Dr. PhibbysHammer's, Phree Philanthropic Philosophy of Phallic Phacts and Phigures

PhibbysHammer

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Dr. PhibbysHammer's, Phree Philanthropic Philosophy of PHamous Phallic Phacts and Phigures is now taking queries.

Offering phree phorethought , phocusing on the pheelings and phrustrations associated with physical phaults such as phleasizus phallus , phallus disphigurus, phirmus phallus phloppy phallus, and many other phorms of phallic phailures and phantasies as well as phreaky phallic phuckups, in hopes of phacilitating phunny phixes phor pholks .



All correspondence should not be serious in nature but rather taken in fun as this is intended to be a humorous thread.
 
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PhibbysHammer

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You could get a sex change operation, but then you'd be phaced with the turmoils of pheeling phat and ugly coupled with a new bitchy attitude as most nights you'd miss your little buddy.........................you could move to an island inhabited by pygmies, but if in phact a phew of them were well hung that would certainly compound your situation..............really the best thing you could do is set your goals much higher, that way if you don't achieve them you'll simply pheel like a loser rather than worrying about never pheeling phully phitted phor phemales. In the mean time, phind a phriend with a big phallus and brag about how phabulous his is. Who knows , maybe he'll let you play with it once in a while as if it were your own.
 

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By the way. I like your new avatar. "Doctor PhibbysHammer" At your Cervix.


Mind if I borrow that line JP? (Its a Goodun!!)
 

PhibbysHammer

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So who am I and what am I.......................

I've studied hineycology phor over 30 years and I'm probably one of the most experienced hineycologist in the U.S. to date. I was awarded the Golden Tongue phour years running while speaking all over the country and voted the most cunning linguist among my peers.
While serving as the most esteemed cunning linguist, I was afforded the opportunity to debate many women on the subjects of sex, sexuality and gender gaps . I am proud to say that I licked them all and became a masterdebater. While performing as cunning linguist on one of the most renouned Asian phemale debators she was so overwhelmed by my skill that she was compelled to scream out loudly "WONG HO !!! WONG HO!!! Ohhhhhh Gawdddddddddd WONG HO!!!!!! Why she mistook me for him I will never know, but I must say she left a bad taste in my mouth. Wong Ho is their God of Sexual Bliss I think.
Needing a break I retired deep into the Mountains of Tibet where I shacked up with Khama Sutra, Princess of the little wet valley tribe, while at the same time helping her explore and perfect many sexual positions for a book she was writing. She was one of a kind. You've heard of the energizer bunny? Well she was just the opposite. She just kept coming and coming and coming...........I appologize as I digress. I will continue at a latter time.
 
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JonPop

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Reunited with his dear wife Holly.
Hee, hee, fuckin, HEE! I love the Assertiveness, in that post.
Hey rep point for the assurance that your credentials are not real.
 

PhibbysHammer

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Another Cunning Linguist I see. Thanks Al, that stuttering cat joke JP sent us the other day (which by the way is the best I've heard in years) got me on that PH..... PH....... PH ...........thingy. I just feel like breakin some ice every now and then.
 

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Phay phwat the phuck!!!

Dear Doc

Phever phinse iphe beenph doinph Pe i haph Grownph a big phallus. Phroblem is i need a Phukin Size Queen to share it wiph. Do you haph any solutions?
 

PhibbysHammer

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Yes Kingpole,

Contrary to what most believe there are actually only two kinds of pussies, Good Ol' Bigguns and Big Ol' Gooduns. Never mention size to women you date or might date as this will give them a predetermined notion and actually could scare many. You should just act normal and spring it on them at the proper time, when sex is initiated. This way they are pretty much obligated to at least try satisfying you. I believe that most women can handle an 8-9 inch unit with a little practice and a lot of lube and most would also appreciate the extra stimulation once you get it past their eyes. Size queens also need love too so don't discriminate and never turn down a piece based on their cravings of size. You also can give them a special order phuck. Let your partner tell you how much , how hard ect.......... After some time with the same partner she'll be more than easily accomodating your large unit. Phist Phucking is phun and phree but not nearly as phabulous as driving a phreightliner sized phallus down a tight phrisky vaginal phreeway .
 
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remek

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The bunny's evil twin?

The bunny's evil twin?

She was one of a kind. You've heard of the energizer bunny? Well she was just the opposite. She just kept coming and coming and coming...........

She must have been the Energizer Rabbit.
 

PhibbysHammer

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She must have been the Energizer Rabbit.

A phine little tool phor the Mrs. while I'm off phending phor phinances or just phishing phor a phew days!!

I do own one and I do recommend them.
 

PhibbysHammer

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Phelicia Phelatio, a phine, exceptionally phit dominatrix, who supported testosterone injections phor women starting at pre pubescent ages was one of my most challenging opponents. She was very vocal and shocked me with her "not very lady-like vocabulary". She used many words like Cock, Dick, Cum and all the variations of them when they weren't required for her argument and though it was kind of sexy she managed to catch me off guard a bit when she stated that I was just "a cum squirting, big dick, waste of testosterone". She managed to suck me in phor a moment and throw me off balance but I recovered nicely and made her eat all of her words. It was a very sticky situation and things got sloppy messy, It was hard for her to swallow, and my thrusting oral attack was more than she could phend off . In the end, she choked , causing her assistant to throw in 2 or 3 towels , giving me one of my greatest wins ever. I've heard since then she prefers natural injections of testosterone.
 

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Bravo! Bravo! The crowed cheers for more. Phibby you are a phucking PE genius.