Your dick is small

[arlos]

I recently heard this from a woman I'm seeing. I'm a little less than 7 inches thanks to PE. I have my theories why a woman would say this to a man. I laughed it off when she said it. I felt that it was a female version of negging a guy. What I did was ask for oral and when she couldn't take it all in I said, "Good job, you almost got it in."

Bigger questions:
Deal breaker when a woman disparages your dick?
How do you react when a woman disparages your penis?

 

[Pegasus]

I recently heard this from a woman I'm seeing. I'm a little less than 7 inches thanks to PE. I have my theories why a woman would say this to a man. I laughed it off when she said it. I felt that it was a female version of negging a guy. What I did was ask for oral and when she couldn't take it all in I said, "Good job, you almost got it in."

Bigger questions:
Deal breaker when a woman disparages your dick?
How do you react when a woman disparages your penis?

This is a standard method to try to break down your confidence . It tends to be effective . A common variant is the bigger dick ex .
Our standard advice is to examine the worth of the relationship ,,do you really want to be around a woman who is trying to break your confidence ? She may use other methods btw

 

[akaTrex]

How do you react when a woman disparages your penis?

Personally, I quote the Great Richard Pryor " What happened to your Pussy "

 

[TheZZMan]

Seems to me that you "poked" at her when you commented that she couldn't handle it all. I think that she rightfully "poked" back by calling you small. I'd brush it all off as an "in the moment" comment. Not everyone is witty and thinks through what they say. She may have meant it as a joke and it came out wrong. Just me thoughts.

 

[not2big]

As the ZZ guy said, if you made the comment first, it became a tit for tat in the heat of the moment.

 

[Dangler]

She may have taken offense from your remark about 'almost got it all in'.
A simple compliment about 'how good it felt' may have made for a better outcome.

 

[arlos]

Seems to me that you "poked" at her when you commented that she couldn't handle it all. I think that she rightfully "poked" back by calling you small. I'd brush it all off as an "in the moment" comment. Not everyone is witty and thinks through what they say. She may have meant it as a joke and it came out wrong. Just me thoughts.

My comment was later and in jest at what she had said earlier.

 

[not2big]

My comment was later and in jest at what she had said earlier.

If she said it first, then I’d seriously consider changing the relationship.

 

[Brazenkane]

If anybody's going to comment about, "can't get it all in" let it be her…always. You said it due to your own ego - reacting to what she said. Lots of women will take that comment offensively. That may seem weird, and I'll be capt. obvious here, but they are female and you're male. Women want to feel they are taking care of business (e.g. pleasing their partner) and more often than not their self-worth is connected to it. Whether you were subconsciously fishing for a compliment/looking for validation that your meat is indeed large/all the PE work is paying off/ or all the above.... I'd steer away from that sort of fishing.

If in fact she slagged you first... run!!! you do not want to be in a relationship / be entangled with this person when they commit other more injuring offenses. I would never ever accept a comment like that and mosey on with the relationship, or hang. They're done. Not because I'm sensitive about my 7+ x 7, but because I'm sensitive about having assholesin my life. I live in a "kind people" only zone. I'd recommend it, too. Feels good!

 

[TheZZMan]

My comment was later and in jest at what she had said earlier.

Well, then lets here the real story behind her comment. To me, any woman that uses the "small dick" comment is not worth the time of day. Its rude, uncalled for and belittling to say the least.

 

[arlos]

Well, then lets here the real story behind her comment. To me, any woman that uses the "small dick" comment is not worth the time of day. Its rude, uncalled for and belittling to say the least.

The real story is that we had sex for over eight hours until I couldn't get erect and then she said my pene was chiquita. Personally, I'm not troubled with my situation. We are only dating and to me she is one of the most attractive women I've met - She can tease me about my dick as long as she spends more time worshiping it. Maybe she's a size queen, maybe her partners have been packing more than average, maybe she's into humiliation play, maybe she was being sarcastic, maybe she was insecure about something, maybe she watches a lot of porn, maybe she's trying to make me feel insecure, maybe she's seeing if I get angry or act irrational, maybe she wants to sabotage any future relationship...


Looks like most people have said it's a deal breaker and that they'd cut things off promptly if a woman made disparaging penis comments. As long as it's not mean spirited or too often then I don't mind some teasing banter. Which is really the opposite mentality for me prior to PE. I would have taken innocent remarks as insults targeting my junk.


Now though, I laugh it off and then frame/context it to see if it was mean spirited, really bothers me, not a big issue, or perhaps something I'm being insecure about.

 

[Johnny D]

Just know that a comment like that, even if in the guise of playing around, is intended to do harm and says a lot about her.

 

[Diet Dr Pepper]

Get rid of her. Point blank simple.

 

[TheZZMan]

Then why post about her comment if it doesn't bother you? Just doesn't add up.

 

[arlos]

Then why post about her comment if it doesn't bother you? Just doesn't add up.

I want to know how other people react when they've heard it and if it's a deal breaker for a longer relationship.

I don't live in the U.S. different dating culture. This incidence I realized it was a miscommunication because we had sex for so long I couldn't get an erection and she was saying I was flaccid. But still I was in a less confident mood and took it as a slight.

Before PE I would have definitely run with this insecurity and get caught up in my head totally cutting things off. I would have been super bitter.

I'm interested in healthy responses to when a woman makes a comment that we take as a slight. Total honesty, I still get insecure. I've learned through PE a lot of this is in my head.

 

[TheZZMan]

It's simple - if she comments about your dick in any way that is not positive, its not OK. Tell her she is fat and see how that goes over. Disparaging comments towards either party are not productive. Period.

 

[arlos]

It's simple - if she comments about your dick in any way that is not positive, its not OK. Tell her she is fat and see how that goes over. Disparaging comments towards either party are not productive. Period.

So if the hottest girl you've met is rocking your world for eight hours straight makes a comment that you take as disparaging then you gonna call her fat?

 

[TheZZMan]

So if the hottest girl you've met is rocking your world for eight hours straight makes a comment that you take as disparaging then you gonna call her fat?

If she is calling you little dick, then yes. Don't care how hot she is, knocking your dick is not welcomed. Find someone who likes you in addition to your dick.

 

[Johnny D]

^ 100%

You'd allow yourself to be denigrated just because she's hot?! You're ok being with someone capable of saying that just because she's hot?! Think about that. What's really in it for you?

 

[arlos]

This is definitely a touchy subject. I find it interesting that most people didn't touch the two questions I had and instead have focused on telling me to stop having sex with this one woman. A perceived slight like this doesn't trigger a knee jerk reaction from me like it did before. If someone I was dating did something I truly didn't like and I clearly communicated that the behavior had to stop and she kept doing it then I'd stop dating her. In this situation the language we communicate with isn't my native language and sometimes I get things wrong. In hindsight she was saying my penis is soft when I had lost an erection because we were having a lot of sex. And if she had said my dick was small then that's not necessarily a deal breaker for me. The equation for me is more than the words, it's intent, and other things.

For me, PE, more than anything has helped improve my self confidence. I'm not saying I'm bulletproof but I'm much less reactive to perceived insults.

What I would like to know is how members react when they hear something they don't like about their penis. And how much of a deal breaker. I think having a healthy way to react to either perceived or actual slights is important.