A Laugh for the Forum

Frog

Senior Member, Member of the Month March 2017
Well Done !
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
1,584
Reaction score
128
Points
83
Location
Florida for now
What's the difference between a Wheat Thin and a Lesbian?

Ones a snack cracker

The other is a crack snacker :)
 

RickBhmcsb

PEGym HERO
Well Done !
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
1,583
Reaction score
45
Points
0
Location
South Bend, IN
Today I went to my Premature Ejaculation Support Group. Turns out it's tomorrow.

I'll see myself out now...LOL
 

incogneeetoe

Moderator, Member of the Month Sept 2017, *Specia
Staff member
Well Done !
Joined
Jun 3, 2015
Messages
4,842
Reaction score
126
Points
83
Location
South Korea
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.

[FONT=&quot]After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips." [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."




[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Q: How do you keep a Mormon from drinking all the beer at your party?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A: Invite another Mormon.



[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]What's the difference between Jews, Evangelicals, and Mormons?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Jews don't recognize Christ as Messiah.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Evangelicals don't recognize any doctrine outside of the Bible.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And Mormons don't recognize each other in the liquor store.



[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Texas version -[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Jews don't recognize Christ as the Son of God.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Protestants don't recognize the Pope as head of the church.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.


[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Tennessee Version:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Why do you always take two baptists fishing with you?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Because if you only invite one, he'll drink all your beer.


[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Manitoba version:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Jews don't recognize Jesus as the messiah,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Protestants don't recognize the popes authority,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and Mennonites don't recognize each other in the liquor store.[/FONT]
 

not2big

Senior Super Moderator, PEGym Hero
Staff member
Well Done !
Joined
Jan 1, 2010
Messages
23,579
Reaction score
897
Points
133
Location
Jersey Shore
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “what is this a joke?”
 

tank0909

Senior Member, Member of the Month Jan. 2019,
Well Done !
Joined
Apr 24, 2018
Messages
938
Reaction score
17
Points
38
My girlfriend said she likes it doggy-style... so after sex, I rubbed her face in the wet spot and shouted "NO!"
 

RickBhmcsb

PEGym HERO
Well Done !
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
1,583
Reaction score
45
Points
0
Location
South Bend, IN
The Inventor of autocorrect has died. His funnel is tomato.
 

RickBhmcsb

PEGym HERO
Well Done !
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
1,583
Reaction score
45
Points
0
Location
South Bend, IN
​Ever try eating a clock? It's very time consuming...
 

not2big

Senior Super Moderator, PEGym Hero
Staff member
Well Done !
Joined
Jan 1, 2010
Messages
23,579
Reaction score
897
Points
133
Location
Jersey Shore
My wife bought me a watch for my birthday, but it stopped working the second day. I've not told her yet. It's never the right time.
 

RickBhmcsb

PEGym HERO
Well Done !
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
1,583
Reaction score
45
Points
0
Location
South Bend, IN
So, driving down the street, I noticed a strip club and couldn't help but wonder why they have cover charges?
 

RickBhmcsb

PEGym HERO
Well Done !
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
1,583
Reaction score
45
Points
0
Location
South Bend, IN
Peter the serial Flasher was thinking about retiring, but he decided to stick it out for one more year.
 

Frog

Senior Member, Member of the Month March 2017
Well Done !
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
1,584
Reaction score
128
Points
83
Location
Florida for now
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

Cusp this is for you...
 
  • Like
Reactions: RickBhmcsb

CUSP82

Administrator PEGym
Staff member
Excellent !
Well Done !
Joined
Dec 15, 2009
Messages
36,236
Reaction score
2,046
Points
133
Location
In your face
Just when you thought covid was bad. Now that kids have gone back to school doctors have found a new strain of head lice on these kids that is resistant to treatment. Doctors are scratching their heads over what to do.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RickBhmcsb

not2big

Senior Super Moderator, PEGym Hero
Staff member
Well Done !
Joined
Jan 1, 2010
Messages
23,579
Reaction score
897
Points
133
Location
Jersey Shore
Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RickBhmcsb

CUSP82

Administrator PEGym
Staff member
Excellent !
Well Done !
Joined
Dec 15, 2009
Messages
36,236
Reaction score
2,046
Points
133
Location
In your face
Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.

And I thought mine was bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:cool:
 
  • Like
Reactions: RickBhmcsb

Jay1983

Senior Member, Member of the Month Apr 2014, Sept
Well Done !
Joined
Jan 24, 2013
Messages
19,520
Reaction score
441
Points
103
Location
MIA!
I keep my dirty hose outside of my house.

:pimpride8lr:
 
  • Like
Reactions: RickBhmcsb

RickBhmcsb

PEGym HERO
Well Done !
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
1,583
Reaction score
45
Points
0
Location
South Bend, IN
I think I started a punny trend here. LOL
 

not2big

Senior Super Moderator, PEGym Hero
Staff member
Well Done !
Joined
Jan 1, 2010
Messages
23,579
Reaction score
897
Points
133
Location
Jersey Shore
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RickBhmcsb

RickBhmcsb

PEGym HERO
Well Done !
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
1,583
Reaction score
45
Points
0
Location
South Bend, IN
Depending on the amount of PE they did, the crooks were probably easy to spot. LOL

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.