All In My Head? Harder During Masturbation Than Sex

[MG1992]

As the title says, if I jerk off I can get hard as a rock. Could not get any harder, 10/10 EQ. During sex tho, I can probably say I've never had a 10/10 EQ. More like 7-8 90% of the time, never higher.

So, ways to improve that.

- I'm thinking part of it is mental.
- less porn and masturbating which I've cut back on big time but when younger it was bad so my body is probably still recovering from that
- I know diet and overall health is huge, but those are not an issue. I eat extremely healthy, I'm a bodybuilder so my diet includes a wide variety of fruits and veggies, lots of protein, carbs from oats, rice, sweet potatoes, Ezekiel bread,and healthy fats as well in the form of fatty fish like salmon, nuts, almond butter, avocado while eggs. About a gallon and a half of water daily, training 5 days a week.

- I do take supplements such as l-arginine, lecithin, fish oil, vitamin C, superfoods greens powder, zinc.

- I do have cialis, but I use that very rarely. Trying not to completely rely on it.

So what else do you guys find has helped?

 

[Big Al]

If you can get 100% then the issue is likely not dietary. If I may ask- do you feel emotionally unencumbered during the prospect of a sexual encounter or do you concern yourself with libido-killing thoughts like worrying about performance, penis size, etc?

 

[incogneeetoe]

You are doing pretty much what i am doing. Some of the details are different, but a full regimen of diet, exercise and so on.

I think the key component your are missing is relaxation. You probably can get to full EQ when masturbating because you are relaxed and in control. You can go as slow as you want and get up to full EQ.

We tend to tense up in sex. Not necessarily stress or anxiety, but sex is physical so we naturally are more "tense" (even after years of marriage I still get that "I'm gonna get some!" excited tension).

And we tend to rush to perform. (She's naked, I'm naked, she's ready, so lets just go...)

I find that when I slow down and relax my breathing and the pelvic floor then just take my time to get up to full EQ, I get there and she is quite vocal about it.

I do yoga daily and practice methods to relax the mind and muscles, etc.

 

[MG1992]

Yes penis size absolutely a concern. And I pretty much am always thinking about. Hence why I'm on here. I'm 6.25x5.25 which I know isn't bad but I don't know. Just still bothers me. Performance isn't an issue, I'm extremely confident with what I can do in bed. I guess that's the easy answer. Just stop worrying. So hard not to

 

[MG1992]

True. I do get tense at times. Foreplay I'm very very calm, once it comes to a bj or sex is when I tense up. Again, worrying about dick size like probably a lot of people on here.

 

[Big Al]

Yes penis size absolutely a concern. And I pretty much am always thinking about. Hence why I'm on here. I'm 6.25x5.25 which I know isn't bad but I don't know. Just still bothers me. Performance isn't an issue, I'm extremely confident with what I can do in bed. I guess that's the easy answer. Just stop worrying. So hard not to

While you can effect changes with training, you have what you have at the moment of sexual contact. Worrying about it will only hurt your performance. This concern is ego-based and will need to be mastered in order to control it.

 

[wmwl2 spice]

Guess just me but sex relaxes me .I have never worried about it or performing.For one thig I always make sure has cum(oral or other) first or has en real close and held back. I only think about what she is doing and enjoying,now if she it wet washcloth type I could she that causing issue. I focus only on her pleasure unless I need to hold back.Then I stop and change it up some or stop and give her deep passionate kiss. Tell her how much I love her(wife not old fuck buddys from past days) and then start back. Now if she is going and getting close I focus on getting her there and then I couldn't hold back if gun at head.

Se never think about your cock its all about her.

Now after ED crap its hard not to think about and possibly not getting there. This is where talk before with he is very handy.lettig her know it has nothing to do with attraction or her exciting you. That's huge mind screwer gone,well for me anyway.

 

[Big Al]

Having a thoughtful partner one can trust can go a long way towards mitigating performance anxiety.

 

[MG1992]

Yeah I guess it's just a matter of not thinking about it. Now that I think back, the time lately I've been the hardest it wasn't on my mind, don't know why those few times it wasn't. But pretty much always mid-bloejob or sex I'll soften up a bit and not be quite as hard. Especially during a bj since I'm not doing any work so it gives me plenty of time to think

 

[Big Al]

Yeah I guess it's just a matter of not thinking about it. Now that I think back, the time lately I've been the hardest it wasn't on my mind, don't know why those few times it wasn't. But pretty much always mid-bloejob or sex I'll soften up a bit and not be quite as hard. Especially during a bj since I'm not doing any work so it gives me plenty of time to think

Any negative thoughts will have a negative effect on erections.