Best and Worst First Date ideas...

Jukeboxhero

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Hello Everyone,


I'm back and I'm still single. But it seems that I'm actually starting to have some success on a dating app that I recently signed up for (Bumble, of all the apps).


For those who want the TLDR version, I'll cut straight to the point..


I'm trying to come up with creative "first date ideas" and there seem to be lots of different opinions on what makes a good first date. I want to come up with some fun, memorable, and of course avoid anything the cliche dates like "dinner and movie", but more importantly, I don't want to anything that would make a date feel uncomfortable, awkward or unsafe.

In this case, I asked a girl if she wanted to go Kayaking. She agreed, but I'm beginning to rethink my idea for a reasons.

(ie. I recently saw a woman on a Hiking FB page talk about going on a hike as first date, and a lot of people cautioned her that it might not be a wise idea to go hiking with a stranger).


Now, for more for interesting detailed version.
I finally decided to stop overthinking stuff and got off my ass and signed for a non-Tinder dating app. (fwiw, I signed up for Tinder and managed to get one date last Feb, but she really wasn't my type, and things really died down on the app after that).
So, I signed up for Bumble.
For those unfamiliar with Bumble, its' a "Swiping" App thats' unique in the fact tat it actually requires the women to make the first move and message the guy once you have mutually match.
I had some decent, NEW pics I took in Egypt of me doing fun stuff like riding a camel, hanging out on a white sand isle with beautiful blue ocean in the BG, and some of older pics of me doing "active stuff".
Before I even had time to fill out my profile, I noticed I had a few "likes". I filled out a few quick "conversation prompt" topics that Bumble conveniently provides and by the end of day I had 18 "Likes".
The following day, I used enough of my limited swipes to match with 14 of my 18 likes.
Of my 14 message, I had 7 of them message me (6 immediately, and one right before the time expired). 50% message rate? I was genuinely shocked since women have a reputation of never wanting to message first and/or don't message most of their matches.
6 of them started with openers like "Hey/Hi", "How are you?" and/or "Good morning". Fair enough, I'm not complaining! the best part is, I'm still having ongoing conversations with all of them.


One of the actually came up with something more creative and asked what was the most recent live event I attended. We started talking about various outdoor activities we enjoyed and she mentioned she really like Golfing, biking, hiking and she had recently started kayaking with her friends and was considering buying a kayak.
I decided this would be a great opportunity to ask her on a date so I responded.


I know a great place we could Kayaking this Friday evening if you want to come along (and I have a kayak you could borrow}. Will probably grab a bite to eat afterwards as well.
She responded "I can’t this week. I have Pelotonia opening ceremony and then ride first thing Saturday. I could maybe meet up Sunday though"
I suggested 6pm on Sunday evening and she said she would have to drop her son off somewhere at 6pm, but countered with 6:30pm.
We both agreed and I said I would get back to her with details on the location. She said "Sounds Good, I'm headed to bed, Goodnight!"


So, I'm really glad she actually worked with me on coming up with an ideal date time (instead of dismissing the idea and saying she was too busy), but I'm almost wondering if kayaking is a good first date idea? Is it too much? She didn't seem opposed to it, but I also wonder if she may be just going along with it since I suggested it, but it isn't her favorite idea for a first date.


Some of the conflicting advice I've heard before regarding first dates are things like "You should go somewhere in the afternoon for a quick coffee/lunch at a cafe", "you should do something unique and fun", "You should avoid afternoon dates and do something in the evening"


Anyways, I would like to hear your thoughts. I was considering doing something a little more clean, dry and comfortable on land, but I'm not sure if it would look bad to change my original idea/plan for the date.
 
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Ashealth

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I went to a piano bar on one of my first dates and it was really fun! I also got a hotel room on the same first date, however, we already knew each other previously and I even asked for separate beds lol. I wouldn't recommend the hotel part if you don't know them that well lol. Depending on where you live there's probably a good amount of things to do that you haven't done before. I helped my sister plan a date once, and she ended up going to a springs and walking around there. There's also always bowling lol
 

Pegasus

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If it was someone I did no know well aready then coffee was a good idea so (a) I could bail easy and (b) she did not drain my wallet (women did that back in the day ).

If she is worth the trouble you can plan away .
 

Jukeboxhero

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If it was someone I did no know well aready then coffee was a good idea so (a) I could bail easy and (b) she did not drain my wallet (women did that back in the day ).

If she is worth the trouble you can plan away .

Right, so with strangers off the internet, something like coffee or a cheap cafe lunch date would be ideal?

That makes sense, and it's something that someone else suggested on another forum.
I think I might switch it up from my initial Kayak date for a few reasons..
[FONT=&quot]-Safety around the water and the extra effort it takes to load/unload a kayak and inflate my inflatable stand-up paddleboard. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Additionally, I only own ONE life-vest (so, obviously, I would the one not wearing one), my kayak is a bit old and beat-up (but still works), and I would need to go over to my parent's house and clean out all the cobwebs inside as I haven't used it in awhile. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I guess my only concern is.. am I going to look indecisive or less confident if I switch up date plans? The date is happening Sunday, so I have time to come up with a better idea. [/FONT]
 

tara123

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Horror film - Science says it’s probably your best shot at getting a second date. Thanks to the way that our bodies and mind process physiological and neural responses and emotion, movies that evoke a strong response in viewers are great for creating strong emotional experiences, even if they’re seemingly unrelated to the film itself.

Though humans are capable of feeling and processing a great many complex emotions on a cognitive level, the physiological responses our bodies experience in relation to strong emotions are actually quite similar, so the feeling of fear can easily overlap or be confused feeling attracted to someone or even falling in love.

The above is quoted from a website but ive read similar many times. A roller coaster at theme park would probably be good.

I wouldnt change an agreed date unless absolutely necessary.
 
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Liam Strong

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Maaaateeee....

Cooking together is the sh*t!
My personal secret move is actually a workout session, i usually teach some self defense or boxing. If you try to teach her how to get out of getting choked, you can already tell whether she likes getting choked. But that is more for a second or third date. But it depends on how close you can get during the workout.

Swimming is also great if you are fit.

The more you can do said thing as an activity together, the better. Regular restaurant dates are only good if the guy is a really good entertainer. Fk Dat.
 

TTBB

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Comedy club or stand up.. Even when the comedy is bad it gives you something to talk about or joke about. It helps you see if you share a sense or humor or what the other person finds funny. It takes pressure off you(and her) to be entertaining, its not a high pressure situation and then go for a drink afterwards or coffee if you feel you want to get to know her more and to talk.
 

Pegasus

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Comedy club or stand up.. Even when the comedy is bad it gives you something to talk about or joke about. It helps you see if you share a sense or humor or what the other person finds funny. It takes pressure off you(and her) to be entertaining, its not a high pressure situation and then go for a drink afterwards or coffee if you feel you want to get to know her more and to talk.

Good to see your input again TTBB.
 

tank0909

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I was surprised she agreed to go kayaking, and during the evening, for a first date with someone she doesn't know. Maybe she's just confident. Maybe she's too trusting. Maybe she's too careless. But overall, it's a mutual interest so everything may be just fine. I agree with Tara that I wouldn't change the date, but if you're worried about it... talk to her. You've gotten some good suggestions here. A couple things to think of:

1. Safety. Yours and hers. This is someone you haven't met before. Going out in the middle of nowhere with a complete stranger... A more public setting is usually the norm.
2. Easy exit. What if you see lots of red flags or you guys just don't hit it off? And now you're a mile paddle from your put-in.
3. Physical activity can be a good way to get the juices flowing between you two. And kayaking into the sunset could be a great way to start building intimacy.
4. Maybe plan for a place to stop at for a little picnic/snack/rest off of the water so you guys can just sit and talk. (if you haven't thought of that already)

Just talk to her about it, if you're having 2nd thoughts. Personally, I don't think it's a bad idea and it's not the typical thing to do for a first date. That could be a good thing. Maybe ask her if she's still good with the idea vs a more public setting for a first date. "Hey, I'm looking forward to hanging out with you. I just want to make sure you are still good with kayaking. I understand you don't know me at all and I just want to make sure you feel safe." Or something like that.

Also... I just noticed this was over a month old... haha. How did it go?
 
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CUSP82

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Well I guess many of us don't have any good or bad dating ideas. Mine were all boring.
 

tank0909

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Boring is good for a first date. Sets low expectations from the start. :biggrin1:
 
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Cavel

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Boring is good for a first date. Sets low expectations from the start. :biggrin1:

It may work out actually. To be honest, all of my dates were rather good. However, I prefer to stay single for now. I enjoy my freedom and want to have some fun. I tried online dating and I have to admit it's really a good way to meet new girls. If you look for casual hookups, just check out this website< spam >
 
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RickBhmcsb

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Most of my dates ended up in disaster so I may not be the best person for advice on this subject. LOL Personally I would hold off on outdoor activities until both of you have gotten to know each other a bit. Meeting at some restaurant with a fun atmosphere to it would be more ideal. Just avoid places with loud music and TVs blaring. You shouldn't be yelling at the top of your lungs in speaking to each other.
 
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