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Barbara Keesling's "How to Make Love All Night" in a nutshell (notes on MMO)

QuickTrigger

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Barbara Keesling's "How to Make Love All Night" in a nutshell (notes on MMO)

After seeing the book How to Make Love All Night by Barbara Keesling recommended on this site, I went out and picked it up from my library. I took detailed notes on the book. Below are my notes. For anyone who doesn't read the book, they'll still get all the "meat" out of it with the following summary. Most of it is comprised of exercises with intermittent comments. The book is aimed at teaching men how to become multiorgasmic, the elusive and legendary MMO. That said, I feel like it has a lot of beneficial info for us premature ejaculators. Most of this information will be nothing new to the veterans. I do feel like it does a decent job of collecting different things into one place: arousal levels, kegel exercises, breathing, deconditioning our bodies natural response to high arousal levels, etc...

Enjoy!

Note: she never explicitly mentions reverse kegels.

(All of the following is paraphrased from her book. I changed the title of the exercises to better reflect the intention of the exercises.)

Performance pressure interferes with sexual functioning.

Having an enthusiastic partner is the key factor in learning MMO, not necessarily because of their participation but because of their moral support, patience, and cooperation. Half of the exercises are done with a partner, while the other half are done solo. The exercises will be labeled accordingly.

Note for the ladies: if at any time during the following exercises the man stops moving, you most also stop moving completely and immediately!

Exercise 1: Finding the muscle
By "the muscle" she is referring to the PC. All you should know which muscle this is--it's the one that stops the flow of urine.
Exercise 2: Strengthening the Muscle
She recommends doing the following kegel routine: 20 rapid fire squeezes three times a day, everyday for 3 weeks.
Exercise 3: Further strengthening
Continuing the routine from ex 3, add 10 slow squeezes to your daily routine. 5 seconds to reach full clench; 5 seconds holding the clench; and 5 seconds releasing it for a total of a 15sec rep.

Orgasm and ejaculation are not necessarily or absolutely joined. They are two separate processes that usually occur in harmony but they can actually be separated. This is the ultimate goal of MMO.

Introducing sensate focus: 1. Keep your attention on the physical sensations themselves; 2. Keep your attention present; 3. Keep your actions "pressure free," ie do not try to achieve orgasm but don't avoid it either.

Exercise 4: Genital Caress-with a partner
One person is the active explorer, while the other is passive receiver. The goal is to enjoy touching the other person; the goal is NOT to turn the other person on. Release all tension and merely absorb the sensual experience. Touch the the man's genitals with hands or mouth without the intention of trying to turn them on. Just explore. If the man ejaculates, simply wipe it off and continue. After 20 minutes, switch roles. The man now touches the female.

(Sidenote: this sounds very familiar to some of the arousal stuff I've seen on this site.)

Exercise 5: Genital Caress-solo
When touching yourself, ALWAYS use lots of lube. Merely experience the richness of the sensations of touching yourself. Become aware of your own phenomenological experience. Familiarize yourself with your arousal. Orgasm is not the goal: self-awareness and familiarization is.

At this point in the book, she introduces the arousal scale. If you're reading this thread, you should already know all about the arousal scale. You should also know that arousal level (AL) is different than erection quality (EQ). On the AL, 9.9 is the point of no return (PONR).

Defining a few words: "peak," to reach a point on the arousal scale and to drop back down. "Plateau" to maintain a certain level of arousal.

Exercise 6: Peaking- solo
Start with a genital caress and go until you reach arousal level 4 (AL 4). Then drop back down to 2. When reaching the desired AL, stop stimulation, take a deep breath, check all the muscles in your body (abs, ass, legs) to make sure they're relaxed. Then peak a little higher, at 6 and drop back to 4. Then peak for 7 and drop to 5. Then peak to 8 and drop to 6. Feel free to go as high as you want with the peaking but do so gradually. Do not spike your ALs--do it slowly and deliberately in controlled waves.

Exercise 7: Peaking--with a partner
Partner begins by performing a genital caress on you. Once you reach 4, let your partner know, whereupon they will stop all stimulation. Once you drop down and are relaxed, start over and aim for 6. Your partner should go nice and slow, real deliberate, and stop all stimulation immediately upon your signal. Go as high as you want to go with the peaking. Ejaculate if you want. Orgasm is not the goal, just an option.

Exercise 8: Peaking with PC (kegel)--solo
Start with a genital caress. Once you hit AL 4, keep stroking, but pull one or two strong PC muscle squeezes--in our language, engage a kegel or two. Thenstop stimulation, take a deep breath, and relax your body. Now try aiming for AL 6, repeating the kegel squeeze. Try going all the way up to 9, if possible. The higher the AL--the deeper the breath will be and the harder the kegel required.

Exercise 9: Peaking with PC (kegel)--with a partner
Start with a genital caress. She can do a manual or oral caress--whichever she prefers. When you reach AL 4, take a deep breath, squeeze a kegel, and then signal to your partner to stop stimulation. Drop to AL 4. Then shoot for AL 6. Repeat this loop, going as high as you can go.

Introducing the ideal position for intercourse: Woman is on her back with a pillow under her lower back and ass, in order to raise it a bit. The man is on his knees keeping most of his weight on his knees, never shifting the center of gravity from his hips to his shoulders.

Exercise 10: Intercourse--with a partner (if you couldn't figure that out, =P )
Using the position just described, have sex after you reach AL 6 by a genital caress. Peak at 7, engage a kegel, take a deep breath (which is your partner's cue to stop ALL movement). Repeat this process up to AL 9 if ready. Orgasm is optional. Keep the exercise "pressure free," ie, there are no expectations or demands to be met. Just explore and practice.

Four Ways to Stretch a Peak into a Plateau: change in breathing, change in motion, change in focus, and kegeling.

Exercise 11: Plateauing--solo
(Breathing)Start with a genital caress. Once you reach AL 5, keep stroking, and only change your breathing by slowing it down. If you dip below AL 5, you can bring yourself back up by increasing your breathing rate, as if you were panting.
(kegeling) Then drop a couple levels and get back up to AL 6. Consciously think of your plateau. Once you reach AL 6.5, give a couple of short kegel squeezes while maintaining your previous speed of breathing and stroking. Ride the 6 for 10-15 seconds.
(Change in motion) Drop a couple levels then go back up to 7. Try to hover around 7 by slowing down or speeding up your rate of stroking. If you get to 7.5, slow your stroking down. And vice versa.
(Change in focus) Drop a couple levels, then go back up to 8. Once there, change the area of stimulation. If you've been touching the penis head a lot, switch to your shaft or balls. If you dip below 8, go back to the penis head.

Exercise 12: Plateauing--with a partner
(Breathing) Start with a genital caress. As you get to Al 4, slow your breathing down. If you drop below 3.5, start panting.
(Kegeling) Have intercourse using the position mentioned above. Then plateau at 6, using the PC squeeze to control your arousal level. Engage a kegel if you hit 6.5
(Motion) Then plateau at 7. If you reach 7.5, change the motion and angle of your hips and pelvis.
(Focus) Then plateau at 8. Once you get to 8.5, shift your mental focus to a different area: your balls, shaft, your legs that are touching, etc.

The goal is to eventually learn how to use all 4 techniques--breathing, motion, focus, and kegeling--concomitantly to learn how to plateau.

Exercise 13: MMO--the shortcut--with a partner
Start with a genital caress. Peak and drop at 4, 5, and 6. Once you reach full erection, have sex using the position prescribed earlier. Peak and drop at levels 7, 8, and 9. Then aim for 9.9, PONR. Right when you hit 9.9, engage a strong kegel hold while keeping your eyes open! At this point, you may experience your first orgasm without ejaculation.

Exercise 14: MMO--the shortcut--solo
Genital caress: peaking and dropping until you reach 9. Then go for PONR. Once you reach it, at the exact moment you reach it, slam on the PC muscle for 10 seconds while keeping your eyes open and continuing your previous rate of stroking.

For those who cannot successfully take the shortcut--which will be the vast majority of us--the next steps involve learning a little bit about the ejaculation process. Basically it boils down to this: there is an emissions phase where your body "loads the canon" and there is an expulsion phase where the body "fires the canon."

Exercise 15: Identifying Emission--with a partnerStart with a genital caress and a few peaks. Then have intercourse; get to the PONR, stop all stimulation and movement, and consciously focus on the internal experiences you are having. You should feel your balls tightening and your canon "loading" with semen. If you ejaculate, you'll also feel the firing of the canon.

Exercise 16: Identifying Emission--solo
Genital caress, peaking and dropping until AL 9. As you push your AL down, breath deeper and deeper. Reach the PONR and then consciously focus on the internal experience of emission and expulsion. Feel your body preparing to ejaculate. Understand exactly what it feels like. Breathe deeply and regularly while keeping your eyes open as you ejaculate.

Exercise 17: MMO Sprinting--with a partner
Start with genital caress and move to intercourse once your EQ is high enough. Try to reach AL 8 as fast as possible, stopping all motion and squeezing the PC at 8. Keep your eyes open and your breathing deep and regular. Then thrust again until 8.5, dropping again with a kegel and a breathing. Then peak at 9. Then go for 9.5; then 9.75; then 9.9 (PONR). Each time you peak, try adjusting the angle of entry into your partner, increasing the angle each time until your penis is almost at a 90 degree angle. Reach PONR, stop all motion, slam on the PC, breathe deeply, keep your eyes open. At this point, you should experience orgasm without ejaculation. Rest a moment, then slowly continuing your thrusting. Then thrust away until orgasm and ejaculation. let yourself go this time.

Exercise 18: MMO Sprinting--solo
Start with a genital caress: peaking and dropping at 4, 5, 6. Do not jump right into the deep end of arousal. Now, instead of building up slowly, stroke yourself fast and get to AL 8 as fast as possible. Slam on the PC brake. Then shoot for 8.5; then 9; then 9.5; and finally shoot for 9.9. At 9.9 slam on the PC for 10 seconds, breathing deeply with open eyes. You should experience orgasm without ejaculation. Rest briefly. Then stroke yourself all the way to ejaculation.

Exercise 19: Incremental Inching--partner

Start with a genital caress: peaking and dropping. Switch to intercourse when ready. Peak at level 8. Once there, slow your motion and give yourself a medium kegel squeeze. Then shoot for 8.5, repeating the medium kegel squeeze. Hit 9 and then try aiming for 9.1, 9.2, 9.3, etc all the way to 9.9. This may sounds difficult but the reality is that the difference between a 9.4 and 9.5 may only be a thrust or two. Use your PC to bring yourself back down between peaks. Try to orgasm without ejaculating. It's basically like a high level plateau with kegel squeezes peppered in there every few seconds. Those should give you a better understanding of exactly when to slam on the kegel brakes after emissions but before expulsion.

Exercise 20: Incremental Inching--solo

Peak and drop at 4, 5, and 6, breathing deeply at each peak and using the PC to ward off unwanted arousal. Use medium kegel squeezes. Peak at 8 and drop. Peak and 9, then start you incremental inching from 9.1, to 9.2, to 9.3, etc, all the way to 9.9. Once you reach 9.9, give a firm and hard kegel squeeze to hold back ejaculation. You should orgasm without ejaculation. Drop a few levels, then go all the way to ejaculation.


Welp.... that's the whole book in a nutshell--minus all the "inspirational" stories and examples, minus the mainstream writing style and futile attempts at humor. This is the meat of the book. Hope it helps.
 

Shanks

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Great notes!! This book sounds like it has a lot of useful information, I'll have to check it out
 

JamesMonroe

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Yeah... sounds like slowly getting used to a woman's vagina and increasing the intensity in all ways. This is what I recommend and live by. It's the total cure for prem ejac.
 

Minuteman

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This is one of the first books that I read on this topic when I came to this forum, and it is in many ways instrumental to my success. There fore I have been recommending it as an entry level mmo book left and right.

Also it is one of the rare book which define the way to dry orgasm using the kegel hold and continuous stroking in effect actually going over the ejaculation which is much in connection with pegym forum way of doing it and defining it.

WORD OF CAUTION FOR PEOPLE TRYING DOs: (holding kegel and continuing to stroke) REQUIRES EXTREMELY CONDITIONED MUSCLES IN ORDER TO AVOID POSSIBLE INJURIES (and to some point the posibility of chronic retrograde ejaculation problems). DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS IS YOU CAN'T HOLD AT LEAST A 30 (even bitter minute) KEGEL HOLD!

Even though you need proper timing and proper technique many people (at some point even me) make the mistake of holding on a kegel even though it is not strong enough to stop the spasms, there fore inducing retrograde ejaculation (or depending on condition level partial ejaculation), doing so continuosly IS DANGEROUS! IF YOU SEE THAT THE SPASMS ARE STILL CONTINUING LET THE HOLD GO. Ejaculation then will proceed and you will have no posibility of injury.

Also read this for more details about DOs:

All I know about DOs:

Picture for reference

http://i47.tinypic.com/2vjboue.jpg


When your pevlic floor isn't conditioned enough, your attempts at do will result in dribble partial ejaculation (when your muscles are most unconditioned), partial ejaculation and retrograde ejaculation (when your muscles are somewhat conditioned), and retrograde ejaculation (when you are well up).

Now retrograde ejaculation can be harmful for your body and in most sources you will read that dry orgasm IS actually retrograde ejaculation. You can confirm is it is a retrograde ejaculation by simply urinating just as you have had (the DO I mean) it, and you will have a somewhat sticky whitish urine at the start.

But DO actually is not a retrograde ejaculation and here is a simple reason why, the point of DO kegel hold is to stop any and every spasms that occur, so that the sperm can even get to that point where it "has the choice" of redirecting into bladder.

I remember at the beginning I was afraid that continuous DO will cause me to have chronic retrograde ejaculation problems since by many sources that is what DO was also called. But as I was getting better and better (and almost always urinating after DO attempts) I noticed that in my urine there where no sperm it wasn't even a little bit clouded (I urinated in a cup to prove this to myself), because to I do not want to do anything to bring myself hard, not even for the sake of fixing premature ejaculation, so for the some part of my journey I was very skeptical of all this.

It is best when you start to do the DO to test this out for yourself and not to really on others. If I had any medicine equipment I would go as far as to test if there is any sperm in my urine after DO. But in essence, something must pull all that sperm from down there, and if you stop the muscle that is pulling them nothing will come up, there for nothing will redirect.

In essence the ideal DO (perfect DO) is when you have a kegel hold activated in specific way (technique) and specific strength (strength) and at a specific time (timing) that it STOPS all other spasms stop after the first one, in other words you completely stop the ejaculation. You are left with orgasmic feeling. That is what anyone who is practicing DO should aim for.

Many people when they are not far in MMO think that the orgasmic feelings that you have come solely from the spasms that occur and even tough this is correct (in a way that spasms produce pleasure) you can feel orgasm without them moving at all, and just get them from friction on your glans and penis. If you noticed sometimes when you are near ponr and when your involuntary kegels are not acting up you are still feeling immense pleasure, there fore orgasmic feelings are not solely from spasms of the pelvic floor, if they where we wouldn't even have sex, we would have just do kegels all day long.
From:https://www.pegym.com/forums/premat...-havent-helped-need-your-help.html#post496160


So in conclusion we have two desired types of DO a clean DO (traditional DO) and a perfect DO, most of the time when you are traied enough you will do the clean DO, as you keep progressing and getting your techique, strenght and timing down you will noticed occurences when only just one spasm occurs and everything stops, leaving you with orgamsic sesnations but also leaving you near PONR.

So sometimes you will be able to time it just right to stop the spasm very fast, but that is a different kind of DO. It is a so called perfect DO (yeah I the name for that one up) it is when you time the kegel hold in a way it cancels other spasms out rather than just stops them, the feeling is that like you went several strokes back rather than your erection slightly dropping etc.

Regular DO (clean DO) it when you hold the kegel hold strong enough that it shuts down the spasms very fast (perfect DO just stops any spasm cold). So during the first spasm you turn it into a hold, second spasm is much weaker, and the third spasm you don't even feel that much, after that spasms stop. That is what a DO is when done right. DO like that poses no threat to your body (Perfect DO does even less) but you have to have muscles conditioned enough to be able to handle that amount of stress.

It is important to note that if you feel any disconfort during DO attemt your muscles are not conditioned enough, or your techiqie is wrong, or your timing is wrong.

For much more indepth about DOs go here https://www.pegym.com/forums/premature-ejaculation-forum/43320-minutemans-dry-orgasm-guide.html
 
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chucknorris

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Thank you minute man for the in-depth DO info, i have been do'ing wrongly for some time! : /
 
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Novajelqer

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Wow...thanks for all the Great info. I will work towards becoming a MMO.
 

TheSperminator

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After I reach my length and girth goals I'm gonna start training to become MMO. All these threads or in a "favorites threads"-map on my laptop. Thanks guys for all the great info!
 

Pegasus

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sameel

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I skimmed over the book yesterday. The author narrates the stories of guys who have mastered multiple orgasms and this makes the book interesting. It also mentions different styles of multiple orgasms and everyone has its own style of experiencing multiple orgasms. Some guys partially ejaculate with each orgasm and continue. Some guys experience multiple orgasm without ejaculation. The key is to keep yourself hard after orgasm.

After reading the book, I realized that I have been experiencing multiple orgasms in the past unknowingly. Just a couple of weeks before when I was edging, I partially ejaculated while holding my PC and experienced orgasm. Then there was no urge to ejaculate at all and I was able to pump 2 minutes more but there were some strange sensation and I finally ejaculated voluntarily. Normally I become flaccid immediately after ejaculation.

After today's edging session, I again tried this. I clenched the PC at right time (as I think) but partially ejaculated. Then the 2nd orgasm came few seconds later and I clenched the PC but again partially ejaculated. Waited few seconds, and tried again, this time I came despite clenching the PC.

Do you guys think I should try becoming multi-orgasmic? Will I be able to separate the ejaculation from orgasm with little experience.
Need your expert opinions.
 

Minuteman

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I skimmed over the book yesterday. The author narrates the stories of guys who have mastered multiple orgasms and this makes the book interesting. It also mentions different styles of multiple orgasms and everyone has its own style of experiencing multiple orgasms. Some guys partially ejaculate with each orgasm and continue. Some guys experience multiple orgasm without ejaculation. The key is to keep yourself hard after orgasm.

After reading the book, I realized that I have been experiencing multiple orgasms in the past unknowingly. Just a couple of weeks before when I was edging, I partially ejaculated while holding my PC and experienced orgasm. Then there was no urge to ejaculate at all and I was able to pump 2 minutes more but there were some strange sensation and I finally ejaculated voluntarily. Normally I become flaccid immediately after ejaculation.

After today's edging session, I again tried this. I clenched the PC at right time (as I think) but partially ejaculated. Then the 2nd orgasm came few seconds later and I clenched the PC but again partially ejaculated. Waited few seconds, and tried again, this time I came despite clenching the PC.

Do you guys think I should try becoming multi-orgasmic? Will I be able to separate the ejaculation from orgasm with little experience.
Need your expert opinions.

If you feel like it give it a shot but, again, be careful. Repeated partial ejaculations are not a good idea since you can risk an injury, you should first condition your pelvic floor, make your kegel hold stronger, having better technique and getting your timing down.
 

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Bobsadcock

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Hi all,

I've recent started reading this book and have got to the part where she recommends using kegel squeezes to lower arousal. This seems counter to the opinion around here that kegels actually bring you closer to orgasm. What are your thoughts on this?
 

Pegasus

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Using kegel to lowe arousal is harder technique wise than using reversse kegels . So for most people a rk is the way to go .