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Edging im fine with , what about the excitement?

Bennybravo

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Hey guys. So the last 6 months has been one hell of a rollercoaster for me. Which has led for my partner and i not able to have sex. It started with me having somewhat emotional problems leading to me not getting hard in the bedroom, to then just losing all control and ejaculating too quick. my PE was only getting worse and worse, and i wouldnt even be able to penetrate without it going off. and i then tried edging from your site. And for the first time after just one week I was able to control it enough to actually penetrate ! However the issue im finding as i go on, that edging is fine, i can last twenty minutes no problem, but as soon as i put porn on to get used to the whole scenario, i suddenly finish.

Is this a reflex that i need to train myself out of? You say not to watch anything visual when you edge, but how can i stop getting too excited ( which no amount of edging will cure ) and make sure i hold it together if im not practising to anything remotely similar?
 

Pegasus

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Avoid porn you could try fleshlight .
How are you in sex now.?
 
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Paracletus

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I was having this conversation with one of the more well known members here, he and I both agreed that porn just has adverse affects on some guys.

When you are watching porn you might not realize all the involuntary kegeling you might be doing, which can cause you to ejaculate quite quickly, and because you're being visually stimulated you can't contain the excitement. Wean yourself off from porn immediately. If you must Edge with aid, it's better for you to use written or audio erotica because it forces you to still use your imagination and that way you can also take better note of every sensation in your body.
 

Bennybravo

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Hi Pegasus, with sex currently, It seems an obvious culprit is sexual anxiety. As soon as my partner says about having sex, or starts touching me, i get nervous. Then when we go to do slmething, that nerves takes over and BAM. PE.

But I can edge for over 20 minutes fine, that isnt a problem. This is why im so confused what to do!
 

Bennybravo

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Hi @paracletus , I stopped porn a while ago. It was training me bad things and I actually lost my ability to get hard completely. I decentisised myself. I stopped masturbating completely and after a few weeks my erections started coming back. But then that's when the PE problems started happening. I lost all control. And since have been trying to fix it. I managed to have sorta sex the other day ( very stop starty tho! ) but the big progress was that I was able to penetrate and carry on. But I was relaxed as hell, laughing, not thinking about it. But obviously I cant be lile that all the time. Penetration is normally the big problem. I hit the PONR straight away.
 

Paracletus

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Hi @paracletus , I stopped porn a while ago. It was training me bad things and I actually lost my ability to get hard completely. I decentisised myself. I stopped masturbating completely and after a few weeks my erections started coming back. But then that's when the PE problems started happening. I lost all control. And since have been trying to fix it. I managed to have sorta sex the other day ( very stop starty tho! ) but the big progress was that I was able to penetrate and carry on. But I was relaxed as hell, laughing, not thinking about it. But obviously I cant be lile that all the time. Penetration is normally the big problem. I hit the PONR straight away.

That's great to hear.

The next time you masturbate and or have sex, try the start and stop method. Anytime you feel yourself getting very close to the PONR:

-stop stroking or thrusting
-level your excitement by slowing down your breathing
-inhale deeply through your nose, slowly, and lightly reverse kegel to stop yourself from involuntarily kegeling (and hold without violently pushing, or you might fart...or worse)
-During sex, you can avoid the awkwardness of breaking rhythm by taking advantage of this slow down period to kiss, fondle and etc.
-When PONR backs down, continue vigorous thrusting


It will take practice but eventually you'll be able to cum on command.