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Erectile Dysfunction - A Unique Situation


Registered Users (MTT)
Pretty Good !
Nov 29, 2016
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I have always been very self conscience of my size my whole life, especially when I am flaccid. My BPEL is 6" (yes exactly six, I'm not rounding) and 4.25" EG. Flaccid can be all over the board depending on the day.

So I am going to open up and share a little bit and hope I don't get judged by the moral police. So I have been with my wife a long time. I have never had an erection problem with her and we have an awesome marriage. About one year ago, we both decided to enter the lifestyle (i.e. swinging with other couples). This has been a lot of fun for both of us. These other couples are a lot of fun to hang out with (even when no sex is involved). Here is where my problem comes in.

When we are sexually active with other couples, sometimes I have erection problems. I know this is 100% mental. My problem is I'm worried I will be "big enough". When we first got started in this, I was really worried that my penis wasn't big enough. However, after getting on this site and just thinking through some things, I am now comfortable with my size (although I am doing exercises to get bigger:). I have even taken high doses of Cialis which did nothing to fix the problem. We have had about 5-6 experiences with other couples. 50% of the time, I have had no problem, and the other 50% of the time, he just wouldn't work.

So here is my question. Does anyone have any mental exercises or any kind of mental strategy to overcome this problem? We aren't going to stop swinging. We both really enjoy it. I would just like to consistently be able to perform. I was thinking about meditation and other things but I would love to hear if anyone here had a similar problem and how they solved it. I welcome your advice. However, if you want to judge me and say what I am doing is wrong or that I should stop swinging, please don't bother. My wife and I are happy with our choices and plan to continue in this world.


Senior Super Moderator, PEGym Hero
Staff member
Well Done !
Jan 1, 2010
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Jersey Shore
Never interested in swinging. However, I can see where it could involve performance anxiety. To overcome anxiety, you need to feel comfortable with your partner. In this regard, you may need to spend more time on foreplay and oral before getting involved with the happy ending. Also, keep reminding yourself that your erect size is definitely in the average range.