, I can hold a reverse kegel for 30-40 sec when erect, I can hold them for longer when walking or standing flaccid.
I also gained through PE, I gained a good amount of muscle (2 urologists said that my deep voice and the amount of muscle that I gained are indicators of testosterone).
I had trouble peeing while standing since 17-18 yo. I have no idea how this developed, I used to drink beer, not huge amounts, just beer with friends, and we would pee outside and I would have no problem whatsoever doing this, especially after drinking beer. Now, it feels like after drinking beer I can't piss while standing to save my life. Sometimes, after drinking beer and holding off for a longer time because of having to wait to find a toilet to sit on, I have trouble peeing while sitting down as well. I went to a urologist to see what this is about, they used a very long microscope, forgot it's name, to go inside the urethra and inside the bladder (I had to do a concious kegel or a reverse kegel, forgot exactly wich it was but I had to do it in order for the scope to enter, it wouldn't enter the bladder otherwise), and they found that I do have a problem on the urethra right were it exits the bladder, they called it an obstruction.
I also had a hydrocele since early teenage years, can't remember exactly when I noticed it first, but it got really worse later in my mid 20s and I had it surgically removed in 2019.
I have also been diagnosed with grade 3 bilateral varicocele a couple of months ago.
I had a couple of relationships as a teen but they both failed because I couldn't get erect. I had a few more relationships later on in life and the same thing happened. I managed to have sex for 1-2 min a few times with prostitutes, pre ejaculation or ed symptoms are predominant when I go to prostitutes as well.
I want to use something that keeps my penis erect unvoluntarely, stuff like caverject or anything else available for me in Eastern Europe.
Any advice?
Just for shits & giggles I tried Edex (Caverject). It does induce a very firm erection. However didn't feel as full as normal. From my perspective it sounds like it may be a last resort option for you. Talk to your urologists! They may be able to do a test run with a particular dosage right in their office. All that said I personally don't like needles.... especially sticking them into my penis!

There's also a similar product that can be squirted up into your urethra. Never tried it so I can't comment on the effectiveness.
Best wishes to you as you try to overcome your ED issues.
 

tspot180

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I also have some experience with dry orgasms, but unfortunately, the game where I'm from is who fucks the most times. Maybe I could master the dry orgasm technique so well that a girl couldn't tell, as much as I tried this everytime and I never did it right, maybe I will get it right sometime. My point is, for the moment, I can't imagine how I could do that. I failed to do it so many times after longer periods of edging and having dry orgasms, when I ultimately fail and ejaculate, I can't turn myself on to get erect again with anything for at least 1 hour or more. I do this with fleshlights, I've been managing longer and longer edging sets with them, but ultimately, with a partner, the refractory period is expected to be much shorter. There are many people who don't look as healthy as I do that perform like this and they put me to shame. I've been with a girl once and after I came the first time(single time, I couldn't get back erect and I was on 200mg sildenafil and 40mg tadalafil) she started to suck me off thinking I would get erect immediately back. I was saying to myself that I must be cursed, all the things that I fear the most are constantly happening every time I try to have sex with someone I'm actually attracted to.
And ever since I was kid, most of the other kids said they masturbated 5 times everyday, I must have been getting that number in 2 weeks, I would rarely do it twice or 3 times in a day, no matter how much porn I could watch. I started to masturbate more often and everyday willingly later on in my early twenties when I was in prison, in hopes of having great EQ when released, wich went horribly wrong, I was with a girl after I got released and it was the worst thing that ever happened to me to this day, it haunts me. Just imagine being with a horny girl who expects the same or maybe even 3 times more from a person who spent many years in jail and the opposite happens. This will remain a horror for me to the day I die probably. All of my sex experiences with girls who liked me and I liked them are horrors, but that was the worst.
 
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TheZZMan

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Get out of your head. Your worry about not performing is causing you to not be able to get erect. Now me, and old timer, never expect a round 2 but as a young man, you have to stop having these feelings of failure so you can enjoy the moment. Your brain is your worst enemy in the sexy department when you are not focused on your partner. Try adjusting your attitude and see what happens.
 

tspot180

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I don't understand what "get out of your head" means, come to think of it, it kind of sounds newagey. The way I understand things is that I should be more inside my head than ever, concentrating on a level that I can't imagine now because of never doing it. Whenever I do manage to have longer edging sessions, avoiding orgasm for as long and as much as possible, I do it with a lot of mind implication.
I need a better description of how to focus on the partner.
The partner performs oral sex after my first and only ejaculation, I couldn't get erect for at least another 3-5 min of constant sucking and jacking, and I was on both sildenafil/tadalafil, double dosages. I need some advice guys, there are for sure people my age who tried trimix/caverject, from how I see things, there are probably guys who have benefited from it long term and didn't have to use it again. I can't find any forums dedicated to this topic, other than threads that are on PE forums and reddit wich focus more on how to order the stuff.
Btw, now, after 2 + years of using these 2 ED drugs and edging for longer periods, pumping and jelqing for gains, I find that my erections are stronger without them, and I can l get hard easier, but the refractory period is still huge.
I also want to add something that I forgot to mention to the urologist, not that it would have mattered too much because, tipically, they don't answer any of my questions except those regarding pills and surgery, that after I ejaculate, I feel the urge to pee as well but I have a very hard time doing it even while sitting. I am unsure what causes it, but it has been like this for as long as I can remember.
 
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CUSP82

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You probably have the most warped sense of sex and what it should be that I have read in more than 15 years. Although you'll get mad and call me names your issues, and they are many, are mental. You will deny that and continue increasing ED drugs and such and with time not only will they cease to work but you will get worse. You only hope to become somewhat normal as you will never be normal is psychiatric treatment but you will deny this and my bet is 5 years from now you won't function at all and maybe you'll remember you heard it here and ignored it. Good luck anyway.
 
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tspot180

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I disagree with everything you said.
We don't get to tolerate ED drugs and need bigger dosages, urologists told me that.
I take Seroquel 50mg every night, I've been taking Seroquel for 10 years, I've been diagnosed with psy issues as a child, but you are wrong.
I used to be prescribed 800/600mg of seroquel 10-9 years ago, now I only take 25mg most nights to go to sleep. I can't sleep without it.
But you are still wrong CUSP82, and we will see in 5 years from now what's what!
 
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tspot180

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You probably have the most warped sense of sex and what it should be that I have read in more than 15 years. Although you'll get mad and call me names your issues, and they are many, are mental. You will deny that and continue increasing ED drugs and such and with time not only will they cease to work but you will get worse. You only hope to become somewhat normal as you will never be normal is psychiatric treatment but you will deny this and my bet is 5 years from now you won't function at all and maybe you'll remember you heard it here and ignored it. Good luck anyway.
The most warped sense of sex and what it should be? What have you been reading in 15 years?
You're probably just hating on my determination to get right. And my willingness to take extreme measures.
Go ask a urologist, ED drugs will work till we die. We don't get conditioned with it at all. In fact, the Internet has more than a few search results on this topic, reddit users have commented on long-term viagra use and said the same thing.
 

tspot180

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I have a suspicion that my but, hip, upper and lower leg muscles aren't strong enough to maybe direct blood into my pelvic area for as long as I wish. I named these muscles in the order I feel they are of importance to the pelvic area for blood supply as they are closer.
I hope that after I get stronger in these areas and maybe after I've developed my reflexes a bit more in a more hyperactive sort-of manner, concentrating on slow breathing through the nose and not blinking my eyes for as long as possible, I will get better.
But I don't see anything wrong in wanting to please your current partner if something chemical that many other humans have used and proved it to be relatively safe can be used, especially since everything that I mentioned above takes at least more than a few months to accomplish, if not years.
 

tspot180

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I have also been taking daily b vitamins, vitamin b6, vitamin b12, for the past 5-6 months, only noticeable effect is hunger, I get hungry more often throughout the day than I normally would. I have also been taking a bunch of other supplements I named in my other threads a few times that are all aimed at increasing EQ and perfomance, on and off for months, doing this since 2019.
What I experimented with for just a month or so was Maca, Gatuaba Bark, Butea Superba and Pygeum, I got them all from Swanson. I've been off all those for a couple of months now and I can definitely say one of those, most likely Pygeum, caused more precum and earlier orgasms with a slightly more intense feeling, possibly longer orgasms iirc.
I will order Pygeum again, maybe all those supplements actually again, but I will go with Pygeum only for a while to see if it will increase precum and orgasm sensation. I am not sure if this will be the way to go for a shorter refractory period, but I guess I should try it again.
 

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I have a suspicion that my but, hip, upper and lower leg muscles aren't strong enough to maybe direct blood into my pelvic area for as long as I wish.
If that kind of muscle strength was required for erections, young boys who haven't started working out yet wouldn't have erections.
after I ejaculate, I feel the urge to pee as well but I have a very hard time doing it even while sitting. I am unsure what causes it, but it has been like this for as long as I can remember.
That's very normal. We're built that way to prevent urine from contaminating semen.

It sure sounds like you have severe anxiety issues around your sexuality and that kind of anxiety will always manifest itself in the way you're describing.
 
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Pegasus

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You need to get a hormone panel done and post the number .
You need to deal with general and sex specific stress .
Souunds like muscle tightness in the pelvic floor etc may be a factor . First exercise to try Hindi squat .
 
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tspot180

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You need to get a hormone panel done and post the number .
You need to deal with general and sex specific stress .
Souunds like muscle tightness in the pelvic floor etc may be a factor . First exercise to try Hindi squat .
I do that, I also do box jumps, kettlebell swings/snatches/sumo squats, I can hold a chair pose or a tree pose for long now. I have also been doing PF stretches that I found on youtube., linked from pegym threads.
I have been doing this for years now, all it feels like I'm doing is improving the time I can hold a reverse kegel and the strength I get in rk reps. Regular kegels feel the same as they always felt, no improvement there except for slightly getting used to kegeling strong while orgasming to hold it off, I don't always get to hold off the orgasm.
 

Pegasus

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Tell me how you deal with general and specific stress..
 

tspot180

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I am not sure if I can answer this right, but I guess the answer is that I panic and do my best to maintain composure.
When I worked as a waiter and the place would be full of people at night and there would always be a little chaos for a few minutes in a row, I would maintain composure well, but in more stressful situations like when doing something wrong and embarrassing, I would panic a lot more.
When I was a kid, if a given conflict began that easily became a physical altercation, in those moments until the altercation would actually begin, both my legs would noticeably shiver from fear. As I grew older and already had a few years of training performed, this went away.
But going through many altercations like that as a teenager, I never got conditioned to it just from the events happening repeatedly.
I guess another answer to the question would be that I deal with it using coffee, medication and marijuana ocasionally. I don't drink alcohol anymore.
I don't know how to describe how I deal with sex specific stress. I don't. If I try and "concentrate on the partner" like they say, I look lame AF, feel lame AF and it's probably the reality. I don't know what to speak to girls in my native language during those moments so I try and not say anything at all except things that are really necesarry, like short indications or something. I'm basically a SQUARE, a SIMP, a guy who doesn't do well with people/social circumstances, especially doesn't do well with women. My face looks like Joe List, the comedian who made a recent movie with louisck. I also wear glasses. Am I saying something wrong? Is there no such thing on Earth and I'm confused? Because I feel like some of the advice given doesn't take for granted the fact that on Earth, there isn't a single type of man, aplha men, viril men, there's the opposite too. Or am I wrong here?
I suspect I am one of those opposite of alpha type of man. It has been proven to be in life many times.
Why can't I take trimix/caverject?
 
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Pegasus

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So sounds to me like some self esteem issues along with the anxiety . This is having a bad effect on you physicallyas well as mentally .
You have to find a way to deal with these underlying causes . Searching for a quick fix is not advised.
 

tspot180

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I don't think I have self esteem issues anymore. I am not happy with who I am but I can deal with it after all these years with ease.
I am just a lower class human, like chinese people are. There's that meme of a chinese guy who was smoking while driving, he answered he doesn't have sex anymore. I am that guy. No need to call it self esteem issues because it won't help with anything.
I ejaculate very fast and then need a day or two for another good erection to happen. That's why I think a quick fix would be great. I wouldn't mind using chemicals for the rest of my life, every single day.
 
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TheZZMan

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I don't understand what "get out of your head" means, come to think of it, it kind of sounds newagey. The way I understand things is that I should be more inside my head than ever, concentrating on a level that I can't imagine now because of never doing it. Whenever I do manage to have longer edging sessions, avoiding orgasm for as long and as much as possible, I do it with a lot of mind implication.
I need a better description of how to focus on the partner.
The partner performs oral sex after my first and only ejaculation, I couldn't get erect for at least another 3-5 min of constant sucking and jacking, and I was on both sildenafil/tadalafil, double dosages. I need some advice guys, there are for sure people my age who tried trimix/caverject, from how I see things, there are probably guys who have benefited from it long term and didn't have to use it again. I can't find any forums dedicated to this topic, other than threads that are on PE forums and reddit wich focus more on how to order the stuff.
Btw, now, after 2 + years of using these 2 ED drugs and edging for longer periods, pumping and jelqing for gains, I find that my erections are stronger without them, and I can l get hard easier, but the refractory period is still huge.
I also want to add something that I forgot to mention to the urologist, not that it would have mattered too much because, tipically, they don't answer any of my questions except those regarding pills and surgery, that after I ejaculate, I feel the urge to pee as well but I have a very hard time doing it even while sitting. I am unsure what causes it, but it has been like this for as long as I can remember.
Suggest you go back and re-read your own posts. You my, friend, are so far inside your head that I can not even describe. Despite all the advice given, you want to dig in harder and prove that you are not wrong in your approach, then turn around and ask for more assistance. You are in search of a magic pill or supplement that doesn't exist. ED drugs, by the way, do not give you an erection, they only set the table for you to more easily be able to perform when you do have sex. In other words, if you are not turned on, in the right mood, and in the right frame of mind, they are useless and will not help you in anyway.
 

tspot180

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You're surely joking when you tell me that they don't give you an erection. I mentioned a few times that I've been taking them for a couple of years now.
I don't see any suggestions so far, only criticism.
Get out of your mind doesn't work, anything else?
Of course I'll go see another urologist, maybe a 4th one, why not. I already spent a bunch of money just for evaluations. I will ask for aphrodisiac prescriptions, bufotenin or anything similar, I just google searched this one for the first time.
And btw, TheZZMan, papaverine, phentolamine, and prostaglandin E1, also known as alprostadil, these all give you an erection without being in the mood/turned on.
But I will also ask the urologist that maybe I should be on either one of those above, papaverine/alprostadil, or maybe even get the P Shot, wich I read about recently and it is available in my country. It's expensive, but I will pay for it if any doctor/urologist recommends me the clinic.
 
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Johnny D

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I don't see any suggestions so far, only criticism.
You've been given suggestions. The most important being to address the underlying cause of your sexual anxiety.