Edging For Premature Ejaculation

ammonite

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Jul 26, 2013
Messages
412
Reaction score
46
Points
0
Plateau Edging

Introduction:

The aim of this thread is to provide a guide as to how you can use edging most effectively to combat premature ejaculation, and as such plateau edging differs slightly from other more well known forms of edging. For the newest of you here, edging is simply masturbation, but with a goal other than simply orgasm and ejaculation.

If the edging style in this guide works for you, not only will you gain much more control over when you ejaculate, but more importantly, your sex life will be transformed, not only in duration but also in sensation. You will be able to experience pleasure that you probably didn’t even know existed and you will begin to look forward to and enjoy sex again.

However, edging is only one (large) part of the equation and works best in conjunction with other techniques such as a reverse kegel (RK) weighted routine, arousal control and pelvic floor relaxation through yoga and deep squats. Plenty of information is available onsite.

The main part of this article is in the section “The five steps of edging”, so if you’re not interested in the theory feel free to scroll straight down to that part, but I would recommend you read the whole thread to give you a better understanding and the best results from your edging.

The Causes of Premature Ejaculation:

Premature ejaculation is a result of both both physical and psychological factors. (There may also be a chemcial element as well but this is much less understood). It is uncommon for a premature ejaculator to have a solely physical or psychological problem, as it is usually a combination of both.

Physical- Involuntary tensing of your pelvic floor muscles drastically increases the pleasure you feel during stimulation, thus causing you to orgasm much quicker. This is often the result of rushed masturbation during your teen years. This is called an involuntary kegel (IK) due to its likeness to the kegel exercise. It can also be a build up of tension in the muscle, rather than spasms.

Psychological- This is about your inability to control pleasure. As soon as things start feeling good you know your orgasm will start shortly. This is because there is a deep rooted connection in your brain and nervous system that pleasure = orgasm. In essence, you are too focused on orgasm, both consciously and subconsciously.

Consciously, you may find yourself thinking about orgasm - "Crap, I'm going to cum soon" or "I'd like to cum all over that hot ass" are examples of how you could be doing this. The subconscious element is that as a result of many years of quick ejaculations, your brain is used to getting a quick dose of pleasure (dopamine) from stimulation and as such tries to make you orgasm more quickly. Because your brain is so focused on this intense dopamine rush, it does not know how to experience pleasure other than orgasm. When being stimulated, you find yourself going straight from no pleasure to orgasmic pleasure, with no moderate inbetween levels.

Therefore, to overcome premature ejaculation, the above two problems need to be fixed. You need to be able to receive stimulation while maintaining a relaxed pelvic floor and you need to resist the urge to reach orgasm quickly and therefore discover the in between pleasure levels which still feel amazingly good, but let you remain in control. This sort of pleasure is known as the plateau phase in the scientific world, and is something which premature ejaculators completely miss out on.

Plateau Edging:

Premature ejaculation is really quite a simple problem- you reach the point of no return (PONR) too quickly and therefore ejaculate too quickly. So, in order to beat premature ejaculation, all you need to do is stay away from the PONR. That is essentially plateau edging- staying away from the PONR. This differs from the better known start/stop edging, where the goal is just to stop when you reach the PONR and then take a short break and start again. The reason why start/stop can be ineffective is because it doesn’t teach you to prolong the time before PONR, and therefore doesn’t help you solve your problem. By staying away from the PONR, you teach your body to resist going straight for the dopamine rush of orgasm, and over time you can rewire this response completely. Start/stop edging is useful for developing control closer to the PONR and/or for dry orgasm (DO) training, but both of these are very advanced skills. It can also be used by complete beginners to help them gain a basic understanding of edging and their responses to stimulation.

However, there is a problem with staying away from the PONR too- you don’t feel much pleasure. You could stroke away slowly for ages with a blank mind, not feeling any pleasure and never reaching the PONR, but this won’t help you either because you won’t learn to control the pleasure you get from sexual stimulation and so will be overwhelmed by actual sex.

Proper plateau edging is about staying away from the PONR and still feeling pleasure. This is a hard concept from premature ejaculators to understand because for them the only pleasure they get is at orgasm. However, this is because they are too focused on orgasm (dopamine rush) and so compare all other pleasure to orgasm, and of course it does not feel as strong and powerful. Yet the plateau phase can feel just as good as orgasm, but whereas orgasm is strong, quick and overwhelming, plateau is gentle, long lasting and sensual. To start getting into the plateau phase, you need to forget about orgasm, and try and focus on feeling pleasure while still a long way from the PONR. Don’t think about ejaculation, just relax and try and enjoy yourself.

Plateau edging is essentially finding the highest pleasure you can experience while still remaining in control. The idea is that, by practicing at this maximum level, your body will start getting used to it, and consequently you will be able to gradually build this level higher and higher. The word "gradual" is the key here; each session should be a gradual build up to your maximum level, and overtime you should gradually build up this maximum level. You won't retrain your response by rushing, since rushing is likely what messed your response up in the first place. Eventually, this maximum level will become high enough so that it is extremely pleasurable, yet you still remain in control. This is the elusive plateau phase.

At first, your maximum pleasure won’t really feel that great because you have very little control. However, don’t be tempted to get close to orgasm because you won’t be able to access plateau in this way. Just relax, and maybe even try and trick yourself into believing its feeling good; remember part of the problem is you compare all pleasure to the intense sensations of orgasm. Just think to yourself “this feels nice”, “I’m enjoying this”, and who knows, maybe you actually will start to enjoy it. Aim for a nice gentle background pleasure, and then build this up gradually over many edging sessions, rather than jumping straight in at almost orgasmic pleasure.

The scientific theory behind plateau edging.


Quick Summary:

A more detailed guide follows in the "five steps of edging section", but to make things clearer I will post a quick summary of the ideas here.

As mentioned earlier, there are two sides of premature ejaculation, physical and psychological. Both need to be tackled. The physical side should be dealt with first, I won't go into detail since the information is all onsite, but essentially you need to do reverse kegels and other relaxation techniques. You can also deal with the physical side through edging. The best way is via the competing response method, whereby you use reverse kegel holds during edging to counter IK. I found the best way to stay relaxed was to hold a gentle RK for the duration of edging and being aware of any IK. See https://www.pegym.com/forums/premature-ejaculation-forum/11391-solution-premature-ejaculation.html for more information.

Dealing with the psychological side is much more difficult and to a certain extent you must find your own way to deal with it. However, the fundamental idea is to learn to shift your subconscious focus away from orgasm and towards immersing yourself in controllable pleasure. It can be a good idea to follow an arousal control program, as these aim to teach you to focus on what's in front of you, rather than thinking about ejaculation. See https://www.pegym.com/forums/premat...de-controlling-your-ejaculation-response.html for more information.

The Five Steps of Edging:

Though your edging should always be gradually progressing to higher pleasure levels while still remaining in control, the general progression can be thought of as five separate stages.

1. Eliminating Involuntary Kegels (IK). While doing this, don't worry yourself about the plateau phase or feeling pleasure, the goal is simply to maintain a relaxed pelvic floor to give you a good foundation for the later stages. You need to become aware of IKs, so pay attention for any spasms. You can try placing a hand on your pelvic floor area and feeling for any movement. You may even find yourself holding a single long involuntary kegel for the duration. As mentioned earlier, the way to counter these is to use reverse kegels when you notice a spasm, or hold a light RK for the duration of edging. Also, have an out of sex RK routine. While in this stage, most of your edging should be done with a blank mind and a slow stroke rate, so you can focus on getting rid of those IK.

2. Arousal Control and IK. This stage is largely similar to the first stage, in that the primary goal is to eliminate IK. However, this stage involves the use of some imagination, in order to start getting some pleasure from your sessions. Don't go too overboard with the imagination though; you want to stay at fairly low arousal so you can control those IK. The idea is to learn to focus on staying calm with extra stimulation, and also learning to be aware of IK while being distracted. Imagination should be added in little by little, and you should simply return to a blank mind (no/little sexual thoughts) if you start reaching the PONR.

3. Aim for Plateau. Once you feel that you're getting the IK under control, you can move onto this, the most difficult stage. This is the hardest because here you need to focus on pleasure. After all, we don't want to stop feeling pleasure, we want to be able to control the pleasure. The problem is, pleasure for a premature ejaculator usually means orgasm and ejaculation. To start aiming for the plateau phase, you need to focus on any good feelings you get during edging. Think to yourself "this actually feels good". Realising that pleasure and orgasm are two separate things is the key to getting into plateau. However, don't let yourself think about orgasm or ejaculation, completely ignore them. You will probably need to add in more imagination and stimulation as you go along. At first, you will often become too aroused too quickly, and your IK will start acting up and you will get close to orgasm. Don't worry if this happens, just stop and try again. Remember to try and build arousal very slowly. It will take a long time to complete this stage because you are so used to associating pleasure with orgasm. This stage aims to associate pleasure with control. Unfortunately, there is only so much guidance I can give you here, as everyone must find their own unique way to access plateau. Chances are, you'll probably discover it by accident as you gain experience. Plateau should feel very good, but still controllable - a hard concept for premature ejaculators to understand.

4. Progress in Plateau. Once you get to plateau, it's easy sailing. All you've got to do now is practice getting there more often, so that it becomes second nature. Then, use the edging progression tips to help you practice staying in plateau under different circumstances. Most importantly, enjoy the sensations and make getting into plateau your body's new habit.

5. Wave Orgasms, Full Body Orgasms, DO and MMO. Once you've mastered plateau, you don't have to stop there. The way is open to progress to any number of new ideas. I won't write about them here, but there is plenty of information onsite. As a side note, some guys go for DO and MMO first, and then use their experience and observations from that to access plateau.

Your first edging session:


This is how you should edge while in the first stage, once you begin to progress it should be pretty obvious how to move onto the next stage, but I thought I should describe the first stage in detail so that you get the idea.

Before starting edging, try to be relaxed and have preferably at least half an hour of free time. Remember, you are trying to prolong the time before orgasm, so try and stay away from it, but if you do reach orgasm too quickly, try and stop before it's too late. To find a benchmark for where you should start, you need to try and edge in a way that it will be easiest to stay in control. This means:


  • Get in a position you find the easiest.
  • Use a grip which is easy for you.
  • Have a slow stroke rate.
  • Use as little imagination as possible (enough to keep an erection)

Begin to edge. If you find yourself getting too aroused, feel free to stop. Pay attention to any involuntary kegels, as these can indicate you are too aroused. Try and stop IK by using reverse kegels. You can either apply one when you notice an IK, or hold a single, gentle RK for the duration of the session.

It is better to stop earlier rather than later, remember you are trying to rewire your brain to not want the intense pleasure of orgasm too early. Now hopefully, unless you have a very bad case, if you make it as easy as possible for yourself you should be able to edge for around 20 minutes without losing control in the manner described above. The aim here is simply to last 20 minutes without stopping, and to experience minimal involuntary kegels. Of course, this is very different to sex, and if you edge in this way forever it’s not really going to help. To transfer improvements over to the real deal, you need to make your edging more intense, but only when you are ready. A good first progression would be to add in more imagination.

Edging Progression:

During each of the five steps, you should start experimenting with some of the following progressions as you start gaining more control. This should help you stay in control under all circumstances, and make sure you a properly ready for the next stage:


  • Increase stroke speed,
  • Let your imagination run wild,
  • Try a different position,
  • Increase total edging duration,
  • Experiment with different grips,
  • Try thrusting,
  • Get a stamina training unit,
  • Focus on more sensitive parts of the penis.
  • Add other stimuli (Erotica or pictures. The use of pornography is generally considered detrimental)

Those were just a few examples, you are largely unlimited in what you do, but if you find something makes you too aroused, you are not ready to try it yet. You must start from the bottom with edging, and think of yourself as climbing a ladder. If you climb too fast, you'll fall off and do yourself more harm than good. Remember, try and edge at a level which you can just about control, and gradually add more challenges in.

The plateau phase explained:

This can be quite a difficult concept for premature ejaculators to understand, because many may not have experienced it before, or if they did will not have noticed it properly. This image from http://www.medscape.org/viewarticle/481427_15 explains it well (I haven't looked around the site since you need to be a member and it goes onto SSRI's etc, but still, this image is helpful):

pre e explained.jpg


The yellow line is premature ejaculation, the white is your typical guy, and I believe pink is MMO. The initial increase is the excitement phase, the flat line the plateau phase and the final spikes are orgasm(s). You can see the problem is too fast arousal and little/no plateau phase. I personally believe that many premature ejaculators have no plateau phase at all, which is what makes it so hard to access because it is an entirely new experience. So, to help fix your premature ejaculation you need first to get into the plateau phase, and then to extend it. Getting there in the first place can be the hardest part. The plateau phase should feel good but controllable. If it doesn't feel that good, you are probably still in the excitement phase, and if it's hard to control, you're likely to close to the orgasm phase. It is better to be on the excitement side rather than the orgasm side.

It may take many edging sessions before you actually manage to access the plateau phase. The best way to get there is increase your arousal as gradually as possible, as shown in the edging progression tips. You must also fix any physical unbalance/tension and alter your psyche away from being focused on orgasm. Don't get frustrated if it isn’t easy to access, as you must remember you’ve probably spent years skipping it out completely so it’s going to take a while to recondition your brain. Once you get there, you can improve your control over it simply by edging in there and keeping your arousal in check. If you have not experienced plateau phase properly, it is definitely worth trying to get there because it just feels good, natural and controllable.

What I think really lead me to find my plateau was a stroking pace I was really comfortable with and eliminating (or at least minimizing) IK's! You could stroke it with a slow pace, but if you're involuntarily kegeling, then it's not going to make much of a difference.
To eliminate my IK's I surprisingly didn't have any kind of Reverse Kegel routine, but I every time I would IK I would consciously make the effort to RK. Sometimes I would hold a light RK for my whole edging session.

I still get IK's myself, but they're not nearly as strong and much less frequent now, and they only really start coming towards the end of my sessions, which is significant progress.

To sum it up:
-Eliminate IK's
-Use a comfortable stroking pace
-Positive reinforcement to yourself

The last one I didn't mention yet, but I think it is crucial. Try to eliminate all negative thinking (''I will never beat this...'' , ''I will just cum too fast again'') and all that bullshit. When you catch yourself having those thoughts, replace it with something positive; don't even think about cumming.

I think I found my lost plateau,

How did I find it? Well, I tried to link myself while having sex (with my imagination) with my full erection phase, my heart rate increased, my breathing went faster, it felt close to a massage, my penis was getting stimulated and I was focusing on the sensation like when your penis just raises without letting my arousal go up.

Its difficult to describe the plateau phase... why? Because it is the moment when you realise that you can get stimulation while controlling it... Yes, it feels good, people moan/breathe for a reason, im pretty sure everyone, even people with PE have felt it while masturbating, its feels like the moment before you think "im going to finish" but prolonged, as simple as that, I think this is the reason why people cannot describe it, because you can actually compare it with the orgasm phase.

I could be wrong, but I think this is how my plateau phase feels.

Edging tips:

Don't directly aim to get into the plateau phase. Sex for people with pre e is always goal orientated. At first, it comes from aiming for quick orgasm during masturbation when they were younger, which started the problem in the first place. Then, when they realise they have a problem, the goal becomes lasting longer. This is the wrong attitude. You need to relax and just enjoy it. It's about changing your mindset, which isn't easy. Realise sex isn't a performance, it's just for your enjoyment and you'll soon be cured.

Relaxation is key, both mental and physical. The mental side can largely be fixed by edging for long periods of time and getting used to the sensations and a proper response, but the physical side may require more effort. You should have a routine to deal with this, but it is important not to involuntary kegel during edging. One way to avoid this is by holding a light reverse kegel to counter the involuntary kegels.

The frenulum and glans can be very sensitive, best to stay away from them at first.

It can be useful to set some edging sessions aside where you will not ejaculate at the end. This improves both discipline, and helps you teach the body that orgasm is not everything.

Don't be afraid to take rests. Accepting that progress may be slow and challenging is half of the battle. Premature ejaculators tend to be impatient and lack discipline. Curing premature ejaculation can end up being a lifestyle change.

Having a positive mindset is very important. You need to be thinking to yourself "I'm improving, I'm in control". It sounds silly but it seems to have a placebo effect - if you think its working it will work. Confidence also improves stamina greatly as well.

Enjoy your edging. It should feel good, and you need to learn to associate sexual pleasure with happy feelings, rather than the disappointment of it being over too quickly.

NEVER rush edging sessions. Similar to how you gradually build your arousal from session to session, each individual session must also be a gradual increase of arousal, so that your body learns to go excitement ---> plateau ---> orgasm (when you choose). Rushing simply reinforces the habit of skipping out plateau.

Keep a log. This can be a thread on site or a private notebook. In this you will note down observations from your sessions and also any general observations you make, these will help you understand your situation better and also provide inspiration for others and confidence for yourself later on when you look back on earlier posts you have made.
 
Last edited:

kirkoloft

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Oct 20, 2013
Messages
869
Reaction score
47
Points
0
Location
Persia
Wow ammonite, this is an amazing post. Just like to add a few things:

It is paramount to get 100% erect as well. The body will only feel pleasurable sensations while fully erect. It is significantly easy to last longer with a partial erection which still can easily penetrate and engage in intercourse; this should not be mistaken for stamina. This is in no way desirable and the goal also should be to stay as hard as you can for as long as you can. This of course, as you mentioned is achieved by keeping a low level pleasure plateau.

Also what I have come to notice through my experience is that holding a reverse kegel can also lead to a precipitated orgasm. Keeping the Pelvic floor muscles balanced and relaxed is a much more effective way to maintain a plateau.

The last thing I would like to add is awareness. It doesn't really matter if you are using fantasies or having sex. You should always be aware of the sensations going on in your unit. In fact make it a habit to do this at all times during stimulation. People with Pre-e are not aware of their problem, but so are people without it. Consciousness is power here because it will help you develop the skill to cum at will.
 

ThrowAway99

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Dec 2, 2012
Messages
103
Reaction score
5
Points
0
Good writeup ammonite. I just reincorporated edging into my routine.

I sort of MMO. I have partial ejaculations that let out a little semen and noticeably drop my arousal - sort of like when people cum once before going a second time and lasting longer, though I'm only dropping my arousal like 10-20% at a time. It works for me where I hit the first PONR within like 15 seconds, drop it by ~20% or something, then am able to go for exponentially longer each time. After I hold in my ejaculation for like the 3rd or 4th time I'm reasonably set to keep going / just get bored (haven't had sex with a partner after discovering this).

It is extremely hard for me to edge without hitting this first PONR however. Do you think with the sort of training that you're talking about, that my top priority -should- be to try to prelong this first ejaculation as much as possible, and that the other edging that I'm doing isn't as helpful?
 

bigbookofpenis

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Feb 8, 2012
Messages
299
Reaction score
17
Points
0
interesting paradigm change....

i agree with your idea traditional stop-start may only get you to an from PONR without really extending the time to get there - the plateau phase which should be your longest phase but is extremely shortened in PE suferers - it may be intact by the stop-start edging...

in fact plateau phase is mostly useless or even hindering when you masturbate to PORN... thats why brain may learn to skip it...

thanks for this i will keep it in mind
 

Pegasus

Administrator, PE Gym Editor, PEGym Hero; ,
Staff member
Excellent !
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
43,416
Reaction score
969
Points
133
What a great thread .
I have to come to realise my mmo background has a downside when advising guys on pre e edging.
This is a great addition to the body of work on the forum.
On a minor point, up to this time I would regard the forms you mention as variants of stop/start . Would you like to name these forms so as to seperate them ? So you could call it plateau edging for eg.
 

Steneo

Senior Member, PEGym Hero, Member of the Month De
Well Done !
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
1,388
Reaction score
109
Points
0
This is a great post, + rep for you :)
 

sameel

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Jul 28, 2012
Messages
508
Reaction score
61
Points
48
Nice post. Plateue phase is the main thing to keep in mind while edging or ballooning or rubbing. It is what you can control. When you pass this phase, you feel "too good" sensation and you hit the PONR within seconds.

I used to hit the PONR within first 30 seconds of edging, and now I can edge 20-30 minutes without hitting the first PONR if I don't use imagination. Imagination just makes things out of control for me. I am trying to overcome this by using controlled imagination.

If I try MMO continuously for 2-3 days, my body learns to hit the first PONR within seconds. I think it just eliminates the plateue phase for me.
 

MrB8

Senior Member, Member of the Month Nov 2013
Well Done !
Joined
Feb 16, 2012
Messages
22,956
Reaction score
445
Points
0
This is a great addition to the gym ammonite! :thanks:
 

ammonite

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Jul 26, 2013
Messages
412
Reaction score
46
Points
0
First of all, thanks for the praise guys it really means a lot :)

On a minor point, up to this time I would regard the forms you mention as variants of stop/start . Would you like to name these forms so as to seperate them ? So you could call it plateau edging for eg.

I was trying to think of a name actually, didn't get anywhere though. I think plateau edging is an excellent name, since that's exactly what it it.

One of the tricky things about the plateau phase is that I think many premature ejaculators may never have really experienced it. I know way back when I started edging, it was no sensation then straight into the orgasm build up. It was not until I gained practice that I managed to discover the plateau phase, and I was actually shocked it was possible to feel good sensations without actually orgasming. Not only was this an amzing discovery for me but it actually changed my mindset away from being so focused on orgasm, which also was a big help for control.

The great thing about the plateau phase is that it becomes easier and easier to control simply with practice. For some people such as myself, actually getting there in the first place was the hardest part, once you're there you improve just by being there. Also, as you improve, it is possible to push the boundary between plateau and orgasm closer and closer, so you can gain not only better pleasure but also more control about when you decide to cum.

Before experiencing the plateau phase, I was only aware of two other phases. The first, was essentially a non excited phase; I could edge in this forever as there were no feelings, but since it is not possible to be in this during sex it was useless. The second was the orgasm phase, and only the MMOs amongst us have any degree of control over this. To get into the plateau phase isn't easy, you must essentially increase the pleasure ever so gradually from the initial phase, but once you're there, it's worth it.

Going to make a short edit to the OP to explain the plateau phase more which will hopefully make it easier to relate to.
 
Last edited:

ammonite

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Jul 26, 2013
Messages
412
Reaction score
46
Points
0
Good writeup ammonite. I just reincorporated edging into my routine.

I sort of MMO. I have partial ejaculations that let out a little semen and noticeably drop my arousal - sort of like when people cum once before going a second time and lasting longer, though I'm only dropping my arousal like 10-20% at a time. It works for me where I hit the first PONR within like 15 seconds, drop it by ~20% or something, then am able to go for exponentially longer each time. After I hold in my ejaculation for like the 3rd or 4th time I'm reasonably set to keep going / just get bored (haven't had sex with a partner after discovering this).

It is extremely hard for me to edge without hitting this first PONR however. Do you think with the sort of training that you're talking about, that my top priority -should- be to try to prelong this first ejaculation as much as possible, and that the other edging that I'm doing isn't as helpful?

That's a tricky one. On the one hand, I said you should make it as easy as possible for yourself; if it is easier after first PONR this suggests you should get this out of the way, yet on the other hand the whole point of the exercise is to stay away from the PONR.

In short, I'm not really sure. What I would suggest is you try and stay awy from it, but don't get too stressed if you don't manage. Then you can work on staying away from the second PONR if that is easier. Maybe, by practicing staying away from the second, it will become easier to stay away from the first. For a longer term goal, you should definitely try and stay away from the first PONR, as you can't rewire your response otherwise.
 

asasf181

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
48
Reaction score
2
Points
28
GREAT post ammonite!
Must be added to the stickies, this is a must-read!

I also have a question: If the plateau phase is, say, 7 on the arousal scale - do you stop or slow down as soon as you start getting beyond 7? I mean, the moment you begin to ascend higher than 7 you stop (or slow down), and when back to 7 again you resume stroking?
 

Dude85

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
May 5, 2013
Messages
54
Reaction score
1
Points
0
GREAT post ammonite!
Must be added to the stickies, this is a must-read!

I also have a question: If the plateau phase is, say, 7 on the arousal scale - do you stop or slow down as soon as you start getting beyond 7? I mean, the moment you begin to ascend higher than 7 you stop (or slow down), and when back to 7 again you resume stroking?

You don't stop or slow down, you stay at that 7, and try to stay there for at least 20 minutes ( gradually build this up though, i started with 5 mins and then 10 etc.. babysteps ) And after you managed that you incorporate different positions and stimulation.

A small extra which works for me: Edge early in the morning just after waking up since your body is then still in a really relaxed state and it easier to stay calm. It works for me :)
 

asasf181

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
48
Reaction score
2
Points
28
Thanks for the answer, Dude85.
I understand that you should stay at 7, but when I edge I can't stay at 7 for full 20 minutes. After a few minutes I begin to build-up towards PONR. So my question was should I stop the moment I feel that the build-up starts in order to keep myself at 7?
 

ammonite

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Jul 26, 2013
Messages
412
Reaction score
46
Points
0
GREAT post ammonite!
Must be added to the stickies, this is a must-read!

I also have a question: If the plateau phase is, say, 7 on the arousal scale - do you stop or slow down as soon as you start getting beyond 7? I mean, the moment you begin to ascend higher than 7 you stop (or slow down), and when back to 7 again you resume stroking?

Thank you :)

If you find yourself getting too aroused, the first thing you should do is try and take it down a little without stopping, such as slowing rate, changing grip or position or stopping imagination. If this fails, the best bet is to stop and don't worry about it. Don't treat stopping as a failure, this is important because negative thoughts don't help your self confidence and this slows down any progress.

Part of the battle of acsessing and staying in plateau phase is that your brain is probably too focused on orgasm, wheter you know it or not. Therefore, it is important to try and ignore it, and the further from orgasm you are, the easier this will be. Getting to PONRs makes it really difficult to just forget about orgasm, as you should be doing. Once you learn to ignore orgasm and realise there is much more to sex, it will be much easier to stay in the plateau phase. Again, the problem is your brain is wired to cum too quickly, so it isnt easy to change it.

Of course, it is also important to be doing exercises to fix any underlying phsyical symptom of pre e, and balancing edging progression and not rushing is a fine line which you must find for yourself through experimenting.
 

hoochiNn

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Sep 27, 2011
Messages
407
Reaction score
8
Points
0
After a while without doing it, this morning I made ​​my Edging's session. The truth is that it has gone better than I expected, has been gradual, lasting about ~25-30 minutes without ejaculating at the end but there are things to improve:

An inhuman number of IK (even trying to do a RK to relax the area, I have stopped my kegel/rk routine for a while and yet, my kegels weren't in a great shape)
If I stimulate directly the glans with my hand, inevitably I notice a maintained strong kegel. Should I avoid stimulating it until this improves? If I avoid the glans I also notice that I maintain a kegel, but not as intense. Can I do something during my Edging's session to improve in this area?

I also think that I should improve on keep my mind "blank". Its easy for me to go on that state of "trance" where I short my breath or I perform it at least, superficially. It is difficult to stay focused or rather "blank" for a while, when I realize, I been some time thinking about things of my day to day or anything else.
 

ammonite

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Jul 26, 2013
Messages
412
Reaction score
46
Points
0
Yeah, holding a kegel while edging has to stop. I take it you are doing a reverse kegel routine, and perhaps trying out the penis stretches?

For now, the only way to try and stop the kegel during edging is by trying the RK, and if you say this doesn't work, try going really slow and making a conscious effort to try and keep the muscles relaxed.

Try and eliminate the kegel from regular edging, then start working on the glans; working from the bottom up is the way to do edging remember.

Also, try and keep the muscles relaxed throughout the day, the more IKs you stop, the easier it will become to stop them.
 

hoochiNn

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Sep 27, 2011
Messages
407
Reaction score
8
Points
0
Maybe this is something related, today at the morning, just when I woke up, I could feel all my muscles very relaxed, especially my legs.

During the rest of the day, I notice a lot of tension and involuntary contractions of the muscles. If I concentrate on relaxing them, can reduce these contractions, but I can not completly avoid them.


So here we go back to the usual question, does one must be 24/7 concentrated in his cure? I think that creates anxiety and is not healty at all but I would like to know that I'm doing things right.
 
Last edited:

almightycrunch

Registered
Well Done !
Joined
Nov 12, 2013
Messages
213
Reaction score
4
Points
0
Yeah, I know the feeling Hooch, I have found myself completely conscious of my pelvic floor all day long for the last 2-3 months, it is on my mind constantly, and I am constantly monitoring my muscles and responses while awake. This totally goes against the thought that you need to "put it out of your mind"