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Hi everybody!
I am male, 23 years old, and have been battling with porn induced erectile dysfunction for almost two years. I originally found nofap, which got me to the point where I am now. I have been abstaining from porn for over a year, and have been doing kegals on and off for the past year as well. My erections have returned to about 8-9/10 because of this, but now I am running into a new problem.
I have recently gotten a new girlfriend, and as we have been engaging in sexual touch, I would find that sometimes I would randomly lose my erection during foreplay. My girlfriend is very sensitive, and took this as a sign that I was not attracted to her, and had a pretty dramatic emotional response. We tried a few more times. Sometimes everything went smoothly, and we had amazing sex. Other times, I would be rock hard when we started kissing and foreplay, I would randomly lose my erection before we could transition to PIV sex. Then on other occasions I would remain completely flaccid throughout foreplay. I found that when I am flaccid, direct stimulation of the penis will cause an erection, but PIV or oral sex from that always results in premature ejaculation. I also find that when I am erect, any stopping of stimulation, kissing or foreplay (changing positions, etc) will be enough a distraction to get me flaccid again. I seem to only be able to retain an erection for about 30 seconds (only sometimes. Other times when I am really turned on and in the zone this is not a problem).
The times that everything went well and we had PIV sex have been amazing and very rewarding for both of us. On those times my mind was "turned on," and my penis was barely touched but stayed erect regardless. The times where it didn't go so well and I had the random loss of erection, my mind got turned off, and all the things that turned me on before now seemed to gross me out. This led to a cessation of all sexual touch, and really hurt and confused my partner.
As I mentioned earlier, my girlfriend is very sensitive, and the random loss of erection made her feel like I was not attracted to her. Her emotional response caused me a lot of anxiety, and I remembered that anxiety the next few times we tried to have sex. "What if I don't get erect again? What if I lose my erection again? etc." I think this made the problem even worse.
Can anyone please point me in a direction that can help me fix this problem? It is destroying my relationship.
(I have been doing kegals for a while now, never heard of reverse kegals or other kegal exercises until now. Are they worth looking into? Where do I start?)
I am male, 23 years old, and have been battling with porn induced erectile dysfunction for almost two years. I originally found nofap, which got me to the point where I am now. I have been abstaining from porn for over a year, and have been doing kegals on and off for the past year as well. My erections have returned to about 8-9/10 because of this, but now I am running into a new problem.
I have recently gotten a new girlfriend, and as we have been engaging in sexual touch, I would find that sometimes I would randomly lose my erection during foreplay. My girlfriend is very sensitive, and took this as a sign that I was not attracted to her, and had a pretty dramatic emotional response. We tried a few more times. Sometimes everything went smoothly, and we had amazing sex. Other times, I would be rock hard when we started kissing and foreplay, I would randomly lose my erection before we could transition to PIV sex. Then on other occasions I would remain completely flaccid throughout foreplay. I found that when I am flaccid, direct stimulation of the penis will cause an erection, but PIV or oral sex from that always results in premature ejaculation. I also find that when I am erect, any stopping of stimulation, kissing or foreplay (changing positions, etc) will be enough a distraction to get me flaccid again. I seem to only be able to retain an erection for about 30 seconds (only sometimes. Other times when I am really turned on and in the zone this is not a problem).
The times that everything went well and we had PIV sex have been amazing and very rewarding for both of us. On those times my mind was "turned on," and my penis was barely touched but stayed erect regardless. The times where it didn't go so well and I had the random loss of erection, my mind got turned off, and all the things that turned me on before now seemed to gross me out. This led to a cessation of all sexual touch, and really hurt and confused my partner.
As I mentioned earlier, my girlfriend is very sensitive, and the random loss of erection made her feel like I was not attracted to her. Her emotional response caused me a lot of anxiety, and I remembered that anxiety the next few times we tried to have sex. "What if I don't get erect again? What if I lose my erection again? etc." I think this made the problem even worse.
Can anyone please point me in a direction that can help me fix this problem? It is destroying my relationship.
(I have been doing kegals for a while now, never heard of reverse kegals or other kegal exercises until now. Are they worth looking into? Where do I start?)